Episode 15: I Didn’t Call It Abuse | Surviving Myself

“They were having a bad day.”
“That’s just how they are.”
“But they never hit me.”

What happens when the explanations we give don’t match how we feel?

In this episode of Seen & Heard with Monica, we continue the Surviving Myself series with an honest conversation about recognizing abuse—especially when that wasn’t what you called it at the time.

We talk about questioning yourself, why the good days can make things confusing, and how to listen when someone you love opens up. If you’re understanding your own experience differently now, give yourself some grace. You don’t have to have everything figured out to deserve support.

Content note: This episode discusses domestic violence and emotional abuse. Listen at your own pace.

U.S. support: Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-7233, text START to 88788, or visit https://www.thehotline.org. If your device may be monitored, consider using a safer device. If you’re in immediate danger, call 911 if you can do so safely.

You are seen. You are heard. You are valued. You matter.

What happens after someone trusts you enough to say, “I need to tell you something”?

In this installment of my Surviving Myself series on Seen & Heard with Monica, I’m sharing as a domestic violence survivor about being heard, feeling judged, and wondering whether it’s safe to open up again.

For Domestic Violence Awareness Month, we’re talking about how to support someone without taking over, why their story belongs to them, and what our response can mean when they’re already feeling alone.

You don’t need perfect words. But how you show up matters.

Content note: This episode discusses domestic violence without graphic details.

U.S. support: Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-7233, text START to 88788, or visit thehotline.org.

Your most dependable employee always finds a way. But what is that costing them?

When every missed deadline, unfinished task, and urgent assignment lands on the same person, being trusted can start feeling like a punishment.

In Episode 13 of Seen & Heard with Monica, we explore the hidden cost of being the employee everyone counts on—and why a once-engaged team member may stop volunteering, sharing ideas, or going the extra mile.

Monica shares a personal leadership lesson about recognizing this pattern in herself, plus practical ways leaders can offer support and employees can ask for clarity without guilt.

If your most dependable employee stopped rescuing the team tomorrow, what would fall apart?

Listen, reflect, and share with someone who needs this conversation.

Ready to strengthen communication and trust in your workplace? Send Monica a message with the word WORK on Instagram: @seen_and_heard_with_monica.

People stay where they feel valued.

One employee is corrected immediately.

Another repeatedly arrives late, misses deadlines, or mistreats coworkers—and everyone looks the other way.

Your team notices more than you may realize.

What happens when accountability depends on who the employee is? And what does your most dependable employee learn when the reward for doing good work appears to be…more work?

In Episode 12 of Seen & Heard with Monica, we’re bringing inconsistent leadership, unequal accountability, and the quiet damage they create into the room.

Because the written rules are not always the real rules.

The real rules are revealed by what leadership repeatedly allows.

If your team compared how expectations, opportunities, and consequences are applied, would they describe the process as fair?

Press play. This conversation may reveal a gap you didn’t realize your team was already watching.

Your team heard the announcement—but what did your actions say afterward?

In this episode, Monica explores the gap between what leaders communicate and what employees actually experience, why that gap weakens trust, and the small moments that reveal what an organization truly values.

Because people do not only listen to what leaders say. They watch what leaders do next.

What if the customer complaint isn’t where the problem began?

In Episode 10, Monica explores what customer interactions may be revealing about leadership communication and the employee experience. Before correcting the employee—or scheduling another customer service training—it may be time to look underneath the interaction.

What is really shaping the way your customers experience your organization?

Pull up a chair. Let’s bring the real issue into the room.

People are telling you. Are you listening?

The meeting ends—and then the real conversation begins.

In Episode 9, Monica explores why employees save their honest thoughts for the hallway, parking lot, and private conversations—and what that silence may reveal about workplace safety.

Because people are already talking. The question is whether they believe they can talk to you.

🎧 Listen now and take this week’s Seen & Heard Challenge.

Need help creating a workplace where people feel safe speaking up? DM WORK to Seen & Heard Consulting.

What happens when an employee who used to speak up suddenly gets quiet?

Disengagement doesn’t always look like missed deadlines, poor performance, or a bad attitude. Sometimes, the warning signs are much quieter.

In this episode of Seen & Heard with Monica, Monica talks about what can happen when employees stop sharing ideas, asking questions, raising concerns, or believing that speaking up will make a difference.

You’ll also hear why an employee’s frustration may not be the biggest warning sign—and why indifference deserves a leader’s attention.

Because sometimes they didn’t stop caring.

They stopped talking.

🎙️ People stay where they feel valued.