In this episode, we’re talking about something that comes up for so many people in grief—especially early on—when others ask, “What do you need?” and your mind goes completely blank.

Not knowing how to answer doesn’t mean you’re doing grief wrong.
It doesn’t mean you’re ungrateful, closed off, or failing at receiving support.
Often, it means your nervous system is overloaded and focused on one thing: surviving.

Together, we explore why not knowing what you need is such a common—and normal—part of grief, why support can feel complicated even when it’s well-intentioned, and what support can look like when it needs to be smaller, slower, or different than expected.

In this episode, we explore:

• Why not knowing what you need is common in early grief—and what’s happening emotionally and biologically when your system feels blank or overwhelmed
• Why support isn’t one-size-fits-all, and how mismatched support doesn’t mean anyone failed
• The gap between wanting support and knowing how to receive it
• Why control, distance, or saying “I’m fine” can be protective—not problematic
• What support can look like when it needs to be more contained, lower-pressure, or less demanding
• Why clarity doesn’t come from trying harder, but from feeling safer over time

A gentle reminder from this episode:

• Not knowing what you need does not mean you don’t deserve support
• You are allowed to change what support looks like now
• You don’t need clarity to be worthy of care
• And you don’t need to have it figured out yet

Grief isn’t asking you to manage this well.
It’s asking you to stay—one moment, one breath at a time.

Looking for additional support?

If you’re navigating early grief and want gentle structure, guidance, and validation at your own pace, my self-guided program Through The Fog opens this coming Monday.

You can learn more and join the waitlist at laurenlentz.com under the Through The Fog tab.

Thank you for being here.
Thank you for listening.
And thank you for continuing—even in the not-knowing.

Episode 14 — Living in the Fog

Early grief often doesn’t arrive with sharp edges or clear emotions.
Instead, it shows up as fog — disorientation, slowness, numbness, and a sense of moving through life slightly out of reach.

In this episode, Lauren explores what it means to live inside the fog of grief — why it happens, how it affects daily life, and how to meet yourself with more understanding and less pressure during this tender season.

You’ll hear about:

• What “the fog” of grief actually feels like — mentally, emotionally, and physically
• Why fog, numbness, and disorientation are protective responses, not signs of failure
• How daily tasks can feel overwhelming in early grief (and how to soften expectations)
• The emotional waves and contrasts that often arise unexpectedly
• Gentle curiosity as a way to stay present without forcing clarity or healing
• Small, grounding micro-actions that help you feel steadier inside the haze

Lauren also introduces Through the Fog, a gentle, self-guided companion created for early grief — and for anyone who still feels unsteady, disconnected, or unsure of their footing after loss. The course includes short videos, small workbooks, grounding practices, and emotional language designed to support you without pressure to “move on” or perform your grief.

Interested in Through the Fog?

You can add yourself to the waitlist in one of two ways:

• Visit www.laurenlentz.com
  and click the Through the Fog tab - where you will find the "Join The Waitlist" button
• Or send Lauren a DM on Instagram @imsorrywerefriends with your email and a note that you’d like to be added

The course isn’t available yet (real soon), but joining the waitlist ensures you’ll be notified when it’s ready.

If you’re feeling foggy, slow, or not quite yourself — this episode is a reminder that you’re not broken. You’re adjusting. And you don’t have to do that alone.

Episode 13: The Days That Bring You to Your Knees

In this episode, we talk about shock, sudden loss, grief waves, and the ways grief can show up unexpectedly in the body.

Gentle note for listeners:
Some of what’s shared here may feel activating or tender. You’re invited to listen at your own pace. Pausing, stepping away, skipping sections, or coming back another day is always okay. You don’t need to push through anything here. Your body gets to lead.

This episode explores:

• What shock actually feels like after loss
• Why grief doesn’t come all at once—and why waves are normal
• How triggers can show up suddenly and physically
• Why being “brought to your knees” isn’t failure, but a human response to love and loss
• Reframing strength when this life wasn’t chosen

If you’re in the early days of grief—or finding yourself knocked down by moments you didn’t see coming—I created Through The Fog, a 6-week self-guided program designed to offer steadiness and support when everything feels disorienting and heavy. There’s no rush and no expectation of progress—just a reminder that you don’t have to do this alone.
Available the last week of January.

Thank you for being here. I’m really glad you found your way to this space.

