You already know why you drink, and it has not stopped you. Leanna Lapidus, a clinical hypnotherapist who spent a decade at Passages Malibu, joins Massimo Rigotti to explain why a craving is a conditioned program installed by repetition and feeling, why the discipline that built a career cannot out-argue it, how relapse starts in thought and emotion long before the glass, and what returns when the program finally changes.

• Insight is not the problem. A craving is a conditioned response the subconscious learned through repetition.
• The program is installed by feeling. The first drink quiets the overthinking mind, and the cycle becomes a chase for that first warmth and comfort until life begins to hurt.
• The discipline that wins at work does not reach the emotional part that addiction speaks to. High achievers win this battle when they use the same goal process with a why big enough to overpower the desire to use.
• Hypnotherapy is guided, not controlled. She quiets the mind, finds the root, such as insecurity, unworthiness, or imposter syndrome, and the client chooses the new response, visualizes it, and feels it so the change is real.
• Relapse happens in thought and emotion first. One invited thought, like nobody will know, links to a bigger story, and a deal that falls through or a hard night at home makes it louder. Catch the thought, call it a lie and reach for your why.
• Massimo's SOBER move this week is the rehearsal. Ten minutes before your most predictable window, close your eyes and rehearse the next 20 minutes in first person and real time, including the moment you want the drink and you not taking it. Then live it, write one line about what your body did and what you felt, and repeat for seven days.

00:00 Why insight alone never stops a craving
00:35 How a craving becomes a conditioned program
01:49 Why people keep chasing the first feeling
03:39 Why the discipline that wins at work loses here
05:15 How a big enough why overpowers the desire to use
06:32 What actually happens in a hypnotherapy session
08:48 When it is time for a doctor or a treatment center
10:00 Why relapse happens before you pick up the glass
11:45 How one unchallenged thought builds the story that says yes
13:04 What Passages Malibu taught her about readiness
15:05 How growing up around addiction built her compassion
16:47 What choice means when you feel you have none
18:40 Why the SOBER Method stalls at behavior
19:59 What comes back first when the program changes
20:43 How to run this week's rehearsal
21:35 What she would tell her younger self

🎁 Free gift! The exact 5 tools I use with clients to name what is really driving the urge to numb, before it takes over. Grab them free: https://sobermethod.com/5tools
📘 Digital S.O.B.E.R. Method, available now: https://amazon.com/dp/B0H93ZTVS9

If you want lasting sobriety without walking into a room that could follow the job or the license, start at https://sobermethod.com.

Leanna Lapidus, C.Ht., is a Los Angeles clinical hypnotherapist and transformational coach who has spent more than 15 years helping people heal anxiety, trauma, and addiction at the root, including a decade as a clinical hypnotherapist at Passages Malibu. Trained at the Hypnosis Motivation Institute, she grew up in a family affected by addiction and is the author of You Have a Choice: The Proven 5 Step Method to End Suffering and Start Living. She joins this episode to explain why a craving is a program the conscious mind cannot out-argue, and how that program actually gets changed. Start at https://www.leannalapidus.com instagram.com/@leanna_lapidus

He was closing real deals the whole time, so nobody needed to ask what else was going on. Nick Mechanic, a former Hollywood agent, joins Massimo Rigotti to tell the story of a double life that ran on commission checks, cocaine, and methamphetamine, the tells that gave him away long before the law did, the Beverly Hills arrest that did not stop him, and the meetings, sponsor, and purpose that keep him sober today.

• Performing well at work can hide addiction from everyone, including you. Nick kept his job because he was really good at what he did, even while he was hungover and missing a lot of work, and he admits he thought he was bigger than he was.
• The body tells on you before you confess. A whistle through the nose, sweating through staff meetings, and a clenched jaw made his use obvious to the people around him.
• An arrest is not always the bottom. Nick kept living that insanity for three more years after the police searched his house, because, as he says, "Consequences don't matter to addicts and alcoholics."
• Help landed when it came from people who had lived it. A psychologist who did not share his experience could not reach him, so he needed like minded people to get a hold of his disease.
• Recovery means refusing to romance the past. Nick says, "This is a thinking disease," and he no longer prays to get his old life back.
• Daily accountability keeps the mindset in check.
• Massimo's Observe move this week: "I want you to keep observing and journaling your own behaviors daily."

