Somewhere along the way, strength stopped being a choice—and became an expectation.

In Episode 2 of the Who Told You That? mini-series, Marquita unpacks the emotional weight of always being “the strong one.” The dependable one. The one who doesn’t fall apart. The one who holds everyone else together—often at the expense of her own needs.

This episode explores how strength, especially for Black and brown girls and women, is often rooted in survival rather than self-care. We talk about emotional labor, hyper-independence, and the quiet fear many of us carry: If I stop being strong, will I still be loved?

Through psychological insight, cultural reflection, and honest conversation, this episode invites you to reconsider what strength really means—and whether it’s time to redefine it.

Because softness is not weakness.
Rest is not laziness.
And needing help does not make you less worthy.

This is an invitation to take the cape off—without guilt.

This episode draws inspiration from research, scholarship, and lived experience, including:

• Dr. Thema Bryant, PhD – Trauma psychologist and President of the American Psychological Association, particularly her work on trauma, overfunctioning, and the “strong Black woman” schema.

• Woods-Giscombé, C. L. (2010) – Superwoman Schema: African American Women’s Views on Stress, Strength, and Health, published in Qualitative Health Research.

• American Psychological Association (APA) – Research on emotional labor, stress responses, and trauma-informed care.

• bell hooks, All About Love – Reflections on care, self-abandonment, and redefining love beyond sacrifice.

• Personal reflection and mentoring insights from Marquita Clark and the MAQ Mentoring community.

This podcast episode is intended for educational, reflective, and inspirational purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional mental health care, diagnosis, or treatment.

If you are experiencing emotional distress or feel overwhelmed, please seek support from a licensed therapist, counselor, or mental health professional. Asking for help is an act of strength.

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And remember—
Every girl is valued. Every story matters. And you always belong.