Your teen’s brain isn’t broken, and you’re not doing everything wrong.

If you’ve ever wondered why your teen seems to tune you out, this mini episode is for you. “How do I get my teenager to listen to me?” is one of the questions I hear most from parents, and the answer usually isn’t about what we’re saying. It’s about when we’re saying it, how often we’re saying it, and whether there’s enough connection in the relationship for the message to land.

I’m walking you through four simple steps to help your teen start hearing you again. They’re simple, but simple doesn’t always mean easy, so stick with me.

Here’s what we cover:

• Why trying to reason with a teen who’s already upset is like sending an email to someone whose Wi-Fi is down, and what to say instead
• The 5-to-1 ratio from Dr. John Gottman, and a one-day challenge to see where your own ratio lands (no judgment, just noticing)
• Why connection with teens happens “sideways,” in the car, over dinner prep, on a walk, or in those late-night chats when you’re ready to fall asleep
• How showing up for what matters to your teen, even when it doesn’t matter to you, builds the trust that makes your words carry more weight
• What individuation is, and why your teen can ignore your advice a hundred times and then love hearing the exact same thing from a coach, teacher, or another trusted adult

This episode is for any parent who feels like their words are bouncing off and wants a simple, doable place to start.

Work with me:

If you think your teen could benefit from having a coach in their corner, I’d love to talk with you. I offer two 12-week, one-on-one coaching programs focused on confidence, mindset, managing big emotions, and connecting with their own purpose and passions:

• Ignite: for younger teens ages 12 to 14
• Rise Up: for teens and young adults ages 15 to 24

Book a free call with me: https://link.guided-passages.com/widget/bookings/ignite-rise-up-discovery-call

I highly recommend bringing your teen or young adult to the call, and teens who join get a $5 Starbucks or Dutch Bros gift card just for showing up. No pressure and no commitment, it’s just a chance for them to meet me and feel it out for themselves.

Free talking points and scripts to help you introduce the idea of coaching to your teen before the call: https://acrobat.adobe.com/id/urn:aaid:sc:us:6830be36-04e6-45d1-919c-367756236db1

Connect with me:
Instagram: @jasmyne.guidedpassages
Email: jasmyne@guided-passages.com
🔗 https://guided-passages.com/

What if your teen's brain is running an algorithm, and they're the one feeding it?

I've watched so many teens get stuck in the same patterns: the teen who decides she's "bad at math" and then finds proof on every test, or the teen who's sure nobody likes him and reads every awkward hallway moment as evidence. I've lived it myself, too. For a long time my lens on life was "it's hard, you have to grind, nothing comes easy," and it showed up everywhere, from how I felt to how I parented. Ten years later my life looks completely different, and a big part of that was learning how much of my experience is shaped by where I put my focus.

In this episode, I'm breaking down three ideas people have been teaching for a long time (the law of neutrality, the law of assumption, and the law of attraction), plus the real brain science that helps explain why they work. And I'm leaving you with a simple, research-backed tool called WOOP that you can try with your teen this week. (It works for us grown-ups too.)

To be really clear, this isn't about telling your teen to think positive and ignore what hurts. Hard things are hard. This is about helping them see they have more say in their experience than they realize.

Here's what we cover:

• Why I think of the "personal algorithm" as the perfect way to explain this to teens, since they already know how their feeds learn what they like
• The reticular activating system (RAS) and why you suddenly see that new car everywhere once you start thinking about buying one
• Neuroplasticity, and why the teenage brain is such fertile ground for building helpful thought patterns
• The law of neutrality, and what a text that goes unanswered for three hours can teach us about the stories we tell ourselves
• The law of assumption, and how a casual "I'm bad at math" can quietly become a self-fulfilling prophecy
• The law of attraction, including a simple morning at the hospital that showed me how much a focus on the good can change an ordinary errand
• How to use these ideas with your teen at home, starting with three simple questions you can ask this week

And here's the tool I'm sending you off with, WOOP, developed by NYU psychologist Gabriele Oettingen after 20+ years of research:

1. Wish: something challenging but possible, with a time frame
2. Outcome: picture the best result in detail and how it would feel
3. Obstacle: name the inner obstacle (a fear, habit, belief, or feeling) that could get in the way
4. Plan: make an if-then plan for when that obstacle shows up

It takes about five to ten minutes, and I walk through a real-life example of a teen who wants to speak up more in class.

This episode is for any parent who wants to help their teen (and themselves) stop reacting to life and start shaping how they experience it.

Resources mentioned:
WOOP, free app and resources: woopmylife.org

Work with me:
I offer 12-week coaching programs for teens to help them step into confidence, motivation, and purpose, plus a Parents of Teens coaching circle and community with twice-monthly coaching calls and a monthly workshop. Reach out anytime, I'm here for you.

