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That's Where I'm At

That's Where I'm At

Di: Laura Richards
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A proposito di questo titolo

 Welcome to "That's Where I'm At" with your host, Laura Richards! Join Laura Richards, a survivor of narcissistic abuse with 33 years experience, as she guides you through the journey of identifying, healing from, and thriving after emotional and psychological abuse. With a mission to raise awareness, foster emotional recovery, and empower you to love yourself, Laura brings honesty, compassion, and a touch of humor to every episode. Dive into deep, meaningful conversations, tackle tough topics, and uncover moments of hope and healing. Our supportive community is here for you, offering insights, support, and a shared path to recovery and empowerment. Subscribe now and be part of a transformative journey that's messy, real, and truly inspiring!2023 Igiene e vita sana Psicologia Psicologia e salute mentale Successo personale Sviluppo personale
Episodi
  • EP 81: Unmasking the Traitor Within with Jessica Anne Pressler: Healing from Generations of Abuse

    EP 81: Unmasking the Traitor Within with Jessica Anne Pressler: Healing from Generations of Abuse
    May 13 2026
    In this episode of That's Where I'm At, host Laura interviews Jessica Anne Pressler, LCSW, a Columbia University-trained psychotherapist, host of Your Traitor Within, and emerging author dedicated to helping people heal from narcissistic abuse, trauma, grief, and self-sabotage. Drawing from both four decades of professional expertise and her own personal experiences navigating difficult relationships, Jessica has become a sought-after mental health expert, advocate, and voice for healing and self-discovery. Through her podcast, upcoming book Traitor Within, and her Your Traitor Within Journal featuring 365 healing prompts, Jessica helps people uncover and heal the inner voice shaped by trauma that keeps them stuck in destructive patterns. Despite her professional background, Jessica survived three toxic marriages before finding a healthy fourth. In this conversation, she explains her concept of the "traitor within" — an inner voice formed through childhood wounds and painful experiences that can lead to self-betrayal in relationships. Together, Laura and Jessica discuss gaslighting, betrayal blindness, trauma bonds, and the deep grief that comes with leaving abuse. Jessica emphasizes that healing requires self-awareness, proper support, and reconnecting with one's authentic identity, offering hope that it is never too late to break harmful cycles and create healthier relationships. Key Topics & Timestamps Guest Introduction: Jessica Ann Pressler (00:01:20) Laura introduces her guest, Jessica Ann Pressler, a psychotherapist and author who experienced three toxic marriages. Jessica's Professional and Personal Journey (00:04:03) Jessica discusses her career as a psychotherapist while simultaneously navigating a series of dysfunctional relationships and four marriages. Childhood Roots of Relationship Patterns (00:07:04) Jessica explains how her childhood, marked by narcissism and dysfunction, taught her to ignore bad behavior to feel safe. Betrayal Blindness and Trauma Bonds (00:10:07) The conversation covers betrayal blindness, trauma bonds, and the cognitive dissonance that keeps people in abusive relationships. The Slow Progression of Abuse (00:14:22) Jessica and Laura discuss how psychological abuse happens slowly over time, making it difficult to recognize. The Pain of Gaslighting and Blame (00:16:45) Jessica shares her experience with suicidal ideation due to the intense pain of being blamed for relationship problems. Finding the Right (and Wrong) Therapist (00:19:08) The importance of finding a trauma-informed therapist is discussed, highlighting how the wrong therapist can reinforce the abuser's narrative. The Narcissist's Public Persona (00:21:53) They discuss how covert narcissists present a charming public image while being abusive behind closed doors. The "Traitor Within" Concept Explained (00:24:58) Jessica introduces her concept of the "traitor within," a coping mechanism learned in childhood to feel safe. Abandoning Yourself to Avoid Abandonment (00:31:26) Jessica explains how the "traitor within" prioritizes avoiding abandonment at any cost, even if it means abandoning yourself. Losing Your Identity in a Toxic Relationship (00:33:46) The speakers discuss being so hyper-focused on the toxic partner that you lose your own sense of self and identity. Grieving the End of a Relationship (00:36:24) Jessica explains the grief that comes with ending a relationship, even a toxic one, including grieving lost time. The Importance of Taking Time to Heal (00:38:00) Jessica shares how she finally took two years between relationships to do the work and heal from her patterns. Weaponizing Vulnerability (00:41:03) The speakers discuss the cruelty of an abusive partner using your vulnerabilities and personal secrets against you. Jessica's Current Work and Resources (00:45:14) Jessica details her current projects, including her book, podcast, and blogs, which provide free educational resources for others. Finding Hope and Authenticity After Abuse (00:48:04) Jessica concludes by sharing that it's never too late to find happiness and live an authentic life. Powerful Quotes from the Episode Jessica, 'If a person like me who's trained and helping other people could have repetitive dysfunctional behavior, I kept going from one toxic, narcissistic relationship to another and not recognizing it when I'm in it.'. Jessica, 'I didn't see a way out. I was in so much pain for feeling at fault for ruining a relationship.'. Jessica 'I was terrified to be abandoned. It didn't matter how poorly they may have treated me, because feeling abandoned was worse than being abused.'. Jessica, 'Every time that she was trying to help me not be abandoned, I was abandoning myself.'. Jessica, 'It's never too late. I was 50-something when I came to California, which was a dream. You don't have to find a man to be whole.'. RESOURCES: COACH WITH LAURA: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/...
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    49 min
  • EP 80: When Love Becomes a Prison with Dana Diaz: The Complex Reality of Living with a Covert Narcissist

