When did life turn into a deadline?

In Episode 3 of Who Told You That?, Marquita challenges the quiet pressure so many of us carry—the belief that by a certain age, we should already have it all together. The career. The relationships. The healing. The confidence. The clarity.

This episode explores how comparison, social timelines, and external expectations create anxiety, self-doubt, and a constant sense of falling behind. We unpack the myth of arrival—the idea that there’s a final destination where everything suddenly makes sense—and why that belief keeps us disconnected from the beauty of becoming.

Through honest reflection and psychological insight, Marquita reminds listeners that growth is not linear, clarity is not instant, and purpose is not on a clock. You are not late. You are not behind. You are not failing.

You are evolving.

This conversation is an invitation to release unrealistic timelines, honor your current season, and trust that becoming who you are meant to be takes time—and that time is not working against you.

Because your life is not a race.
And you don’t have to be “there” to be worthy.

Credits & References

Festinger, L. (1954) – Social Comparison Theory, Human Relations Journal

Erikson, E. (1982) – The Life Cycle Completed, on identity and adult development

American Psychological Association (APA) – Research on social comparison, self-esteem, and decision-making

Insights and reflection from Marquita Clark and the MAQ Mentoring community

Disclaimer

This podcast is for educational and inspirational purposes only. It does not substitute for professional mental health advice. If you are struggling with anxiety, self-doubt, or life transitions, please consult a licensed therapist, counselor, or mental health professional.

Somewhere along the way, strength stopped being a choice—and became an expectation.

In Episode 2 of the Who Told You That? mini-series, Marquita unpacks the emotional weight of always being “the strong one.” The dependable one. The one who doesn’t fall apart. The one who holds everyone else together—often at the expense of her own needs.

This episode explores how strength, especially for Black and brown girls and women, is often rooted in survival rather than self-care. We talk about emotional labor, hyper-independence, and the quiet fear many of us carry: If I stop being strong, will I still be loved?

Through psychological insight, cultural reflection, and honest conversation, this episode invites you to reconsider what strength really means—and whether it’s time to redefine it.

Because softness is not weakness.
Rest is not laziness.
And needing help does not make you less worthy.

This is an invitation to take the cape off—without guilt.

This episode draws inspiration from research, scholarship, and lived experience, including:

• Dr. Thema Bryant, PhD – Trauma psychologist and President of the American Psychological Association, particularly her work on trauma, overfunctioning, and the “strong Black woman” schema.

• Woods-Giscombé, C. L. (2010) – Superwoman Schema: African American Women’s Views on Stress, Strength, and Health, published in Qualitative Health Research.

• American Psychological Association (APA) – Research on emotional labor, stress responses, and trauma-informed care.

• bell hooks, All About Love – Reflections on care, self-abandonment, and redefining love beyond sacrifice.

• Personal reflection and mentoring insights from Marquita Clark and the MAQ Mentoring community.

This podcast episode is intended for educational, reflective, and inspirational purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional mental health care, diagnosis, or treatment.

If you are experiencing emotional distress or feel overwhelmed, please seek support from a licensed therapist, counselor, or mental health professional. Asking for help is an act of strength.

Follow @maqmentoring on all platforms
And remember—
Every girl is valued. Every story matters. And you always belong.

We’re kicking off a powerful new MAQ Musings mini-series with a question that hits home for so many of us:

Who told you you weren’t enough?

In this deeply personal and thought-provoking episode, Marquita invites listeners to unmask the inner narratives they've carried for far too long—narratives shaped by childhood experiences, societal messaging, trauma, and silence. Together, we unpack how the voice that said “you’re not enough” may have been subtle, persistent, and completely wrong.

You’ll hear about the roots of internalized inadequacy, how it hides in perfectionism and people-pleasing, and how healing begins when we start rewriting the story. This episode is both a reflection and a rebellion against lies we never agreed to—but often live by.

Whether you're a grown woman reclaiming your truth or a young girl learning how to love herself out loud, this conversation is for you. Because you were always enough—before the titles, before the trauma, before the world told you otherwise.

And to the girls in our MAQ Mentoring family: This episode is your reminder that you don’t have to change who you are to be loved, you already belong.

This episode includes insights and ideas inspired by:

• Dr. Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection — on shame, self-worth, and the courage to be vulnerable.

• Dr. Thema Bryant, clinical psychologist and trauma expert — on trauma-informed healing and reclaiming voice.

• Dr. Kristin Neff, Self-Compassion — on how self-criticism stems from unmet needs and societal pressure.

• MAQ Mentoring curriculum insights and community journaling prompts developed by Marquita Clark.

• Personal experiences and lived stories from the host’s own journey of healing, leadership, and belonging.

