People pleasing is a habit that many people in today's world have. It involves putting others' needs before our own in order to keep those around us happy. Although it is done with good intentions, as people pleasers usually just want people to feel good, it often comes at the cost of your own wellbeing.
Some signs of people pleasing include agreeing with whoever is in front of you, apologising for things that aren't your fault, not being able to say no, changing your personality depending on who's around you, and basing your worth on how others think of you.
As someone who has spent a lot of time people pleasing and dealt with the negative personal impacts, I have learned that we have the ability to choose ourselves. This doesn't mean that you can't bring people good energy, spread love, and help others, but it is a practice of doing these things while making sure our OWN needs are being met.
Too often people lose themselves in the journey of satisfying others. We can't show up as a true source of light in this world unless we are attending to our own internal needs too. This means being aware of what we desire, setting boundaries that keep our energy safe, and letting go of people who aren't willing to respect our boundaries.
The journey of letting go of people pleasing habits is a difficult but very empowering journey. It feels hard to set boundaries with the people we love because it may feel scary or feel like we are going to hurt them. But once it is done, we realise that we have the power and choice to protect our own energy and that is one of the most vital skills we can have along our growth journeys.
An important practice of choosing yourself:
Set boundaries-
Communicate your needs in a controlled and neutral way and decide what action you will to take if your needs can't be met.
Example boundary template: "Your actions affect me in this way and I need to make the choice to choose myself if you can't alter your actions."
Give people the choice but set the boundary and say if this doesn't improve and if you can't respect my boundary than I will need to remove myself from this situation.
Not everyone has to agree with you in this world., not everyone is going to like you, not everyone is going to respect your boundaries, and that's okay. Because as long as we choose ourselves, we can prevail through our journeys of light and love, and align with the people who do the same.
I believe in you all through this scary and challenging but empowering growth journey of choosing yourself.
Much love forever n ever
xoxo
rain
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