    EP 80: When Love Becomes a Prison with Dana Diaz: The Complex Reality of Living with a Covert Narcissist
    May 6 2026
    In this episode of That's Where I'm At, host Laura welcomes Dana S. Diaz, a bestselling, award-winning author, keynote speaker, and survivor of narcissistic abuse. Dana shares her powerful story of escaping a 25-year marriage to a covert narcissist, offering a deeply honest look into the realities of long-term psychological abuse. After enduring abuse in both childhood and marriage, Dana refused to stay a victim and now uses her voice to help others break free. Featured on nearly 300 podcasts worldwide, she blends raw truth with neuroscience-backed insight to expose the patterns that keep people stuck and guide survivors toward lasting healing and empowerment. In this conversation, Dana and Laura unpack the complexities of narcissistic abuse, trauma bonding, and the physical toll of chronic stress caused by prolonged trauma. Dana also highlights the challenges victims face when leaving abusive relationships and the importance of recognizing manipulation tactics like gaslighting. Despite the pain of her journey, Dana's story is one of resilience, transformation, and hope—reminding listeners that they are not alone and that healing is always possible. Key Topics & Timestamps How Dana's Work Began (00:03:21) Dana explains her work started from a hidden journal she kept while trapped with her abusive husband during COVID. Life with a Narcissist (00:04:33) Dana describes the isolation and control she experienced, including having no smartphone and being accused of cheating. The Pandemic's Impact (00:05:52) The speakers discuss how the pandemic lockdown intensified domestic abuse situations, trapping victims at home with their abusers. Red Flags of Abuse (00:07:45) Laura highlights red flags from Dana's story, such as isolation, control over technology, and financial entitlement from the abuser. The Trauma Bond Explained (00:09:18) The conversation covers trauma bonding, explaining how victims become chemically bonded to their abusers, making it difficult to leave. Dana's Traumatic Childhood (00:10:13) Dana shares her history of being unwanted by her mother and abused by her overtly narcissistic stepfather. From One Abuser to Another (00:13:17) Dana explains how her childhood primed her to fall for her future husband, who offered the attention she craved. The Cycle of Abuse and Love Bombing (00:14:38) Dana describes the cycle of violence followed by promises of love, which kept her hoping for change. The Neuroscience of Abuse (00:20:34) Dana discusses the neuroscience behind trauma bonds, explaining how repeated experiences rewire the brain, making victims believe the abuse is their fault. Defining Narcissism (00:25:39) Dana explains narcissism on a scale, comparing benign narcissists to benign tumors and malignant narcissists to malignant tumors. The Physical Toll of Chronic Stress (00:30:40) Dana details her severe health issues, including an autoimmune disorder and lung syndrome, caused by years of chronic stress. The Turning Point (00:35:14) A neurologist's advice to remove the "toxic" element from her life became the catalyst for Dana's decision to leave. Life After Abuse (00:38:43) Dana shares her incredible post-divorce success, including remarrying, publishing a bestselling trilogy, and finding her purpose. You Don't Need to Understand It to Leave (00:42:49) The speakers discuss reaching a point where understanding the "why" behind the abuse no longer matters; leaving is enough. Misdiagnosed and Medicated (00:49:28) Dana shares how her ex convinced her she was bipolar, leading to a decade of incorrect medication for PTSD. Challenging Social and Religious Pressure (00:53:41) The conversation addresses the societal and religious pressures that often keep women trapped in abusive marriages. The Alarming Statistics of Domestic Violence (01:00:16) Dana shares shocking statistics about the prevalence of intimate partner violence and its fatal consequences for women. Finding Resources and Support (01:02:09) The hosts emphasize that resources and support systems exist to help victims leave, including shelters and pet fostering services. Powerful Quotes from the Episode Dana, 'I'm locked in a house with a man who wants me dead.' Dana 'He loves me, but he's choosing to abuse me. He's choosing to hurt me. He wants me to be in pain. He wants me to suffer. And then by the end of that 25 years, it was, he actually wants me to be dead.' Dana, 'I had been living in fight or flight mode since I was six or seven years old.' 'Dana Diaz', '00:36:38', 'My health, my life was not worth this man that clearly didn't love me.' 'Dana, 'I finally realized that I had to stop living the life that was dictated to me, and live the life that was always in my heart.' RESOURCES: COACH WITH LAURA: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/coachwithlauraYOU'RE NOT CRAZY ebook: GET IT HEREMARRIED TO A "NICE" GUY: GETTING OVER NARCISSISTIC ABUSE: SHOP HEREJOIN THE NICE GUY RECOVERY COMMUNITY: https://...
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    1 ora e 12 min
  • EP 79: Living in the Aftermath with Lyndsey Hackford: Stories of Survival, Advocacy, and Hope Beyond Abuse