00:00 What shows up before a double life collapses
00:37 Why closing real deals hid the functioning addict
02:30 How the tells gave him away on set and in meetings
04:28 Why help only worked from people who had lived it
05:22 What the agency years rewarded and why it never felt like enough
07:17 How using turned into dealing when cash flow got tight
08:27 Why a Beverly Hills arrest did not stop the insanity
12:49 How a clean record until 40 shaped his case
16:21 Why he refuses to romance the past
17:36 How the excuses piled up when he was calling in sick
19:08 How purpose and humility keep the addictive mindset in check
21:33 Why consequences do not matter to addicts and alcoholics
22:43 How friends, meetings, and Sunday messages keep him accountable
24:32 What gets Nick out of bed in the morning

• 🎁 Free gift! The exact 5 tools I use with clients to name what is really driving the urge to numb, before it takes over. Grab them free: https://sobermethod.com/5tools
• 📘 Digital SOBER Method, available now: https://amazon.com/dp/B0H93ZTVS9

If you want lasting sobriety without walking into a room that could follow the job or the license, start at https://sobermethod.com.

Nick Mechanic is a former Hollywood agent who made movie and TV deals for actors, writers, directors, and producers before addiction, drug dealing, and arrest took that life apart. Today he is sober, active in a 12 step program, still selling TV series, and the host of The Mechanic with Alan Katz, as well as an executive producer of John Kiriakou's Dead Drop. He joins this episode to name the hidden tells of a functioning addict and what finally changed. Listen to The Mechanic at
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-mechanic/id1890537332
and Dead Drop at
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/john-kiriakous-dead-drop/id1844905790

A father who solves problems for a living learns that love cannot control his son's addiction. On this World Mental Health Day 2026, a bonus episode of the SOBER Method Podcast Perspectives series, Katie Rizzo returns, and for the first time a guest is not alone. Her husband, Nick Rizzo, shares the father's side of losing their oldest son, Nicholas, to an accidental overdose.

Nick talks about the anxious, sensitive, soccer-loving boy he raised, the boundaries he set, the night he called the police, and the regret that still visits him. The turn comes when he admits he can hold two truths at once: that it felt like his job to protect his son, and that he never could have controlled the addiction. He describes going back to work two weeks later and telling no one, learning guitar to honor Nicholas, and why staying connected in Al-Anon and grief groups helped more than ruminating alone. If you are still using and feel your parents' anger, Nick has a message for you: they still love you, and nothing you did changed that.

Chapters

00:00 Meeting Nicholas Through His Dad's Eyes
04:16 Why Love and Anger Lived Side by Side
09:38 Why a Fixer Couldn't Outwork Addiction
14:27 How Al-Anon Helped Save Their Marriage
22:11 Your Parents Still Love You
30:35 Why Men Grieve in Silence at Work
35:46 How a Guitar Became a Way to Honor Him
42:20 One True Sentence to Carry This Month

• Katie's first episode S1E10, He Wasn't an Addict...He Was My Son: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A_cX_TtBCTM
• Katie Rizzo, author of The Trimesters of Grief: https://katierizzo.com

Work with Massimo: https://sobermethod.com

Your future is SOBER™

Everyone still thinks you are fine, and that is the most dangerous part. Mark G. Astor, Esq., joins Massimo Rigotti to name the exact story high-achieving professionals tell themselves to hide addiction in plain sight, why success keeps validating that story, where the first crack usually shows, and how Florida's Baker Act (and every state's version of it) can save a life or trap someone when there is no oversight. This is the Observe work of the S.O.B.E.R. Method, for people who want sobriety and cannot walk into a public room to admit it.

