When we finally finish a project yet still feel behind, it is rarely about the checklist and almost always about our relationship with time, memory, and trust.

In this episode of Rhythms of Focus, we explore how wandering minds and ADHD can turn “done” into “never enough,” and how we can gently reshape that story using an Honor Guide rather than another rigid system. We discover how time blindness, working memory limits, and fragile self-trust quietly fuel our endless to-do lists, and how a visit-based approach can restore a calmer rhythm to our days. We also walk through the three core parts of the Honor Guide—the Engaged, the Horizon, and the Steady—so we can build a meeting ground between our past, present, and future selves.

- We clarify why finishing a project does not settle our nervous system and how to respond with agency instead of pressure.

- We learn how to design an Honor Guide that protects our attention while still honoring our desires and energy.

- We practice shifting from force and deadlines to gentle, daily visits that create sustainable momentum.

This episode also features an original piano composition, “Spoken Speaking Spirit,” as a kind of emotional journaling and time-travel through music. If this resonates, we invite you to subscribe and visit rhythmsoffocus.com so we can keep cultivating these rhythms of focus together.

## Hashtags

#ADHD #WanderingMinds #MindfulProductivity #HonorGuide #TimeBlindness #WorkingMemory #CreativeFocus #NeurodivergentFriendly #PianoMusic #RhythmsOfFocus

> Whew. Finally finished a project. I can't believe it. I finished a project. Time to celebrate. Wait, there's the, oh, I gotta do that one thing first. Well, what about, what about that other thing? Oh my goodness, there, there's zillions of things I still need to do. How does anyone do anything?

### Big Rocks, Hyper-Scheduling, and Endless To‑Do Lists

Organizing the day is not a simple matter. Some suggest setting up three "big rocks", these three large items that you wanna make sure you deal with today. Otherwise, all the little things take over, it can be a highly effective approach.

Others suggest what's called hyper scheduling. It's a method of estimating a time for everything you need or want to do and scheduling every minute on your calendar. It's kind of similar to using a budget for money, but here with seconds, minutes, and hours.

Others create long lists, infinitely long lists. They spend the day scanning that list, searching for something simultaneously easy, important within their energy levels and interest. And these things kind of pile up until the lists, toxicity levels break, and we start a new list.

Well, any of these have their utility, but sometimes they also have their troubles. Even the simple three big rocks. In a recent episode of the rhythms of Focus, I described, uh, four limits to productivity, namely time, working, memory, agency, and trust.

### Time Blindness, Working Memory, Agency, and Trust

Wandering minds in particular struggle with all of these. So-called Time Blindness, a constriction of working memory, an exhaustion of an injury to agency in which we say I don't wanna, and a lack of trust between the past, present, and future selves, such that sending messages between them is rife with strife.

The waves of focus methodology includes a number of tools to help manage, and today, rather than go into so much of the, philosophical underpinnings of it. I just wanna describe what are the rudiments of what I call an honor guide.

Introducing the Honor Guide – A Meeting Ground for Your Selves

The honor guide is a meeting ground between the past, present, and future selves. It has a fairly simple...

When we sit down to read and realize we’ve “read the same paragraph four times,” it can feel like proof that we’re broken. In this episode of Rhythms of Focus, we explore a kinder, more rhythmic way for wandering minds and adults with ADHD to meet the page and actually feel alive in the words.

### What we explore

We look at why reading can feel like climbing a mountain, especially when working memory, emotions, and confusion fog the “now” of our attention. We also unpack what “active reading” really means for wandering minds and how we can use confusion, sleepiness, and resistance as gentle signals instead of verdicts against us.

Together, we:

• Reframe mind wandering and re-reading as part of the brain’s natural “formatting” process, not personal failure.

• Practice questions like “What does this have to do with that?” and “What do we know, think, and not know?” to restore agency on the page.

• Explore simple, environment-based supports (like single-path attention and fewer “infinite gravity pools”) that make sustained reading more possible for ADHD minds.

This episode also features an original solo piano composition, “Alight,” inviting us to feel how staying alive in the notes mirrors staying alive in the sentences. If this resonates, we invite you to subscribe and visit rhythmsoffocus.com to keep traveling these gentler paths of agency, mindfulness, and rhythm together.

