Have you ever been so focused on taking care of everyone else that you lost yourself?

Today, I talk with Kelsee Feist, a self-certainty coach, about childhood trauma, survival mode, people-pleasing, motherhood, and losing yourself while trying to be everything for everyone.

Kelsee shares what it took to realize she was no longer okay, ask for help, and start rebuilding her relationship with herself.

We also talk about why safety can feel uncomfortable after years of living in survival mode, how unprocessed trauma affects our relationships, and what healing can look like when you finally stop putting yourself last.

⟡ WHAT I TALK ABOUT TODAY

• Healing from childhood trauma

• How to get out of survival mode

• People-pleasing and self-abandonment

• Trauma, anxiety, and mental health

• Losing yourself in motherhood

• How trauma affects relationships

• Setting boundaries without guilt

• Learning to trust yourself again

• Nervous system and survival mode

• Rebuilding self-worth after trauma
  

⟡ ABOUT THE HOST, NAOMI SPARKS

Naomi Sparks is a mom, wife, healing coach, and a cult survivor. She grew up in a tightly controlled religious cult in Northern California and spent years disconnected from her true self. She now helps others heal their nervous system from trauma, rebuild trust in their bodies, and reconnect with who they are beneath survival mode.

→ Join ⁠The Regulated & Rising Collective

→ Website| theunapologetictruthh.com

→ IG | ⁠ @theunapologetictruthh⁠

⟡ ABOUT THE GUEST, KELSEE FEIST

Kelsee Feist is a Self-Certainty Coach, author, and founder. Through her signature Self-Certainty Method; Reflect, Refract, Radiate. She helps women recognize the self-abandonment hiding beneath selflessness, break the patterns keeping them stuck in survival mode, and become unshakable in who they are.

Her coaching program, The Unshakable Woman, helps women rebuild the relationship they have with themselves so they can transform how they love, lead, parent, and live—without disappearing inside the roles they hold.

Kelsee’s work is rooted in one powerful belief: Selflessness didn’t make me a good person. It made me disappear.

→ Kelsee’s IG | @kelsee.feist

⟡ LET’S KEEP THE CONVERSATION GOING

If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs to hear it. 💚 Conversations like this help break cycles of silence and bring clarity to experiences many people struggle to name.

You are not broken. You are healing.

Produced by AOLI.fm.

Losing your sense of self is a common response to childhood trauma. Years of people pleasing, survival mode, and unhealthy relationships can leave you disconnected from your own voice, needs, and identity.

Healing childhood trauma means rebuilding self-trust, setting healthy boundaries, and reconnecting with who you truly are. One small choice at a time.

⟡ WHAT I TALK ABOUT TODAY

• Childhood trauma

• Losing your sense of self

• People pleasing and trauma responses

• How to rebuild self-trust

• How to set healthy boundaries

• Healing from childhood trauma

• How to reconnect with yourself
  

⟡ ABOUT THE HOST, NAOMI SPARKS

Naomi Sparks is a mom, wife, healing coach, and a cult survivor. She grew up in a tightly controlled religious cult in Northern California and spent years disconnected from her true self. She now helps others heal their nervous system from trauma, rebuild trust in their bodies, and reconnect with who they are beneath survival mode.

→ Join ⁠The Regulated & Rising Collective

→ Website| theunapologetictruthh.com

→ IG | ⁠ @theunapologetictruthh⁠

⟡ LET’S KEEP THE CONVERSATION GOING

If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs to hear it. 💚 Conversations like this help break cycles of silence and bring clarity to experiences many people struggle to name.

You are not broken. You are healing.

⟡ Produced by AOLI.fm.

Saying yes when your body is screaming no. Apologizing for things that were never your fault. Feeling guilty just for resting.

Today, I'm talking about why saying no feels so hard, especially for trauma survivors and moms who learned early that being easy to please was the safest way to feel loved.

⟡ WHAT I TALK ABOUT TODAY

• Why saying no feels so hard
• People-pleasing trauma response
• Boundaries vs walls
• Chronic apologizing and trauma
• People pleasing mistaken for kindness
• Setting boundaries as a parent
• Control vs guidance with kids
• Guilt after setting a boundary
• People pleasing and identity loss
• Boundaries without losing love
  

⟡ ABOUT THE HOST, NAOMI SPARKS

Naomi Sparks is a mom, wife, healing coach, and a cult survivor. She grew up in a tightly controlled religious cult in Northern California and spent years disconnected from her true self. She now helps others heal their nervous system from trauma, rebuild trust in their bodies, and reconnect with who they are beneath survival mode.

