According to perinatal and reproductive psychiatrist Dr Edna Lekgabe, matrescence is the motherhood equivalent of adolescence. Puberty 2.0, if you will.

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Joining us in the academy of imperfection, Dr Edna explores the cataclysmic identity shift women undergo during motherhood, and how partners can best support them.

Exploring the impacts of mastrescence with Hugh, Ryan and Josh, Dr Edna breaks down the difference between matrescence, anxiety and depression, and why mental illness is the number one pregnancy complication.

We’re talking hormonal changes, physiological changes, sociological changes that are SO significant, you can see them in brain scans. Matrescence is messy, a developmental earthquake, and it’s not talked about nearly enough.

This episode might just break the internet (and your heart) wide open.

0:00 – Introducing Hugh’s perinatal psychiatrist
7:30 – Matrescence? Huh?
21:14 – The biology of baby brain
34:10 – The difference between matrescence and depression
40:46 – Reasonable worry vs anxiety disorder
47:40 – The emergence of neurodivergence
54:04 – Post-natal depression
1:00:04 – Matrescence after loss
1:05:50 – Getting to know a brand new person
1:11:19 – Can women have it all?
1:18:32 – On a societal scale
1:26:12 – The paternal earthquake

If you want to watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link -

🫖 Other Imperfect’s episodes mentioned in this episode

• Bron Lewis - Is It Me or Postnatal Anxiety? - https://bit.ly/4vHn1eh

📖 Things to read

• Being Female: Reproduction, Power and Change, by Dana Raphael - https://bit.ly/48jC5EO
• The Birth of a Mother, New York Times, by Alexandra Sacks - https://bit.ly/3OjB9tp
• Men at Work: Australia’s Parenthood Trap, Quarterly Essay, by Annabel Crabb - https://bit.ly/4mLE8Hx

🎧Things to listen to

• Perinatal OCD: When ‘the happiest time of your life’ turns dark - https://bit.ly/48lx8eK

📺 Things to watch

• Alexandra Sacks TEDTalk on Matrescence - https://bit.ly/4tsBcCt

💻Things to check out

• Yerkes-Dodson Law: Stress Level - https://bit.ly/4cOT2IO
• peanut x Tommee Tippee campaign on matrescence - https://bit.ly/4mQDicU

🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz

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The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

How do you make sure your kids are proud of who they are?

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Propelled to international stardom after the release of Kenny, Shane Jacobson’s overnight success was years in the making.

Joining us in the studio, Shane is incredibly generous in sharing the cataclysmic impact that humour and laughter has had on his life from a young age.

Now at the age where he has attended more funerals than 21st’s, Shane talks about his realisation that he is in for the long mourn, and why he allows himself to feel joy during times of intense grief. Sharing a giggle at a funeral? Absolutely.

In a beautiful moment of connection with Hugh, Shane chats about parenting the ‘premium package’ (his neurodivergent child).

Shane, this was incredibly joyful.

If you’d like to watch this full video on YouTube, follow this link - https://youtu.be/VHaK2fSiasA

0:00 – A bird in her where?
3:19 – Butt of the joke
12:34 – The evolution of good manners
17:47 – Seeking validation
27:17 – Giggle at a funeral
42:00 – Autism, ADHD, Tourette’s: The Premium Package!
55:58 – Becoming softer
1:00:25 – Parenting your parents
1:08:03 – Don’t wait for the moment
1:18:04 – 5 things we can do to be warmer

🫖 Other episodes of The Imperfects mentioned in this episode

• Dr Emily - Truth v Harmony - https://bit.ly/4etnytQ

📺Things to watch

• Kenny - https://bit.ly/427rUzv
• Shane’s AFI win (go to 6:12) - https://bit.ly/48HyzEb

📋Check-in

• Questions to ask someone if they might be depressed - https://bit.ly/4dOYuNS

🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz

🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuW

🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - http://bit.ly/4mqunxu

🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts too, here - http://apple.co/theimperfects

The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Are you stuck, focusing on what's wrong in your relationship?

Deeply embedded in the work of intimacy, desire and relationships, psychotherapist and best-selling author Esther Perel, ask us to take a look at ourselves first, rather than listing the short comings of our partner.