## Hashtags

#ADHD #WanderingMinds #mindfulproductivity #readingwithADHD #workingmemory #activeReading #neurodivergent #focusstrategies #gentleproductivity #RhythmsofFocus

## Transcript

“I’ve Read This Paragraph Four Times” – When Reading Feels Impossible

I think I've read the same paragraph four times without absorbing a thing. How the heck do people read?   📍 ​

Wandering Minds, Books, and the Mountain of Focus

 for some wandering minds, reading a book is about as difficult as climbing a mountain, mountaineers notwithstanding. Getting to the book at all is one hurdle, and staying with the book is yet another. We might blame that wandering mind, this sense I just can't focus, or maybe I'm not a visual learner well either, might be true.

Interestingly, though, I've met quite a number of those with wandering minds who find reading delightful. This ready made path, easily followed without needing to hold back.

The guardrails of the words and the passage lead them along this gripping story. Now, sometimes they might fall into other troubles like an attention tunnel hyperfocus. It's hard to break out of. While the troubles of being inflow are certainly important and worthy of our attention, I wanna focus today on the other side of matters, which is getting into the book.

When a Book Feels Dead – Boredom, Assignments, and Resistance

There's a sense of deadness, the words, the boredom. We could argue that sometimes a book just isn't very engaging. It's the book's fault, not mine. No, certainly that can be the case too, but I would just say, okay, we'll find another. And then you're saying I'm assigned this one. Well, okay. Okay. I give up.

Let's see what we can do, anyway.  

Chapter 4: Single-Path Attention – Why Planes (and No Wi‑Fi) Help Us Read

There are any number of approaches we can take. In recent episode I describe being on a plane with a book without wifi. We're able to allow our mind to wander about, as opposed to having the internet, hobbies, or other infinite gravity pools pulling, we have the singular path forward for our attention.

Cracking open the book, we can weave back and forth between being and engaging a word here, a sentence there. And sometimes we can even dive deep pretty...

When a language app starts running your day instead of helping you learn, something vital is off. In this episode of Rhythms of Focus, we explore what really helps a wandering mind learn—and where streaks, scores, and mascots quietly get in the way.

We look at why traditional metrics like lesson completion and streak counts so often backfire for adults with ADHD and wandering minds. We then explore how to shift from checkbox-driven learning into a more playful, embodied relationship with language, work, and creative practice. Along the way, we rethink what it means to “make progress” when our real goal is connection, not just completion.

• Redefine success with measures that actually matter to you, like having a warm, real conversation instead of just hitting 80% on a quiz.

• Bring play, feeling, and immersion back into your learning so that words—and work—start to flow instead of fight you.

• Use milestones as gentle trellises rather than rigid rulers, so your attention can grow in its own, more natural rhythm.

This episode also features an original piano composition, “Petty Walk,” a title born from a happy mistake that became its own small act of creative discovery.

If this resonates, we’d love for you to subscribe and visit rhythmsoffocus.com to continue exploring calmer, more humane rhythms of focus.

 If I can speak a single sentence in Spanish without my Cuban mother-in-law looking at me funny, I'll consider it a success. Other reasons for the funny looks notwithstanding.

Meanwhile, I've been using this language app for years now, and I continue to struggle.

Curiously on various forums and subreddits, i've read similar concerns.

Hey, this app is no good. I haven't learned the language yet!

I don't believe though that the trouble was the app. Certainly it's not the be all, end all of education. It is crafted quite well, presents things very nicely, and I speak and understand a heck of a lot better than I did before using it.

So what's the trouble?

When Metrics Backfire – Goodhart’s Law in Everyday Learning

The trouble's, the measure. In studying and work and whatever endeavor we engage in, we'd like to have a way to step forward. Complete this. Do that move from here to there. Whatever it is, some measurement comes into play.

The trouble with measuring, though, is how it can disrupt and sometimes even destroy the very thing we are trying to measure. There's a lovely quote, also known as Goodhart's Law, which says,

"when a measure becomes a target, it ceases to be a good measure."

