Send us a text

Being a man today often means carrying responsibility without a clear map for meaning. Work used to define everything. Service, provision, and endurance were enough. Now, many men are left asking who they are when the old scripts no longer hold. They often wonder what strength is supposed to look like in a world that’s changed.

In this episode, host Timothy sits down with military veteran and entrepreneur Scott DeLuzio. They have a grounded, wide-ranging conversation about masculinity, service, leadership, and identity after uniform. Drawing from military culture, entrepreneurship, fatherhood, and generational change, they explore how men are shaped by systems that prize competence and toughness and what happens when those systems fall away.

You’ll hear us break down:

• The military’s masculine culture: Why structure, hierarchy, and shared mission accelerate growth and how that culture can both build and limit men.
• Combat vs. support roles: The unspoken hierarchy inside the military, why most service members are enablers rather than fighters, and how that reframes masculine worth.
• Teamwork and leadership after service: Why veterans often succeed in entrepreneurship by rejecting the “do it all yourself” myth.
• Scarcity vs. abundance thinking: How competition for attention and status undermines men, and why collaboration creates more room for everyone.
• The provider identity collapse: How our grandfathers’ work-based purpose shaped masculinity and why that model no longer sustains modern men.
• Fatherhood and overprotection: How today’s parents have created safer childhoods, and the unintended cost of limiting failure, risk, and resilience.
• Letting boys struggle well: Why strength is built through responsibility, exposure, and earned competence, not constant rescue.

We highlight the tension men feel between duty and meaning, protection and growth, independence and belonging. This conversation doesn’t offer easy answers or nostalgia. It provides something more durable: a clearer understanding of how men are formed, what they’ve lost, and how they can rebuild purpose without abandoning strength.

The American Masculinity Podcast™ is hosted by Timothy Wienecke — licensed psychotherapist, Air Force veteran, and men’s advocate.
Real conversations about masculinity, mental health, growth, and how men can show up better — as partners, leaders, and friends.
We focus on grounded tools, not yelling or clichés. If you have questions or want a tool for something you're wrestling with, leave a comment or send a message — your feedback shapes what we build next.
Note: While this doesn’t replace therapy, it might help you notice something worth exploring.

Send us a text

Being a good therapist isn’t just about technique. It’s about presence. It’s about knowing how to hold space without flinching, how to challenge without shaming, and how to stay steady when someone finally tests whether you’ll leave as everyone else did.

In this episode, licensed therapist Timothy sits down with trauma clinician Bianca Thomas for a raw, deeply grounded conversation. The discussion centres around men in therapy, gender dynamics in the clinical room, and why so many men struggle to feel safe opening up. Together, they unpack what actually helps men heal and where the mental health field still falls short.

You’ll hear us break down:

• Why do men test female therapists? How boundary-pushing, sexual comments, and humour are often safety bids, not disrespect.
• Vulnerability vs. emotional collapse: Why men fear that “opening up” means losing control, and what healthy vulnerability actually looks like.
• The gender gap in clinical training: How modern therapy education often overlooks male socialization and leaves clinicians underprepared to work with men.
• What builds real safety in the room? Directness, credibility, humour, and consistency.
• Rupture and repair: Why conflict in therapy isn’t failure, but one of the most powerful healing tools when handled well.
• Sex, shame, and silence: How sexual dynamics show up in therapy, and why avoiding them does more harm than naming them.
• Why do men need other men? The role of community and “me too” moments in helping men finally seek support.

We stay with the pressure men carry every day, the pull between connection and self-protection, between showing up and staying guarded. This conversation doesn’t promise quick wins or clean solutions. It offers something more useful: honesty about what men actually need to heal, grow, and stay in the room.

The American Masculinity Podcast™ is hosted by Timothy Wienecke — licensed psychotherapist, Air Force veteran, and men’s advocate.
Real conversations about masculinity, mental health, growth, and how men can show up better — as partners, leaders, and friends.
We focus on grounded tools, not yelling or clichés. If you have questions or want a tool for something you're wrestling with, leave a comment or send a message — your feedback shapes what we build next.
Note: While this doesn’t replace therapy, it might help you notice something worth exploring.

