What if your teen's brain is running an algorithm, and they're the one feeding it?

I've watched so many teens get stuck in the same patterns: the teen who decides she's "bad at math" and then finds proof on every test, or the teen who's sure nobody likes him and reads every awkward hallway moment as evidence. I've lived it myself, too. For a long time my lens on life was "it's hard, you have to grind, nothing comes easy," and it showed up everywhere, from how I felt to how I parented. Ten years later my life looks completely different, and a big part of that was learning how much of my experience is shaped by where I put my focus.

In this episode, I'm breaking down three ideas people have been teaching for a long time (the law of neutrality, the law of assumption, and the law of attraction), plus the real brain science that helps explain why they work. And I'm leaving you with a simple, research-backed tool called WOOP that you can try with your teen this week. (It works for us grown-ups too.)

To be really clear, this isn't about telling your teen to think positive and ignore what hurts. Hard things are hard. This is about helping them see they have more say in their experience than they realize.

Here's what we cover:

• Why I think of the "personal algorithm" as the perfect way to explain this to teens, since they already know how their feeds learn what they like
• The reticular activating system (RAS) and why you suddenly see that new car everywhere once you start thinking about buying one
• Neuroplasticity, and why the teenage brain is such fertile ground for building helpful thought patterns
• The law of neutrality, and what a text that goes unanswered for three hours can teach us about the stories we tell ourselves
• The law of assumption, and how a casual "I'm bad at math" can quietly become a self-fulfilling prophecy
• The law of attraction, including a simple morning at the hospital that showed me how much a focus on the good can change an ordinary errand
• How to use these ideas with your teen at home, starting with three simple questions you can ask this week

And here's the tool I'm sending you off with, WOOP, developed by NYU psychologist Gabriele Oettingen after 20+ years of research:

1. Wish: something challenging but possible, with a time frame
2. Outcome: picture the best result in detail and how it would feel
3. Obstacle: name the inner obstacle (a fear, habit, belief, or feeling) that could get in the way
4. Plan: make an if-then plan for when that obstacle shows up

It takes about five to ten minutes, and I walk through a real-life example of a teen who wants to speak up more in class.

This episode is for any parent who wants to help their teen (and themselves) stop reacting to life and start shaping how they experience it.

Resources mentioned:
WOOP, free app and resources: woopmylife.org

Work with me:
I offer 12-week coaching programs for teens to help them step into confidence, motivation, and purpose, plus a Parents of Teens coaching circle and community with twice-monthly coaching calls and a monthly workshop. Reach out anytime, I'm here for you.

Connect with me:
Instagram: @jasmyne.guidedpassages
Email: jasmyne@guided-passages.com
🔗 https://guided-passages.com/

I don't think parenting teenagers has to be our hardest season. I actually think it can be our best one, the season where our relationship with our kid really solidifies right before they launch into adulthood. In today's episode, I'm walking you through 10 steps to build a stronger connection with your teenager, pulled from my coaching program and a blog post I wrote on the same topic, with some personal stories mixed in along the way.

The big idea underneath all 10 steps: connection isn't about what your teen is doing, it's about how you're showing up. And I find that so empowering, because it means we have way more influence here than it feels like in the hard moments.

Here's what we cover:

• Why showing care every single day, even on the hard days, plants a seed that builds long-term emotional safety
• The 5-to-1 ratio (from the research of Dr. John Gottman and Daniel Goleman) and why our positive interactions need to far outweigh the negative ones
• Why focusing on what I can actually control, myself, is the real lever for change, even when my teen is pushing every button
• Why consistency matters more than length when it comes to making time for real connection
• How staying steady, even when my teen is testing limits hard, builds a trust that lasts
• Why offering respect, even when it doesn't feel earned yet, changes how open my teen is with me
• How practicing the pause helps me model regulation instead of adding fuel to the fire
• Why picking my battles protects my emotional bandwidth and our relationship
• The power of seeing and naming the good, and why what I focus on in my teen is often what they start to believe about themselves
• How letting playfulness lighten the mood can repair a tense moment faster than any lecture ever could

This episode is for any parent who wants a real, practical starting point for closing the distance with their teen, one small, everyday moment at a time.

Connect with me:
Instagram: @jasmyne.guidedpassages
🔗 https://guided-passages.com/

In today's episode, I'm sharing a conversation where I was the one in the guest chair on Parenting Shrink Wrapped with Samantha Straub, licensed clinical counselor and parenting coach, and Dr. Melissa Wellner, double board certified psychiatrist and child and adolescent psychiatrist. We talk about my own rites of passage story, what happens on our Guided Passages trips, and how teens build real confidence by doing hard things.

In This Episode, You'll Hear:

• How a rites of passage trip at 19 changed the direction of my life
• What happens in council, on solo, and at our Welcome Home Ceremony
• Why confidence comes from doing hard things rather than hearing compliments
• The self-hate, comparison, and negative self-talk so many teens are carrying
• How teens create their own risky rites of passage when adults don't offer safe ones

Resources Mentioned:

• Episode 52 with Samantha Straub and Dr. Melissa Wellner: Discipline vs. Punishment and Why Punishment Doesn't Work for Teens [link]
• Parenting Shrink Wrapped podcast

Work With Me:

I'm offering wilderness rites of passage trips, one-on-one virtual coaching for teens and young adults ages 12 to 24, and the Parents of Teens Rising Coaching Circle for parents who want support on this journey.

• Website: guided-passages.com
• Instagram: @jasmyne.guidedpassages