Most men believe porn addiction is driven by lust, temptation, or a lack of discipline.

But what if that’s not the real problem?

In this episode of No More Desire, I challenge one of the most common—and damaging—assumptions in porn addiction recovery: that the part of you that turns to porn is bad, broken, or sinful.

What I’ve discovered through my own recovery, and through working with men across the world, is this:

Porn addiction often isn’t about pleasure at all. It’s about emotional self-soothing.

There is a part of your mind—what I call the Peacemaker—that is trying to calm your nervous system, reduce stress, and give you relief. When you don’t know how to truly rest, relax, or be present, this part looks for comfort wherever it can find it. For many men, porn becomes that coping mechanism.

In this episode, I break down how porn cravings are often driven by stress, anxiety, emotional overload, and nervous system dysregulation, not sexual desire. I explain why willpower alone fails in porn addiction recovery—and what actually works instead.

You’ll learn how chronic pressure from high achievement, perfectionism, or anxiety quietly fuels relapse… and how the inner war between different parts of your mind keeps the cycle going.

Most importantly, I’ll teach you how to stop fighting yourself—and start leading yourself.

This episode is for men who are tired of white-knuckling sobriety…

Men who keep relapsing despite trying harder…

Men who want lasting porn addiction recovery rooted in mindset, lifestyle, and self-leadership.

If you’ve ever wondered why you turn to porn when you’re stressed, overwhelmed, or exhausted—this conversation will change how you see yourself and your recovery.

You’re not broken. You’re not weak. And the part of you driving porn use doesn’t need to be destroyed—it needs to be retrained.

If you want to go deeper into this work, I invite you to join the No More Desire Brotherhood, where men support each other in real, practical recovery. You can also check out my free resources—including The 8 Keys to Lose Your Desire for Porn and The 10 Tools to Conquer Cravings—at nomoredesire.com.

If this episode helped you, take a moment to follow, rate, and review the podcast. It’s one of the best ways you can help other men find real help for porn addiction recovery.

Let’s get into it.

Link to Blog Article for this Episode

If you’re ready to build the mindset and lifestyle that lead to long-term freedom from porn addiction, visit NoMoreDesire.com and apply for my 1-on-1 Porn Addiction Recovery Coaching Program. You’ll gain the structured tools, accountability, and training you need to transform not only your habits—but your heart.

Grab my Free eBook and Free Workshop for more strategies to overcome porn addiction, rewire your brain, and rebuild your life

Support the show

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Is it possible to quit porn by changing your beliefs?

Can you overcome porn addiction—not through willpower or positive thinking—but by going deeper into the painful emotions and unconscious beliefs that actually drive the habit?

In this episode, I challenge the popular idea that you can “just believe differently” or manifest your way out of porn addiction. While mindset does matter, most advice about belief change misses a crucial step—and that missing step is the reason so many men keep relapsing despite doing “everything right.”

Porn addiction is not just a behavior problem.
It’s not even just a habit problem.

At its core, porn addiction is driven by unconscious beliefs, emotional conditioning, and nervous system patterns that were formed long before porn ever entered the picture.

In this episode, I walk you through a real-life case study of a client (we’ll call him Joseph) who struggled with porn addiction for nearly 20 years—and is now over three months sober for the first time since he was a child. What changed wasn’t his willpower. It wasn’t positive affirmations. It was the way he learned to work with painful emotions, triggers, and deeply rooted beliefs like shame, defectiveness, fear, and unworthiness.

I also break down the step-by-step belief-release process Joseph used—drawing from Internal Family Systems (IFS), parts work, emotional mindfulness, somatic psychology, and nervous system regulation—to release old beliefs and allow new, healthier beliefs to take root naturally.

