DEFENDANT: Gilded Age Decadence

EVIDENCE: Biltmore Estate Reserve Chenin Blanc

SCENE OF THE CRIME: The Biltmore Estate, Asheville, NC

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Hey friend — welcome back to True Crimes Against Wine for our first full episode of 2026! We’re sipping a slightly off-dry Chenin Blanc (surprise: from Biltmore in North Carolina), chatting about how it tastes like walking through a crisp apple orchard, debating whether monkeys belong at high-society parties, and diving headfirst into the Gilded Age — Mansions, dollar princesses, scandalous debutante balls, and the Vanderbilts’ iconic Biltmore Estate. We pair tasting notes (pear, honey, kiwi, and a lovely balancing acidity) with wild historical tangents, food pairing dreams (shishitos, spicy sausage, melon & prosciutto), and way too many fantasies about being wealthy eccentrics. If you love wine stories, architectural daydreams, and irreverent history deep dives, join us for laughs, snacks, and one judge-y quiz. Tell us your snack, your Biltmore memories, and whether you’d host a monkey at your next party. Cheers!

When wine is on trial, the gossip is dishy, the judges are drunk, the verdicts are random — welcome to True Crimes Against Wine and our first sidebar of 2026! Happy New Year, friend! We kicked off the episode riffing about nostalgia, then dove headfirst into what actually matters: what the next year (and beyond) looks like for wine.

Quick take: climate shifts are pushing vineyards north and uphill, which means you’ll be tasting wines with brighter acidity instead of the old-school fruit bombs and heavy oak. Expect to see more accessible, interesting bottles from South America, New Zealand and Australia pop up in your grocery store — tariffs and global economics make Europe trickier right now. Small domestic winemakers are likely to adapt by offering more reserve and niche wines to protect margins, which could change what becomes mainstream over time.

Heads-up: this stuff isn’t instant. Replanting vines and aging wines takes years — sometimes close to a decade for certain styles — so producers are making high-stakes bets on harvest timing and vintage quality. I’ve got so much respect for the family-run wineries putting in the sweat equity. As a drinker, that uncertainty is part of the romance; as someone running the farm, I’d be a Walmart greeter in a heartbeat.

Also, watch for celebrity collabs — fewer hands-on wine barons, more low-risk partnerships that boost publicity. And yes, tequila keeps rising (margarita season, anyone?), so expect more spirits episodes and celeb bottles to show up fast. If you spot any fun celeb wines or weird regional gems, send them our way — we can’t find everything alone.

We’re always sourcing stuff and would love your tips. Reach out at truecrimesagainstwine@gmail.com and find us on TikTok and Instagram — we might send swag. Cheers to 2026: drink a lot, survive, and let’s see what the year pours for us. Bye for now.

Hey friend — welcome to our latest People’s Court episode where we dive into an Am I the Asshole post about a 19-year-old bridesmaid who finally got her ears pierced and wore one-inch silver hoops to her sister’s wedding, only to be called "trashy" and accused of disrespecting the bride. Spoiler: we’re not surprised by how wild this got.

We walk through why that reaction felt wildly over the top — the bridesmaid is an adult making a small, tasteful choice, and calling your sibling trashy at your wedding? Cold. We compare it to the exact opposite energy of chill brides who gift matching earrings and set clear, reasonable boundaries, and we laugh (a little cruelly) about how dramatic family weddings can be.

Have your own juicy wedding drama? The uncle who threw up, the brother-in-law who got handsy, or the cousin who caused a scene — we want to hear it. Send us your stories at truecrimesagainstwine@gmail.com or find us on TikTok and Instagram — we’ll read the best ones on the show and might even send you some swag.

Pour a drink, settle in, and let’s judge some people together — because honestly, it’s way more fun from the guest table.

DEFENDANT: Buddy the Elf

EVIDENCE: Manos Wines Special Edition "Elf" Prosecco

SCENE OF THE CRIME: From the North Pole all the way to Manhattan and back again!