• Professionals are trained as problem solvers, so ego plus that training keeps them from saying I have a problem and I need help, even while the one problem they cannot solve is the one affecting them personally.
• Success makes hiding easier. Money, clients, the house, and the car validate the story that nothing needs fixing, so the pour or the pattern can keep going longer.
• The first crack for licensed professionals often looks like a DUI, a Baker Act, a missed filing deadline, unanswered clients, or someone saying you sounded intoxicated. Outward success can still hide a private crisis.
• Chasing the win and burnout are linked to substance use. Under the facade, the same go-go-go Type A drive that built the career can metastasize until everything explodes.
• Every state has a temporary custody statute like Florida's Baker Act. Done right, it can save a life.
• Families get denial wrong twice. They hope the loved one will grow out of it, and they wait until treatment centers, arrests, and near misses have already piled up. While the loved one is in treatment, the family needs a program too.
• Massimo's Observe move this week: pick one place where you keep telling yourself I've got this under control, and you have not tested that story in a while. Write the exact story with no polish. Ask whether it would hold up if someone else said it out loud to your face. If it would not, that is your Observe.

00:00 Why everyone still thinking you are fine is the danger
00:27 How professionals hide the one problem they cannot solve
01:37 Why success validates the story that nothing needs fixing
02:17 How the first crack shows when clients and courts notice
03:54 Why chasing the win quietly destroys the licensed professional
05:41 How the Baker Act works and why every state has a version
07:20 Why privatized detention with no oversight gets abused
08:56 How a voluntary check-in can become a lockup
10:30 Why Mark built a practice that saves families after his own crisis
18:44 How family cases shifted from substance use to mental health
23:13 Why families get denial wrong when the loved one still performs
26:08 How denial finally cracks for high achievers
27:16 How to run this week's Observe move

• 🎁 Free gift! The exact 5 tools I use with clients to name what is really driving the urge to numb, before it takes over. Grab them free: https://sobermethod.com/5tools
• 📘 Digital S.O.B.E.R. Method, available now: https://amazon.com/dp/B0H93ZTVS9

If you want lasting sobriety without walking into a room that could follow the job or the license, start at https://sobermethod.com/services.

Mark G. Astor, Esq., is a Florida attorney whose practice centers on behavioral health law for families, including Baker Act and Marchman Act work, guardianship, and getting loved ones out of detention that has gone sideways. He joins this episode to name how high-achieving professionals hide addiction behind success, and what finally cracks the story. Find him at https://mentalhealthaddictionlawfirm.com

Never the drink first. Always one hot thought you did not catch. Bernard Glos, Ph.D., joins Massimo Rigotti to walk through AFROG (Alive, Feel better, Real, Others, Goals), the five question test from Maxie Maultsby's rational behavior therapy that catches a hot thought before the craving wins, and why addiction-making family rules quietly load the mind for a snap. This is the Observe work of the S.O.B.E.R. Method, for people who want sobriety and cannot walk into a public room to admit it.

• AFROG is Alive, Feel better, Real, Others, and Goals. Run the five questions on your self-talk so thoughts lead to chosen behavior instead of a snap.
• A hot thought drives immediate reactive behavior. A less hot thought may still be unhelpful, but it will not send you back to the drink or the fight in that moment.
• Life splits into two piles: the huge pile you do not control and the smaller pile you do. Messing around in the big pile makes you miserable. Stop, look, and listen, then choose.
• Addiction-making families teach be perfect, play safe, do not be selfish, stick to the script, and do not show your feelings. Those rules move you away from reality and load hot thoughts later.
• Faye's formula is expectations minus reality equals pain. The same core beliefs that drive kids in detention drive high achievers at work.
• Empowerment with dignity and respect changes people. Even violent kids protect the adult who treats them that way and who they believe actually cares.
• Massimo's Observe move this week: the next time you feel a craving, an urge, or the pull to snap, write the exact sentence running through your head. That is your hot thought. Then run two AFROG questions. Does this thinking keep me healthy? Is this based on what is real? If it fails either question, you caught it before it caught you.

