The sigh when you hand out a task. Sarcasm dressed up as humour. Agreement in the room and then nothing actually done. Written down on their own, none of it would get anyone in trouble, and that's exactly why it keeps going.

In this episode, Nicola looks at passive-aggressive behaviour at work and why good managers get stuck on it. Not because they lack nerve, but because they can't evidence it. You'll hear why people choose the sideways route, how to describe a pattern instead of reaching for a label, how to present impact in a way that can't be argued with, and what to say when you get "I was only joking."

Two steps from the COMPASS conversation model do all the heavy lifting here: observe and present impact. There's also one thing to do this week, and it takes a notebook and two weeks.

If you've got one of these sitting on your desk at the moment, have a look at the Workplace Conversation Kickstart: https://thepeoplementor.co.uk/the-workplace-conversation-kickstart/.

One session, one specific conversation, yours, with the words worked out before you walk in.

Mentioned in this episode:

Bitesize Brilliance: Managing People

Most managers were never actually taught how to manage. They were brilliant at their job, got promoted, and then found themselves responsible for a team with no real preparation for what that means. This podcast is for them. Bite Size Brilliance: Managing People is hosted by Nicola Richardson, founder of The People Mentor, with over 40 years of experience in leadership development and people management. Each episode is short, practical, and designed to give you something you can actually use - whether you're dealing with a difficult conversation you've been putting off, trying to get the best out of your team, or just feeling the weight of managing people and wondering if it's supposed to feel this hard. Episodes alternate between solo episodes where Nicola shares her expertise directly, and honest conversations with guests who know what it's like to lead people in the real world. No theory for theory's sake. No corporate fluff. Just real, useful insight for real managers.

BiteSize Brilliance: Managing People

Most managers were never actually taught how to manage. They were brilliant at their job, got promoted, and then found themselves responsible for a team with no real preparation for what that means. This podcast is for them. Bite Size Brilliance: Managing People is hosted by Nicola Richardson, founder of The People Mentor, with over 40 years of experience in leadership development and people management. Each episode is short, practical, and designed to give you something you can actually use - whether you're dealing with a difficult conversation you've been putting off, trying to get the best out of your team, or just feeling the weight of managing people and wondering if it's supposed to feel this hard. Episodes alternate between solo episodes where Nicola shares her expertise directly, and honest conversations with guests who know what it's like to lead people in the real world. No theory for theory's sake. No corporate fluff. Just real, useful insight for real managers.

What happens when your team is so small that no one else can pick up the pieces?

Simon Harniess leads the Essex Care Association with a two-person team, works part-time, and brings over 40 years of social care experience.

In this episode, he reveals the quiet management mistake that can cause problems for months, shares his unexpected response when someone in his team is running low, and explains how to build resilience when one absence could derail everything.

Plus, a career lesson he wishes he'd learned years earlier, and it has surprisingly little to do with doing your job well.

If you're managing a small team under pressure, this conversation is for you.

Mentioned in this episode:

BiteSize Brilliance: Managing People

Most managers were never actually taught how to manage. They were brilliant at their job, got promoted, and then found themselves responsible for a team with no real preparation for what that means. This podcast is for them. Bite Size Brilliance: Managing People is hosted by Nicola Richardson, founder of The People Mentor, with over 40 years of experience in leadership development and people management. Each episode is short, practical, and designed to give you something you can actually use - whether you're dealing with a difficult conversation you've been putting off, trying to get the best out of your team, or just feeling the weight of managing people and wondering if it's supposed to feel this hard. Episodes alternate between solo episodes where Nicola shares her expertise directly, and honest conversations with guests who know what it's like to lead people in the real world. No theory for theory's sake. No corporate fluff. Just real, useful insight for real managers.

