The Addiction to Being Needed | The Real Podcast – Mindset Rehab Series

What if one of the most praised traits in women—being helpful, reliable, and selfless—is actually one of the biggest reasons we feel exhausted, overwhelmed, and stuck?

In this powerful episode of The Real Podcast, Sally Luehman explores The Addiction to Being Needed, one of the most subtle and socially rewarded mindset patterns affecting high-achieving women, entrepreneurs, leaders, and mothers.

This episode is part of Sally’s 10-part Mindset Rehab Series, where she breaks down the unconscious thought habits that quietly run our lives—addictions to struggle, comfort, excuses… and now, being needed.

Being needed feels like purpose. It feels like love. It feels like leadership.

But for many women, especially overachievers and entrepreneurs, the need to be needed becomes an identity—and eventually a trap.

In this episode, Sally shares personal stories from motherhood, leadership, entrepreneurship, and coaching to uncover how:

• Over-helping turns into control
• Oversharing becomes a way to feel relevant
• Doing other people’s work blocks their growth—and ours
• Being “the fixer” creates burnout instead of fulfillment

Who This Episode Is For

This episode is for you if you:

• Are a high-achieving woman or entrepreneur who feels constantly needed
• Struggle to rest without guilt
• Often step in to “save” situations that aren’t yours
• Feel exhausted from being everything to everyone
• Notice resentment creeping in even though you “love helping”
• Wonder who you are when no one needs you

Topics Covered in This Episode

• What the addiction to being needed really is (and why it’s so sneaky)
• How motherhood trains our brains for constant responsibility
• Why oversharing is often about validation, not connection
• The difference between helping and taking over
• How being needed feeds the ego while draining the soul
• Why high-performing women struggle the most with this pattern
• How control disguises itself as leadership
• Why empowering others requires stepping back
• How to detox from being needed without losing your identity
• The difference between trained vs. untrained brain responses
• How to shift from fixing to coaching
• Why rest feels unsafe for so many women
• How this addiction impacts relationships, teams, and families

A Real Conversation About Identity

Sally speaks candidly about the identity shift many women face when life changes—when kids grow up, businesses evolve, or roles shift.

If you’ve ever thought:

• “If I’m not needed, am I still valuable?”
• “Who am I when I stop fixing everything?”
• “Why do I feel anxious when I’m not busy?”

The Real is a podcast for women who want to grow—personally, professionally, emotionally, and financially—without pretending, performing, or burning out.

Hosted by Sally Luehman, entrepreneur, real estate broker, and mindset coach, the show explores:

Visit coachingworks.net to schedule a free coaching session and explore how mindset coaching can help you.

Mindset Rehab: Excuse Addiction

Your brain is the best liar you’ve ever met — and excuses are its favorite trick. In this episode, we break down why your brain creates “logical” reasons to avoid discomfort… and how those micro-moments quietly sabotage your confidence, your business, and your future self.

From AM Sally vs. PM Sally battling over a bag of Lay’s potato chips to the seven excuses entrepreneurs make at every growth edge, this episode will help you spot the exact thoughts that keep you stuck.

You’ll Discover:

• Why excuses feel good (that tiny “emotional nicotine” hit)
• How excuses destroy self-trust
• The 7 most common entrepreneurial excuses
• Why “time excuses are priority lies”
• How procrastination feels productive but steals your peace
• The simple awareness practice to break your excuse cycle

Listener Favorites:

• “Every ‘later’ is a smaller version of you.”
• “When you make an excuse, you’re not lying to others — you’re lying to yourself.”
• “Excuses are the emotional nicotine of entrepreneurship.”

If you’re ready to catch your excuses in real time, rebuild your self-trust, and finally stop bargaining with your own brain — this one’s for you.

Download the Trained Brain Program & learn how to retrain your thoughts for growth, confidence, and success- completely free at Coachingworks.net.

If you want help training your brain, head to CoachingWorks.net and schedule a free session. If this episode hits home, share it with a friend and leave a review — it helps more women train their brains and change their lives.

Your Brain Is the Best Liar You’ve Ever Met

with Sally Luehman – The REAL Podcast

Your brain is clever — maybe too clever. Our brains are great at protecting us, but sometimes they lie. They make fear sound like common sense — and that keeps us stuck. This week on The REAL, Sally gets honest about how our own brain can be the most convincing liar we’ll ever meet.

If you’ve ever felt like your brain flips a switch and suddenly you’re nine years old again — reacting instead of responding, craving comfort, control, or validation — you’re not alone. In this episode, Sally breaks down the difference between an untrained brain (reactive, fear-based, driven by old stories) and a trained brain (intentional, disciplined, and calm under pressure).

You’ll learn how to spot when your mind is hijacking your business, your relationships, and your peace — and how to retrain it to work for you, not against you.

This episode is especially for the driven businesswoman who looks successful on paper but still feels like she’s fighting her own mind. Maybe you know what to do, but your brain talks you out of it every time. It’s not willpower — it’s training. And the good news? You can train it.

💡 Free Resource

Download the Trained Brain Program and learn how to retrain your thoughts for growth, confidence, and success — completely free at coachingworks.net.

