Why does the church get divorce so wrong? And how has bad theology made abuse and shame worse? In Part One, Michele Kus and Dr. Martin Trench examine harmful and misogynistic teachings on divorce and remarriage.

CONTENT WARNING: This episode discusses divorce, marital abuse, misogyny, sexual coercion, and spiritually harmful church teachings. Listener discretion is advised. If this brings up difficult emotions, please seek appropriate support. ❤️

Why does the church so often respond to divorce and abuse with rules instead of compassion? How did biblical teaching on marriage and divorce become a source of shame rather than healing?

In Part One of this two-part episode of Unhinged: Separating Faith from Fiction, Michele and Martin explore how rigid theology around divorce, marriage, and gender roles is formed — often far removed from lived experience — and why that theology so often fails people in real pain.

Drawing from years of pastoral observation, this conversation exposes how black-and-white answers can feel spiritually “safe,” while quietly doing deep harm — especially to women, abuse survivors, and those navigating the trauma of divorce.

Together, Michele and Martin name the ways evangelical church culture has:

• prioritized dogma over people
• ignored historical and cultural context in Scripture
• minimized abuse and misogyny in marriage
• added shame to those already carrying grief and loss

This episode is about naming the harm and asking why Scripture meant to bring freedom has so often been used to control rather than liberate people.

We explore questions such as:

• Why do some churches handle divorce so poorly?
• How does bad theology make abuse harder to name and escape?
• How are rigid church teachings on divorce formed — and who ends up paying the price?
• Why did Jesus consistently choose people over rules?

This is Part One.

In Part Two, we slow down and look closely at the biblical texts on divorce, the original cultural context, and what Scripture actually says about protection, dignity, and liberation.

We are not anti-church or anti-Bible. We are, however, pro-people, pro-context, and pro-Jesus-style compassion.

If you’ve been through divorce and felt judged, silenced, or spiritually harmed by the church, you are not alone — and this episode is for you.

Stay tuned for Part Two, where the conversation goes even deeper.

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Watch this conversation on our brand new Unhinged YouTube channel!

Check out Martin’s Skool community called The Gathering.

Check out Michele’s Skool community called New Creation Academy.

Check out Martin’s books: Victorious Eschatology, Eyes Wide Open, and Secrets of Spiritual Growth.

Follow Michele and Martin on Facebook

Follow Michele and Martin on Instagram

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Michele Kus, M.A. on Linktree

Dr. Martin Trench on Linktree

Chapters:

00:00 Welcome to Unhinged: Separating Faith from Fiction!

03:08 Bible College, Certainty, and the Comfort of Rules

10:00 When Theology Is Formed Without Life Experience

12:54 Divorce, Shame, and Misogyny in the Evangelical Industrial Complex

18:21 Why Cultural Context Matters in Scripture

23:12 Choosing Dogma Over People

26:53 Gen X Senior Moments & Unhinged Outtakes!

This episode features a live group conversation reflecting on Week One of the Deconstruction / Reconstruction Challenge hosted by Martin Trench.

In this candid conversation, we explore how fear-based theology — especially around the end times, the rapture, and hell — shapes not just beliefs, but anxiety, mental health, physical health, and relationships.

You’ll hear honest reflections from participants as they process what happens when fear begins to loosen its grip on faith:

• How fear became a foundational ingredient in their Christian faith
• The emotional and relational costs of deconstruction
• Why bad eschatology often produces bad fruit
• The difference between tearing faith down and rebuilding it wisely
• Why healing the heart matters just as much as reconstructing theology
• How spiritual maturity allows room for different conclusions

Martin shares insights on the unity of the early Church, progressive revelation, and why Jesus never used fear as a formation tool — along with a powerful metaphor for deconstruction and reconstruction using “red bricks” and “blue bricks.”

If you’ve ever felt anxious, unsettled, or disoriented after questioning long-held beliefs, this episode offers validation, perspective, and a reminder that you’re not alone in the process.

SUBSCRIBE to our YouTube channel and FOLLOW Unhinged on your favorite podcast player. Fresh, new episodes drop every Friday!

Watch this conversation on our brand new Unhinged YouTube channel!

Check out Martin’s Deconstruction → Reconstruction Challenge on Skool.

Check out Martin’s books: Victorious Eschatology, Eyes Wide Open, and Secrets of Spiritual Growth.

Follow Michele and Martin on Facebook

Follow Michele and Martin on Instagram

Follow Michele and Martin on TikTok

Michele Kus, M.A. on Linktree

Dr. Martin Trench on Linktree

Chapters:

00:00 Why Fear-Based Theology Creates Anxious Christians

03:02 Rapture Theory & Being “Left Behind”

05:40 The Fear of Hell & Anxiety

07:08 The Damage of Purity Culture & the Benefits of Meditation

09:01 When Doctrine Costs You Community

14:07 When Beliefs Divide Instead of Unite

16:58 When Beliefs Change but Wounds Remain

19:30 When Truth Brings Healing & Wholeness

20:20 Progressive Revelation: Red Bricks & Blue Bricks

24:21 Different Journeys, Different Conclusions

Why is thinking for yourself such a big deal in spiritual maturity?

This is Part 2 of our conversation on why churches sometimes create dependency instead of discernment, and what it actually looks like to grow up spiritually.

In this episode of Unhinged: Separating Faith from Fiction, Michele Kus and Martin Trench explore personal agency, inner conviction, and why real Christian maturity isn’t about following rigid rules or groupthink, but learning how to discern, decide, and live from the inside out.

We talk about why Jesus describes the path that leads to life as narrow — not because it’s restrictive, but because it’s custom-made for each person. Faith was never meant to be one-size-fits-all.

In this episode, we cover:

• Why churches often teach WHAT to think instead of HOW to think
• The role of personal conscience in Christian decision-making
• Why fear-based and shame-based teaching undermines spiritual maturity
• Inner conviction vs. external rules
• Becoming un-indoctrinated, living in freedom, and guarding your heart
• What it actually means to grow into spiritual adulthood

Drawing from scripture, lived experience, and wisdom from voices like Meister Eckhart, this episode invites you to stop outsourcing your discernment and begin trusting the relationship God has with you.

“To be born again is not to become a different person, but to become the person God always intended you to be.”

If you haven’t listened to Part 1 yet, start here: Episode 12

This episode completes the conversation and points toward a healthier, more mature way forward.

SUBSCRIBE to our YouTube channel and FOLLOW Unhinged on your favorite podcast player. Fresh, new episodes drop every Friday!

Watch today’s conversation on our brand new Unhinged YouTube channel!

Here’s the spicy Facebook post that started this conversation.

Check out Martin’s Deconstruction → Reconstruction Challenge on Skool.

Check out Martin’s books: Victorious Eschatology, Eyes Wide Open, and Secrets of Spiritual Growth.

Follow Michele and Martin on Facebook

Follow Michele and Martin on Instagram

Follow Michele and Martin on TikTok

Michele Kus, M.A. on Linktree

Dr. Martin Trench on Linktree

Chapters:

00:00 Welcome to Unhinged: Separating Faith from Fiction

03:42 The Missing Adult Stage of Spiritual Growth

06:27 “Narrow Is the Path” — It’s Custom-Made

09:59 We’ve Designed Churches as One-Size-Fits-All

11:58 Groupthink and the Fear of Other Opinions

14:59 “The Way He Should Go” — Proverbs 22:6

18:50 Inner World Conviction Over Outer World Rules

21:18 Undoctrination, Fear, Rules, and Waking Up

30:43 This Is the Core Issue

31:46 Freedom, Discernment, and Living Your Own Life

33:16 Outtakes & Unhinged Moments