Bitesize Brilliance: Managing People

Most managers were never actually taught how to manage. They were brilliant at their job, got promoted, and then found themselves responsible for a team with no real preparation for what that means. This podcast is for them. Bite Size Brilliance: Managing People is hosted by Nicola Richardson, founder of The People Mentor, with over 40 years of experience in leadership development and people management. Each episode is short, practical, and designed to give you something you can actually use - whether you're dealing with a difficult conversation you've been putting off, trying to get the best out of your team, or just feeling the weight of managing people and wondering if it's supposed to feel this hard. Episodes alternate between solo episodes where Nicola shares her expertise directly, and honest conversations with guests who know what it's like to lead people in the real world. No theory for theory's sake. No corporate fluff. Just real, useful insight for real managers.

Some people at work are genuinely difficult. And some haven't done a single thing wrong; you just can't stand them.

In this episode, I talk about the working relationship almost nobody admits to. The colleague who hasn't done anything you could write down, and yet your whole week shifts when you see their name in your diary.

I cover the question most managers skip before they open their mouth: what this quietly costs you and your credibility when you leave it alone, and how to have the conversation using my COMPASS model. You'll get the actual words to open with, including what to say when nothing is going wrong and it's simply a style clash.

If you've got a name in mind while you listen, this one's for you.

Find out more about the Workplace Conversation Kickstart here: https://thepeoplementor.co.uk/the-workplace-conversation-kickstart/

Mentioned in this episode:

Bitesize Brilliance: Managing People

Most managers were never actually taught how to manage. They were brilliant at their job, got promoted, and then found themselves responsible for a team with no real preparation for what that means. This podcast is for them. Bite Size Brilliance: Managing People is hosted by Nicola Richardson, founder of The People Mentor, with over 40 years of experience in leadership development and people management. Each episode is short, practical, and designed to give you something you can actually use - whether you're dealing with a difficult conversation you've been putting off, trying to get the best out of your team, or just feeling the weight of managing people and wondering if it's supposed to feel this hard. Episodes alternate between solo episodes where Nicola shares her expertise directly, and honest conversations with guests who know what it's like to lead people in the real world. No theory for theory's sake. No corporate fluff. Just real, useful insight for real managers.

BiteSize Brilliance: Managing People

Most managers were never actually taught how to manage. They were brilliant at their job, got promoted, and then found themselves responsible for a team with no real preparation for what that means. This podcast is for them. Bite Size Brilliance: Managing People is hosted by Nicola Richardson, founder of The People Mentor, with over 40 years of experience in leadership development and people management. Each episode is short, practical, and designed to give you something you can actually use - whether you're dealing with a difficult conversation you've been putting off, trying to get the best out of your team, or just feeling the weight of managing people and wondering if it's supposed to feel this hard. Episodes alternate between solo episodes where Nicola shares her expertise directly, and honest conversations with guests who know what it's like to lead people in the real world. No theory for theory's sake. No corporate fluff. Just real, useful insight for real managers.

In this episode of Bite Size Brilliance: Managing People, I'm joined by Adrian Wolfberg, organisational scientist and founder of Organizational Insight Consulting, to unpack a pattern that shows up in businesses of every size: telling someone "you own this" while still checking every decision they make.

Adrian draws on years of experience across defence, intelligence and organisational research to explain the difference between delegating a task and delegating the judgment that goes with it, why managers default to control even when they don't mean to, and the "double bind" that quietly teaches capable people to stop deciding and start waiting.

We also talk about why the same pattern shows up in small businesses as much as large ones, just for different reasons.

If you've ever wondered why your team keeps turning up at your door instead of getting on with it, this one's for you.

Connect with Adrian: oicllc.org | LinkedIn

Mentioned in this episode:

BiteSize Brilliance: Managing People

Most managers were never actually taught how to manage. They were brilliant at their job, got promoted, and then found themselves responsible for a team with no real preparation for what that means. This podcast is for them. Bite Size Brilliance: Managing People is hosted by Nicola Richardson, founder of The People Mentor, with over 40 years of experience in leadership development and people management. Each episode is short, practical, and designed to give you something you can actually use - whether you're dealing with a difficult conversation you've been putting off, trying to get the best out of your team, or just feeling the weight of managing people and wondering if it's supposed to feel this hard. Episodes alternate between solo episodes where Nicola shares her expertise directly, and honest conversations with guests who know what it's like to lead people in the real world. No theory for theory's sake. No corporate fluff. Just real, useful insight for real managers.

