When did life turn into a deadline?

In Episode 3 of Who Told You That?, Marquita challenges the quiet pressure so many of us carry—the belief that by a certain age, we should already have it all together. The career. The relationships. The healing. The confidence. The clarity.

This episode explores how comparison, social timelines, and external expectations create anxiety, self-doubt, and a constant sense of falling behind. We unpack the myth of arrival—the idea that there’s a final destination where everything suddenly makes sense—and why that belief keeps us disconnected from the beauty of becoming.

Through honest reflection and psychological insight, Marquita reminds listeners that growth is not linear, clarity is not instant, and purpose is not on a clock. You are not late. You are not behind. You are not failing.

You are evolving.

This conversation is an invitation to release unrealistic timelines, honor your current season, and trust that becoming who you are meant to be takes time—and that time is not working against you.

Because your life is not a race.
And you don’t have to be “there” to be worthy.

Credits & References

Festinger, L. (1954) – Social Comparison Theory, Human Relations Journal

Erikson, E. (1982) – The Life Cycle Completed, on identity and adult development

American Psychological Association (APA) – Research on social comparison, self-esteem, and decision-making

Insights and reflection from Marquita Clark and the MAQ Mentoring community

Disclaimer

This podcast is for educational and inspirational purposes only. It does not substitute for professional mental health advice. If you are struggling with anxiety, self-doubt, or life transitions, please consult a licensed therapist, counselor, or mental health professional.

Somewhere along the way, strength stopped being a choice—and became an expectation.

In Episode 2 of the Who Told You That? mini-series, Marquita unpacks the emotional weight of always being “the strong one.” The dependable one. The one who doesn’t fall apart. The one who holds everyone else together—often at the expense of her own needs.

This episode explores how strength, especially for Black and brown girls and women, is often rooted in survival rather than self-care. We talk about emotional labor, hyper-independence, and the quiet fear many of us carry: If I stop being strong, will I still be loved?

Through psychological insight, cultural reflection, and honest conversation, this episode invites you to reconsider what strength really means—and whether it’s time to redefine it.

Because softness is not weakness.
Rest is not laziness.
And needing help does not make you less worthy.

This is an invitation to take the cape off—without guilt.

This episode draws inspiration from research, scholarship, and lived experience, including:

• Dr. Thema Bryant, PhD – Trauma psychologist and President of the American Psychological Association, particularly her work on trauma, overfunctioning, and the “strong Black woman” schema.

• Woods-Giscombé, C. L. (2010) – Superwoman Schema: African American Women’s Views on Stress, Strength, and Health, published in Qualitative Health Research.

• American Psychological Association (APA) – Research on emotional labor, stress responses, and trauma-informed care.

• bell hooks, All About Love – Reflections on care, self-abandonment, and redefining love beyond sacrifice.

• Personal reflection and mentoring insights from Marquita Clark and the MAQ Mentoring community.

This podcast episode is intended for educational, reflective, and inspirational purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional mental health care, diagnosis, or treatment.

If you are experiencing emotional distress or feel overwhelmed, please seek support from a licensed therapist, counselor, or mental health professional. Asking for help is an act of strength.

Follow @maqmentoring on all platforms
And remember—
Every girl is valued. Every story matters. And you always belong.

We’re kicking off a powerful new MAQ Musings mini-series with a question that hits home for so many of us:

Who told you you weren’t enough?

In this deeply personal and thought-provoking episode, Marquita invites listeners to unmask the inner narratives they've carried for far too long—narratives shaped by childhood experiences, societal messaging, trauma, and silence. Together, we unpack how the voice that said “you’re not enough” may have been subtle, persistent, and completely wrong.

You’ll hear about the roots of internalized inadequacy, how it hides in perfectionism and people-pleasing, and how healing begins when we start rewriting the story. This episode is both a reflection and a rebellion against lies we never agreed to—but often live by.

Whether you're a grown woman reclaiming your truth or a young girl learning how to love herself out loud, this conversation is for you. Because you were always enough—before the titles, before the trauma, before the world told you otherwise.

And to the girls in our MAQ Mentoring family: This episode is your reminder that you don’t have to change who you are to be loved, you already belong.

This episode includes insights and ideas inspired by:

• Dr. Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection — on shame, self-worth, and the courage to be vulnerable.

• Dr. Thema Bryant, clinical psychologist and trauma expert — on trauma-informed healing and reclaiming voice.

• Dr. Kristin Neff, Self-Compassion — on how self-criticism stems from unmet needs and societal pressure.

• MAQ Mentoring curriculum insights and community journaling prompts developed by Marquita Clark.

• Personal experiences and lived stories from the host’s own journey of healing, leadership, and belonging.

This podcast is for educational and inspirational purposes only. The information shared reflects the personal experiences, perspectives, and research-based insights of the host and is not a substitute for professional mental health or medical advice.

If you are struggling with your mental or emotional health, please seek guidance from a licensed therapist, counselor, or health provider. You deserve real help and real healing.

Follow us on all platforms at @maqmentoring
🎧 Listen on Spotify and Amazon Music
💙 And remember—every girl is valued, every story matters, and you always belong.