Have you ever noticed that you feel worse after seeing or talking to your mother? More anxious, irritable, shut down, flooded, or exhausted? If so, this episode is for you.

In this episode, I break down why your body and nervous system may flare up after contact with your mother, especially after you’ve done some healing work. We talk about why this reaction is not regression, not weakness, and not a sign that you’re doing anything wrong. Often, it’s a sign that your nervous system is more awake, more honest, and less willing to dissociate in order to survive.

You’ll learn how loosening a boundary with good intentions can still lead to nervous system dysregulation, why going back to old dynamics can feel harder once you see them clearly, and how your body responds when it’s holding two truths at the same time: “I used to survive this” and “I no longer should have to.”

I also walk you through how to tell whether you’re in intense dysregulation, more regulated, or living in the messy middle, and what actually helps in each state. Instead of forcing clarity or rushing into action, we focus on becoming a better friend to your nervous system and responding to what it’s truly asking for.

This episode is for daughters who feel confused by their reactions, frustrated by their bodies, or worried that healing is making things harder. There’s nothing wrong here. Your nervous system is simply doing exactly what it was designed to do.

Key takeaway: We don’t rush nervous systems into clarity. We earn their trust first.

Resources & Support: If you’re a member of the Mayhem Daughters community, you’ll find a companion post and worksheet inside The Work to help you walk through this in real time. If you’re not yet inside the community, you can learn more at MayhemDaughters.com

When healing reaches a point of no return, trauma brain often turns on you.

This week, we’re unpacking why daughters of narcissistic or emotionally limited mothers default to self-blame and guilt even when the truth is clear. You may intellectually know that your mother was incapable of showing up differently, and still find yourself wondering, What if it was me? or Why do I feel so guilty now?

This episode breaks down the nervous system logic behind self-blame and guilt, explaining why these responses are not signs that you’re wrong, weak, or confused, but signs of a system shaped by survival, loyalty, and conditioning.

We’ll walk through what “doing the work” actually looks like when guilt and self-blame are running the show. We’ll have grounded practices and journaling invitations for daughters at different stages of healing, whether you’re feeling deeply dysregulated or you’ve been around the block and still get pulled back into old patterns.

This episode is part of a larger arc inside Mayhem focused on learning how to stand with yourself, trust your wise mind, and stop turning on yourself when healing gets real.

Join Mayhem Daughters: MayhemDaughters.com/community

If you were raised by a covert narcissistic mother, your memory was not the problem. The label was. Daughters often reach for the word “covert” because the other word feels too big. Narcissist feels like an accusation. Covert feels softer. But calling it covert often waters down your own reality. It shifts the focus away from what happened and toward whether you misread the signs. It turns the daughter into the unreliable narrator of her own life.

This episode is here to help you stop softening the story so the story can finally make sense.

Today we talk about why daughters of covert narcissists struggle with remembering what happened, why they doubt their own perception, and why so much of the abuse feels blurry even when the impact is crystal clear. We look at how loyalty, silence, emotional attunement, and caretaking turn into survival patterns that protect the child and confuse the adult.

Then we help you reframe what “covert” really means. Because most of what gets labeled covert was actually happening in plain sight. Your body noticed. Your emotions noticed. The tension noticed. The exhaustion noticed. The numbness noticed. The only thing that did not notice was the part of you that had to stay loyal.

This is a conversation for daughters who have spent years wondering why they cannot remember the details but cannot escape the feelings. You are not unreliable. You are not dramatic. You were adapting.

If you grew up with a covert narcissistic mother, this is the episode I wish I had done ages ago.And you don’t have to heal alone. Find us: MayhemDaughters.com