In this episode, I break down what respect really looks like during adolescence, why it matters so deeply, and how we can lead our teens with both firmness and dignity.

When teens feel dismissed, talked down to, or controlled, their brains go into defense mode. But when they feel respected, they’re far more likely to stay open, honest, and cooperative even when the conversation is hard.

So often, we fall into the mindset that respect is something our teen has to earn. But the truth is, with teenagers, respect is often the fastest way to rebuild connection and increase influence.

Here’s what we’ll explore:

• Why respect is the foundation of connection and influence
• How subtle disrespect leads to resistance and shutdown
• Why teens are neurologically wired to care about dignity and status
• The “high expectations + high support” approach from researcher David Yeager
• Why collaboration beats control when setting boundaries
• What teens notice most about respect at school and at home
• How modeling respect is the quickest way to receive it back
• Why repair after conflict builds trust faster than perfection
• One of the most respectful parenting shifts: not rushing in to fix, correct, or advise

Free Support for Parents:

Teen Confidence Breakthrough Workshop (Free Live Training)
📅 Tuesday, Feb 24th at 10am Pacific
🔗 youth.guided-passages.com/workshop

Rites of Passage Trips Info Session
📅 Wednesday, March 18th at 6pm Pacific
🔗 youth.guided-passages.com/wilderness

If this episode helped you, please leave a 5-star review, subscribe, and send me a DM with your biggest takeaway!

I’m sharing a simple but powerful shift that can completely change your relationship with your teenager: learning what’s actually in your control and what isn’t.

When your teen is shutting down, acting out, bringing attitude home, or struggling with motivation, it’s so easy to fall into the trap of trying to control their behavior in the heat of the moment. But the truth is, the more we try to control what we can’t, the more disconnected and overwhelmed we feel.

In this conversation, I break down how focusing on your own response instead of your teen’s emotions is where your real influence and leadership live.

This episode is for parents navigating:

1. Teen attitude and disrespect
2. Emotional meltdowns and big feelings
3. Power struggles and constant conflict
4. Motivation and follow-through challenges
5. Setting boundaries without yelling or nagging

We’ll discuss the Circle of Control (inspired by Stephen Covey), the power of co-regulation, and what it truly means to “Let Them” (from Mel Robbins) without letting everything slide.

If you’ve been feeling stuck, reactive, or exhausted, this episode will remind you that the most powerful thing you can do is return to what you can control: your own nervous system, your boundaries, and your next move.

Want Support Beyond the Podcast?

You don’t have to do this alone.

If you're looking for more tools, guidance, and a supportive community of parents raising teens with connection and calm boundaries, join me in my Parents of Teens Rising Circle

And if this episode resonated with you, I’d love to hear your takeaway.

Send me a DM on Instagram or share this episode with a parent friend who needs the reminder.

In this episode, I’m breaking down school avoidance and school refusal in teens, including why it’s on the rise, what’s happening underneath the behavior, and practical, compassionate ways parents can support their teen without escalating conflict.

If your teen is melting down in the mornings, complaining of feeling sick, shutting down, or outright refusing to go to school, this episode will help you understand what’s driving the behavior and how to move forward without shame or fear.

In this episode, I cover:

• What school avoidance and school refusal really mean (and why it’s not laziness)
• The main drivers: anxiety, social stress, academic overwhelm, and burnout
• Why morning power struggles make avoidance worse
• A clear 3-step plan: calm, clarify, and coordinate
• How to support your teen without reinforcing avoidance
• Dr. Lisa Damour’s shame-free “compulsory buffet” reframe
• Practical ways to make school more manageable without lowering expectations

If your teen is struggling with anxiety or school avoidance, get support through my Rise Up and Ignite coaching programs to help them build confidence, take action, and thrive.

✅ Book a free discovery call to learn more and see if Rise or Ignite is a fit.

Sources Referenced in This Episode

1. Stony Brook Medicine – “What is School Avoidance and School Refusal? A Parent’s Guide” (Aug 1, 2025)
2. Kids Mental Health Foundation – “New Survey Reveals Top Reasons Why Kids Avoid Going to School” (Press Release)
3. Children’s Hospital Colorado – “Treating School Refusal in Youth” (Primary Care Article)
4. Children’s Hospital Colorado – “How to Handle School Refusal” (Just Ask Children’s)
5. TIME Magazine – Lisa Damour, “How to Help Teenagers Stay Motivated at School” (Mar 8, 2023)
6. Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA) – “4 Strategies When Your Child Refuses to Go to School” (Sep 19, 2024)