Did Bill W., co-founder of Alcoholics Anonymous, consume alcohol after getting sober in 1934?

According to his wife, Lois Wilson, yes—but there's a catch.

In this episode, we examine the rumors about Bill's drinking, his requests for whiskey on his deathbed, and an incident involving alcohol documented in Lois Remembers.

I also share my own experience with a “freelapse” and explore what these stories reveal about one of AA's core claims.

Timestamps:

00:00 Did Bill W Drink intro

00:42 Why People Think Bill W Drank?

05:21 Lois Said Bill Drank Alcohol

11:57 What is a "Freelapse?"

13:30 The Time I Freelapsed

16:15 Bill W. Wasn't Powerless?

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No more groupthink and being "powerless" over critical thinking... This episode is our reminder to not turn our thinking and judgement over to "authorities" outside ourselves. Critical thinking for the win.

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I saw a comment in a Facebook deprogramming group that asked if that group was a cult. So I thought we'd dive on in and discuss it on the pod today...

Timestamps:

00:00 Is deprogramming a cult intro

02:30 What is a cult?

03:56 What is coercive control?

07:07 What is dogma?

11:00 Cult tactics to look out for

15:47 What is DARVO?

21:27 1 - Can you question it?

26:36 2 - Are you told what to think?

28:00 3 - Are people controlled?

29:01 4 - What does it cost you?

30:33 5 - Can you leave?

31:41 Are deprogram AA groups cults?

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Carrie is back! Between the two of us, we have 54 years of recovery—and a lot to say about AA old-timers. What even makes someone an old-timer, and why does time sober so often translate into authority?

We talk about the hierarchy around sober time, “AA math,” sponsorship and service, the difference between longevity and expertise, predatory old-timers, and the recovery beliefs we once accepted and passed on ourselves. We also get into what happens when you stop treating sober time as a measure of wisdom, healing, or how much someone else should listen to you.

Carrie's Substack

Timestamps:

00:00 What AA Old Timers Get Wrong Intro

04:24 Good People In AA

07:53 54 Years of Recovery

14:48 Sober As Long As You Drank

16:23 Counting Recovery Time

22:22 Quitting w/o Centering It

25:19 Sponsors Who Shame You

30:16 What is an AA Old Timer?

42:31 AA Gurus and AA Hierarchy

46:50 AA Sober Time vs. Addiction Expertise

56:15 Bill W Says Recovery Requires Religion

56:51 When Old Timers Hit On You

1:01:54 What Half a Century of Recovery Means

1:08:58 Getting an AA Old Timer to Leave AA

1:22:14 Saying "AA is BS" Out Loud

1:33:10 Old Timer One Liners

1:35:49 Sobriety Chips and AA Tattoos

1:46:31 Good AA Old Timers

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Today I join Victor from Quackaholics Anonymous for a wide-ranging conversation about Alcoholics Anonymous, indoctrination, and what happens when recovery becomes an identity.

We talk about why people are drawn into AA, love bombing and belonging, shame and the “alcoholic” identity, neurodivergence and mental health being mislabeled as alcoholism, the religious and cult dynamics of the program, predatory behavior and accountability, amends, and the difficulty of questioning a system you were taught you needed to survive.

We also explore what it means to deprogram, rebuild trust in your own experience, and speak openly about both the help—and the harm—people can experience in AA.

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Why are conversations about leaving AA suddenly going viral? People who have left are speaking openly about deprogramming, shunning, fear, loss—and the relief of realizing they’re not alone.

Meanwhile, AA defenders are flooding the comments with personal attacks and “conspiracy theories” about dissenters.

Is a cultural shift happening?

Timestamps:

00:00 Leaving AA Going Viral Intro

00:48 Facebook comment section

02:36 1 - Feeling Validated

13:55 2 - Leaving is Frightening

18:20 3 - Years of Deprogramming

22:20 4 - AA Made Recovery Harder

26:11 5 - Someone in AA Died

30:49 6 - We Are All Powerful

31:57 AA Members Make Deprogramming Viral

35:55 AA Troll Conspiracy Theory # 1

38:10 AA Troll Conspiracy Theory # 2

41:48 AA Troll Conspiracy Theory # 3

43:05 Hyper Agressive AA Trolls

43:55 Does The Algorithm Spark Hostility?

45:48 Dissenting For The Clicks?

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What happens when a leading addiction expert acknowledges that AA is a cult, says that’s precisely why it works, and then dismisses criticism of 12-step programs as “bashing”?

In this episode, I examine the dangerous blind spot around AA in the addiction field, how the language of “AA bashing” turns people raising concerns into the aggressors, and why openly discussing risks and harms is essential for harm reduction and informed consent.

Timestamps:

00:00 Intro experts dangerous AA blind spot

01:47 Critiquing a cult is "bashing?"

03:10 AA works because it's a cult

07:02 Calling criticism "bashing"

11:05 Anti-harm reduction centering

14:31 Applying the same logic to cults

19:10 Recovery narrative needs updating

Sources:

Why 12-step programs work for addictions | Peter Attia and Anna Lembke

Understanding & Treating Addiction | Dr. Anna Lembke

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⚠️ Disclaimer: I’m not a therapist, doctor, or licensed healthcare provider. Everything shared is for educational purposes only and not a substitute for professional care.

💖 Some links may be affiliate links. I only share what I genuinely use and love.

I read an interesting piece of AA history this week and thought I'd share it with you to see what you think. The book is Not-God: A History of Alcoholics Anonymous book by historian Ernest Kurtz.

🔥 Free Deprogram Course + leaving AA resources → here

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📱 My content creation setup (camera, mic, lighting, etc.) → here

💻 Tools + software I use to run my business and create online → here

⚠️ Disclaimer: I’m not a therapist, doctor, or licensed healthcare provider. Everything shared is for educational purposes only and not a substitute for professional care.

💖 Some links may be affiliate links. I only share what I genuinely use and love.