Explore my website for offerings like 1:1 and group grief support, and a glimpse into Through The Fog. Www.laurenlentz.com

Follow me on Instagram for more resources, insights, and community support at @imsorrywerefriends

Episode 12: New Year’s Resolutions — When You’re Just Trying to Survive

When “fresh starts” miss the mark in grief

January often arrives with pressure — to improve, reset, optimize, and become a “better” version of yourself. But when you’re grieving, that language can feel disconnected, overwhelming, or even cruel.

In this episode, I share why traditional New Year’s resolutions often don’t fit when you’re in survival mode — and why that doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong.

Drawing from my own first New Year after losing Kevin, we explore how grief narrows capacity, shifts priorities, and asks something very different of us than transformation or self-improvement.

This episode is for you if:

• You’re moving into the New Year feeling heavy instead of hopeful
• Resolutions feel impossible or out of sync right now
• You’re tired of being asked to “push through”
• You’re just trying to survive — day by day, moment by moment

In this episode, we talk about:

• Why resolution culture doesn’t align with grief
• How survival is not failure — it’s the work
• Why healing doesn’t come through restriction or discipline
• Letting go of “new year, new you” pressure
• Choosing gentler intentions, boundaries, and permissions
• Meeting yourself exactly where you are

You don’t need to become someone new.
You don’t need to make big promises.
And you don’t need to take anything away from yourself to prove you’re healing.

If all you can do right now is survive — that is more than enough.

Connect with Me

You can find me on Instagram at @imsorrywerefriends
or learn more about my work at www.laurenlentz.com

If this episode resonated, I’d love it if you shared it with someone who may need permission to move slowly this season.

Episode 11: Anticipating the New Year — A Year Without You In It

The days between Christmas and New Year’s can feel strangely heavy—quiet, suspended, and emotionally charged. In this episode, Lauren speaks to the often unspoken fear that surfaces as the calendar prepares to turn: How do I step into a year that doesn’t include someone essential?

Drawing from her own experience on New Year’s Eve 2019, Lauren explores the grief that can arise in this liminal stretch of time—the tension between wanting time to move forward and wanting it to stop entirely. This episode is a gentle companion for anyone who feels unready, resistant, or overwhelmed by the idea of a “new beginning” after loss.

In this episode, we explore:

• Why the New Year can feel especially painful and alienating when you’re grieving
• The quiet fear of leaving behind the last year your person was part of
• How cultural pressure around optimism and resolutions can clash with grief
• Letting go of the idea of a “good year” and embracing softer language—a survivable year, a steadier year
• Ways love continues, even as loss changes form
• Simple, supportive ways to care for yourself during this transition
• Naming the contradictions of grief—holding joy and sorrow at the same time
• A gentle question to help you enter the New Year with more support and less pressure

This episode is not about fixing grief, rushing healing, or forcing hope. It’s about honoring where you actually are—and allowing yourself to cross into the New Year in a way that feels honest, protective, and humane.

✨ You don’t have to want the year.
You don’t have to be ready.
You just have to enter it—one step at a time.

🎧 Next episode: New Year’s Resolutions — Just Trying to Survive
We’ll talk about what it really means to approach a new year while grieving, and how to set intentions that honor your reality—not the version of you the world expects.

Thank you for being here.

To work with Lauren:
Lauren offers grief coaching for widows navigating life after loss, including 1:1 support and group programs. You can learn more at www.laurenlentz.com

To connect with Lauren:
Connect with Lauren on Instagram at @imsorrywerefriends for ongoing support, reflections, and community.

Episode 10 Show Notes: A Different Kind of Christmas — Grief, Gifts, and Your Limits

In this episode, I share my first Christmas without Kevin — the “firsts,” the heartbreak, and the unexpected lessons about grief, love, and what we can actually hold during the holidays. We explore:

• How grief shifts meaning, making traditions and gifts feel heavy, distant, or empty.
• Why gifts can feel insignificant — and why that clarity isn’t failure.
• The idea of lowering the Christmas bar to protect your energy and honor your reality.
• Gentle ways to stay connected — to yourself, your memories, and others — without overextending.
• How quiet, tender, and even messy moments matter because they meet you where you actually are.

Resources & Ways to Work With Me

If you want support navigating grief this season or beyond, here are some ways we can work together:

• 1:1 Grief Coaching – Tailored support for widows navigating the early stages or ongoing grief. Find out more: [1:1 Grief Support]
• Re-Imagine – A 12-week group program for widows ready to explore life after loss in depth (next session, March 2026). Learn more here: [Re-Imagine Group Grief Support]

You can also connect with me on social media:

• Instagram: [@imsorrywerefriends]

If this episode resonated with you, I’d be so grateful if you shared it with someone who might need it. And don’t miss Episode 11: Anticipating the New Year — A Year Without You in It, where we explore stepping into a new year when the person you love isn’t coming with you.