Connect with me:
Instagram: @jasmyne.guidedpassages
Email: jasmyne@guided-passages.com
🔗 https://guided-passages.com/

I don't think parenting teenagers has to be our hardest season. I actually think it can be our best one, the season where our relationship with our kid really solidifies right before they launch into adulthood. In today's episode, I'm walking you through 10 steps to build a stronger connection with your teenager, pulled from my coaching program and a blog post I wrote on the same topic, with some personal stories mixed in along the way.

The big idea underneath all 10 steps: connection isn't about what your teen is doing, it's about how you're showing up. And I find that so empowering, because it means we have way more influence here than it feels like in the hard moments.

Here's what we cover:

• Why showing care every single day, even on the hard days, plants a seed that builds long-term emotional safety
• The 5-to-1 ratio (from the research of Dr. John Gottman and Daniel Goleman) and why our positive interactions need to far outweigh the negative ones
• Why focusing on what I can actually control, myself, is the real lever for change, even when my teen is pushing every button
• Why consistency matters more than length when it comes to making time for real connection
• How staying steady, even when my teen is testing limits hard, builds a trust that lasts
• Why offering respect, even when it doesn't feel earned yet, changes how open my teen is with me
• How practicing the pause helps me model regulation instead of adding fuel to the fire
• Why picking my battles protects my emotional bandwidth and our relationship
• The power of seeing and naming the good, and why what I focus on in my teen is often what they start to believe about themselves
• How letting playfulness lighten the mood can repair a tense moment faster than any lecture ever could

This episode is for any parent who wants a real, practical starting point for closing the distance with their teen, one small, everyday moment at a time.

Connect with me:
Instagram: @jasmyne.guidedpassages
🔗 https://guided-passages.com/

In today's episode, I'm sharing a conversation where I was the one in the guest chair on Parenting Shrink Wrapped with Samantha Straub, licensed clinical counselor and parenting coach, and Dr. Melissa Wellner, double board certified psychiatrist and child and adolescent psychiatrist. We talk about my own rites of passage story, what happens on our Guided Passages trips, and how teens build real confidence by doing hard things.

In This Episode, You'll Hear:

• How a rites of passage trip at 19 changed the direction of my life
• What happens in council, on solo, and at our Welcome Home Ceremony
• Why confidence comes from doing hard things rather than hearing compliments
• The self-hate, comparison, and negative self-talk so many teens are carrying
• How teens create their own risky rites of passage when adults don't offer safe ones

Resources Mentioned:

• Episode 52 with Samantha Straub and Dr. Melissa Wellner: Discipline vs. Punishment and Why Punishment Doesn't Work for Teens [link]
• Parenting Shrink Wrapped podcast

Work With Me:

I'm offering wilderness rites of passage trips, one-on-one virtual coaching for teens and young adults ages 12 to 24, and the Parents of Teens Rising Coaching Circle for parents who want support on this journey.

• Website: guided-passages.com
• Instagram: @jasmyne.guidedpassages

Would you let your teenager get behind the wheel of a car with zero lessons and no permit? That's basically what we do with smartphones, and today's guest is here to change that.

I'm joined by Jennifer Berger, founder and executive director of the nonprofit Ready Set Screen, and honestly, this is the conversation I wish I'd had access to when my own kids were still preteens. Jennifer has spent 20 years as a media literacy educator, and has worked directly with more than 10,000 preteens and teens, with 95% of them reporting real improvements in their mental health and self-esteem afterward. Her organization recently launched its flagship program, the Social Media Driver's License, and we get into exactly what that is and why she built it that way.

If you've ever felt torn between wanting to protect your kid from their phone and knowing you can't realistically keep them off it forever, this conversation is going to feel like a deep breath.

We get into a lot, including:

• Why Jennifer thinks of preparing kids for social media the same way we prepare them to drive a car, and why "the driver's license" metaphor just makes sense
• Her honest take on monitoring apps and reading your teen's texts, and why she compares heavy monitoring to restrictive dieting
• What she actually says to parents who are worried something serious might be going on with their teen online
• How the course handles harder topics like AI, porn, and online strangers without over-scaring or under-preparing kids
• Why shame, even over something as small as an accidental Google search, is one of the biggest things getting in the way of kids talking to us
• Why the research on phones and mental health is messier than people think, and how Jennifer still landed on taking action anyway
• The reality that "just delay it" isn't always realistic when a kid's entire social world is already online
• Why teaching kids to simply question what they're seeing, who made it and why, can change how they feel about themselves almost immediately

I really loved this one, and I think you will too. Jennifer's approach isn't about fear, it's about equipping your kid to actually think for themselves out there.