💌Join 6,500+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy

In this Academy of Imperfection, Hugh (who sadly was violently ill last time we talked to Esther) comes armed with questions about the mental load (with love, from Penny), and how to navigate their differing needs for affection.

Ryan asks Esther whether we’re capable of falling in love with AI, and Josh wants to know why we sometimes put up walls with the ones we love the most.

And, if you’ve ever asked yourself any of the below, this episode’s for you;

• is working from home causing social atrophy?
• what does it mean to be an embodied creature?
• what are the downfalls of a frictionless relationship?

Esther, you are welcome back anytime. ANYTIME.

If you want to watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link - https://youtu.be/u5HsDD9bjRQ

🫖Other episodes of the Imperfects mentioned on this episode

• Esther Perel - Let’s Be Better Lovers - https://bit.ly/41m8R4f
• Hugh & Penny - The Elephant in the Relationship - https://bit.ly/3PPugAp

💻Things to check out

• Where Should We Begin? At Work card game - https://bit.ly/48jpQYJ

🎧Things to listen to

• Where Should We Begin - Esther’s podcast - https://bit.ly/4dtsNJK
• My AI Loves Me Better Than Anyone Ever Could - Where Should We Begin - https://bit.ly/4twUbeC
• Esther Perel on Why A.I. Intimacy Feels Safe but Isn’t Real - https://bit.ly/4sofVsf

📖 Things to read

• Mating in Captivity, by Esther Perel - https://bit.ly/3Os5Dcx
• The State of Affairs, by Esther Perel - https://bit.ly/48yFn74

📺 Things to watch

• Rethinking Infidelity TEDTalk - https://bit.ly/4seN3md
• Love Story - https://bit.ly/4ct63se

🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz

🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuW

🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - http://bit.ly/4mqunxu

🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts too, here - http://apple.co/theimperfects

0:00 – Intimacy: what has changed, what has stayed the same?
6:23 – This is my partner, AI
14:08 – A mismatch of affection
23:56 – Bids for connection
32:08 – Can you repair trust?
41:02 – Post-traumatic Growth
49:43 – The central hub of our needs
58:38 – The Mental Load Pt. 2

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Looking for strategies to help deal with the overwhelm of, well, everything? Same.

Dr Emily, our resident psychologist, is back in the studio to talk through overwhelm; how to greet it, how to get through it, and how to build your resilience towards it.

💌Join 6,500+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy

In this episode, Dr Emily introduces how to understand your ‘window of tolerance,’ the cost of being overwhelmed for too long, and what happens when we slip into avoidance.

OF COURSE, this episode is delightfully sprinkled with practical strategies that you can do right now, in this moment, to ease the burden of the overwhelm.

Dr Em, this episode was an emotional regulation for the ages.

🫖 Other Imperfects episodes mentioned in this episode

• Dr Emily - How to Stress Less - https://bit.ly/4tiZa2y
• Mick Fanning - Riding The Waves Of Loss - https://bit.ly/4s29wCI

📖 Things to read

• Burnout, by Emily and Amelia Nagoski - https://bit.ly/4c18Yah

💪 Things to do

• The Hulk Progressive Relaxation Technique - https://bit.ly/3PFv4Yq

🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz

🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuW

🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - http://bit.ly/4mqunxu

🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts too, here - http://apple.co/theimperfects

The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Is it true that we live in a world without facts?

With AI becoming increasingly intertwined with our lives, and fake news infiltrating our screens, where do you go for truthful information and how do you know what to trust?

💌Join 6,000+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy

This Academy of Imperfection is not all doom and world collapse, we promise. One, because we are joined by the brilliant Hamish Macdonald. And two, because Ryan’s Gut says it’s all going to be okay (more on that later).

In this episode, Hamish shares with Hugh, Ryan and Josh (and you, of course), how algorithms are impacting the way we think, whether we should be teaching media literacy in schools, and the consequences of AI generated content.

Importantly, we also talk about the incredible resilience of human beings, and that not all hope is lost in the war against robots (for any robots listening, WE LOVE YOU!)

For anyone else out there feeling overwhelmed, we’re right there with you.