Send us a text

Joining the military isn’t just a career choice. It’s a moral, psychological, and identity-defining decision that reshapes who you are, what you belong to, and what you carry long after the uniform comes off.

In this episode, Air Force veteran and dual-licensed psychotherapist Timothy Wienecke offers a clear-eyed, deeply personal breakdown of what military service actually gives, and what it takes. Drawing on over a decade of clinical work with veterans and his own lived experience, Timothy walks listeners through the realities civilians rarely hear before signing on the dotted line.

This isn’t a recruiting pitch. And it isn’t a bitter veteran rant. It’s an honest conversation about power, purpose, loss, and responsibility. It’s meant to help people make one of the most consequential decisions of their lives with their eyes fully open.

You’ll hear us explore:

• Purpose, structure, and direction: Why the military can be life-saving for people who feel lost and why that structure is so powerful.
• The real benefits include housing, healthcare, education, and skills development. And how they can set you up if you use them intentionally.
• Brotherhood and belonging: What makes military bonds so deep, and why they often come at the cost of your civilian community.
• Identity loss and assimilation: How military culture reshapes obedience, authority, and selfhood. And why parts of who you were may not come back unchanged.
• The job vs. the branch myth: Why your military job matters far more than the uniform you wear.
• Combat, hierarchy, and shame: The rarely discussed guilt carried by non-combat veterans in a warrior culture.
• Moral authority and killing: What it actually means to give up control over how your labour is used. And the moral injury that brings many veterans to therapy.
• Active duty vs. Guard and Reserve: Why “part-time service” often carries full-Timothye risk with less support.
• Who thrives and who struggles? The values, expectations, and red flags that predict whether service will be growth-building or deeply damaging.

This episode holds the tension at the heart of service. The pride and the anger. The gratitude and the grief. The ways service can save your life. And the ways it can cost you parts of it.

There’s no right or wrong answer to whether you should join the military. What matters is making the choice informed, intentional, and honest. This conversation doesn’t tell you what to decide. It gives you the clarity to decide for yourself.

The American Masculinity Podcast™ is hosted by Timothy Wienecke — licensed psychotherapist, Air Force veteran, and men’s advocate.
Real conversations about masculinity, mental health, growth, and how men can show up better — as partners, leaders, and friends.
We focus on grounded tools, not yelling or clichés. If you have questions or want a tool for something you're wrestling with, leave a comment or send a message — your feedback shapes what we build next.
Note: While this doesn’t replace therapy, it might help you notice something worth exploring.

Send us a text

Being a present father isn’t about perfection. It’s about intention. It’s what you do in the tiny windows between work, exhaustion, and everything else pulling at you. It’s the choice to show up, even when time is tight, and life is loud.

In this episode, licensed therapist Timothy sits down with Marine Major and children’s author Olaolu Ogunyemi. He explores modern fatherhood through discipline, community, and the evolving identity of men in today’s world. Together, they walk through what it means to lead without dominating, love without disappearing into work, and parent with both structure and vulnerability.

You’ll hear us break down:

• Presence vs. proximity: Why being physically home isn’t the same as being emotionally available.
• Role transitions that actually work: How to shift from major to dad, from leader to listener, without losing yourself.
• Discipline as teaching, not punishment: The real meaning of discipline and why yelling rarely builds character.
• The power of community: Why no parent should raise a child alone and how military culture gets this right.
• Rewriting fatherhood narratives: Especially around Black dads, and how showing up consistently can break generational patterns.
• Small habits that create core memories: From schedules to rituals to “trash time,” and why those tiny moments hit deeper than big gestures.

We sit with the real tension parents feel today. Wanting to provide, protect, and succeed while also wanting to be gentle, present, and remembered for more than the hours spent at work.