We’ll explore the psychology and neuroscience behind why this approach works, including:

• Implicit (unconscious) beliefs and emotional memory
• Why beliefs live in the body, not just the intellect
• Memory reconsolidation and why old beliefs must be activated before they can change
• Prediction error and how self-efficacy is built through lived experience
• Why acceptance—not force—is the key to lasting porn addiction recovery

This episode is for you if:

• You’re trying to quit porn but keep relapsing
• You feel trapped by shame, fear, or emotional overwhelm
• You’ve done therapy, programs, or accountability—but something still feels missing
• You want a deeper, more compassionate, neuroscience-backed approach to recovery

This is not a quick fix. It’s not a magic wand.
But it is a grounded, psychological and neurological path toward real freedom—one that integrates emotional healing, nervous system regulation, and a healthier relationship with yourself.

If you’re ready to stop fighting your mind and start healing it, this episode will change the way you understand recovery.

Link to Blog Article for this episode

If you’re looking for deeper support and real connection in recovery, I’m opening the No More Desire Brotherhood on January 15th. The pre-launch is open right now, and when you join you’ll get free lifetime access to my 4 Pillars of Recovery mini-course, plus exclusive pre-launch bonuses. You can learn more and join here: https://www.nomoredesire.com/prelaunch

Grab my Free eBook and Free Workshop for more strategies to overcome porn addiction, rewire your brain, and rebuild your life.

Support the show

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Most men think porn addiction is about lust, lack of discipline, or not wanting freedom badly enough.

It’s not.

In this episode of the No More Desire Podcast, I sit down with Jordan Castille, a coach who works with men navigating pornography addiction, shame, and same-sex attraction, to have a conversation most recovery spaces still avoid.

We talk about how bullying, rejection, and emotional trauma can shape a man’s relationship with porn long before he ever understands what’s happening inside him.

For many men, porn addiction isn’t driven by pleasure — it’s driven by pain, isolation, and the deep belief that “something about me is wrong.”

Jordan shares his personal story of growing up in a conservative faith environment, experiencing same-sex attraction, enduring bullying, and using porn as a way to cope with shame and loneliness. Together, we unpack how trauma wires the nervous system, how sexual desire becomes symbolic, and why trying to “just stop” porn use often backfires.

This episode goes beyond surface-level advice and into the root causes of porn addiction, including identity confusion, emotional neglect, and the unmet need for belonging.

We also explore how healing happens not through suppression, but through understanding, self-leadership, and healthy connection with other men.

If you’ve ever felt broken, abnormal, or alone in your struggle with pornography addiction — this conversation will change how you see yourself.

In this episode, we explore:

• Why porn addiction is often a trauma response, not a moral failure
• How bullying, shame, and rejection shape compulsive porn use
• The connection between trauma and porn addiction in men
• Same-sex attraction, identity, and pornography addiction
• Why sexual triggers are signals, not enemies
• How shame and isolation fuel porn addiction relapse cycles
• Using triggers as trailheads for healing instead of fighting them
• Masculinity, belonging, and emotional healing for men
• How parts work and nervous system regulation support recovery
• A healthier, shame-free framework for overcoming porn addiction

This episode is for men who are tired of white-knuckling, tired of feeling defective, and ready to understand why porn has had such a hold on their lives — and how real, lasting porn addiction recovery actually works.

You’re not weak.

You’re not broken.

And you’re not alone.

Explore more of Jordan's work at: https://www.castillecoaching.com/

Link to Blog Article for this Episode

If you’re ready to build the mindset and lifestyle that lead to long-term freedom from porn addiction, visit NoMoreDesire.com and apply for my 1-on-1 Porn Addiction Recovery Coaching Program. You’ll gain the structured tools, accountability, and training you need to transform not only your habits—but your heart.

Grab my Free eBook and Free Workshop for more strategies to overcome porn addiction, rewire your brain, and rebuild your life

Support the show

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If you’ve ever said to yourself, “Porn ruined my life” — but still find yourself going back to it — this episode is for you.

