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Step Nine: Making Amends

This week on Made for Mondays, Heather is joined by Doug, Tyler, and Jamey to talk about Step 9 — making direct amends whenever possible. Before diving into the conversation, the group catches up about the weekend and reflects on the Bible Reading Challenge, currently in Deuteronomy and Mark.

WHAT THE WHAT???

Listener Sarah Beth wrote in with a thoughtful question after reading the Parable of the Ten Virgins (Matthew 25). She shared how the passage seems to highlight the difference between outward association with faith and genuine readiness for Christ’s return.

Her question connects this parable with other passages like Matthew 7:21–23 and James 2:19, asking how we understand the tension between believing in God and actually having a relationship with Jesus.

More personally, she shares the heavy burden many Christians feel for loved ones who claim faith but don’t seem to pursue a relationship with Christ. The group acknowledges that tension—we can’t see anyone’s heart, but love naturally makes us care deeply about the spiritual lives of the people around us.

SUNDAY DISH

The conversation then turns to Step 9: making amends.

Why apologizing feels so hard
Doug shares a vulnerable moment about scrolling through old text messages and realizing how many apologies existed in his conversations. It sparked reflection on why apologizing can feel so difficult—even when we know we were wrong. Often the biggest hurdle is moving from feeling bad to actually taking responsibility.

The deeper weight of the Prodigal Son story
Looking at the Prodigal Son in Luke 15, Doug explains that asking for an inheritance early in that culture wasn’t just reckless—it was deeply offensive and relationally damaging. Understanding that helps us see why honest acknowledgment of harm matters before we try to repair relationships.

Real repair vs surface apologies
Doug shares a quote from John Ortberg:
“It’s one thing to make repairs on the outside, it’s another thing to be repaired on the inside.”

Surface apologies often focus on restoring peace quickly, but real repentance allows God to address the deeper patterns that caused the hurt in the first place.

A practical framework for making amends
Doug introduces the CRAFT framework for approaching difficult conversations:

• Conversation
• Recalling the harm honestly
• Apologizing clearly
• Forgiveness (asking, not demanding)
• Taking responsibility through follow-up

The group also highlights an important caution from Step 9: sometimes direct contact could cause further harm, so wisdom and discernment matter.

When amends don’t lead to reconciliation
Even in the Prodigal Son story, the older brother remains angry. That reminds us that sincere apologies don’t always bring immediate reconciliation. Healing can take time, and a healthy community makes room for both repentance and wounded people processing their pain.

Where to begin
For anyone who already knows the name on their Step 9 list but feels anxious or unsure, the first step might simply be preparation—prayer, reflection, humility, and pacing the process wisely.

Final Reflect

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Made for Mondays | STEPS

Step Eight: The Damage: Name Those We've Harmed

This week on Made for Mondays, Heather is joined by Tyler, Jamey, and RaChelle for a conversation around one of the most stretching steps yet: Step 8 — making a list of people we’ve harmed and becoming willing to make amends.

After some light weekend catch-up (including dinner at Lofay’s 👏), the group reflects on the Bible Reading Challenge, walking through Numbers and Mark, and noticing themes of new life in Jesus—especially how Paul and other Jews wrestled with what transformation actually meant.

Then they step into Sunday’s message.

And let’s be honest—Step 8 hits differently.

Because it’s one thing to talk about personal growth.
It’s another thing to start naming the people impacted by our brokenness.

Here’s where the conversation goes:

• The first reaction
When you hear, “Make a list of people you’ve harmed,” what rises up first? Resistance? Fear? Defensiveness? Maybe even relief? The group unpacks why that reaction is so common. Naming harm confronts the image we prefer to manage—the version of ourselves we’re most comfortable believing.

• Why we remember our hurt more clearly than our harm
Drawing from Tyler’s “two lists” tension, the conversation explores why it’s easier to recall who hurt us than where we’ve hurt others—even unintentionally. It reveals something deeply human: we instinctively experience life from the center of our own story. Step 8 gently invites us to shift perspective.

• Zacchaeus and dignified shame (Luke 19)
Luke includes the detail that Zacchaeus climbs a tree—an undignified act for a grown man in that culture. Why does that matter? The group reflects on how shame isolates, but Jesus moves toward him anyway. Even more powerful: Jesus calls Zacchaeus by name before repentance or repair happens.

Being seen with grace makes honesty possible.
Grace doesn’t excuse harm—it creates the safety to face it.

• Grace and responsibility belong together
Heather repeats a key line: “Grace doesn’t make responsibility unnecessary—it makes it possible.”
The group discusses why grace is often misunderstood as the removal of accountability instead of the empowerment to embrace it. What would change if a church truly believed conviction and compassion could coexist?