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Hey — glad you made it to our cozy chaos. This episode is basically two things: a heavy pour of festive Prosecco (shoutout to the blingy Manos bottle) and a full-on, goofy love letter to Elf — plus the ridiculous trivia and fan theories that make holiday movies feel like family. We talk traditions, awkward childhood rituals, terrible gift-control impulses, and why some of our favorite seasonal things still hit like warm nostalgia.

We nerd out about Elf like it’s evidence in a case: Jon Favreau’s direction, Will Ferrell’s enormous golden-retriever energy, Zooey Deschanel’s surprise musical cameo, James Caan’s grumpy-dad groove, and even that weird Central Park ranger theory that adds a darker layer if you let it. There are shower scenes, department store mayhem, real-life crowd reactions caught on film, and a few production easter eggs (Wanda name tags and stop-motion nods) that are delightfully silly.

Also: yes, we taste the Prosecco. It’s festive, metallic, and exactly what you want for toasts — light, apple-y, and not too sweet. We compare it to champagne, Cava, and whatever else you line up on a party table while you argue whether donut holes count as zero calories and whether sparkling wine and popcorn are an acceptable holiday combo. (They are.)

We get real about the season, too. If you’re feeling pressure to show up for people who drain you, hear us: you don’t have to. Treat holiday plans like a dinner party you actually want to attend. Set boundaries, keep what’s meaningful, and let the rest go. If all else fails, borrow Buddy the Elf’s wide-eyed wonder for a few minutes — it’s the best kind of permission slip to feel joy again.

So pour yourself something fizzy, fold a little ridiculousness into your traditions, and enjoy the stories — goofy, tender, and truer than you might expect. From our cramped, sparkly loft to wherever you’re nesting this season: happy holidays, however you celebrate. Cheers.

Join Judge Rachel and Topher as they relive a delightfully chaotic honeymoon in Edinburgh — from a misbooked Highlands tour that turned into an unexpected adventure, to candlelit luxury at The Witchery and a surprise Muppet Christmas Carol live orchestra. This episode is full of humor, heartfelt moments, and travel mishaps (yes, a bus mix-up that might have saved their lives). If you love stories about how travel plans go sideways and still manage to become the best memories, you'll feel like you're right there with them sipping wine, spotting Highland cows, and hunting for Nessie. Packed with castle strolls, underground tours, secret gardens, and plenty of sarcasm, this sidebar is the perfect post-trip debrief to listen to with a friend.

DEFENDANT: Tori Amos

EVIDENCE: Cloud Watcher California Red Blend

SCENE OF THE CRIME: "The Finest Vineyards in California"

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Hey friend — welcome to the chaos: we opened a grocery-store red called Cloud Watcher (hello, green-pepper nose and dark-plum cocoa vibes), wrestled over a billion points in Corrections Corner, and brought our dog Hermes along to supervise. We sip, we sigh, and we trade childhood-cloud stories while debating whether cloud-watching is relaxing or suspiciously boring.

Then things get deliciously melodic because our “defendant” today is Tori Amos. We peel back her origin story — piano prodigy at Peabody, early L.A. band experiments, exile to the UK, and the piano-driven masterpiece Little Earthquakes — and run through highlights from Choirgirl Hotel to Boys for Pele, Night of Hunters and beyond. There’s talk of kazoo deep cuts, mood rings, curly hair aesthetics, and why Tori’s lyrics made us fall in love with poetry all over again.

Of course we couldn’t resist a game: a twelve-question cross-examination where we read lyrics and guessed whether they were Tori or Not-Tori. There were surprises (Fiona Apple, Tracy Chapman, The Cranberries), triumphant wins, a couple of tequila—I mean wine—sips for wrong answers, and a lot of nostalgic 90s energy. You’ll hear about favorite songs (Crucify gets a special shout), concert memories, and how husband, Fact Checker and our little group fit into the Tori fandom saga.

Gossip alert: we dive into the messy 90s drama — Trent Reznor, Courtney Love, and the career fallout that left some fans scribbling love and hate in equal measure. We don’t shy away from the heavy stuff either: there’s a frank moment about trauma, loss, and how those themes weave through Tori’s music.

