Imagine standing in front of an audience, maybe a group of colleagues or friends. You feel stuck, words escape you, and anxiety creeps in. What if I told you that confidence doesn’t come from appearances or external factors but from something deeper? Caroline Goyder talks about just this: how to unleash your authentic confidence, the kind that comes from within, enabling you to face the world with a steady voice and a light heart.

Your voice is much more than sounds and words; it’s a true musical instrument. Learn to understand and train it just as you would a guitar or a saxophone. The key is to practice: sing in the shower, in the car, or even in your kitchen. The more you practice your voice, the stronger and more confident it becomes. Don’t worry if you think you’re “off-key” or “not very expressive”—the secret lies in consistency and practice.

Have you ever noticed that those who seem the most confident are often the calmest? This is because confidence is rooted in breath: calm, deep, diaphragmatic breathing. The diaphragm is a part of the body we rarely think about, yet it’s essential for managing stress and grounding our voice. Try this: place a hand on your diaphragm, just below your chest, and breathe. You’ll feel the breath deepen, calm spreading within you, and that sensation of being anchored and present.

Start to think of breathing as a source of positive thoughts and energy. When you breathe mindfully, you start to “breathe in” emotions like calm, love, or excitement for what you want to say. Imagine speaking with a clear intention; your message will carry meaning and warmth, a wave that comes from deep within and resonates around you.

Finally, remember: those who speak confidently also know when to “keep quiet.” It’s no joke—it’s true. The ability to take your time, to close your mouth for a moment and let the breath come in, creates space within you. Only then can you find the calm that turns each word into an authentic message.

Rediscovering your voice and breath is like awakening a power that was already inside you, ready to emerge when you need it most. With a bit of training and mindfulness, you’ll be able to speak with the confidence of someone who knows what they’re saying—and why.

Imagine this: your workday ends, and as you step through the door, you leave behind the stress, the hustle, and everything that came with it. But do you really?

In the words of a wise leader, our emotions at work spill over into other areas of life. Think about those days when everything seems to go wrong. You snap at a colleague, rush through a project, or just can’t seem to catch a break. It doesn’t stop there, does it? That mood follows you home. Suddenly, even the simplest things at home feel off. And it works the other way, too. A great day at work? You’re upbeat, the world seems brighter, and everyone around you notices.

This isn’t just a coincidence. It’s called the “spillover effect.” It’s that phenomenon where our work mood carries into our personal lives. And it doesn’t stop with just us. There’s also something known as the “crossover effect.” Picture this: after a tough day, you go home feeling grumpy, and before you know it, everyone else is a little off too. It’s contagious. But when we’re happy and engaged, that positivity crosses over to others just as easily.

Now, here’s the real insight: engaging your team isn’t about keeping them “happy” in some shallow way. It’s about fostering an environment where people feel emotionally committed. It’s about creating that spark where they genuinely care. Because, as research has shown time and time again, engaged people aren’t just more productive—they’re healthier, less stressed, and yes, they stick around longer.

And what drives this kind of engagement? It boils down to three big things: growth, recognition, and trust.

Growth: People need to feel they’re advancing in their careers and evolving as individuals. If someone’s just coasting, their engagement drops. But when there’s a sense of progress, they’re energized.

Recognition: This isn’t about employee-of-the-month plaques. It’s about feeling genuinely appreciated. Recognition comes from small moments—being listened to, having your ideas respected, knowing your efforts matter.

Trust: This goes two ways. People need to trust their leaders and believe in the future of their company. Confidence that the business is on the right path inspires loyalty and dedication.

Here’s a simple way to remember it: GRT—Growth, Recognition, Trust. Together, they form the backbone of an engaged and thriving team, AND you’re creating a ripple effect that touches families, relationships, and communities.

Leadership isn’t just about profits and productivity; it’s about people. And it’s time we start leading with that in mind.

Imagine being face to face with someone threatening you. It’s not just a casual argument, but a life-or-death situation. Chris Voss, a former FBI negotiator, teaches us that in these cases, you should never split the difference. Compromise isn’t always the answer, especially when the stakes are high.