For years, I believed quitting porn was about discipline, willpower, and avoiding temptation. But what I eventually discovered — both in my own recovery and in my work with men — is that porn addiction isn’t just about pleasure. It’s about attachment. And often, it’s an attachment not only to pleasure… but to pain.

In this episode, I explore a side of porn addiction recovery that almost no one talks about: grieving your porn addiction.

Whether you realize it or not, porn has likely been a relationship in your life — a companion you turned to for comfort, escape, connection, control, or relief from emotional pain. And when you try to quit porn without understanding what it’s been doing for you emotionally, your nervous system resists. That’s why porn cravings feel so powerful. That’s why relapse feels inevitable. And that’s why so many men stay stuck in shame-based cycles.

We dive deep into the psychology and neuroscience of porn addiction, including:

• Why your brain can become attached to both pleasure and punishment
• How early emotional wounds and trauma shape porn use
• Why your sexual fantasies aren’t random — and what they reveal about unmet emotional needs
• How attachment to familiarity (even painful familiarity) keeps porn addiction alive
• Why willpower alone fails — and what actually leads to lasting recovery

I also walk you through a step-by-step emotional process for grieving porn — not shaming it, not white-knuckling it, but understanding it — so you can finally leave it behind without fear, self-hatred, or constant relapse.

If you’re tired of fighting yourself…
If you feel disconnected from your body, your relationships, or your purpose…
If quitting porn feels harder than it “should”…

You’re not broken. And you’re not weak.

You may simply be trying to walk away from something your nervous system believes it still needs — without honoring the grief underneath it.

This episode will help you understand:

• What porn has been symbolically trying to give you
• What you’re afraid of losing if you let it go
• And how to meet those needs in ways that actually align with who you are

This is porn addiction recovery rooted in psychology, emotional healing, and compassion — not fear or control.

Listen in, and let’s talk about the real path to freedom.

Link to Blog Article for this episode

If you’re looking for deeper support and real connection in recovery, I’m opening the No More Desire Brotherhood on January 15th. The pre-launch is open right now, and when you join you’ll get free lifetime access to my 4 Pillars of Recovery mini-course, plus exclusive pre-launch bonuses. You can learn more and join here: https://www.nomoredesire.com/prelaunch

Grab my Free eBook and Free Workshop for more strategies to overcome porn addiction, rewire your brain, and rebuild your life.

Support the show

No More Desire

"Why can’t I stay hard?"

It’s one of the most painful, confusing, and silent questions men carry — and one that too many men are afraid to ask out loud.

If you’ve ever lost your erection during sex, if you’ve ever felt performance anxiety take over your body, if you can get aroused with porn but struggle with a real partner, or if you’ve wondered whether porn addiction has rewired your brain and damaged your ability to connect —

This episode is for you.

In today’s conversation, I sit down with Shay Doran, a men’s coach who specializes in helping men overcome erectile dysfunction, sexual performance anxiety, and porn-related arousal issues. Shay has lived this struggle himself — and now helps men all over the world rebuild confidence, presence, and intimacy from the inside out.

This is not a surface-level conversation.

We go deep into the psychology of performance anxiety, the neuroscience of arousal, and the emotional patterns that keep men stuck in shame, overthinking, and disconnection.

We talk about why erectile dysfunction in young men is becoming more common, why pills often fail to fix the real problem, and how porn conditioning quietly trains the brain away from real intimacy.

But most importantly, we talk about how to heal.

We talk honestly about masculinity, self-esteem, and how many men use porn as a way to prove to themselves that they’re “still okay” — even while it slowly deepens the disconnection they’re trying to escape.

If you’ve ever thought, “What’s wrong with me?”, if you’ve felt broken, ashamed, or afraid, this issue will ruin your relationship, and if you want real answers instead of generic advice

This episode will meet you right where you are.

You’re not broken, your body isn’t failing you, and this struggle doesn’t define your worth as a man.

It’s a signal — and it can be healed.