Bitesize Brilliance: Managing People

Most managers were never actually taught how to manage. They were brilliant at their job, got promoted, and then found themselves responsible for a team with no real preparation for what that means. This podcast is for them. Bite Size Brilliance: Managing People is hosted by Nicola Richardson, founder of The People Mentor, with over 40 years of experience in leadership development and people management. Each episode is short, practical, and designed to give you something you can actually use - whether you're dealing with a difficult conversation you've been putting off, trying to get the best out of your team, or just feeling the weight of managing people and wondering if it's supposed to feel this hard. Episodes alternate between solo episodes where Nicola shares her expertise directly, and honest conversations with guests who know what it's like to lead people in the real world. No theory for theory's sake. No corporate fluff. Just real, useful insight for real managers.

What if the answer to fewer difficult conversations was learning how to avoid them in the first place?

In this episode, I share the moment a chance comment during a mentoring session stopped me in my tracks, and why the businesses I work with all have the same three things missing.

I take you back to a little booklet from my time in the Civil Service that changed how I think about workplace conversations forever, and I break down exactly why some managers spend years fielding the same drama on repeat while others rarely have to.

Mentioned in this episode:

Bitesize Brilliance: Managing People

Most managers were never actually taught how to manage. They were brilliant at their job, got promoted, and then found themselves responsible for a team with no real preparation for what that means. This podcast is for them. Bite Size Brilliance: Managing People is hosted by Nicola Richardson, founder of The People Mentor, with over 40 years of experience in leadership development and people management. Each episode is short, practical, and designed to give you something you can actually use - whether you're dealing with a difficult conversation you've been putting off, trying to get the best out of your team, or just feeling the weight of managing people and wondering if it's supposed to feel this hard. Episodes alternate between solo episodes where Nicola shares her expertise directly, and honest conversations with guests who know what it's like to lead people in the real world. No theory for theory's sake. No corporate fluff. Just real, useful insight for real managers.

BiteSize Brilliance: Managing People

Most managers were never actually taught how to manage. They were brilliant at their job, got promoted, and then found themselves responsible for a team with no real preparation for what that means. This podcast is for them. Bite Size Brilliance: Managing People is hosted by Nicola Richardson, founder of The People Mentor, with over 40 years of experience in leadership development and people management. Each episode is short, practical, and designed to give you something you can actually use - whether you're dealing with a difficult conversation you've been putting off, trying to get the best out of your team, or just feeling the weight of managing people and wondering if it's supposed to feel this hard. Episodes alternate between solo episodes where Nicola shares her expertise directly, and honest conversations with guests who know what it's like to lead people in the real world. No theory for theory's sake. No corporate fluff. Just real, useful insight for real managers.

In this episode, I'm joined by Maureen O'Callaghan, educator, author, researcher and social entrepreneur, to talk about why capable, experienced women over 50 are so often overlooked at work.

We talk about how invisibility shows up quietly. Being left out of meetings, having your confidence knocked, being seen as less adaptable simply because of your age. We also get into ageism, the confidence gap, and what real support for women over 50 should look like.

Mentioned in this episode:

Bitesize Brilliance: Managing People

Most managers were never actually taught how to manage. They were brilliant at their job, got promoted, and then found themselves responsible for a team with no real preparation for what that means. This podcast is for them. Bite Size Brilliance: Managing People is hosted by Nicola Richardson, founder of The People Mentor, with over 40 years of experience in leadership development and people management. Each episode is short, practical, and designed to give you something you can actually use - whether you're dealing with a difficult conversation you've been putting off, trying to get the best out of your team, or just feeling the weight of managing people and wondering if it's supposed to feel this hard. Episodes alternate between solo episodes where Nicola shares her expertise directly, and honest conversations with guests who know what it's like to lead people in the real world. No theory for theory's sake. No corporate fluff. Just real, useful insight for real managers.

