Episodi

  • When Pride & Shame Heal, Love Grows

    When Pride & Shame Heal, Love Grows
    Feb 23 2026
    February is the month of love- what is real love- real hesed- sacrificial love? How did Adam love Eve?

    Today is not our usual crew, but a discussion with guest Russell Grigsby about a book that radically changed his mindset about loving his wife well.

    In this episode of Just the Guys, Dan sits down with entrepreneur and executive coach Russell Grigsby to talk about late-in-life autism diagnosis, trauma, pride, and the hard work of rebuilding a marriage. Russell shares how childhood wounds, avoidant attachment, and unrecognized autism shaped his relationships — and how confronting shame, embracing humility, and rethinking biblical leadership transformed his life at home. Through books, prayer, coaching, and intentional growth, he learned to stop trying to fix his spouse and instead take responsibility for his own healing. The result is a marriage marked by safety, connection, and hope. This conversation is an honest look at what happens when a man chooses humility over defensiveness and growth over comfort.

    Books Mentioned:
    • Mending the Soul Groups found at: MendingthesoulFind a Group

    • Adam loves Eve

    • Escaping Enemy Mode

    • Brene Brown's books on Shame and Vulnerability

    About Russell:
    Russell is passionate about encouraging others to fulfill their destiny. In one-on-one settings, Russell helps men and women discover what they are designed to do and then pursue their calling. After receiving an MBA from SMU in 1982, Russell began his career in commercial banking in Austin, Texas. After six years in banking, he joined a series of startups as CFO. He discovered he loved the startup process and began founding and running his own companies.

    Since 1993, he has run financial services, biotech, real estate, and mining companies. He loves building new businesses and creating a vision for their success. Russell is excited to work as a C12 Chair and call on his long entrepreneurial career to help others accomplish their God-given dreams. He loves meeting with people one-on-one to hear their stories and hear about their calling.

    Along the way, Russell has passionately pursued intimacy with God. As a follower of Jesus since 1967, Russell has had a profound relationship with God that continues to grow daily. He is a retreat speaker and loves to teach about living with greater power and authority as a believer in Jesus.

    Russell and his wife, Gina, live in Southwest Austin. They share five grown sons and a daughter.
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    51 min
  • PART 2 - Is your NeuroDiverse Christian Coach_Counsel Gold Standard with ND Peer Panel

    PART 2 - Is your NeuroDiverse Christian Coach_Counsel Gold Standard with ND Peer Panel
    Feb 16 2026
    Welcome back to part 2 of the Gold Standard of Care!

    If you did not hear part one, go back to January 19th to hear the panel introductions and what we believe is the Gold standard of care! We talk through some myths and stereotypes and share some truths about autism/neurodiversity and marriage.

    Jeremy tackles: Should you force a neurodivergent partner to undergo assessment?
    Barbara: Neurodiversity is not the ONLY issue in your marriage.
    Jenilee: Autism can express itself differently in girls/women
    Robin: Emotional Regulation is part of Executive Function and is not a character issue
    Shawna: It is a fallacy that ND people should be encouraged to watch porn to learn how to have sex or what
    their spouses would like in their intimate life
    Dan: While you may never achieve the level of empath as an ND/AS husband, you can become more relational
    Stephanie: What is the cause of autism? How to read research critically.

    The study Dr. Stephanie mentions that holds a high standard of research credibility: Association of Genetic and Environmental Factors With Autism in a 5-Country Cohort

(2019)

    FULL study available: journals/jamapsychiatry/fullarticle/2737582
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    45 min
  • Only Chasing Safety Humanizes Both Spouses with Jeremy Rochford

    Only Chasing Safety Humanizes Both Spouses with Jeremy Rochford
    Feb 9 2026
    Today, our guest is Jeremy Rochford of NeuroFM and a fellow Neurodiverse couples' coach! Jeremy is a regular on Just the Guys, and today he talks about his coaching model, Only Chasing Safety (OCS). Why is safety important, and is it okay to rob someone else's safety for your safety?
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    43 min
  • How and Who You Love Shapes Who You Are

    How and Who You Love Shapes Who You Are
    Feb 2 2026
    Today, in the month of love, we talk about sacrificial love in your neurodiverse marriage. Many view this month of love and Valentine's Day as a day for big romantic gestures, but what about living out love every day? How is your love beneficial and sacrificial without giving up yourself? Dying to yourself does mean abandonment of self, but often there are competing needs and wants in an ND marriage.

    Part 2 will be on Patreon, and we will share more of what is going on in our personal lives, how, and what this means for us right now!