→ Join ⁠The Regulated & Rising Collective

→ Website| theunapologetictruthh.com

→ IG | ⁠ @theunapologetictruthh⁠

⟡ LET’S KEEP THE CONVERSATION GOING

If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs to hear it. 💚 Conversations like this help break cycles of silence and bring clarity to experiences many people struggle to name.

You are not broken. You are healing.

⟡ Produced by AOLI.fm.⟡

Some of us learned how to survive long before we ever learned how to feel safe.

And then one day, you become a mother yourself, looking at your kids with so much love while quietly realizing how much younger you needed that same safety too.

Today, I'm talking about breaking generational trauma as a mom, recognizing childhood trauma responses in adults, and healing your nervous system from survival mode while raising your own children.

⟡ WHAT I TALK ABOUT TODAY

• Breaking generational trauma as a mom

• Childhood trauma responses in adults

• Healing nervous system from survival mode

• Signs of repressed childhood trauma in adults

• Reparenting yourself while raising kids

• Hyper independence as a trauma response

• Grieving childhood while raising children

• Healing from childhood emotional neglect

• Trauma responses showing up in motherhood

• Nervous system regulation for moms
  

⟡ ABOUT THE HOST, NAOMI SPARKS

Naomi Sparks is a mom, wife, healing coach, and a cult survivor. She grew up in a tightly controlled religious cult in Northern California and spent years disconnected from her true self. She now helps others heal their nervous system from trauma, rebuild trust in their bodies, and reconnect with who they are beneath survival mode.

→ Join ⁠The Regulated & Rising Collective

→ Website| theunapologetictruthh.com

→ IG | ⁠ @theunapologetictruthh⁠

⟡ LET’S KEEP THE CONVERSATION GOING

If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs to hear it. 💚 Conversations like this help break cycles of silence and bring clarity to experiences many people struggle to name.

You are not broken. You are healing.

⟡ Produced by AOLI.fm.

Most people are waiting for things to get bad enough.

Bad enough to rest. Bad enough to leave. Bad enough to finally say, I can't keep doing this.

So many of us have been taught, somewhere along the way, that pain has to become unbearable before it counts. That we have to earn our healing through suffering. That if we're still functioning, we're still fine. And that belief keeps so many people stuck in survival mode long after they deserved to get out of it.

That's exactly what I'm getting into today.

⟡ WHAT I TALK ABOUT TODAY

• You don't have to hit rock bottom to start healing

• Survival mode vs. actually living

• Nervous system burnout signs

• Chronic stress and emotional exhaustion

• Why peace can feel unsafe

• Exhaustion equals worth: unlearning it

• Giving yourself permission to heal

• Guided nervous system reset

• The Regulated and Rising Collective
  

⟡ ABOUT THE HOST, NAOMI SPARKS

Naomi Sparks is a cult survivor, healing coach, mom, and wife. She grew up in a tightly controlled religious cult in Northern California and spent years disconnected from her true self. She now helps others heal their nervous system from trauma, rebuild trust in their bodies, and reconnect with who they are beneath survival mode.

→ Join ⁠The Regulated & Rising Collective

→ Website| theunapologetictruthh.com

→ IG | ⁠ @theunapologetictruthh⁠

⟡ LET’S KEEP THE CONVERSATION GOING

If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs to hear it. 💚 Conversations like this help break cycles of silence and bring clarity to experiences many people struggle to name.

You are not broken. You are healing.

⟡⟡⟡

Produced by AOLI.fm.

There's something nobody tells you about survival mode.

It doesn't always look like falling apart.

Sometimes it looks like being the strongest person in the room. The one who holds it all together, never asks for help and keeps pushing through. And when you've been surviving long enough, you stop questioning it. You just call it your personality.

Today, I'm breaking down the real signs that your nervous system is still stuck in survival, and what it feels like to start coming out of it.