00:00 Why the drink is never first
00:32 How AFROG names the five question test
04:12 How pinball reacting loses control of your life
05:43 Why a hot thought drives the snap
07:07 How stop look listen raises the odds
07:57 How mindfulness catches you before the urge wins
09:28 How addiction-making family rules load hot thoughts
11:51 Why stuffing feelings ends in a blowup
15:25 Why detention kids and high achievers share the same rules
15:46 How Faye's formula names expectations minus reality
26:01 Why dignity and respect keep even violent kids protective
29:24 How to run this week's Observe move

• 🎁 Free gift! The exact 5 tools I use with clients to name what is really driving the urge to numb, before it takes over. Grab them free: https://sobermethod.com/5tools
• 📘 Digital S.O.B.E.R. Method, available now: https://amazon.com/dp/B0H93ZTVS9

If you want lasting sobriety without walking into a room that could follow the job or the license, start at https://sobermethod.com/services.

Bernard (Bernie) Glos, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist who has practiced since 1971. His career spans Benedictine University, inner-city Chicago mental health, UIC psychiatry and neuropsychology, managed care clinical director for Illinois, first clinical director at Gateway Foundation where he led Joint Commission accreditation, the DuPage County drug court design team, and a nationally recognized detention program built on thinking change and empowerment. He has worked with violent youth historically and with high-achieving adults and workplace settings more recently.

Your Future is SOBER™

Never a drink. Just a kid who learned to disappear into being useful. Lolita Guarin joins Massimo Rigotti to show how constantly needing to produce becomes the adult burnout pattern, how the CALM process (Control, Accept, Limit, Multiply) rebuilds self-trust, and why saying no will not kill you. This is the Observe and Restore work of the S.O.B.E.R. Method, for people who want sobriety and cannot walk into a public room to admit it.

• The survival skill that gets a kid through a house with addiction is often the same skill that burns the adult out: constantly needing to produce.
• Achievement can be as addictive as the bottle it grew up next to. If you only feel seen when you are producing, stopping feels like death.
• CALM is Control, Accept, Limit, and Multiply. Control asks what is yours to carry and what is not. Accept finds the silver lining without pretending the pain is fine. Limit is the courage to stop what no longer serves you. Multiply is doubling what already works.
• Loyalty to old authorities keeps high achievers stuck. Take the authorities off the pedestal. They were people with their own trauma too, and they can be wrong.
• Nobody will die if you say no. Start small. Build the muscle until boundaries feel like self-trust, not selfishness.
• If you stop performing, the wall will not fall apart. One minute of doing nothing can expose how terrified you are of resting.
• Massimo's Observe and Restore move this week: catch a yes that should have been no, write what you told yourself, run a control audit (is this mine to carry?), set one boundary out loud before Sunday, then pick one thing that refills you and do it twice.

00:00 Why disappearing into being useful still runs adult life
00:50 How constantly needing to produce names the skill
01:27 How Control separates what is yours to carry
03:25 How Accept finds a silver lining without denial
04:45 How Limit stops the madness of doing the same thing
09:27 How Multiply doubles what already works
16:49 Why the ER wake-up call forced a different life
20:22 How a one-minute phone alarm exposes self-abandonment
23:08 Why nobody will die if you say no
24:48 Why the wall will not fall if you stop performing
27:28 How to run this week's Observe and Restore move
28:39 What keeps Lolita putting one foot in front of the other

• 🎁 Free gift! The exact 5 tools I use with clients to name what is really driving the urge to numb, before it takes over. Grab them free: https://sobermethod.com/5tools
• 📘 Digital S.O.B.E.R. Method, available now: https://amazon.com/dp/B0H93ZTVS9

If you want lasting sobriety without walking into a room that could follow you back to your job or risk your license, start at https://sobermethod.com/services.

Lolita Guarin is a stress management coach and the author of Stress Management for Adult Children of Alcoholics. Born in Lithuania and later an immigrant to the US, she built the CALM process after people-pleasing and overwork put her in the emergency room. She helps high achievers trade performing for real self-trust. Start at https://www.beamazingyou.com/ instagram.com/@be_amazing_you

Your Future is SOBER™

You finally decide to change, and something pulls you back down. Bryan Blackmon joins Massimo Rigotti to show how crabs in a bucket keep you stuck, why the crab is often you, and how CRAB: Clean, Resilient, Adaptability, and Belief hold the climb when the old off switch is gone. This is the Behavior and Execute work of the S.O.B.E.R. Method, for people who want sobriety and cannot walk into a public room to admit it.

