Why does the church get divorce so wrong? And how has bad theology made abuse and shame worse? In Part One, Michele Kus and Dr. Martin Trench examine harmful and misogynistic teachings on divorce and remarriage.

CONTENT WARNING: This episode discusses divorce, marital abuse, misogyny, sexual coercion, and spiritually harmful church teachings. Listener discretion is advised. If this brings up difficult emotions, please seek appropriate support. ❤️

Why does the church so often respond to divorce and abuse with rules instead of compassion? How did biblical teaching on marriage and divorce become a source of shame rather than healing?

In Part One of this two-part episode of Unhinged: Separating Faith from Fiction, Michele and Martin explore how rigid theology around divorce, marriage, and gender roles is formed — often far removed from lived experience — and why that theology so often fails people in real pain.

Drawing from years of pastoral observation, this conversation exposes how black-and-white answers can feel spiritually “safe,” while quietly doing deep harm — especially to women, abuse survivors, and those navigating the trauma of divorce.

Together, Michele and Martin name the ways evangelical church culture has:

• prioritized dogma over people
• ignored historical and cultural context in Scripture
• minimized abuse and misogyny in marriage
• added shame to those already carrying grief and loss

This episode is about naming the harm and asking why Scripture meant to bring freedom has so often been used to control rather than liberate people.

We explore questions such as:

• Why do some churches handle divorce so poorly?
• How does bad theology make abuse harder to name and escape?
• How are rigid church teachings on divorce formed — and who ends up paying the price?
• Why did Jesus consistently choose people over rules?

This is Part One.

In Part Two, we slow down and look closely at the biblical texts on divorce, the original cultural context, and what Scripture actually says about protection, dignity, and liberation.

We are not anti-church or anti-Bible. We are, however, pro-people, pro-context, and pro-Jesus-style compassion.

If you’ve been through divorce and felt judged, silenced, or spiritually harmed by the church, you are not alone — and this episode is for you.

Stay tuned for Part Two, where the conversation goes even deeper.

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Watch this conversation on our brand new Unhinged YouTube channel!

Check out Martin’s Skool community called The Gathering.

Check out Michele’s Skool community called New Creation Academy.

Check out Martin’s books: Victorious Eschatology, Eyes Wide Open, and Secrets of Spiritual Growth.

Follow Michele and Martin on Facebook

Follow Michele and Martin on Instagram

Follow Michele and Martin on TikTok

Michele Kus, M.A. on Linktree

Dr. Martin Trench on Linktree

Chapters:

00:00 Welcome to Unhinged: Separating Faith from Fiction!

03:08 Bible College, Certainty, and the Comfort of Rules

10:00 When Theology Is Formed Without Life Experience

12:54 Divorce, Shame, and Misogyny in the Evangelical Industrial Complex

18:21 Why Cultural Context Matters in Scripture

23:12 Choosing Dogma Over People

26:53 Gen X Senior Moments & Unhinged Outtakes!

This episode features a live group conversation reflecting on Week One of the Deconstruction / Reconstruction Challenge hosted by Martin Trench.

In this candid conversation, we explore how fear-based theology — especially around the end times, the rapture, and hell — shapes not just beliefs, but anxiety, mental health, physical health, and relationships.

You’ll hear honest reflections from participants as they process what happens when fear begins to loosen its grip on faith:

• How fear became a foundational ingredient in their Christian faith
• The emotional and relational costs of deconstruction
• Why bad eschatology often produces bad fruit
• The difference between tearing faith down and rebuilding it wisely
• Why healing the heart matters just as much as reconstructing theology
• How spiritual maturity allows room for different conclusions

Martin shares insights on the unity of the early Church, progressive revelation, and why Jesus never used fear as a formation tool — along with a powerful metaphor for deconstruction and reconstruction using “red bricks” and “blue bricks.”

If you’ve ever felt anxious, unsettled, or disoriented after questioning long-held beliefs, this episode offers validation, perspective, and a reminder that you’re not alone in the process.

SUBSCRIBE to our YouTube channel and FOLLOW Unhinged on your favorite podcast player. Fresh, new episodes drop every Friday!

Watch this conversation on our brand new Unhinged YouTube channel!

Check out Martin’s Deconstruction → Reconstruction Challenge on Skool.

Check out Martin’s books: Victorious Eschatology, Eyes Wide Open, and Secrets of Spiritual Growth.