Between parenthetical jokes about Publix ads, soup-watching disasters, and a recurring helicopter/hematite-cloud dream, this episode is equal parts nerdy music-nerd history and cozy chat over a $10 bottle that punches way above its price. We also bouquet in a little wanderlust — Cornwall homes, haunted castles, and the dream of living like older, well-rested rich people with perfect towels and fireplaces in every room.

So pour a glass, settle in, and listen for the lyric-guessing triumphs, the wardrobe nostalgia (yep, we reunited with our high-school T-shirts), and the way Tori’s songs keep looping back into our weird little lives. If you’re a Tori obsessive, an accidental listener, or just here to find out whether that wine is worth a splurge — welcome, you’re home.

Hey friend — grab a cup of something warm because this episode is basically a cozy love letter to Scotland and the chaos of planning the perfect honeymoon. I’m getting married (yes, Mrs. Fiance—probably?), and Topher — now a travel advisor extraordinaire — planned our whole week in Edinburgh as a wedding gift. He went full curator mode, balancing our must-dos (spooky tunnels? yes please) and the slow, wandering days we actually want to enjoy.

We talk about staying put in Edinburgh as our base, skipping the long car treks and islands that would eat half our trip, and instead taking smart day trips and local tours. There’s a historical scavenger-hunt app to help us get our bearings without being rushed, haunted tours that end in dungeons (adults only, thank goodness), and a smidge of golf-related comedy because apparently my honeymoon could’ve been miniature-golf therapy for life choices.

Topher’s approach was so thoughtful — he curated the trip around what we genuinely love: walking the city in cardigans, foggy seaside vibes, and spooky stories. He also navigated budget realities (hello, Witchery hotel dreams) and found us a stunning hotel with a VIP upgrade instead of blowing the budget on one ultra-expensive night. Smart, practical, and still romantic.

We kept things intentionally unbooked in spots so we can stumble into our own moments, which is my favorite part about travel. It’s the best of both worlds: planned highlights (fairy-highland tour, haunted tunnels) plus lazy pub stops and wandering lanes we’ll want to return to. Also: planning a trip with a travel advisor really changes the game — it felt customized in the best way.

So come along as we gush about nostalgia, Scotland, and all the tiny decisions that make a honeymoon feel like a memory-in-progress. And if you ever need a travel nudge (or a good excuse to avoid driving abroad), Topher’s got you — maybe he’ll get you a VIP upgrade too.

DEFENDANT: Everybody Loves Raymond

EVIDENCE: Raymond Cellars Reserve Cabernet Sauvignon

SCENE OF THE CRIME: Long Island

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Hey friend — grab a glass and get comfy. In this episode of True Crimes Against Wine we swap the usual table wine for a lush, decanted Raymond Sellers Cabernet Sauvignon (yes, the reserve — velvety label, 14.5% sass included) and spend the episode pairing big-flavor wine notes with bigger TV drama: the sitcom Everybody Loves Raymond. We talk vineyard history (Napa’s underdog moment and the Bottle Shock story), decanting tips, and the gorgeous, peppery, black-cherry notes of this super-balanced Cab that the hosts absolutely adore.

Then the banter turns to the Barone family: the show’s charm, its most cringe-worthy tropes (the “incompetent husband” bit and how sitcom conventions can sneak into real life), and the cast’s standout performances — from Marie’s manipulative, loving energy to Frank’s grumpy heart and Robert’s deadpan magic. Expect hot takes on Patricia Heaton’s real-life politics, behind-the-scenes casting quirks, and hilarious anecdotes about auditions, auditions-day moods, and even celebrity soap-opera moments (yes, there’s an SVU crossover mention).

We laugh, we judge, we get nostalgic about laugh tracks and sitcom dinners (IHOP, anyone?), and ultimately try to render a verdict: is Everybody Loves Raymond guilty of reinforcing tired gender tropes, or just a cozy, flawed classic? Pour yourself something good and listen in — we’ll make you feel like you’re on the couch with us, wine in hand, ready to gossip.