    Are you able to join hands or lock arms in hard times? Are you walking through life as friends, lovers, enemies, or strangers?
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    32 min
  • Black Friday, Cul de Sacs and Happy New Next

    Black Friday, Cul de Sacs and Happy New Next
    Jan 26 2026
    Summary:
    In this first episode of the year, the guys crack open the idea of what it means to be new—not just with gym memberships and resolutions, but deep in the rewiring of old patterns, assumptions, and emotional blind spots.
    Dan kicks things off by admitting his old “default setting” was to walk in the door wondering what he’d done wrong—proof that sometimes the battlefield is the hallway between the garage and the living room. From there, Jeremy confesses his own default: being right about everything. But a surprising comment from his son at a hockey game (“There’s so much more going on than what’s on TV”) hits him like a puck to the head and opens up a whole new way of seeing relationships.
    Kevin brings in the pastor’s line, “Do you want to be right, or do you want to win?”—and discovers that relational victory doesn’t always mean keeping score. Dan, meanwhile, reflects on curiosity as an antidote to assumption, while Jeff learns that geology may rock, but people matter more.
    Between dad jokes about rock stars, cul-de-sacs, and Fraggle Rock sing-alongs, the group lands somewhere between reflection and revelation:
    Becoming aware of your patterns.
    Accepting feedback without self-defense.
    Taking action toward connection, not correction.
    By the end, they circle back to hope. If yesterday was about living on autopilot, this year is about choosing manual drive. “Participating in my own discovery,” Dan quips, “gives me the opportunity to participate in my own recovery.”
    So whether you’re trying to read a face, repair a marriage, or just survive mornings before coffee, this conversation reminds you—every default can be rewritten.
    Pull Quotes
    “There’s so much more going on than what’s on the screen.”
    “Do you want to be right, or do you want to win?”
    “Participating in my own discovery gives me the opportunity to participate in my own recovery.”
    #justtheguys #danholmes #actuallyautistic #neurodiversecoupletips #neurodiverse men
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    42 min
  • PART 1 - Is your NeuroDiverse Christian Coach_Counsel Gold Standard with ND Peer Panel

    PART 1 - Is your NeuroDiverse Christian Coach_Counsel Gold Standard with ND Peer Panel
    Jan 19 2026
    42 min
  • NEW Lens NEW Perspective: NeuroDiversity is the New Piece Not the Only Piece

    NEW Lens NEW Perspective: NeuroDiversity is the New Piece Not the Only Piece
    Jan 12 2026
    New year - new you- or at least a new perspective of yourself and your neurodiverse marriage! So many times, once the diagnosis is made, the sole focus can become the autism/neurodiversity, but Dr. Stephanie & Barbara talk about the many complexities that make up a neurodiverse Christian marriage!
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    51 min
  • Atomic Habits for the New Year for Your NeuroDiverse Relationship Part 1

    Atomic Habits for the New Year for Your NeuroDiverse Relationship Part 1
    Jan 5 2026
    It's 2026, and Dan and Stephanie start our podcast series this year on Atomic Habits. The month of January is all about NEW! Remember, Patreon is new! Part 2 of the discussion is on Patreon.
    In Atomic Habits, James Clear reminds us that real change doesn’t come from dramatic overhauls but from small, consistent actions that add up over time. For neurodiverse marriages, this principle is especially powerful. Many couples feel stuck because change seems overwhelming or unpredictable. But Clear’s 1% rule—tiny improvements repeated daily—offers a realistic, hopeful path forward for both partners.

    Clear also emphasizes identity formation, teaching that habits don’t just shape what we do; they shape who we believe we are. “Every action is a vote for the type of person you wish to become.” This aligns beautifully with the work Dan and Stephanie bring in from Dr. Jim Wilder, who teaches that identity is formed through relational attachment, joy, and repeated experiences of being our best self with others. When neurodiverse couples practice small relational habits—brief check-ins, shared cues, predictable routines—they aren’t only improving communication; they're also building trust. They are reinforcing a shared identity as a couple who grow, learns, and repair together.

    Starting small is essential for neurodiverse relationships. A five-minute conversation, one shared calendar habit, a single expression of appreciation, or one consistent environmental cue (like a reminder note or visual schedule) can be far more effective than trying to overhaul everything at once. Slow, steady repetition makes habits dependable, which builds trust and safety—core needs for both neurodiverse and neurotypical partners.

    The message is simple and deeply encouraging: meaningful change in a neurodiverse marriage doesn’t require perfection or intensity. It requires small, steady steps and a shared commitment to becoming the couple God is forming you to be—one daily habit at a time.
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    35 min