But what does this mean in everyday life? We often think compromise is the solution, but Voss tells us that settling in the middle can mean losing. The key is tactical empathy: deeply understanding the other person, even when you disagree. It’s about describing their emotions without judgment, letting them know you're listening.

Voss shares how, in a tense situation, simply using his name diffused an aggressive encounter. He was no longer a stranger but Chris, a person. That small gesture completely changed the dynamic, because when people feel understood, they lower their defenses.

This technique isn’t just for hostage negotiators. It works in every area of life, from work to personal relationships. Instead of reacting defensively, try reflecting the other person’s emotions. You don’t have to agree, but making the other person feel heard can transform the interaction.

So, next time you face a conflict, don’t rush to compromise. Use tactical empathy to build a deeper connection and find a solution that truly respects both sides. Even in the toughest situations, remember: we’re all human.

Have you ever thought about how many times you’ve sabotaged yourself without even realizing it? Have you ever caught yourself thinking, "I’m not good enough," "I don’t deserve this success," or "What if I fail?" Well, you’re not alone. These thoughts are like little internal saboteurs, always ready to hold you back, convincing you to stop before you even start.

But here’s something important you need to know: self-sabotage often stems from the belief that you don’t deserve something good. When you start to believe you’re not enough, that you’re not worthy of love, success, or happiness, it’s easy to fall into this trap. But here’s a truth you may need to hear: you deserve all the best. And no, that’s not just a cliché.

Think for a moment about how you feel when you doubt yourself. When you’re hard on yourself, others pick up on it. It’s as if your negative thoughts are an energy that people can sense. This can impact how you present yourself to the world, whether you’re looking for a job, starting a relationship, or simply trying to achieve what you want.

So, what can you do? You need to banish that doubt. And if you’re wondering how, well, start by laughing at your negative thoughts. Yes, you heard that right: laugh at them! Imagine that critical voice in your head speaking in the voice of a funny character, like Tweety or Donald Duck. Laughing at those insecurities makes them less powerful and helps you amplify the positive voice inside you.

Here’s a fundamental rule of the mind: it can’t hold two opposite thoughts at the same time. If you truly believe you can do something, you can’t simultaneously have doubts. So, choose the positive thought. Start telling yourself: "I’m good, I’m capable, no one can do this better than me." When you do that, doubt disappears because there’s no room for it.

Another powerful trick is to write things down. Grab a piece of paper and list all your fears and insecurities. Then, next to them, write the positive version. For example: "I have two kids, who’s going to want me?" becomes "I already have love in my life, so I can attract even more."

We often sabotage ourselves out of fear of failure. Think of the times you’ve said, "I could’ve done it, but I stayed up too late," or "I was too busy having fun." These excuses protect us from admitting we didn’t feel capable. But the truth is, they don’t help. We need to stop blaming external factors and start truly believing in ourselves.

The mind works like a two-lane road: there’s the lane of doubt and the lane of confidence. You can’t drive in both directions at the same time. So, choose the right lane. Choose to believe in yourself. And when you do, something extraordinary happens: the world will start to follow you.

Always remember: you are enough. You don’t need to change a thing. Your uniqueness is what makes you special, and when you accept who you are, you’ll find that others do too. So, stop sabotaging yourself and start believing that you deserve all the best. Because you really do.

Have you ever thought of negotiation as a battle? We often believe it’s about “winning” something, but the truth is that this approach can lead to more resistance than results.

Margaret Neale, a negotiation expert, invites us to see things differently: not as a confrontation, but as an opportunity to solve a problem together. The goal isn’t to take something from the other person, but to find a solution that works for both.

Margaret learned this lesson from her horse, Sal. When she tried to force her into complex movements, Sal became more nervous and resistant. Margaret was fixated on "winning," but Sal was saying "no" with every fiber of her being. Only when Margaret stopped seeing the situation as a power struggle and started guiding with calmness and support did Sal begin to follow.