I would even argue that most of what is meaningful cannot be measured, whether that's about an idea, a diagnosis, a set of symptoms.

But because completion, time, characteristics, these can be measured, they become our default. Whether in learning and communications and our business transactions, we often function through measures.

How much did this make? How much did you do? When will it be done?

Measurements are not bad, but they are tools, and the more powerful the tool, the more caution it requires. When we're not cautious, we don't recognize the potential negative effects, we do so at our own peril. In fact, it may even be abused.

For example, what happens at work when we only check the boxes but do nothing else? We could argue, well, we're getting the work done. What's missing is the spirit, the sense of meaning, what builds from vision and life into a living result, whether product, service, or simply being...

In today’s episode of Rhythms of Focus, we how motivation can seem to slip away when someone else's "should" enters the equation.

Why do wandering minds rebel against orders?

How does honoring our unique mental rhythms restore our sense of agency, especially when ADHD shapes our day to day.

Takeaways:

• Recognize the subtle ways internalized authority undermines our drive—and how to gently reclaim it
• Practice strategies for honoring our past, present, and future selves to smooth task transitions
• Reframe lists and routines as creative allies rather than rigid overseers

This episode features our original contemplative piano piece, “Shallow Breath,” designed to accompany your mindful moments.

Subscribe and join our compassionate community at rhythmsoffocus.com—let’s transform productivity into an art, not a struggle.

#ADHD #WanderingMinds #Agency #MindfulProductivity #Neurodivergent #FocusStrategies #SelfCompassion #CreativeProductivity #TaskTransitions #RhythmsOfFocusTranscript

 I might just might do the dishes now. Oh my goodness, I'm getting up. I'm walking over to the dishes. I'm gonna do it.

Suddenly a voice calls from the other room. Hey, you haven't done the dishes in a while. When are you gonna do them?

Uh, I don't feel like doing them anymore. What just happened?

 Sometimes we're right about to do a thing with our own volition. And somebody else suddenly says, Hey, go do the thing, and suddenly our desire to do it is gone. Our sense of agency was, in a sense, attacked wittingly or otherwise. Our hero already struggling with a want of motivation. Whim, or the muse finally had the winds tickling the sails.

When someone else told them to do the very same thing, the desire was gone. Many of us struggle with being told what to do.

Some blame dopamine. There's not enough. It's outta balance. It isn't interesting or urgent enough. Some make a moral accusation of laziness and the like.

However, when we approach from perspective our ourselves as growing human beings, you might recognize an early template at work. When our environments tell us what to do in this out of tune manner, in some way that doesn't quite recognize where we are, we might reject it.

Clean your room when our minds are elsewhere. When any process of transition is ignored rather than guided, doesn't work, it often creates problems.

The lack of empathy may not have been malicious. It was simply a disengaged approach to a mind that wanders, a mind fueled by, and reveling in play, creativity and discovery.

It may not even have been possible. The transition simply too long in whatever the scope of what needed to happen.

But when these things happen over and over, we absorb this message that our natural mental rhythms are somehow wrong, contrasting with the self that clearly exists, regardless of how wrong we accuse it of being and so we rebel.

Unfortunately, we may internalize the rebellion as well, forming a form of reflex, an unconscious ready path of rejection. We rebel against ourselves. The authority within.

How often have you written, write report, or some similar item on a task list? Only to see it later and then say, well, "not now."

Later. Continues to be later, as later always does, and the task languishes until it sinks below the surface or a deadline threatens from the horizon. We saw our past self as this unempathic authority to reject. When we see the task "do dishes" and the like, our emotions swell reflecting the relationships we've internalized.

Without a simultaneous honoring of our past self, caring for our future selves and respect for our present self, we channel and perpetuate the injuries. Our tasks, lists, and shiny new apps only become the medium.

 Today's piece of music is a quiet, contemplative...