⟡ WHAT I TALK ABOUT TODAY

• Survival mode signs disguised as personality traits

• Hypervigilance symptoms and nervous system exhaustion after trauma

• Emotional avoidance through busyness in trauma recovery

• Rest guilt and why slowing down feels unsafe to a dysregulated nervous system

• Emotional numbness and dissociation as trauma survival responses

• Hyper-independence as a trauma response in high-control environments

• High-functioning anxiety and chronic fight or flight

• Nervous system healing and coming out of survival mode

• What it feels like to stop surviving and start living

• Healing in small moments vs. dramatic breakthroughs
  

⟡ ABOUT THE HOST, NAOMI SPARKS

Naomi Sparks is a mom, wife, healing coach, and a cult survivor. She grew up in a tightly controlled religious cult in Northern California and spent years disconnected from her true self. She now helps others heal their nervous system from trauma, rebuild trust in their bodies, and reconnect with who they are beneath survival mode.

→ Join The Regulated & Rising Collective

→ Website| theunapologetictruthh.com

→ IG | ⁠ @theunapologetictruthh⁠

⟡ LET’S KEEP THE CONVERSATION GOING

If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs to hear it. 💚 Conversations like this help break cycles of silence and bring clarity to experiences many people struggle to name.

You are not broken. You are healing.

⟡⟡Produced by AOLI.fm.

There's a story a lot of us have been telling ourselves for years.

That we're lazy. Unmotivated. Lacking discipline.

But what if that story was never true? What if your body has been in survival mode for so long that rest started feeling dangerous, slowing down started feeling wrong, and doing nothing started feeling like failure?

That's not laziness. That's dysregulation. And today, we're talking about the difference.

⟡ WHAT I TALK ABOUT TODAY

• Nervous system dysregulation vs. laziness

• Survival mode symptoms that look like personality flaws, including procrastination, shutdown, brain fog, and emotional numbness

• How chronic stress and childhood trauma rewire your body's ability to rest and feel safe

• Why peace can trigger anxiety when your nervous system grew up in chaos

• The reason productivity guilt keeps showing up

• How hypervigilance, people pleasing, and emotional shutdown become survival responses that outlive the danger

• Shifting from "what is wrong with me?" to "what does my body need right now?"

• The grief that comes with realizing how long survival mode kept you disconnected from yourself

• What I'm building next: the Regulated and Rising Collective
  

⟡ ABOUT THE HOST, NAOMI SPARKS

Naomi Sparks is a mom, wife, healing coach, and a cult survivor. She grew up in a tightly controlled religious cult in Northern California and spent years disconnected from her true self. She now helps others heal their nervous system from trauma, rebuild trust in their bodies, and reconnect with who they are beneath survival mode.

→ Website| theunapologetictruthh.com

→ IG | ⁠ @theunapologetictruthh⁠→ Regulated and Rising Collective → COMING SOON

⟡ LET’S KEEP THE CONVERSATION GOING

If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs to hear it. 💚 Conversations like this help break cycles of silence and bring clarity to experiences many people struggle to name.

You are not broken. You are healing.

⟡⟡

Produced by AOLI.fm.

Why won't your body calm down? Because no one ever taught you how.

Not your parents. Not your school. Not anyone who told you to just breathe, just relax, just think positive. They gave you words. But your body doesn't respond to words when it's still running on years of survival mode programming.

And that's what this episode is about.

⟡ WHAT I TALK ABOUT TODAY

• Anxiety isn't in your head, it lives in your body
• Childhood trauma programs your nervous system to stay on high alert
• Why "just calm down" never works
• Simple nervous system regulation tools for when anxiety rises
• How to interrupt a thought spiral without fighting your mind
• Why healing feels harder before it feels better
• Why can calm feel more unsafe than chaos
• Felt safety and how to build it moment by moment
• The difference between forcing calm and teaching your body that it is safe
  

⟡ ABOUT THE HOST, NAOMI SPARKS
Naomi Sparks is a mom, wife, healing coach, and a cult survivor. She grew up in a tightly controlled religious cult in Northern California and spent years disconnected from her true self. She now helps others heal their nervous systemfrom trauma, rebuild trust in their bodies, and reconnect with who they are beneath survival mode.

→ Website| theunapologetictruthh.com

→ IG | @theunapologetictruthh⁠

⟡ LET’S KEEP THE CONVERSATION GOING
If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs to hear it. 💚 Conversations like this help break cycles of silence and bring clarity to experiences many people struggle to name.

You are not broken. You are healing.

⟡⟡⟡Produced by AOLI.fm.