How do we navigate grief and process it? Most significantly, how do we handle emotional triggers when they seem to reinvigorate past grief? Podcast Host CJMiller sits down with Reverand Lora Brandis, a Unitarian Universalist Minister with experience as a congregational minister, hospital chaplain, and spiritual director.

Lora shares her personal experience navigating grief after the loss of her daughter, stepdaughter, ex-husband, and college friend in the space of only two years. It's essential to talk about our grief and death. We are afraid of the sadness we see in others. When Lora tells her story, she recognizes that it does stop the conversation.

There's something about acknowledging death; it gives us space to understand that we are all dying. It's going to be sad, and people will miss us. Denial of death runs through religion and our society.

Lora continues to serve as an on-call hospital chaplain, providing spiritual support for those in hospital emergency rooms as a witness to their experience. She shares a recent experience that triggered her memory of the loss of her ex-husband, including a situation with an emergency vehicle, the ride to the hospital, and the final realization that nothing could be done to save the patient.

She introduces the term "metabolize grief." Lora lost her daughter only months before COVID-19, and she found herself isolated in grief. She shares how something would trigger her, and she would stop midstride and sob. It's essential to give your whole self time to process the loss.

Lora lists several practices to walk through her sadness, including journaling, meditation, prayer, reading, painting, and gardening. Her spiritual practice includes journaling, and she consciously decided to write down every detail from the day of her daughter's death. A way to save it but not keep it active in her mind. However, she cautions against getting stuck in your story. It's crucial to monitor ourselves if we feel caught in grief and retelling our story repeatedly.

Sometimes, we don't have as much choice as we think when our emotions are triggered; we have to surrender to them. She suggests finding your squad of several close friends to walk you through the process with good boundaries.

Lora reminds us that we are meaning-making creatures. We make meaning from our experiences. The question to ask about a trigger is, "How am I making meaning now in this moment?" We can change the meaning of triggers if we let them, and we can change how we make meaning of our lives.

The conversation references Megan Devine's "It's OK That You're Not OK" and Eckhart Tolles's "The Power of Now." She also recommended www.refugeingrief.com. For more information on Lora's spiritual coaching or to book her as a speaker, visit www.lorabrandis.com. For more information on CJMiller's book, speaking, and spiritual art retreats, visit www.spiritualartisttoday.com.