This podcast is for educational and inspirational purposes only. The information shared reflects the personal experiences, perspectives, and research-based insights of the host and is not a substitute for professional mental health or medical advice.

If you are struggling with your mental or emotional health, please seek guidance from a licensed therapist, counselor, or health provider. You deserve real help and real healing.

Follow us on all platforms at @maqmentoring
🎧 Listen on Spotify and Amazon Music
💙 And remember—every girl is valued, every story matters, and you always belong.

This week on MAQ Musings, Marquita invites you to slow down, breathe, and reflect on the lessons hidden in your year.

Not every seed you planted bloomed but every single one had purpose. In this heartfelt 8-minute reflection, you’ll uncover the beauty in your growth, the strength in your survival, and the peace that comes from releasing what no longer serves you.

Disclaimer:

MAQ Musings is a reflective and motivational podcast created for inspiration and personal growth. It is not intended to replace professional mental health, medical, or therapeutic advice. If you are in crisis or need support, please reach out to a licensed professional or contact your local helpline.

In our season finale, Marquita guides you through the tender art of release—choosing peace over pressure, wisdom over weight. We unpack why letting go can feel heavy, how to honor the lessons without carrying the load, and simple steps to make room for the you that’s blooming.

Week 4 Challenge: Name one thing that no longer serves you—and let it go, gently. 💙

Disclaimer: This podcast is for inspirational and educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional therapy, counseling, or medical advice. If you’re struggling with your mental or emotional well-being, please seek support from a licensed professional or trusted mentor.

This week, Marquita gets real about big emotions—and how to honor them without letting them run the show. You’ll learn why emotions are data (not directives), simple tools to self-regulate (“name it to tame it,” breathe before reacting, ask “What do I need?”), and a 2-minute daily check-in to build emotional strength with softness. Plus, a quick invite to our Masquerade Gala celebrating our girls, our growth, and Marquita’s 40th. 💙

Week 3 Challenge:
Ask yourself daily: What am I feeling? Where is it in my body? What do I need? Then honor the answer—gently.

Disclaimer:
This podcast is for inspirational and educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional therapy, counseling, or medical advice. If you’re struggling with your mental or emotional well-being, please seek support from a licensed professional or trusted mentor.

This week, Marquita reframes boundaries—not as brick walls, but as soft, steady guardrails that protect your peace while keeping your heart open. Drawing on the simple, powerful lens of “what’s okay and what’s not okay,” we explore why girls and women often struggle to say no, how to stay kind and clear, and what it looks like to honor your capacity without guilt.

In this episode, you’ll hear:

• What boundaries really are (and aren’t)—no walls, just wisdom

• Why saying “no” can be the biggest “yes” to yourself

• Scripts for gentle, firm language you can use today

• How to handle the discomfort that comes with new limits

Soft Girl Boundary Toolkit:
1️⃣ Know your non-negotiables (what drains you vs. what restores you)
2️⃣ Use “I” language for clarity without blame
3️⃣ Expect some discomfort—boundaries teach others how to love you better

Week 2 Soft Girl Challenge:
Set one boundary that protects your peace—turn off notifications after 8 PM, pause before replying to overwhelming texts, decline the extra project, or tell a loved one, “I need space to care for myself this weekend.” Then reflect: How did it feel—uncomfortable, empowering, freeing?

Softness isn’t losing yourself to love others—it’s loving others without losing yourself. 💙

Follow, rate, and share this with a friend who needs a gentle nudge toward clarity.

Disclaimer:
This podcast is for inspirational and educational purposes only and does not replace professional therapy, counseling, or medical advice. If you are struggling with your mental or emotional well-being, please seek support from a licensed professional or trusted mentor.

Soft Girl Season, Ep. 1 — Rest Is Resistance

In this season kick-off, Marquita invites you to reclaim one of your most overlooked superpowers: rest. Not the crash-on-the-couch kind—real, intentional, soul-refreshing rest. We unpack why gentleness is not shrinking, how “rest is resistance” in a burnout culture, and the seven types of rest (physical, mental, emotional, sensory, creative, social, spiritual) so you can name what you actually need. You’ll learn three simple ways to pause on purpose—schedule white space, name your need, and set a soft boundary—and you’ll get a 15-minute daily reset challenge to start today. This is your permission slip to slow down, feel more, and rise gently. 💙

You’ll hear:

• Why choosing rest is choosing yourself

• The 7 types of rest (TEDxAtlanta, 2019)

• 3 practical rhythms to protect your peace

• Week 1 Soft Girl Challenge (15-minute daily reset)

Try it this week: Sit in silence, take a tech-free walk, doodle, journal, or simply breathe—and then ask, “What did my body say when I got quiet?”