In this episode, I'm joined by Susan, a 45-year-old widow with four adult children and one grandson. In her home during the 20+ years of marriage, she experienced verbal and emotional abuse as well as physical abuse from time to time. The insecurities in her life left her feeling ugly and worthless, and she was convinced she may never be happy again in life. During a rebellious season, she made terrible choices, but now she can say the Lord has forgiven and redeemed her. She now leads women in bible study as she knows her purpose in life is to help married women avoid falling into the same patterns she fell into, which led to a very dark and wicked road leading to eternal separation from God.

Today, Susan shares the raw and vulnerable details of her over 20-year marriage. Despite the turmoil, she remained committed until the mistreatment caused her to become numb and seek companionship elsewhere, having an affair that ate her up with guilt. She provides a firsthand account of the challenging dynamics, including her husband's initial attempts to change through counselling and her decision to ultimately leave him for another man before the Holy Spirit convinced her to return and try rebuilding her marriage. She painfully recounts the process of confessing her infidelity, her husband's shocking forgiveness, and their journey to finally restore the relationship before his tragic passing, leaving her to find purpose in leading other women through the patterns that once entrapped her.

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[00:54] Susan's background

[02:21] How Susan met her husband and the early years of their marriage

[08:51] Dealing with her husband's childhood trauma and negativity

[13:19] Susan’s recognition of the different forms of abuse in her marriage

[24:40] Why Susan decided to separate from her husband

[27:32] The complexity of moral dilemmas and personal choices within relationships

[31:36] The internal conflict of desire, deception, and moral conscience in infidelity

[33:00] Susan's initial decision to work on her marriage after separating

[44:28] Susan's husband's reaction after confessing her infidelity

[53:40] Susan's journey to restore her marriage after infidelity

[54:55] Finding love again after her husband's passing

[01:01:50] The importance of healing before entering a new relationship

• I know the devil is real. I know that I know we live in a very evil world, but I know just how deceiving the devil can be because the man I met was exactly the man I wanted my husband to be.
• I never felt so much love and quickly fell in love with him. Yeah. Because I never, I don't wanna say I never felt it. 'cause I know my husband loved me, but it didn't, it wasn't tainted.
• You need to do what you need to do to restore your marriage and allow God to restore it.
• I guess just that voice that you hear inside Yeah. Is the Holy Spirit. You know, and don't quench the Holy Spirit.

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BOOKS & JOURNALS: https://www.amazon.com/author/laurarichards

Mending the Soul workbook/class by Author: Celestia G. Tracy https://a.co/d/8NS00IH