Follow Michele and Martin on Facebook

Follow Michele and Martin on Instagram

Follow Michele and Martin on TikTok

Michele Kus, M.A. on Linktree

Dr. Martin Trench on Linktree

Chapters:

00:00 Why Fear-Based Theology Creates Anxious Christians

03:02 Rapture Theory & Being “Left Behind”

05:40 The Fear of Hell & Anxiety

07:08 The Damage of Purity Culture & the Benefits of Meditation

09:01 When Doctrine Costs You Community

14:07 When Beliefs Divide Instead of Unite

16:58 When Beliefs Change but Wounds Remain

19:30 When Truth Brings Healing & Wholeness

20:20 Progressive Revelation: Red Bricks & Blue Bricks

24:21 Different Journeys, Different Conclusions

Why is thinking for yourself such a big deal in spiritual maturity?

This is Part 2 of our conversation on why churches sometimes create dependency instead of discernment, and what it actually looks like to grow up spiritually.

In this episode of Unhinged: Separating Faith from Fiction, Michele Kus and Martin Trench explore personal agency, inner conviction, and why real Christian maturity isn’t about following rigid rules or groupthink, but learning how to discern, decide, and live from the inside out.

We talk about why Jesus describes the path that leads to life as narrow — not because it’s restrictive, but because it’s custom-made for each person. Faith was never meant to be one-size-fits-all.

In this episode, we cover:

• Why churches often teach WHAT to think instead of HOW to think
• The role of personal conscience in Christian decision-making
• Why fear-based and shame-based teaching undermines spiritual maturity
• Inner conviction vs. external rules
• Becoming un-indoctrinated, living in freedom, and guarding your heart
• What it actually means to grow into spiritual adulthood

Drawing from scripture, lived experience, and wisdom from voices like Meister Eckhart, this episode invites you to stop outsourcing your discernment and begin trusting the relationship God has with you.

“To be born again is not to become a different person, but to become the person God always intended you to be.”

If you haven’t listened to Part 1 yet, start here: Episode 12

This episode completes the conversation and points toward a healthier, more mature way forward.

SUBSCRIBE to our YouTube channel and FOLLOW Unhinged on your favorite podcast player. Fresh, new episodes drop every Friday!

Watch today’s conversation on our brand new Unhinged YouTube channel!

Here’s the spicy Facebook post that started this conversation.

Check out Martin’s Deconstruction → Reconstruction Challenge on Skool.

Check out Martin’s books: Victorious Eschatology, Eyes Wide Open, and Secrets of Spiritual Growth.

Follow Michele and Martin on Facebook

Follow Michele and Martin on Instagram

Follow Michele and Martin on TikTok

Michele Kus, M.A. on Linktree

Dr. Martin Trench on Linktree

Chapters:

00:00 Welcome to Unhinged: Separating Faith from Fiction

03:42 The Missing Adult Stage of Spiritual Growth

06:27 “Narrow Is the Path” — It’s Custom-Made

09:59 We’ve Designed Churches as One-Size-Fits-All

11:58 Groupthink and the Fear of Other Opinions

14:59 “The Way He Should Go” — Proverbs 22:6

18:50 Inner World Conviction Over Outer World Rules

21:18 Undoctrination, Fear, Rules, and Waking Up

30:43 This Is the Core Issue

31:46 Freedom, Discernment, and Living Your Own Life

33:16 Outtakes & Unhinged Moments

Why do so many smart, capable adults feel anxious making major life decisions without first checking with their pastor — or making sure the Bible gives them permission?

In this episode of Unhinged: Separating Faith from Fiction, Michele Kus and Martin Trench name and explore a rarely acknowledged reality in modern church culture: the ways church systems can unintentionally infantilize adults by discouraging independent thought, personal conviction, and spiritual maturity.

Together, they unpack how well-meaning leadership can slide into spiritual micromanagement, creating dependence rather than formation. The conversation touches on learned helplessness, pastoral overreach, and why reliance on permission often gets mistaken for devotion.

Grounded in Scripture, Michele and Martin point listeners back to Romans 14 and Colossians 2, which emphasize personal conscience, freedom from manmade rules, and a mature faith rooted in Christ rather than external control.

They explore questions such as:

• Does the New Testament actually support pastors managing people’s personal decisions?
• What role does community play versus pastoral counseling?
• What does it look like to grow into spiritual adulthood — a faith marked by maturity, agency, discernment, and trust in God rather than pastoral approval or permission?

