Why does the church get divorce so wrong? And how has bad theology made abuse and shame worse? In Part One, Michele Kus and Dr. Martin Trench examine harmful and misogynistic teachings on divorce and remarriage.

CONTENT WARNING: This episode discusses divorce, marital abuse, misogyny, sexual coercion, and spiritually harmful church teachings. Listener discretion is advised. If this brings up difficult emotions, please seek appropriate support. ❤️

Why does the church so often respond to divorce and abuse with rules instead of compassion? How did biblical teaching on marriage and divorce become a source of shame rather than healing?

In Part One of this two-part episode of Unhinged: Separating Faith from Fiction, Michele and Martin explore how rigid theology around divorce, marriage, and gender roles is formed — often far removed from lived experience — and why that theology so often fails people in real pain.

Drawing from years of pastoral observation, this conversation exposes how black-and-white answers can feel spiritually “safe,” while quietly doing deep harm — especially to women, abuse survivors, and those navigating the trauma of divorce.

Together, Michele and Martin name the ways evangelical church culture has:

• prioritized dogma over people
• ignored historical and cultural context in Scripture
• minimized abuse and misogyny in marriage
• added shame to those already carrying grief and loss

This episode is about naming the harm and asking why Scripture meant to bring freedom has so often been used to control rather than liberate people.

We explore questions such as:

• Why do some churches handle divorce so poorly?
• How does bad theology make abuse harder to name and escape?
• How are rigid church teachings on divorce formed — and who ends up paying the price?
• Why did Jesus consistently choose people over rules?

This is Part One.

In Part Two, we slow down and look closely at the biblical texts on divorce, the original cultural context, and what Scripture actually says about protection, dignity, and liberation.

We are not anti-church or anti-Bible. We are, however, pro-people, pro-context, and pro-Jesus-style compassion.

If you’ve been through divorce and felt judged, silenced, or spiritually harmed by the church, you are not alone — and this episode is for you.

Stay tuned for Part Two, where the conversation goes even deeper.

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Chapters:

00:00 Welcome to Unhinged: Separating Faith from Fiction!

03:08 Bible College, Certainty, and the Comfort of Rules

10:00 When Theology Is Formed Without Life Experience

12:54 Divorce, Shame, and Misogyny in the Evangelical Industrial Complex

18:21 Why Cultural Context Matters in Scripture

23:12 Choosing Dogma Over People

26:53 Gen X Senior Moments & Unhinged Outtakes!