    EP 79: Living in the Aftermath with Lyndsey Hackford: Stories of Survival, Advocacy, and Hope Beyond Abuse
    Apr 29 2026
    In this episode of That's Where I'm At, host Laura speaks with Lyndsey Hackford, a domestic violence survivor, advocate, and host of the podcast Living in the Aftermath. After enduring years of coercive control and abuse that began at just 16 years old, shaped by her strict Mormon upbringing, Lyndsey now uses her voice to shed light on the psychological realities of abuse and why leaving is often far more complex than it seems. Lyndsey shares how her abuser used subtle manipulation to isolate her from dance, family, and her sense of independence, along with the darkest moments of her experience and the challenges she faced within the justice system. Drawing from both lived experience and her advocacy work, she now helps others understand trauma, reclaim their identity, and find meaning and purpose after abuse. Together, Laura and Lyndsey explore the long-term impact of coercive control, the complexities of healing, and the importance of creating honest, supportive spaces for survivors. Through her podcast Living in the Aftermath and her advocacy, Lyndsey continues to educate, empower, and amplify the voices of those navigating life after abuse. Key Topics & Timestamps Guest Introduction (00:01:25) Laura introduces her guest, Lyndsey Hackford, a survivor, advocate, and host of the "Living in the Aftermath" podcast. Meeting the Abuser (00:02:46) Lyndsey shares that she met her abusive ex-partner at the young and naive age of sixteen. Upbringing and Religious Background (00:03:19) Lyndsey describes her strict Mormon upbringing, which taught her to be subservient and not question male authority. Early Isolation Tactics (00:04:58) Lyndsey's abuser convinced her to quit competitive dance, a lifelong passion, framing it as a way to gain independence. The Subtlety of Control (00:07:12) Lyndsey explains how her ex's manipulation didn't seem like isolation at the time, but rather like supportive encouragement. Questioning Authority (00:07:57) Lyndsey and Laura discuss being labeled "difficult" as children for asking questions, especially within high-control religious environments. The Dynamics of Isolation (00:11:30) Lyndsey describes how her ex made family events so uncomfortable that she chose to cut off contact with her family. The Burden of Managing an Abuser (00:15:09) The hosts discuss the exhausting and impossible task of managing an abuser's emotions and making them feel comfortable. Life After Abuse (00:18:46) Lyndsey and Laura talk about the overwhelming but exciting process of rediscovering their own identities after leaving their relationships. Emotional vs. Physical Abuse (00:22:02) Lyndsey emphasizes that the emotional abuse she endured for years was often harder to process than the physical violence. Grieving Someone Who Is Still Alive (00:23:56) The hosts discuss the unique and complex grief of mourning a relationship with an abuser who is still living. A Violent Attack (00:27:29) Lyndsey recounts a brutal physical assault where her ex threw her onto concrete, resulting in a serious head injury. The Danger of Leaving (00:30:05) Lyndsey explains why leaving is the most dangerous time for a survivor, using her own story as a powerful example. The Abuser's Childhood (00:35:38) Lyndsey explains how her ex's traumatic childhood, including being given up by his birth father, shaped his abusive behavior. The First Arrest (00:37:17) Lyndsey details the confusing events leading to her ex's first arrest, which he initiated by calling the police himself. The Aftermath and Final Outcome (00:41:52) Lyndsey shares the journey through the legal system, the divorce, and how her ex eventually gave up parental rights. Becoming an Advocate (00:47:22) Lyndsey explains how she found purpose by sharing her story, speaking at high schools, and starting her own podcast. Powerful Quotes from the Episode Lyndsey, 'The moment you realize that you're not responsible for that other person that you will never please, it is the most relieving feeling on the planet.' Lyndsey, 'I still believe to this day that the emotional stuff I went through was so much harder than anything physical I went through, and I suffered that for so much longer, but didn't even realize it.' Lyndsey, 'It did feel like I was grieving my relationship with him as I was in it, because it felt like I didn't know the person that I was with.' Lyndsey, 'There were so many things that I questioned and I'm like, "Was that real? Did that really happen to me?"' Lyndsey, 'I knew very early on that if I didn't find a purpose for my trauma, it was going to destroy me because it doesn't go away.' RESOURCES: COACH WITH LAURA: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/coachwithlaura YOU'RE NOT CRAZY, RECLAIMING YOUR SANITY AND SELF-WORTH AFTER NARCISSISTIC ABUSE ebook: laurarichpodcast.gumroad.com/l/notcrazyebook MARRIED TO A "NICE" GUY: GETTING OVER NARCISSISTIC ABUSE: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/book-store FOLLOW THE PODCAST: http://...
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    53 min
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