In this episode of 'Rhythms of Focus,' listeners explore the concept of 'trip wires' as a tool for mindfulness and task management. Discover how to set effective reminders for your future self and understand the phenomenon of 'Sticky Decor Decay,' where unaddressed reminders blend into the background over time. Learn actionable strategies to prevent task overwhelm and ensure your reminders stay effective. Plus, enjoy an original piano composition titled 'Humming the End' that underscores the episode's themes. Subscribe and visit rhythmsoffocus.com for more insights tailored for adults with wandering minds and ADHD.

00:00 Sticky Decor Decay

01:37 The Need to Store Intentions

01:58 Trip Wires

03:47 "Sticky Decor Decay"

05:24 SDD as a List

06:19 An Equation Makes Science!?

#ADHD #WanderingMinds #MindfulProductivity #FocusHabits #CreativeAgency #Intentions #SelfCompassion #Neurodivergent #RhythmsOfFocus #PianoMeditation

 I gotta do this and I gotta do that. You know what, I'll just leave this thing over here. Yeah, I'll leave this here to remind myself.

Three months go by.

What the heck is this doing here?

We can't do everything at the same time. The options are many, but the actions need to be singular. We need to take out the garbage, but something just fell to the floor. We need to remember to move a thing to the garage, but right now we're doing the dishes. We need to buy stuff from the store, but right now we're not going to the store.

One means of managing this is to use a trip wire.

 What do I mean by a trip wire? Well, a tripwire is a reminder that we set for our future selves. We have some intention now that we're not done with, we'd like to get to, and so we ask our future self,

"Hey, can you pick this up for me?"

The hope is that future self will then see, hear, feel somehow experience this reminder, then pick up that thing and follow through while our present self does whatever else.

We do this all the time. Maybe we put a grocery list on a sticky note by the door, so we see it as we leave the house. Maybe we leave that book by the nightstand to remind ourselves to read it. Maybe we'll leave a vacuum cleaner out in the morning before leaving to work, to remind ourselves, perhaps optimistically, to vacuum later in the afternoon.

The hope is that we'd be reminded about a thing and then do something in that moment.

This can be a viable strategy. That does apply a certain pressure on our future selves and that they need to not only receive that information, but also then act in that moment acting in a way that aligns with present self, including managing those "I don't wanna feelings" when they receive it.

 Even so it's still not the whole picture. For example, I prepared sandwiches for myself for lunch later in the day, only to leave them on the kitchen table, unrefrigerated, only realized when lunch rolls around.

I partially solved the problem with a trip wire by putting it in a plastic bag and hanging it on the doorknob. But then again, sometimes I still forget. I walk through the door, seemingly only mildly annoyed that there's something hanging on the doorknob, as I walk out,

"I have places to go, things on my mind. That thing in the doorknob, well, I'll deal with that later."

The funny thing about trip wires is that when we don't act on them, they decay. It's not just sandwiches, it's anything. In fact, I've come up with this phrase that's kind of fun to say. It's called "Sticky Decor Decay." Sticky Decor Decay.

It has zero basis in any scientific rigor whatsoever, but I wonder if it might resonate with you, and I'm trying to come up with an equation to describe this. Maybe one that you, dear listeners can help me out with. So if you come up

Discover eight distinct “gears” of focus—stages we moves through, from simply being, to considering, approaching, and ultimately performing at our best. Honoring each gear transforms frustration and procrastination into creative flow and agency. Drawing parallels to music, emotional waves, and mindful play, this episode invites listeners to see hard work not as a battle, but as a dance with emotion, context, and self-compassion.

• Learn to recognize and move through all eight "gears" of focus, from daydreaming to performing

Every episode features an original piano composition—this time, enjoy “On a Dare” in C minor. Subscribe and find more mindful productivity resources at rhythmsoffocus.com—because your rhythm matters more than rigid rules.

#ADHD #WanderingMinds #MindfulProductivity #FocusStrategies #Agency #Creativity #EmotionalWaves #RhythmNotRules #GentleSelfMastery #PianoAndFocus

 Sometimes we could just fall right into a project, pick it up, and bam, we're in it. Even when we hit a bump here and there, we can make it through sailing. Other times, sometimes even with the same project, just on some other day, a sense of revulsion can just emanate from it.

