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Most of us spend a lot of time listening to the voice in our heads, especially when it turns negative. This week Carly looks at what happens when you start answering back instead.

She explores research by psychologist Ethan Kross showing that talking to yourself using “you” or your own name helps you perform better under stress and see challenges as less threatening. She also looks at how Marcus Aurelius used his private journal to coach himself.

In this episode:

• Why we listen to our negative self-talk as if it’s the truth
• How using your own name creates helpful distance
• The sage and the gremlin
• A simple way to coach yourself in the moment

Sources:

• Martyn Lloyd-Jones, Spiritual Depression: Its Causes and Cure (1965)
• Kross et al. (2014), “Self-talk as a regulatory mechanism: How you do it matters,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology
• Moser et al. (2017), “Third-person self-talk facilitates emotion regulation without engaging cognitive control,” Scientific Reports
• Ethan Kross, Chatter (2021)
• Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

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Your attention is being hijacked every day, and it is quietly shaping the life you get. Dr Paul Taylor and Adam Williams reveal how to spot the hidden cost of distraction, reclaim control, and start directing your attention toward what actually matters. Adam Williams, author of Mega Focus: Join the Attention Revolution, spent 30 years working inside the attention economy in advertising, innovation, promotions, and events before switching sides when he realised he was checking emails instead of being present with his daughter.That shift led him to build a practical framework for understanding why we reach for our phones, why we avoid hard things, and why so much of modern life runs on autopilot.

You will discover:

• Why attention matters more than talent, intelligence, or motivation
• The difference between the "builder" and the "architect" in your brain
• How the "attention tax" exposes the opportunity cost of distraction
• Why a quick email or "quick question" can destroy deep work for nearly half an hour
• How sleep, energy, and environment shape the amount of attention you really have
• The four core purchasing triggers that advertisers use to win your focus
• Why boredom, discomfort, and effort are not enemies, but the raw material of creativity and progress

Paul and Adam also unpack the psychology behind social media, status signalling, happiness chasing, and the arrival fallacy, making the case that contentment beats endless pursuit every time. If you have ever felt busy but not truly effective, connected but not present, or productive but strangely off-course, this conversation will hit hard. Perfect for anyone who wants to work smarter, think more clearly, and stop outsourcing their life to algorithms, alerts, and other people's goals. If you are ready to take back control of your attention, this one belongs at the top of your queue.

Time Stamps
03:23 - From advertising to studying attention
04:06 - The moment Adam noticed his own attention problem
06:07 - Attention audits and the idea of an attention heat map
07:00 - Calculating the lifetime cost of phone use
08:15 - What attention tax really means
10:21 - Why attention matters more than talent or motivation
11:53 - The hidden cost of workplace interruptions
14:25 - What drives distraction and comfort-seeking
15:15 - The builder and architect model of attention
16:38 - Three things the fast brain tries to do
18:22 - Why busywork feels easier than meaningful work
19:23 - Remove to improve
20:26 - Who am I, what do I want, what do I do
22:22 - Conditions of happiness and the arrival fallacy
24:24 - Why chasing happiness can backfire
25:30 - Relevance, signalling, and how attention is captured
29:51 - Frequency, timing, and context in advertising
32:43 - Reclaiming attention through awareness and alignment
32:51 - The four key purchasing criteria
37:44 - How emotion beats logic in buying decisions
39:54 - Giving attention versus getting attention
40:14 - Infobesity, infomania, and digital overload
43:06 - Why many people cannot sit with their own thoughts
45:21 - The dark side of getting attention online
48:03 - Why understanding your brain helps you take back control
50:00 - Satisfaction, contentment, and goals without deferring life
51:43 - Attention as the upstream driver of thought and action
53:48 - Mega Focus as macro and micro attention management
55:10 - Perfectionism, energy, and attention tax in daily life
56:13 - The end of effort and why hard things matter
58:26 - Tools, calculators, and exercises on Adam's website

Quote:

“Attention lives upstream of everything in your life.”

Resources

Website: https://theattentionarchitect.au/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/theattentionarchitect/

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What if one of the most effective treatments for depression and anxiety in young people needs no prescription, has no withdrawal and makes you stronger?

In this episode, Dr Paul Taylor unpacks a 2024 meta-analysis from Victoria University. It found that resistance training produced large reductions in depression and anxiety symptoms in people aged 26 and under. He then sets it against the largest analysis of its kind, a BMJ network meta-analysis of 218 trials and more than 14,000 people. In that analysis, walking, jogging, yoga and strength training matched therapy and outperformed SSRIs.

In this episode:

• Why strength training was overlooked for decades in mental health research
• The training “recipe” behind the biggest effects: sets, reps, intensity and duration
• Why harder exercise and clear structure produced better results
• How few young people in Australia, the UK and the US meet activity guidelines
• The case for prescribing exercise before medication for young people

Key studies:

• Marinelli et al. (2024). Resistance training and combined resistance and aerobic training as a treatment of depression and anxiety symptoms in young people. Early Intervention in Psychiatry. https://doi.org/10.1111/eip.13528
• Noetel et al. (2024). Effect of exercise for depression: systematic review and network meta-analysis. BMJ. https://doi.org/10.1136/bmj-2023-075847

Survey data:

• ABS National Nutrition and Physical Activity Survey 2023
• Sport England Active Lives Children and Young People Survey 2024-25
• CDC Youth Risk Behavior Survey 2025

This episode is for education, not medical advice. If you or your child takes medication, talk to your doctor before making any changes.

More at paultaylor.biz

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