The holidays after loss can feel deeply confusing. You may want the cards, the invites, and the connection—and simultaneously feel unable to open an envelope or show up to a gathering. This internal push-and-pull is not a failure or a contradiction. It’s grief.

In this episode, Lauren explores the griever’s holiday paradox—the tension between wanting to be seen and wanting to disappear—and how this experience can unintentionally create distance between grievers and their support systems.

Lauren is joined by Rio Richards, Grief and Trauma Therapist and Coach, whose grounded wisdom and unexpected humor bring warmth to one of the most tender seasons of the year. Together, they unpack what’s happening beneath the surface for both grievers and supporters, and how to navigate the holidays with more clarity, compassion, and care.

In this episode, we explore:

• Why the holidays often intensify a griever’s desire to both connect and withdraw
• How emotional capacity and the nervous system shape holiday experiences
• Why friends and family sometimes hesitate to reach out—and what’s really driving that silence
• The “double-withdrawal” dynamic that can leave both grievers and supporters feeling alone
• Common misconceptions that lead people to avoid inviting or including a grieving person
• Gentle, compassionate ways grievers can communicate their needs without guilt
• How supporters can show up with confidence—even when they’re afraid of “saying the wrong thing”

This conversation is for widows and all grievers, and for the people who love them—those who want to show up, but aren’t always sure how.

A reminder from this episode:

You can want the invitation and still say no.
You can need space and still long to be remembered.
And supporters don’t need to be perfect to be meaningful—presence matters more than precision.

If this episode resonated, consider sharing it with someone who might need the reminder that they are not alone in this season—and that tenderness, presence, and self-compassion are still possible.

Be gentle with yourself.
Be patient with your heart.
And remember—you don’t have to navigate this alone.

Guest Spotlight: Rio Richards

Rio Richards is a Grief and Trauma Therapist and Coach who supports individuals navigating loss with honesty, humor, and deep compassion. As both a clinician and a griever herself, Rio brings a wide-angle lens to the complexities of grief—especially during the holidays.

Rio's Grief Support Menu

📍 Find Rio on Instagram: @andthatsgrief

If you're curious about Rio's work and are interested in joining her January grief portal, you can find more information HERE.

In this episode, we’re naming the emotions many widows feel during the holidays but rarely say out loud.
Jealousy. Guilt. Anger. Longing. Mixed emotions that feel contradictory and confusing.
And the shame that often follows.

I also answer listener questions submitted this week—questions so many of you are wrestling with as the season approaches.

If the holidays bring up complicated emotions for you, you’re not alone and you're not doing anything wrong. This episode will meet you right where you are.

What We Talk About in This Episode

• Why the holidays amplify heavy emotions in grief

A look at how cultural pressure to “be joyful” clashes with the reality of living in the after.

• Why jealousy and envy show up (and what they’re really pointing to)

Spoiler: It’s not about wanting someone else’s life. It’s about missing your own before-loss life.

• The guilt of not feeling festive

How guilt is tied to expectations—not failure—and why your nervous system is actually protecting you.

• Anger, frustration, and emotional sensitivity

Understanding anger as a secondary emotion and what it’s trying to tell you.

• Regret, longing, and navigating traditions that feel impossible this year

Why familiar rituals can intensify grief, and how to give yourself permission to pause, shift, or create new ones.

• Mixed emotions: joy + sadness existing together

How to honor the duality of grief without questioning your love or loyalty to your person.

Key Takeaways

• Every emotion you feel is valid. None of it makes you ungrateful or unloving.
• Duality is normal in grief. You can feel joy and heartbreak in the same breath.
• Awareness is calming. Naming an emotion helps regulate your nervous system.
• Your reactions are biological, not personal failures.
• Presence matters more than perfection. You don’t have to force holiday spirit.

Quotes From the Episode

Connect With Me

If this episode resonated with you, I would love to stay connected.
You don’t have to navigate grief alone.

• Instagram: @imsorrywerefriends
Where I share grief support, tools, and real conversations about widowhood.

• Website: laurenlentz.com
Learn more about my 1:1 coaching, group program Re-Imagine, and upcoming retreats.

• Work With Me:
If you’re ready for deeper support—whether through private coaching or group connection—you can explore current openings and offerings on my website.

I’m here walking this with you. Always.