Or maybe we barely consider, it doesn't even come to mind, or maybe we start to ruminate about it. Keeps coming to mind and we think, Ugh, I really have to figure that one out. Meanwhile, the deadline creeps along until it crosses that threshold where we finally kick into gear. In either case, whether we're enjoying something or we're trying to avoid it, we go through many of the same steps, and when we know them, we can start to more deliberately take on the things that are difficult or have that, "I don't wanna" cloud around it.

I in fact, count eight different gears in which we can engage something, what I call eight gears of focus.

Have you ever been on an airplane or some enclosed space? Where you didn't have wifi or minimal distractions, but you do have a book. I imagine somewhere in your life you've been in something of the situation. What happened?

You may well have started to read. Not only that may have even started to get into it and then wondered,

Why can't I always do this?

Somewhere in here you might think you were forced to read 'cause that's all you could do, but I'd suggest that's not really what's happening. In fact, what's happening is that we're supported by the zeroth gear of focus.

There are eight gears of focus that I count starting with this zeroth gear.

When we're good at something, we naturally move back and forth through these gears. Shifting is needed without even thinking about it. Sometimes we support them, sometimes we ignore them and get into a lot of trouble. It's when we get into difficult matters where things really throw us off.

We lose sight of these gears, or we don't even feel them as we naturally progress through them. And that's where we can get into a lot of trouble, like habits that don't take hold and projects that are never followed through.

So today I thought I'd outline these gears.

They're, uh, an important part of the waves of focus course that I've put together for those with wandering minds, ADHD, and beyond. But I think we go through all of these gears, regardless of neurology.

See I have this theory that hard work is emotional work. Complex work requires the management of overwhelm. Even physically threatening work like being a firefighter requires the management of fear. Logic itself is a flow of play through seeking and understanding.

Emotion, and at least the definition I use is that which crests into consciousness, whether by caress or crash.

Our focus is our means of choosing and riding one or some set of these emotional waves that are currently brushing into the hull of conscious awareness. And as these waves continue to

In this episode of "Rhythms of Focus," we consider distraction and stimulation. When our minds wander and the pull of the phone grows strong, we search for stimulation is actually a longing for real meaning and energy in what we do.

Explore how our emotions shape the way we focus and why boredom so often pushes us toward escape. In pausing—noticing our feelings instead of avoiding them—we can find agency. Mindfully, we practice shifting from reactivity to a state where we can choose what feels truly right for each of us.

Takeaways from this episode:

• Recognize what fuels the urge to distract ourselves and how to address it with understanding
• Learn a practical technique for pausing and noticing emotions to unlock a new sense of agency
• Discover how awareness can transform moments of discomfort into opportunities for meaningful action

This episode features our original piano piece, “Prelude to an End,” to help anchor these reflections and support our mindful rhythm.

Subscribe for more supportive conversations, and visit rhythmsoffocus.com to deepen your journey with us.

#ADHD #WanderingMinds #MindfulProductivity #Agency #EmotionalResilience #Creativity #FocusChallenges #Neurodivergent #IntentionalLiving #PianoMusic

  "What if I did my weekly review? Oh, but I just gotta write that report. I'm a nails need clipping. I would rather go and do that. No. How about if I just, uh, yeah. Hopeless. But I think I just need a reset. Let's see what's on Instagram here."

Three hours go by.

"Where did the day go? Oh my goodness, I had so much to do."

    Getting lost in the day. The media politics, both grand and in the family, it's far too easy to lose our bearings. We might blame this sense in ourselves that we need stimulation. Whatever it is we're "supposed to do" is simply not stimulating enough. Might be quite boring, in fact, but what is that craving for stimulation?

The word itself is so bland.

We might say, well, I need something that's shiny or on fire as a client of mine would say. But even these are not enough to describe what this is.

Stimulation, is this stand-in for a sense of vitality. We want to feel alive, some depth of meaning growing somewhere within us. 

All right, so how is that related to this infinite scrolling on our phones? Well, any number of emotions get touched off. Humor connects because it draws attention to something we haven't considered. Some surprise and discovery, some edge of society. Fear connects because it tells us to look over here at the risk of peril. Sex connects because the creative spirit in lust is just that powerful, this massive momentum carrying us through the ages.