This episode includes thoughtful, compassionate discussion around marriage, pastoral counseling, and the real-world dangers of oversimplified spiritual advice in complex situations.

This is not an anti-church or anti-pastor episode! It’s a pro-maturity, pro-freedom, pro-formation invitation.

If you’re ready for a faith that equips you rather than manages you, this episode is for you.

Follow Unhinged on your favorite podcast platform. Fresh, new episodes drop every Friday!

CONTENT WARNING: This episode includes brief references to marital abuse and potentially dangerous situations. Listener discretion is encouraged. Please seek support if any of this resonates with you or someone you love.

Watch today’s conversation on our brand new Unhinged YouTube channel!

Here’s the spicy Facebook post Michele referenced at the beginning of this episode.

Check out Martin’s Deconstruction → Reconstruction Challenge on Skool.

Check out Martin’s books: Victorious Eschatology, Eyes Wide Open, and Secrets of Spiritual Growth.

Follow Michele and Martin on Facebook

Follow Michele and Martin on Instagram

Follow Michele and Martin on TikTok

Michele Kus, M.A. on Linktree

Dr. Martin Trench on Linktree

Chapters:

00:00 Welcome to Unhinged: Separating Faith from Fiction!

02:13 Why Are Adults Treated Like Children in Church?

07:18 Spiritual Micromanagement & Learned Helplessness

15:48 Pastoral Counseling vs. Spiritual Community (“One Another”)

20:07 Marriage, Abuse, Divorce, & Honoring Human Agency

23:58 The Third Stage of Spiritual Growth: Adulthood

27:42 The Purpose of Church: Equip, Inform, Inspire

29:02 Final Thoughts, Resources, & Next Steps

30:45 Bloopers & Outtakes!

Was Christmas really a one-night event in a lonely stable? Or have we oversimplified one of the most radical moments in human history?

In this episode of Unhinged: Separating Faith from Fiction, Michele Kus and Dr. Martin Trench bring you “A Very Unhinged Christmas” by dismantling common nativity myths and recovering the deeper historical, cultural, and cosmic meaning of the incarnation.

You’ll discover why the Christmas story actually unfolds over nearly two years, how ancient betrothal customs reshape our understanding of Mary and Joseph, why the Magi were Zoroastrian priest-astronomers watching the stars, and how celestial signs, Old Testament prophecy, and political upheaval all collide in the birth of Jesus. It’s a cosmic drama like none other in history!

Our deep-dive conversation explores:

• Why the incarnation should be celebrated daily — not just annually
• The cultural and biblical context of ancient pregnancy and betrothal
• Who the Magi really were and why constellations and the zodiac matter in the Christmas story
• Why the “three kings” were stars, not people
• The connection between Virgo, Leo, Judea, and Revelation 12
• Where Mary and Joseph likely stayed when Jesus was born
• How Christmas reveals a God who is fully present, not distant

This is not sentimental Christmas-card theology. This is incarnation as divine union, cosmic disruption, and embodied presence. Hallelujah!

Follow Unhinged on your favorite podcast platform. Fresh, new episodes drop every Friday!

Check out our brand new Unhinged YouTube channel!

Check out Martin’s Deconstruction → Reconstruction Challenge on Skool.

Check out The Star of Bethlehem documentary mentioned on today’s episode.

Check out Martin’s books: Victorious Eschatology, Eyes Wide Open, and Secrets of Spiritual Growth.

Follow Michele and Martin on Facebook

Follow Michele and Martin on Instagram

Follow Michele and Martin on TikTok

Michele Kus, M.A. on Linktree

Dr. Martin Trench on Linktree

Chapters:

00:00 It’s a Very Unhinged Christmas!

02:25 Why the Incarnation Was a Two-Year Event

08:28 Pregnancy, Prophecy, Betrothal, and Divine Visitation

15:18 Meet the Magi: Zoroastrian Priests From the East

19:20 How Ancient Astrologers Read the Night Sky

23:20 Essenes, Caves, and Bethlehem’s Guest House

28:25 Three ”King” Stars Align in the Constellation Leo

34:14 The Symbolism and Value of Gold, Frankincense, and Myrrh

40:18 How Families and Shepherds Kept Their Animals

45:43 Mary and Joseph Go to Egypt with Money

47:50 December 25 Was Probably Not Jesus’ Birthday

54:45 Bloopers and Unhinged Moments

In Part 1, we explored the historical context of tithing — Abraham’s one-time gift, Jacob’s conditional vow, the Mosaic Law, and how Christians accidentally inherited a covenant that was never meant to be theirs.