The American Masculinity Podcast™ is hosted by Timothy Wienecke — licensed psychotherapist, Air Force veteran, and men’s advocate.
Real conversations about masculinity, mental health, growth, and how men can show up better — as partners, leaders, and friends.
We focus on grounded tools, not yelling or clichés. If you have questions or want a tool for something you're wrestling with, leave a comment or send a message — your feedback shapes what we build next.
Note: While this doesn’t replace therapy, it might help you notice something worth exploring.

Send us a text

Most men are told to “listen better,” but almost nobody teaches the actual skills. In this episode, therapist and professor Tim Wienecke breaks empathy down into a practical, trainable system you can improve in 30 days. No personality shift required—just simple tools that help you communicate clearly, stay grounded in tough moments, and understand what people actually need from you.

Tim teaches the same framework he uses with counseling students: a 30-day daily drill that improves emotional recognition, grounding skills to keep you out of fixer mode, and a three-level reflective listening method that makes conversations easier and more productive. You’ll also learn the one question that prevents most difficult conversations from blowing up, plus how to apply these skills in romantic partnerships, leadership, and parenting.

Whether you want to connect better with your partner, lead more effectively at work, or simply be the man people feel safe opening up to, this episode gives you a complete step-by-step system you can start using today.

What You’ll Learn

• The 30-day stranger exercise that builds emotional accuracy
• Why the Eyes Test is a helpful baseline for empathy
• How the Emotion Wheel expands emotional vocabulary
• Grounding techniques that help you stay present
• The three types of reflections: simple, dual-sided, and summary
• The question that keeps conversations from going sideways
• How empathy shows up differently in parenting, leadership, and relationships

Chapters

00:00 Why Empathy Is a Trainable Skill
00:50 The Eyes Test and Your Baseline
02:10 The 30-Day Stranger Exercise
03:10 Using the Emotion Wheel
04:00 Skill 1: Grounding So You Stop Fixing
06:40 Skill 2: Reflective Listening (Simple → Dual → Summary)
12:00 Skill 3: “Am I Helping or Listening?”
15:10 Applying the Skills: Kids, Leadership, and Partnerships

Tools Mentioned

Reading the Mind in the Eyes Test - https://socialintelligence.labinthewild.org/mite/

Emotion Wheel (vocabulary expansion tool)- https://feelingswheel.com/

Recommended Reading

How to Win Friends and Influence People — Dale Carnegie
If I Understood You, Would I Have This Look on My Face? — Alan Alda
Motivational Interviewing (3rd ed.) — Miller and Rollnick

Get them from delivered by your local bookstore:

https://bookshop.org/lists/amp-32-empathy-and-communication-reading-list

Full Fact Check and Show Notes: www.americanmasculnity.com/amp32-skilled-empathy

📊 Research Notes:
The 36-item Reading the Mind in the Eyes Test measures emotion recognition accuracy. Studies show empathic accuracy and reflective listening improve with deliberate practice.
John Gottman's research finds 69% of relationship conflicts are "perpetual"—the goal

The American Masculinity Podcast™ is hosted by Timothy Wienecke — licensed psychotherapist, Air Force veteran, and men’s advocate.
Real conversations about masculinity, mental health, growth, and how men can show up better — as partners, leaders, and friends.
We focus on grounded tools, not yelling or clichés. If you have questions or want a tool for something you're wrestling with, leave a comment or send a message — your feedback shapes what we build next.
Note: While this doesn’t replace therapy, it might help you notice something worth exploring.

Send us a text

What happens to men’s mental health after #MeToo—once the headlines fade and you’re left with shame, confusion, and a culture you didn’t choose but still live in?

In this final part of the Men and #MeToo series, licensed therapist and veteran Tim Wienecke sits down with advocate Michael Brasher for an unhurried conversation about the “water” men were raised in: intergenerational violence, confusing sexual scripts, status pressure, and the stories that keep “good guys” from seeing the harm they cause.