All of these emotions connect to some sense of meaning within ourselves.

So how can a report possibly compete? We need stimulation again because we need something to feel real.

Alright, so what the heck does this have to do with any form of productivity in whatever shape or form? Well, when we can acknowledge that the so-called need for stimulation is more truly about some need to feel alive, we can find a new direction.

For example, let's say we're able in some rare moment to catch ourselves scrolling through the phone, wonder to ourselves, well, what am I doing? The initial impulse might be to say, how do I avoid this? How do I get out of this phone?

Well, I'll try to do nothing. Well, that rarely works. Nature of which our minds are apart abhors a vacuum. That phone is easily reached for once again, the unconscious forces are powerful, much more so than that blip of consciousness with which we sail our lives and we ignore that power at our own peril.

It's all too easy to just find ourselves in the phone, not realizing we were there. Another impulse might be,

I'll try to do something. Anything else!

Sometimes...

Feeling stuck—where even the simplest task feels too heavy to lift? In this episode, instead of chasing rigid productivity, listeners will discover the subtle art of finding ease within challenge, tuning into the rhythms of play, and learning how to gently move forward even when motivation wanes.

Listeners will learn:

• How play, frustration, and challenge intertwine, illuminating gentler ways forward
• Practical methods to surface and honor emotions that hinder focus, catalyzing growth through compassion

Takeaways:

• Pause to reflect deeply before acting, creating space for authentic decisions
• Shrink tasks down to their smallest steps, inviting ease rather than pressure
• Channel rhythms of natural play into even the most stubborn work moments

This episode features a performance of Scott Joplin's Maple Leaf Rag. Subscribe and join our growing community at rhythmsoffocus.com—where wandering minds thrive along waves of agency and creativity.

#ADHD #WanderingMinds #Agency #Mindfulness #GentleProductivity #PlayfulFocus #EmotionalEase #CreativeFlow #CompassionateGrowth #MicroActions

  All right. Let's see what I've got on my list here to do today. All right. Uh, visit the gym. Are you kidding me?

 Sometimes the simplest things can feel like the heaviest weights. The simpler they are, the more paradoxically we "can't be bothered."

Head to the garage, show up to the dishes, open the report- all of these can come with a wave of revulsion.

How could we ever move forward?

I often and continue to espouse a "visit" as a powerful unit of work. This idea of showing up to something or bringing it to ourselves and staying there for one single deep breath, and then making a decision as to what we wanna do, whether walk away or into the work.

It is a powerful unit of work, but even so, it might still be too difficult to make it there, even with this idea of not having to do a thing.

What then? I imagine there have been times that you've been here. Maybe someone kept bugging you, maybe a due date crept along far enough, or just yelled at yourself into this sort of painful, "just start" and you finally started going.

But there are gentler paths and you may well have done those too.

Take for example, how we already act when we are in play. When we enjoy something naturally, we might bump into frustrations, take stock of where we are, slow down, break things down, simplify things, find some ease once again, and finally return with that ease back into challenge. Dynamically, we tune to the windows of challenge for where we are in that moment.

We find those places that are not so easy to be boring and not so intense as to be overwhelming.

We can adapt the same process to difficult work, hard work, something we can also call emotional work, only by bringing the process to consciousness. The first and perhaps most important step is to pause, where we reflect without reacting, where we can connect to that deeper sense of self. It gives us that space to decide:

" Maybe this isn't even a thing that is meaningful for me at all."

But if we do decide to move forward. We can also sense in that pause where we rest in those emotions that we discover something hidden in the words that we've been using. The sort of, "I just don't wanna" sort of phrase, we might be saying to ourselves, we can discover this deep, complex, emotional world beneath those words.

In that pause, we might see one such emotion that's contributing that of let's say, exhaustion. This consequence of repeated hits to our sense of agency, dropping, losing, forgetting things. We lose the sense of capability. Any attempt risks yet another injury as a fear of true inability would rear its ugly head in these clouds, choking us into collapse.

Fully engaging these emotions, maybe even...