True negotiation is a partnership, not a dictatorship. It’s not about commanding or forcing the other to say “yes,” but about creating a path that makes the right choice for both parties. Whether you're negotiating a contract or discussing something with a friend, remember: solve the problem, don’t try to win the battle.

Being flexible about how you reach your goal is often more important than insisting on just one way. As Margaret learned from Sal, trust and support are the real keys to a successful negotiation.

Have you ever found yourself talking to someone you just can’t stand? The conversation heats up, your heart races, and then you walk away, only to think of the perfect comeback you should’ve said. It happens to everyone, and do you know why? It’s your brain kicking into protection mode.

When we encounter "difficult" people, the fight-or-flight response kicks in, and our rational thinking shuts down. We label others: "they don’t listen", "they always have to one-up everyone", "grumpy". But often, it’s not the person that’s difficult, it’s their behavior at that moment.

And we can learn to handle it differently. Here’s the trick: you can’t change others, but you can change how you perceive them. Instead of saying "they’re impossible," think "I didn’t like how they acted today." Separating the person from the behavior is a crucial step.

Then, take a deep breath—it helps calm the brain and respond better. Using inclusive language is another powerful tool. Don’t point fingers with "you always do this", but move the conversation to common ground: "It seems like we’re having some communication issues." Simple, right? And it immediately lowers the other person's defenses.

Sometimes, giving a small compliment to someone who drives you crazy can transform the relationship. A simple "Great job on that report" can turn an enemy into an ally. Because, in the end, handling difficult people is about taking care of yourself. Is it really worth getting upset? Probably not.

Remember, handling difficult people is possible. You just need to choose to control what you can: yourself.

#motivation #relationship #communication #influencemastery #leadership

Speaking up isn’t always easy, but there are strategies you can use to improve your ability to express yourself without fear. I found great inspiration in the ideas of Adam Galinsky, who has deeply studied how we can expand our "range of acceptable behavior." Here are the 5 key tools I learned from him:

Know Your Power: Your ability to speak up depends on the context and the power you feel you have. The more power you perceive, the wider your range to speak up. But even if you feel less powerful, you can still expand your range.

Take Perspective: Putting yourself in someone else’s shoes makes you more persuasive. When you understand what the other person wants, you're more likely to get what you want.

Be Flexible: Offer choices instead of imposing a single option. Giving alternatives lowers defenses and increases the chances that your proposal will be accepted.

Ask for Advice: Build alliances by asking for advice. This makes you more appreciated and solves the self-promotion dilemma: you can show competence without seeming arrogant.

Tap Into Your Passion: Speaking with passion makes you more convincing. When you show enthusiasm, others are more likely to listen to and follow you.

These tools, inspired by Adam Galinsky’s work, will help you speak up with confidence and expand your range of acceptable behavior. Speaking with courage will become easier, and your days will be more fulfilling.

You’ve always been told that the goal of life is to find balance, but maybe it’s time to stop chasing it. Perfect balance doesn’t exist: life is a constant adjustment, a movement to avoid standing still. Instead of aiming to be balanced, try living "off balance," but with a clear purpose.

Why being “off balance” helps you grow

Every time you learn something new, you step out of your comfort zone. It’s that feeling of imbalance that allows you to grow. When you choose to be "off balance" to improve yourself, you make real progress and meaningful changes in both your life and the lives of others.

The 5 spheres of your life

Picture your life as being made up of 5 interconnected spheres: work, relationships, health, spirituality, and personal passions. Don’t try to separate them; accept that they influence one another. Nurture them all, because together they create true success.

Embrace uncertainty

Change is inevitable, so instead of fearing it, embrace it. When you feel off balance, it’s a sign that you’re growing. Push beyond your limits and seek new challenges, even if they seem difficult at first.

The secret is action, not balance

We can’t do everything at once. True growth comes from managing one goal at a time and finding breathing room between actions. The key is to let go of the idea of perfect balance and live "off balance," but with a clear purpose.

Stop protecting yourself from uncertainty and start living it. Are you ready?