Have you ever thought of negotiation as a battle? We often believe it’s about “winning” something, but the truth is that this approach can lead to more resistance than results.

Margaret Neale, a negotiation expert, invites us to see things differently: not as a confrontation, but as an opportunity to solve a problem together. The goal isn’t to take something from the other person, but to find a solution that works for both.

Margaret learned this lesson from her horse, Sal. When she tried to force her into complex movements, Sal became more nervous and resistant. Margaret was fixated on "winning," but Sal was saying "no" with every fiber of her being. Only when Margaret stopped seeing the situation as a power struggle and started guiding with calmness and support did Sal begin to follow.

True negotiation is a partnership, not a dictatorship. It’s not about commanding or forcing the other to say “yes,” but about creating a path that makes the right choice for both parties. Whether you're negotiating a contract or discussing something with a friend, remember: solve the problem, don’t try to win the battle.

Being flexible about how you reach your goal is often more important than insisting on just one way. As Margaret learned from Sal, trust and support are the real keys to a successful negotiation.