Now in Part 2, Michele and Martin turn from context to practice and ask: What does generosity actually look like in the New Covenant — for real, grown-up adults who are led by the Holy Spirit?

This episode confronts the fear- and guilt-based messaging so many believers were taught around money and giving. We talk about why 10% can be a helpful starting point — not a one-size-fits-all rule — how generosity shifts across life seasons, and why believers must be trusted to make their own decisions with God instead of being treated like spiritual children who must be told what to do.

We challenge manipulative language, bless those who’ve felt guilted or pressured in the past, and cast a vision for giving as an adventure with God — joyful, Spirit-led, and rooted in freedom rather than obligation.

If Part 1 untangled the misconceptions, Part 2 empowers you to walk in maturity, confidence, and New Covenant freedom — trusting yourself to hear God, make wise decisions based on your unique life, and give generously from a place of genuine freedom and cheerfulness.

Right heart. New freedom. This is generosity the way Jesus intended.

Follow Unhinged on your favorite podcast platform. Fresh, new episodes drop every Friday!

Check out Martin’s learning community called The Gathering on Skool.

Check out Martin’s books: Victorious Eschatology, Eyes Wide Open, and Secrets of Spiritual Growth.

Follow Michele and Martin on Facebook

Follow Michele and Martin on Instagram

Follow Michele and Martin on TikTok

Michele Kus, M.A. on Linktree

Dr. Martin Trench on Linktree

In Part 1 of our two-part series on tithing and New Covenant generosity, Michele and Martin revisit the Mosaic Law and ask a crucial question: Why are Christians still following laws that were never theirs to begin with?

We unpack how tithing functioned as a taxation system under ancient Israel’s covenant, why the Law was always temporary, and what was actually going on in the Abraham and Jacob tithe stories in Genesis. Spoiler: neither of them were setting a precedent for Christians.

To be clear, this episode isn’t anti-tithing. It’s anti-compulsion and anti-wrong covenant. If you want to tithe, awesome. But under the New Covenant, generosity should flow from freedom and cheerfulness, not obligation.

Next week in Part 2, we’ll explore what Spirit-led giving looks like when it’s rooted in grace instead of guilt, and why some people should actually give nothing. Don’t miss it!

Follow Unhinged on your favorite podcast platform. Fresh, new episodes drop every Friday!

Check out Martin’s learning community called The Gathering on Skool.

Check out Martin’s books: Victorious Eschatology, Eyes Wide Open, and Secrets of Spiritual Growth.

Follow Michele and Martin on Facebook

Follow Michele and Martin on Instagram

Follow Michele and Martin on TikTok

Michele Kus, M.A. on Linktree

Dr. Martin Trench on Linktree

In this episode, Michele and Martin peel back the layers of fear, shame, distortion, and “biblical roles” to explore what Scripture really teaches about sex, relationships, and marriage. No purity culture baggage. No evangelical clichés. Just a fresh, grace-centered, historically grounded look at passages we’ve been misled about for years.

We talk about:

• Why the Bible is not uni-vocal about sex (and why that matters)
• How purity culture distorts desire, bodies, and relationships
• The evangelical “story” we’ve been handed of exactly how and when sex should happen
• A healthier, integrated, truly biblical way forward

If you’ve ever felt confused, ashamed, or spiritually fragmented because of church teachings around sex, purity, and intimacy, this episode offers clarity, compassion, and a path back to wholeness.

Follow Unhinged on your favorite platform. Fresh, new episodes drop every Friday!

CONTENT WARNING: This episode openly discusses sexuality, purity culture, and harmful messages around intimacy that some listeners may have experienced in church settings. If you have children nearby or prefer to engage with these topics privately, consider using headphones.

Check out Martin's video referencing household hierarchy in Ephesians here.

Connect with Allison Metcalfe for healing and coaching around purity culture issues.

Check out Bare Marriage for additional *healthy* resources on sex and relationships.

Check out Martin’s learning community called The Gathering on Skool.

Check out Martin’s books: Victorious Eschatology, Eyes Wide Open, and Secrets of Spiritual Growth.

Follow Michele and Martin on Facebook

Follow Michele and Martin on Instagram

Follow Michele and Martin on TikTok

Michele Kus, M.A. on Linktree

Dr. Martin Trench on Linktree