🔍 What You’ll Learn

• How your brain creates believable lies that keep you stuck
• The moment your “nine-year-old self” takes the wheel — and how to take it back
• The simple mindset shift that turns fear into strategy

Headquarters Coaching LLC, All Rights Reserved, Sally Luehman November 10, 2025

In this second episode of the Mindset Rehab series, Sally Luehman dives into one of the quietest and most dangerous patterns holding entrepreneurs, real estate agents, and high-achievers back — the Addiction to Comfort.

Last week, we tackled The Addiction to Struggle — the loud, chaotic addiction that keeps you busy, overworked, and burned out. But this week, we’re exposing its opposite twin: Comfort, the silent addiction that feels safe but slowly suffocates your potential.

You’ll learn how comfort disguises itself as contentment, how it fuels underearning, procrastination, and fear of growth, and how to break free using a simple five-step self-coaching cycle. Sally also shares insights from her Untrained vs. Trained Brain Program, available free at www.coachingworks.net, to help you retrain your brain for courage, awareness, and continuous improvement.

Whether you’re building a business, leading a team, or trying to step into your next chapter, this episode will help you:

• Recognize when comfort is keeping you stuck.
• Reframe discomfort as the key to growth.
• Reconnect with your future self — the one waiting just outside your comfort zone.

Recorded in Wisconsin and produced by Headquarters Coaching, this Mindset Rehab episode blends real-life coaching with Midwest grit and heart.

In this very first episode of my Mindset Rehab series on The Real, we’re diving into something I see in entrepreneurs, salespeople, and even in everyday life: the addiction to struggle.

So many of us believe that if it isn’t hard, it doesn’t count. We glorify the grind, wear exhaustion like a badge of honor, and mistake chaos for progress. But what if that belief system is keeping you stuck and robbing you of growth, joy, and true flow?

Join me as I unpack what “struggle addiction” really looks like, how it sneaks into business and personal life, and what you can do to start breaking free from it. www.coachingworks.net

Have you ever had PAIN that just wouldn’t go away? The kind that makes you reach for anything—meds, ice packs, distractions—just to get through the day? In this episode of The Real, I get vulnerable about my own experience with tooth pain, and how it became a deeper reflection on the ways we all live with pain—physical, emotional, and mental.

Pain doesn’t always come as a sudden crisis. Sometimes it’s the quiet, daily discomfort we choose to push through. The stress we carry. The heartbreak we numb. The exhaustion we bury under busyness. We tell ourselves we’re fine, we show up for work and family, but underneath it all—we’re hurting.

And often, instead of facing that pain, we buffer it. We pour another glass of wine. We overwork ourselves. We scroll for hours. We get wrapped up in other people’s problems.

Those buffers numb the pain for a while, but they also prolong it. They keep us from real healing. And just like my friend who ignored his hip injury until it became permanent, the pain we avoid today can shape our lives tomorrow.

So how do we know when to push through, and when to stop and deal with what’s hurting? In this episode, I share a simple three-part framework that can help:

1. Check the Source. Your body doesn’t lie. Is the discomfort normal growth—like sore muscles after a workout—or is it something deeper that needs attention? Sometimes, it’s not just about pushing through. It’s about making that call, asking for help, or giving your body and mind what they truly need.

2. Identify your Buffers. What habits are you using to avoid pain? Food, work, alcohol, scrolling, drama—none of these make the pain disappear. They just delay it. By noticing your buffers, you bring them into the light without judgment. Awareness is the first step toward change.

3. Do One Brave Thing Today. You don’t have to fix everything at once. Real healing starts with one small, uncomfortable action. Maybe it’s scheduling the doctor’s appointment, saying the hard truth out loud, or simply asking for support. One brave step today can change your tomorrow.

Pain is part of being human, but it doesn’t have to define our story. In fact, learning how to face pain with honesty and courage can become one of the most powerful catalysts for growth.

So let me ask you: What’s your version of the toothache? What pain are you managing instead of healing? And what would happen if you faced it—just a little—today?

Join me for this raw and real conversation about pain, buffering, and what it takes to truly heal.

What if the real obstacle between you and the life you want… is you? But here’s the good news — you’re also the solution. In this episode, I’ll share 4 powerful mindset tools that help you break free from the highs and lows of your emotional patterns and create real change starting today.

In “I’m the Problem. And Also the Solution.”, I get real about how the stories we tell ourselves hold us back — and how radical responsibility flips the script. I’ll walk you through 4 simple but game-changing mindset tools: 1️⃣ Is it the truth? — Learn to challenge the lies you tell yourself. 2️⃣ What if? — Open your mind to possibility thinking. 3️⃣ CANEI — The secret to Continuous And Never Ending Improvement. 4️⃣ Just One More — How doing one extra thing creates momentum.

You’ll leave this episode feeling less stuck, more empowered, and ready to take bold action — because you’re not just the problem, you’re the solution, too.

This one’s for every woman who’s been frozen at the edge of a decision, waiting for a sign. In Episode 4 of THE REAL, “Screw It, Just Do It,” I share a story about jumping off a literal cliff—and what it taught me about fear, leadership, and doing the thing before you're ready. Whether you're growing a business, ending something old, or starting something new, this is your sign.

🔥 Listen in, share it with someone who's stuck, and if you're craving clarity and coaching—head to coachingworks.net. Let's do this together.