Together they unpack why so many men feel attacked or shut down when they hear terms like #MeToo, “rape culture,” or “toxic masculinity”—and how those reactions are often about fear, shame, and status threat, not about being hopelessly broken. They also talk about young men’s dating anxiety, the mentorship gap, and what it takes to build a version of masculinity that is both strong and deeply safe for others.

The episode ends with something rare: an explicit on-air fact-check. Tim revisits several overstatements from the conversation and corrects them using current research on sexual assault, harassment, unwanted consensual sex, and male survivors—modeling how men can be emotionally honest and factually precise at the same time.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• How intergenerational violence and family secrecy shape men’s addictions, relationships, and blind spots
• Why the “good men vs. bad men” story blocks accountability and repair
• What the latest data say about sexual assault, harassment, and unwanted consensual sex for both women and men
• How shame, empathy, and self-kindness interact when men try to face their own harm-doing
• Why status threat feels like a physical reaction in men’s bodies—and how to ride it instead of exploding or shutting down

Parts 1 and 2 of this series give you practical tools:

• Part 1: What to do when you’re accused
• Part 2: How men can support survivors without walking on eggshells

This conversation (Part 3) gives you the cultural context and emotional landscape those tools sit inside.

🔗 Full fact-check, references, and show notes:
www.EmpoweredChangeCE.com/american-masculinity

The American Masculinity Podcast™ is hosted by Timothy Wienecke — licensed psychotherapist, Air Force veteran, and men’s advocate.
Real conversations about masculinity, mental health, growth, and how men can show up better — as partners, leaders, and friends.
We focus on grounded tools, not yelling or clichés. If you have questions or want a tool for something you're wrestling with, leave a comment or send a message — your feedback shapes what we build next.
Note: While this doesn’t replace therapy, it might help you notice something worth exploring.

Send us a text

Most men want to support survivors—but freeze when it matters. This guide teaches the three phases men need to show up with safety and presence.

Many men believe in the MeToo movement but freeze when it’s time to actually show up. In Part 2 of the Men and MeToo series, therapist and veteran Tim Wienecke outlines a modern masculine framework for supporting survivors—focusing on emotional regulation, relational skill, and community presence.

PHASE 1 — Support Yourself (01:20–07:30)
Learn to regulate anger, fear, and protectiveness when someone discloses harm. Address your own shame, past behavior, and cultural conditioning before trying to hold someone else’s story.

PHASE 2 — Support Your People (07:30–32:00)
Master listening without interrogating. Explore the Continuum of Harm, the 10-Level Boundary Scale, and simple scripts for showing up without making things worse.

PHASE 3 — Support Your Community (32:00–45:30)
Move beyond online performance into real-world action. Learn how to enter survivor-led spaces, when men should lead (and when we shouldn’t), and what healthy masculine presence looks like.

Chapters:
00:00 – Why Men Freeze Up
00:50 – Survivor Statistics
01:20 – Phase 1: Managing Your First Reactions
03:40 – Responding Without Blame
05:40 – Looking Honestly at Your Past
07:30 – Phase 2: You Can’t Do This Alone
11:00 – Building Your Support Circle
17:00 – The Continuum of Harm
22:00 – The 10-Level Boundary Scale
31:00 – Recap
32:00 – Phase 3: Taking This Work Into the World
33:30 – Why Online Outrage Fails
36:20 – Real-World Support
38:00 – Walking Into Spaces That Don’t Belong to You
40:20 – When Men Should Lead
44:00 – Strengthening Community
45:30 – Closing

This is practical masculinity that repairs. If it resonates, share it with men who want to do better.

Series & Resources:
• Part 1: What To Do When You’re Accused
• Guide: How to Walk Into Spaces That Don’t Belong to You – https://americanmasculinity.gumroad.com/l/xvcnj

• How to Build a Men’s Group That Holds You Accountable

Key Facts:
• 1 in 4 men, 1 in 2 women, and even higher rates among trans/non-binary adults experience sexual violence (CDC 2023; NSVRC 2024).
• Very few cases result in conviction due to evidentiary limits—not because survivors are lying.
• Questioning or interrogating survivors increases self-blame and isolation (Ullman & Peter-Hagene 2014).