About Jennifer Berger:
Jennifer Berger has been a media literacy educator for 20 years. She's helped more than 10,000 preteens and teens learn to question the messages they receive through media, with 95% reporting improvements in indicators of their mental health and self-esteem. Jennifer is the founder and executive director of the nonprofit Ready Set Screen, based in San Francisco, and recently launched its flagship program, the Social Media Driver's License.

Connect with Jennifer & Ready Set Screen:
Website: www.readysetscreen.org
Instagram, YouTube, Facebook, LinkedIn & TikTok: @readysetscreen

The Social Media Driver's License is available now to families: socialmediadriverslicense.org

Free Sample of the Social Media Driver's License: https://courses.socialmediadriverslicense.org/sign-up

More media literacy resources Jennifer mentioned:
National Association for Media Literacy Education: namle.org | YouTube
MediaWise: www.mediawise.org | YouTube
American Academy of Pediatrics Center of Excellence on Social Media and Youth Mental Health: aap.org

Connect with Jasmyne:
Instagram: @jasmyne.guidedpassages
🔗 https://guided-passages.com/

In today's episode, I'm talking about how to help your teen open back up if things have felt shut down lately and you want to be the one they turn to again.

Here's what we cover:

• The most common reasons teens pull away, including overwhelm, fear of judgment, their biological drive toward independence, and broken trust
• Why age 13 tends to be the peak of the pulling-away phase, and why that's actually a good sign developmentally
• Why forcing a conversation almost always backfires, and what to do instead

Plus, five strategies you can start using today to help your teen open back up:

1. Respect their space without disappearing
2. Rebuild trust by owning your reactions
3. Listen without trying to fix everything
4. Build connection in everyday moments
5. Choose collaboration over control

This episode is for any parent who wants their teen to come to them when things get hard, not just when they have to.

📘 Free Guide: 10 Steps to Build More Connection with Your Teenager https://youth.guided-passages.com/connect-to-your-teen-freebie

Want more support? Join Parents of Teens Rising, my monthly parent coaching community, for live coaching circles, monthly workshops, and weekly voice notes for just $24/month. Parents of Teens Rising Coaching Circle

Connect with Jasmyne:
Instagram: @jasmyne.guidedpassages
🔗 https://guided-passages.com/

If your teen freezes up before school, avoids social situations, or spirals into what-if thinking, this episode is for you. I'm walking you through what's really happening beneath your teen's anxiety and why pep talks and reassurance so often fall flat.

We'll cover why some teens' alarm systems run louder than others, how the pandemic disrupted key years of social practice, why LGBTQIA+ and marginalized teens carry an extra layer of anxiety, and the data behind what's become a national trend. And we'll get into the first grounding principle that changes how you support your teen: anxiety is a body-first experience, not a logic problem.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• Why you can't reason your teen out of anxiety
• How the amygdala and prefrontal cortex shape your teen's response to stress
• The difference between functional worry and concerning anxiety
• What the latest CDC and Trevor Project data tell us about teen anxiety rates
• Why body-based tools like breathing and grounding come before any thinking tool

Resources mentioned:

• The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt
• Under Pressure by Lisa Damour
• CDC data on anxiety disorders in children and teens
• The Trevor Project's 2024 National Survey on LGBTQ+ Youth Mental Health

Get the freebie: 5 Steps to Help Your Anxious Teen a free guide with practical steps you can start using with your teen today.

Connect with Jasmyne:

Instagram: jasmyne.guidedpassages

Website: https://guided-passages.com

In today's episode I'm sharing something a little different, a more personal and vulnerable episode than usual. Life has been hitting hard lately, both in my own world and in the world around us, and instead of showing up with tips and strategies like I normally do, I wanted to be honest about what it actually looks like to navigate hard seasons as a parent. I have a feeling a lot of you are carrying something heavy right now too.

Here's what we cover:

• Why letting our kids face hard, uncomfortable transitions, even when every instinct tells us to rescue them, is often exactly what they need
• Holding grief and big life transitions at the same time, and what that's taught me about staying present for my family while still being human
• Why it's okay, and even important, for our kids to see that we don't always have it all together

Plus, the tools that are helping me stay grounded through hard seasons, and might help you too:

1. Allow yourself to actually feel it
2. Use your regulation tools (breath work, movement, pausing before reacting)
3. Practice real self-compassion
4. Prioritize joy and gratitude, even in hard seasons
5. Lean into creativity as an antidote to anxiety
6. Find and stay in community
7. Commit to small, consistent micro actions
8. Tell your kids the truth, in an age-appropriate way

This episode is for any parent feeling the weight of things right now, personally or in the world around them, who needs a reminder that they're not alone in it.

Connect with Jasmyne:
Instagram: @jasmyne.guidedpassages
🔗 https://guided-passages.com/