Key Takeaways

• Crabs in a bucket do not need a lid. The old crowd, the invitation, and the voice that says who are you kidding all pull you back down.
• About eight times out of ten, Bryan found the crab was himself. Blaming the bucket is easier than owning the choice to stay in it.
• No one is coming to save you. Support helps, but the climb only starts when you put one foot in front of the other.
• CRAB is Clean, Resilient, Adaptability, and Belief. Clean is mind, body, and spirit, not substances alone. Belief that you are worthy is the foundation the rest stacks on.
• Firm resolve after the aha moment lets the wrong people fall away without burning every relationship on day one.
• The morning at the mirror landed four words that rehabs never stuck: you are worth it. If you are already waiting for that moment, you may already be in it.
• Massimo's Behavior and Execute move this week: run a bucket audit, set one boundary before you walk into the room, add one crew member who is climbing the same direction, and journal what shifted each night.

Timestamps
00:00 Why crabs in a bucket need no lid
01:01 How to spot if the crab is you
03:50 Why no one is coming to save you
05:26 How firm resolve drops the wrong crowd
09:26 How the four CRAB pillars work
17:45 How to hold pressure without numbing
34:23 Why you are worth it finally sticks
43:36 How to run a bucket audit this week

Resources & Links

• 🎁 Free gift! The exact 5 tools I use with clients to name what is really driving the urge to numb, before it takes over. Grab them free: https://sobermethod.com/5tools
• 📘 Digital S.O.B.E.R. Method, available now: https://amazon.com/dp/B0H93ZTVS9

Call to Action If you want lasting sobriety without walking into a room that could follow the job or the license, start at https://sobermethod.com/services.

About the Guest Bryan Blackmon went from sleeping in his car on the streets of California to nine hundred days sober, running live event productions with no room for error, and leading a recovery community over one hundred and forty thousand strong built on four words: you are worth it.
Bryan Blackmon / Crab Crew Life: https://crabcrewlife.com
All of Bryan's links: https://linktr.ee/bryanandelaine

Your Future is SOBER™

If life keeps knocking you down, the next bit of strength does not come from carrying it alone. Mia Godfrey joins Massimo Rigotti to show how community, honest pain, and faith rebuild a life after loss, and why numbing only postpones the work. This is the Restore step of the S.O.B.E.R. Method, for people who want sobriety and will not walk into a public room to admit it.

Key Takeaways

• One hour at a time did not give Mia hope. What helped was community and being honest enough to let someone else step in.
• Performing fine and mixing a drink with medication only numbed the pain, but it did not process it.
• Feeling buried does not mean you are broken. Mia's mother taught her that a buried person is a seed.
• Do not force someone else's stages of grief. Be in the moment, cry if you need to, and then do not stay stuck.
• Trading alcohol for overwork is still an addiction if the pain underneath is untouched.
• Buried Not Broken exists because Mia's sister asked her to tell the story. Putting it in the open brought healing.
• Massimo's restore step this week is to name grief when it rises, to avoid reaching for the off switch, and then to take one act, a prayer, a call, or write the memory down.

Timestamps
00:00 Where the next strength comes from
02:19 Why numbing never processes pain
04:31 How faith carries you through loss
06:20 Why buried does not mean broken
08:08 How to grieve without rushing it
12:47 When moonshine became the off switch
18:01 Why she told the whole story
23:39 How to take one restore act

Resources & Links

• Free gift. The exact 5 tools I use with clients to name what is really driving the urge to numb, before it takes over. Grab them free: https://sobermethod.com/5tools
• Digital S.O.B.E.R. Method, available now: https://amazon.com/dp/B0H93ZTVS9

Call to Action
If you want lasting sobriety, Massimo understands the unique pressures that drive elite professionals toward substance dependency. Start at https://sobermethod.com/services.

About the Guest
Mia Godfrey is the author of Buried Not Broken and rebuilt after loss after loss by letting people in and telling the truth. Start with her work at https://miagodfrey.com/.

Your Future is SOBER™