BiteSize Brilliance: Managing People

Most managers were never actually taught how to manage. They were brilliant at their job, got promoted, and then found themselves responsible for a team with no real preparation for what that means. This podcast is for them. Bite Size Brilliance: Managing People is hosted by Nicola Richardson, founder of The People Mentor, with over 40 years of experience in leadership development and people management. Each episode is short, practical, and designed to give you something you can actually use - whether you're dealing with a difficult conversation you've been putting off, trying to get the best out of your team, or just feeling the weight of managing people and wondering if it's supposed to feel this hard. Episodes alternate between solo episodes where Nicola shares her expertise directly, and honest conversations with guests who know what it's like to lead people in the real world. No theory for theory's sake. No corporate fluff. Just real, useful insight for real managers.

You make the point. Nothing. Ten minutes later, someone else says almost the same thing, and the whole room starts nodding. Does this sound like something you have experienced?

Influence has nothing to do with your job title, and in this episode, I want to prove it to you.

This week I'm looking at the hardest one: your peers. The people alongside you. The ones you might even be quietly competing with for the same next step. You cannot pull rank with them, so if you want them on your side, you have to earn it a different way.

In this episode, I cover:

• Why waiting for a promotion before you start influencing people is costing you more than you realise
• The difference between authority and influence, and why only one of them can actually be built right now
• Expert power and why competence alone will only get you so far
• How to frame your ideas in a way that lands with different types of people
• What real rapport looks like (and why the performed kind will backfire on you)
• A story from early in my career that changed how I think about all of this

If you have ever felt like you are saying the right things and nobody is listening, this one is for you.

You can find out more about The Manager's Academy here: https://6c35-thepeoplementor.systeme.io/the_managers_academy_membership

Mentioned in this episode:

BiteSize Brilliance: Managing People

Most managers were never actually taught how to manage. They were brilliant at their job, got promoted, and then found themselves responsible for a team with no real preparation for what that means. This podcast is for them. Bite Size Brilliance: Managing People is hosted by Nicola Richardson, founder of The People Mentor, with over 40 years of experience in leadership development and people management. Each episode is short, practical, and designed to give you something you can actually use - whether you're dealing with a difficult conversation you've been putting off, trying to get the best out of your team, or just feeling the weight of managing people and wondering if it's supposed to feel this hard. Episodes alternate between solo episodes where Nicola shares her expertise directly, and honest conversations with guests who know what it's like to lead people in the real world. No theory for theory's sake. No corporate fluff. Just real, useful insight for real managers.

Bitesize Brilliance: Managing People

Most managers were never actually taught how to manage. They were brilliant at their job, got promoted, and then found themselves responsible for a team with no real preparation for what that means. This podcast is for them. Bite Size Brilliance: Managing People is hosted by Nicola Richardson, founder of The People Mentor, with over 40 years of experience in leadership development and people management. Each episode is short, practical, and designed to give you something you can actually use - whether you're dealing with a difficult conversation you've been putting off, trying to get the best out of your team, or just feeling the weight of managing people and wondering if it's supposed to feel this hard. Episodes alternate between solo episodes where Nicola shares her expertise directly, and honest conversations with guests who know what it's like to lead people in the real world. No theory for theory's sake. No corporate fluff. Just real, useful insight for real managers.

Most managers prepare what they're going to say before a difficult conversation. Nina Ketel says that's exactly where it goes wrong. Lead with curiosity, not conclusions. And it changes everything.

Nina Ketel spent over 13 years leading teams in local authority before moving into coaching. She now helps people rebuild their confidence after some of life's harder chapters — redundancy, divorce, illness, returning to work after raising a family.

But what makes this conversation so good is that Nina brings both sides of the table. She knows what it feels like to sit in the manager's chair without a rulebook. And she knows what it feels like to walk back into a workplace having lost yourself along the way.

We talk about what great managers actually do differently, why people don't lose their ability when their confidence takes a knock (they just lose sight of it), and the single biggest mistake managers make when they're trying to have a difficult conversation — preparing what to say instead of what to ask.

Nina also shares the story behind her memoir, The £30,000 Lesson, and the What's Next programme she's running at a Women's Centre in Stockport, supporting women rebuilding their lives after domestic abuse.

It's a conversation full of real insight, real experience, and the kind of practical wisdom you can take straight into work with you.