Check out Shay's Youtube at: https://www.youtube.com/@shay-doran
Interested in taking Shays Performance Anxiety Quiz? : https://shay-doran.com/free-quiz/

If you’re looking for deeper support and real connection in recovery, I’m opening the No More Desire Brotherhood on January 15th. The pre-launch is open right now, and when you join you’ll get free lifetime access to my 4 Pillars of Recovery mini-course, plus exclusive pre-launch bonuses. You can learn more and join here: https://www.nomoredesire.com/prelaunch

Grab my Free eBook and Free Workshop for more strategies to overcome porn addiction, rewire your brain, and rebuild your life.

Support the show

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Most men don’t struggle with porn addiction because they lack discipline.

They struggle because they were never taught how to understand, regulate, or work with their emotions.

In this episode, I sit down with Rich Savoy—a coach, leader with Husband Material, and longtime mentor to men—to have one of the most honest conversations I’ve ever had about men, emotions, masculinity, and porn addiction recovery. We go beneath behavior and willpower and into the emotional and psychological roots that quietly keep men stuck in the cycle of shame, relapse, and self-criticism.

If you’ve tried to quit porn and found yourself asking “Why do I keep going back?”—this episode will give you clarity, relief, and a new path forward.

In this conversation, we explore:

• Why porn addiction is rarely about sex—and almost always about emotional pain
• How emotional suppression and shame fuel compulsive porn use in men
• The difference between healthy masculinity and the “man box” most of us were raised in
• Why willpower fails and emotional intelligence changes everything
• How Internal Family Systems (IFS) and parts work explain porn addiction at the root
• Why the part of you that turns to porn isn’t broken—and what it’s actually trying to protect

We also talk candidly about firefighter parts, shame cycles, emotional avoidance, and why many faith-based or performance-driven recovery approaches unintentionally make porn addiction worse.

This episode is for men who are tired of fighting themselves.

Men who want to overcome porn addiction without shame.

Men who are ready to reclaim masculinity through presence, emotional awareness, and self-leadership—not suppression.

If you’ve ever felt trapped between wanting to be strong and feeling deeply human at the same time, this conversation will resonate.

Resources mentioned:

• Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy
• No Bad Parts by Dr. Richard Schwartz
• Altogether You by Jenna Riemersma
• Boundaries for Your Soul by Kim Miller
• Podcasts and teachings from Drew Boa and Husband Material

If this episode helped you, I’d encourage you to listen with an open mind—and share it with a man who needs to hear that he’s not broken, weak, or beyond hope.

Porn addiction recovery is possible.

And it starts with emotional healing.

Explore more of Rich's work at:https://www.husbandmaterial.com/

Link to Blog Article for this Episode

If you’re ready to build the mindset and lifestyle that lead to long-term freedom from porn addiction, visit NoMoreDesire.com and apply for my 1-on-1 Porn Addiction Recovery Coaching Program. You’ll gain the structured tools, accountability, and training you need to transform not only your habits—but your heart.

Grab my Free eBook and Free Workshop for more strategies to overcome porn addiction, rewire your brain, and rebuild your life

Support the show

No More Desire

When I first started building a real recovery lifestyle, I believed the answer to breaking porn addiction was more control — more discipline, more structure, more “push harder.”

But the truth is, that mindset only kept me trapped in dopamine overload, emotional numbness, and a constant battle against myself.

In this episode, I sit down with my friend Jeremy Lipkowitz — former Buddhist monk, mindfulness teacher, and founder of The Unhooked Academy — to explore a radically different, science-backed path to freedom from porn addiction.

Together, we break down how chronic stimulation from smartphones, social media, and porn fragments your attention, dysregulates your nervous system, and keeps you from feeling present, alive, and connected to the people you love.

We dive into the neuroscience behind dopamine dysregulation, the psychology of shame and perfectionism, and the emotional patterns that keep men locked in compulsive behavior. I share what happened during my own 30-day presence challenge — how putting my phone away transformed my marriage, my mental clarity, and my sense of identity — and why learning to cultivate presence, embodiment, and noble pleasure is essential to losing your desire for porn.