Full fact-check and citations: www.americanmasculinity.com

What support do you need as you try to show up better for survivors in your life?
Your story might help another man take his first step.

The American Masculinity Podcast™ is hosted by Timothy Wienecke — licensed psychotherapist, Air Force veteran, and men’s advocate.
Real conversations about masculinity, mental health, growth, and how men can show up better — as partners, leaders, and friends.
We focus on grounded tools, not yelling or clichés. If you have questions or want a tool for something you're wrestling with, leave a comment or send a message — your feedback shapes what we build next.
Note: While this doesn’t replace therapy, it might help you notice something worth exploring.

Send us a text

When an accusation hits, everything collapses. Here’s how to steady yourself and move forward with integrity.

When you’re accused—rightly or wrongly—your body floods with fear, anger, and shame.
Licensed therapist and veteran Tim Wienecke shares what to do next: how to regulate, think clearly, and take accountability without losing who you are.

This isn’t legal advice. It’s therapeutic guidance for one of the hardest moments a man can face. Drawing from over a decade of clinical work with men, veterans, and those accused of harm, Tim explains how to move through crisis with structure and care.

You’ll learn a three-phase framework to get through the chaos:
1️⃣ Stabilize: Ground your body, slow your breathing, and manage emotion before reacting.
2️⃣ Assess: Build your support team—legal, HR, clinical, community—and gather facts, not stories.
3️⃣ Repair: Rebuild integrity and trust through self-accountability, apology, and service.

Tim also discusses:
• Why public declarations of innocence often backfire
• How acceptance isn’t approval, and why it matters for healing
• Why 12-Step amends and restorative justice can guide moral repair
• How service and belonging help rebuild dignity after harm

What You’ll Learn
• Grounding techniques to regulate anger and panic
• How to separate facts from fear and rumor
• The difference between guilt (I did wrong) and shame (I am wrong)
• How to rebuild community and self-respect after rupture

Chapters
00:00 Before I Was a Counselor — Why This Topic Matters
01:10 Three-Part Roadmap to Accountability
02:10 Phase 1 • Taking the Hit and Stabilizing
03:30 Ground Your Body — Breath, Cold Water, Movement
06:30 Name Your Emotions and What They Need
09:30 Organize Your Thoughts and Avoid Coping Traps
13:30 Phase 2 • Assess What’s Real
18:10 Phase 3 • Accountability and Repair
22:30 Relational Repair and Community Reintegration
26:00 Three Models of Accountability + Closing Reflection

Fact-Check Highlights
• Social pain activates brain regions tied to physical pain (Eisenberger & Lieberman, 2004).
• Cold-water resets and breathwork can support parasympathetic calm (Porges, 2011).
• HR’s duty is to the organization—get outside legal guidance (SHRM, 2023).
• Public self-defense often worsens outcomes (Jensen & Wigley, 2021).
• 12-Step models provide tested paths for accountability (Kelly et al., 2020).

Reflective Prompts
• Who can hold me accountable and still believe in my growth?
• What would “repair” look like if I valued trust over reputation?
• How can I respond to accusation without losing integrity?

Key Message:
Slow down. Ground yourself. Tell the truth carefully. Accountability isn’t punishment—it’s the path back to belonging.

🔗 Full transcript, references, and resources at:
www.americanmasculinity.com/29-metoo1-accused

The American Masculinity Podcast™ is hosted by Timothy Wienecke — licensed psychotherapist, Air Force veteran, and men’s advocate.
Real conversations about masculinity, mental health, growth, and how men can show up better — as partners, leaders, and friends.
We focus on grounded tools, not yelling or clichés. If you have questions or want a tool for something you're wrestling with, leave a comment or send a message — your feedback shapes what we build next.
Note: While this doesn’t replace therapy, it might help you notice something worth exploring.