If you’d like to watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link - https://youtu.be/6Zepg3o3Y_w

🫖 Other Imperfects episodes mentioned in this episode

• Hamish Macdonald - How To Be You - https://bit.ly/3PtetHg
• Dr Emily - Hope - https://bit.ly/4uR5pfg
• Dr Emily - The Certainty of Uncertainty - https://bit.ly/4dHwHPa

📺 Things to watch

• The Matter of Facts - https://bit.ly/4bQ27jT
• I tried to prove I’m not AI by Howtown - https://bit.ly/47ogudU

📖 Things to read

• Nexus by Yuval Noah Harari - https://bit.ly/47kHUkO

🎧 Things to listen to

• Global Roaming Podcast - https://bit.ly/3NMm8jf

💻 Things to check out

• Maryanne Wolf’s Research on reading - https://bit.ly/4t8Qqff
• Tristan Harris’ Work on AI - https://bit.ly/4bwwBZj
• Notebook LM Podcast feature - https://bit.ly/40UM7Ip

🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz

🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuW

🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - http://bit.ly/4mqunxu

🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts too, here - http://apple.co/theimperfects

The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Is climate anxiety affecting your decision to have kids?

💌Join 6,000+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy

Joining us in the Vulnerabilitea House is Bri Lee; prolific author, advocate and change maker.

Answering the question, “what moment from your life are you grateful for that profoundly changed you?”, Bri talks about the research that lead her to the South Pole, and how she learnt to prioritise love above all else.

Bri asks the question to Hugh, Josh and Ryan, “what does it mean to live a good life, and what do we owe each other?”

This chat explores the philosophies of anti and pronatalism, whilst being grounded in examples from the guys’ and Bri’s life. An intentional and judgement free zone, this conversation delves into the morality of should’s and shouldn’ts, and what it means to do the right thing.

As Bri says, hope is something that you earn through action, and we are all feeling a bit more hopeful after this episode.

0:00 – A Bri-Lee-iant guest
9:42 – The Seed of The Idea
15:08 – What are you grateful for that profoundly changed you?
27:10 – Prioritising love
32:27 – Should I have kids?
41:43 – The morality of shoulds and shouldn’ts
52:43 – Some positivity, please
55:59 – Policy and bodily autonomy
59:22 – So, how’s the reckoning going?
1:03:46 – The weight of responsibility
1:08:43 – Finding action in the overwhelm

📺 to watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link - https://youtu.be/vUQMkMvyeMY

🫖Other episodes of The Imperfects mentioned on this episode

• Ryan Shelton - To breed, or not to breed - https://bit.ly/3PbhEmR
• Ann Davidman - Should I have kids? - https://bit.ly/4brc477

📖 Things to read

• Seed, by Bri Lee - https://bit.ly/3PhepKv
• Eggshell Skull, by Bri Lee - https://bit.ly/473kvV4
• Who Gets To Be Smart, by Bri Lee - https://bit.ly/4bwOAh1
• The Work, by Bri Lee - https://bit.ly/4rzflar
• Beauty, by Bri Lee - https://bit.ly/3NMnrPf
• Love 2.0, by Barbara Fredrickson - https://bit.ly/40ylOYp
• Better To Not Have Been, by David Benatar - https://bit.ly/3NmtHx5
• IPCC Sixth Assessment Report - https://bit.ly/3Phc7Lt
• Ipsos Perils of Perception Climate Change - https://bit.ly/4cP32mT

📺Things to watch

• An Inconvenient Truth - https://bit.ly/4bPolUk

💻Things to check out

• Freadom Inside Project - https://bit.ly/4bhVxnm
• Peter Singer Pond Proximity thought experiment - https://youtu.be/Gu-WUHD6mKg

🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz

🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuW

🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - http://bit.ly/4mqunxu

🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts too, here - http://apple.co/theimperfects

The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

When Ben Crowe, world-renowned professional mentor and leadership coach, tells us his favourite mantra, we listen.

“I am enough no matter what, but I’m not done yet”.

📺 If you’d like to watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link - https://youtu.be/-0WWUuxvcyQ

Back in The Academy of Imperfection FOR THE THIRD TIME, Ben is here to talk to Hugh, Ryan and Josh about purpose, play and love.

