When you've spent your whole life accommodating your narcissistic mother's behavior, it can be hard to recognize just how unacceptable some of it really is.

What would alarm you if it happened to someone you love can feel like just another Tuesday when it's happening to you.

This week on Mayhem, we're talking about what happens when a mother refuses to respect no contact, how familiar boundary violations can become serious safety concerns, and why daughters deserve to take their own safety seriously.

You don't have to do any of this alone.

Join us. MayhemDaughters.com/community

The holidays can become incredibly mother-centered even when you’re working really hard to set boundaries.

You’re thinking about whether she’s coming. How long you’ll stay. What she might say. Whether she’ll be angry. Who she’ll call afterward. Whether you need an exit plan. How you’ll respond if she makes a scene.

And suddenly, she has taken up most of the emotional real estate of a holiday that is supposed to belong to you, too.

This week on Mayhem, I want us to think bigger than holiday boundaries.

Who else belongs in your holiday? What traditions actually matter to you? What would make the season easier on you?What do you need before and after the difficult parts? And what part of the holiday could have absolutely nothing to do with your mother at all?

You may not be able to create a holiday without grief, guilt, fear, or difficult people.

But maybe you can create one with a little more room for you.

What happens when you change, but your family keeps holding onto an old version of you?

This week on Mayhem, a conversation with my family brought me face-to-face with an old story about who I was growing up. We’re talking about why families can become invested in keeping certain stories about us intact, what can happen when our growth challenges those stories, and why healing doesn’t always require getting the people who knew us then to understand who we are now.

You don’t have to do any of this alone.

Join Us. MayhemDaughters.com/community

Why can setting a boundary with a narcissistic or emotionally unsafe mother feel completely different when she is actually standing in front of you?

This week on Mayhem, we’re talking about what happens when you know what you want, make a plan, and still find yourself falling back into old patterns of accommodating your mother.

We also look at what can happen when becoming a parent brings your own childhood back to the surface, and how to think about your parents’ relationship with your children when contact with them still comes at a cost.

You don’t have to do any of this alone. Join us. MayhemDaughters.com/community

Growing up with a narcissistic or emotionally limited mother can leave daughters carrying shame into places they don’t even recognize as shame.

In this episode, we’re talking about why shame can become such a powerful survival strategy, how it gets tangled up with needs, mistakes, attention, pleasure, and taking up space, and what can begin to change when you stop assuming shame is telling you the truth about who you are.

You don’t have to do any of this alone. Join us: MayhemDaughters.com/community

What do you do when your narcissistic mother can look loving, supportive, or generous in public, but your private experience of her keeps telling you something very different?

This week on Mayhem, we’re talking about the confusion that can come when other people see a version of your mother that doesn’t match the one you know. We look at how one loving gesture can make daughters question years of experience, how easily old family dynamics can pull you away from yourself, and the questions that can help you decide what you actually want next.|

You don’t have to do any of this alone. Join us. ⁠MayhemDaughters.com/community⁠

What happens when your narcissistic mother turns the family against you and everyone starts treating you like the problem?

This week on Mayhem, we’re talking about what can happen when a difficult mother-daughter relationship spreads into the rest of the family. We look at triangulation, family scapegoating, smear campaigns, enmeshment, and the pressure daughters often feel to keep the peace or hold the family together, even when doing so costs them.

We also talk about what it means to trust your own experience when other family members have accepted a very different version of the story.

This episode includes discussion of childhood abuse, sexual boundary violations, eating disorders, family manipulation, suicidal ideation, and suicide attempts. Please take care of yourself while listening.

Join the community: MayhemDaughters.com/community

Guilt can be one of the hardest parts of healing from a narcissistic or emotionally limited mother. How do you know when guilt means you’ve actually done something wrong and when it’s the result of breaking an old rule about what a “good daughter” is supposed to be?

This week, we’re talking about guilt, obligation, boundaries, and complex grief in difficult mother-daughter relationships. How do you decide what you actually owe a parent who hurt you? And how do you make painful decisions about contact, caregiving, or family relationships without allowing guilt to make those decisions for you?

This episode includes discussion of childhood physical abuse, sexual boundary violations, racism, and disturbing revelations about a family member’s sexual behavior involving a child. Please take care of yourself while listening.

Join the community: MayhemDaughters.com/community