This conversation blends neuroscience, mindfulness, masculine leadership, and real emotional healing to show you how to rewire your brain, regulate your emotions, and build a recovery mindset defined by presence, purpose, and genuine internal peace.

In This Episode, We Explore:
• Why willpower and white-knuckling fail — and how awareness and emotional regulation create real freedom from porn addiction
• How dopamine overload from technology and porn trains your brain for distraction, restlessness, and chronic dissatisfaction
• The difference between base pleasures and noble pleasures — and how earned dopamine rebuilds identity and direction
• How shame, fear, and perfectionism fuel addiction — and how to transform painful emotions instead of escaping them
• The role of mindfulness, presence, and embodiment in healing the nervous system and rewiring cravings
• Why smartphone addiction and porn addiction are neurologically intertwined — and how a simple phone detox can reset your brain
• How relational connection, vulnerability, and community become powerful antidotes to cravings and isolation
• Practical methods to rewire your brain through mindfulness, intentional routines, and recovery-focused habits

If you’ve been fighting yourself in recovery, this conversation will help you make peace with your mind, reconnect with your body, and build a lifestyle where porn no longer has a pull on you.

You don’t overcome porn addiction by forcing yourself to be stronger.
You overcome it by becoming more present, more aware, and more connected to what truly brings you life.

Link to the Blog Article for This Episode

If you’re ready to build the mindset and lifestyle that lead to long-term freedom from porn addiction, visit NoMoreDesire.com and apply for my 1-on-1 Porn Addiction Recovery Coaching Program. You’ll gain the structured tools, accountability, and training you need to transform not only your habits—but your heart.

Grab my Free eBook and Free Workshop for more strategies to overc

Support the show

No More Desire

If you’ve ever wondered why you can’t “just stop” watching porn—why you cycle through cravings, shame, self-promises, and relapse—this episode will change the way you see your struggle forever. Because the truth is, porn addiction is not a willpower problem. It’s a nervous system problem.

In this episode, I’m joined by my friend and colleague Chris Chandler, a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist (CSAT), trauma specialist, and one of the most grounded, brilliant men I know in the world of addiction neuroscience, trauma healing, and nervous system regulation. Together, we break down the deep biological, emotional, and spiritual roots of pornography addiction and why most men stay stuck for years without ever understanding why.

We explore polyvagal theory, the fight-flight-freeze response, and how sympathetic activation, dorsal vagal shutdown, and ventral vagal connection shape everything—from your cravings and emotional triggers to your patterns of withdrawal, anxiety, and relational disconnection.

This isn’t just another conversation about “trying harder.”
This is about learning how your body, brain, and nervous system actually work—and how to regulate yourself in moments of anxiety, craving, emotional pain, conflict, and stress.

We discuss practical strategies for recovery, including:

• Vagus nerve regulation
• Breathwork for anxiety
• Embodiment practices that increase emotional presence
• IFS (Internal Family Systems) for understanding your protective parts
• Healthy boundaries and relational repair
• Mindfulness for addiction
• And why the opposite of addiction is connection, not sobriety

If you’re ready to stop feeling defeated…
If you’re ready to stop fighting your body and start understanding it…
If you’re ready to step into grounded masculinity, emotional depth, and real long-term recovery…

Explore more of Chris's work at: https://www.breathtobones.com/
Learn more about his program at: https://www.joinrelay.app/

Link to Blog Article for this Episode

If you’re ready to build the mindset and lifestyle that lead to long-term freedom from porn addiction, visit NoMoreDesire.com and apply for my 1-on-1 Porn Addiction Recovery Coaching Program. You’ll gain the structured tools, accountability, and training you need to transform not only your habits—but your heart.

Grab my Free eBook and Free Workshop for more strategies to overcome porn addiction, rewire your brain, and rebuild your life

Support the show

No More Desire