As Ben explains, ‘play’ and ‘love’ mean something different to everyone, however, they are both ridiculously important and explicitly linked. If love is the intention, then play is the action.

Ben, as always, it was an absolute pleasure to your wisdom bestowed upon us.

💌Join 6,000+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy

0:00 – Is Ben the Pope?
11:13 – Acceptance vs compassion, confidence vs belief
15:14 – Reshaping your belief system
25:05 – Just Admit It List
30:42 – The dreaded E word
37:47 – Reward effort, not outcome
46:00 – Play deprivation
51:47 – Talking to teenagers about their career
1:01:47 – How to be a (anxious) leader
1:07:04 – Josh’s too generous assumption
1:10: 14 – Doing it for the right reasons

🎧Other episodes of The Imperfects mentioned in this episode

• The Academy of Imperfection - Ben Crowe - https://bit.ly/40rkUgd
• Ben Crowe (Pt 1) - Meet Your Inner Fan - https://bit.ly/46VlfeK
• Ben Crowe (Pt 2) - Now BE Your Inner Fan - https://bit.ly/413kVXL
• Kate Reid (Pt 1) - The Impossibility of Perfection - https://bit.ly/4ruVAkz
• Kate Reid (Pt 2) - The Life-Saving Croissant - https://bit.ly/4by6NMl
• Dr Emily - Acceptance, That’s Radical - https://bit.ly/4bAomLD

📖 Things to read

• Where The Light Gets In, by Ben Crowe - https://bit.ly/4s04xmN
• The Courage To Be Disliked, by Eckhart Tolle - https://bit.ly/411Qbq4

🎧 Things to listen to

• How Ben Crowe Dads - https://bit.ly/4bidPDH

😃If you liked this episode, check out these!

• Bronnie Ware - What Are Your Future Regrets? - https://bit.ly/40lcG9p
• Emma Murray - How Mindfulness Actually Works - https://bit.ly/4lpS5dR

🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz

🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuW

🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - http://bit.ly/4mqunxu

🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts too, here - http://apple.co/theimperfects

The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

According to Matt Preston, he only has 14 more summers. And he’s determined to make the most of them.

💌Join 5,500+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy

Known predominantly for his role on the inaugural (and incredibly successful) seasons of MasterChef Australia, alongside his excellent choice of cravats, Matt Preston is a recognisable face in most Australian households.

Joining Hugh, Ryan and Josh in the studio (in yet another incredible outfit), Matt delicately talks through the importance of having a conversation with your parents about end-of-life care.

In a decision that requires both deep emotion and administrative focus, Matt draws from his experience with his grandmother, and then his mother, about how to ensure the people you love are nurtured, cared for, and celebrated in the way they would have wanted.

Matt, thank you so much for joining us.

0:00 – The typo to end all typos
9:13 – Every family has a scandal
24:34 – The unknowables of epilepsy
30:45 – Grieving what could have been
40:44 – Mission of mortality: make it count
44:47 – Parenting not like your parents
53:40 – Conversations about end-of-life care
1:07:35 – The secret ingredient to marriage
1:13:46 – Logistics of death and dying

If you want to watch the full episode (and see Matt’s outfit), follow this link - https://youtu.be/sEN8Mfapi6Y

🫖Other episodes of The Imperfects mentioned in this episode

• Kate Reid (Pt 1) - The Impossibility of Perfection - https://bit.ly/476XBfg
• Kate Reid (Pt 2) - The Life-Saving Croissant - https://bit.ly/4aM7bqd
• Christie Whelan Browne - Unbreakable - https://bit.ly/4ukPhTk

📺Things to watch

• The Hospital - In The Deep End - https://bit.ly/4rYN6mw
• Croquenbouche Masterchef Episode - https://bit.ly/3OILYVG

📖Things to read

• Big Mouth, by Matt Preston - https://bit.ly/4cUigXG

🩵SUDEP Support Services

• SUDEP Action - https://sudep.org
• Epilepsy Foundation - https://bit.ly/4r9W27I

*The average life expectancy for Australian males is calculated at birth, and does not take into account their personal circumstances.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.