They also name the important distinction between conviction (which invites growth) and condemnation (which attacks identity).

• Cleaning up our side of the street
Step 8 asks us to own our part—even when we’ve also been hurt. That’s a hard tension. The conversation makes space for the reality that acknowledging harm we’ve caused doesn’t minimize wounds we’ve experienced. Both can be true. The key is resisting comparison and scorekeeping, which only delay freedom.

• Beginning, not finishing (Year of Practice)
In alignment with The Year of Practice, the focus shifts from completing Step 8 to simply beginning it well.

A healthy first attempt might look like:

• Choosing posture before productivity
• Pacing the process instead of rushing it
• Exercising safety and wisdom
• Distinguishing willingness from full readiness

Because Step 8 isn’t about

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Made for Mondays | STEPS

Step Seven: The Petition

This week on Made for Mondays, Joe is joined by Heather, Jamey, and Tyler for a conversation centered on Step 7 in the STEPS journey: The Petition.

After some weekend catch-up (yes, Olympics enthusiasm makes an appearance 👀), the group reflects on the Bible Reading Challenge, having just stepped into Numbers and Mark, before diving into Sunday’s message.

And before things get too serious? An Olympic icebreaker. Favorite sport. Strong opinions. No medals awarded—just bragging rights.

Then the conversation turns toward the heart of Step 7.

Pastor Heather framed this step around a powerful idea:
Humility begins when asking feels safer than hiding.

Step 7 invites us to humbly ask God to remove what we cannot—to stop performing and start trusting.

Here’s where the conversation goes:

• Asking vs. hiding
The group reflects on a simple but revealing question: Are you more likely to ask for help—or hide what you’re dealing with? For many of us, hiding feels easier. Safer. More controlled. But hiding also keeps us stuck.

• The Samaritan Woman (John 4)
Heather revisits the story of the Samaritan woman at the well. Jesus asks her for a drink before addressing her story. He doesn’t shame her. He doesn’t expose her. He creates safety first. The timing—noon—suggests she was avoiding people. And yet Jesus meets her there.

The group explores what this shows us about how Jesus approaches our shame—and what it might look like for us to create that same kind of safety for someone else. Where do we choose isolation over community? And what would one small, honest “ask” look like this week?

• Pride vs. humility
Referencing Dallas Willard, Heather highlights that humility grows when we stop pretending, stop presuming we’re already in the right, and stop pushing our will over others. The group wrestles with an important distinction: humble asking isn’t passive resignation. It’s active trust. It’s choosing dependence over self-protection.

• Safe enough to be honest
If humility begins when asking feels safer than hiding, what would it take for our church to truly be that safe? The group discusses the culture, language, leadership posture, and everyday practices that help a room feel safe enough for someone to say, “I’m not okay,” and still be lovingly moved toward healing.

• The OWN practice: Observe, Welcome, Name
Heather unpacks a practical tool for Step 7 in real time. Instead of enthroning our emotions—or ignoring them—we can:

• Observe what we’re feeling.
• Welcome it without panic or shame.
• Name it honestly before God.

The group walks through a real-life example—hurt leading to withdrawal—and what it looks like to pause in the moment, name the emotion, and ask God for help instead of hiding behind it.

Because Step 7 isn’t about pretending we’re stronger than we are.
It’s about admitting we’re not—and asking anyway.

The big idea stays simple and challenging:

Humility begins when asking feels safer than hiding.

And that kind of humility doesn’t grow overnight. It grows through small, honest prayers. Through noticing when the umbrella goes up. Throug

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Step Six: Becoming Entirely Ready

This week on Made for Mondays, Heather is joined by Jamey, Tyler, and RaChelle for a conversation about one of the most honest—and quietly confronting—steps in the STEPS journey: Step 6, becoming entirely ready for God to remove our defects of character.

After catching up on all things Night to Shine and Valentine’s Day, the group reflects on what stood out from this week’s Bible Reading Challenge (hello, Leviticus… and wrapping up Matthew 👀), before leaning into Sunday’s message.

Step 6 sounds hopeful at first. Who doesn’t want change?
But it also sounds slightly terrifying.

Because it’s one thing to want freedom.
It’s another thing to be entirely ready for God to actually change us.

This episode lives in that tension—the space between desire and readiness.

Here’s where the conversation goes:

• The gap between almost and entirely
Jamey names the deeply human space between being almost ready and entirely ready. The group reflects on why that gap is normal in spiritual life—and why growth so often unfolds in that in-between place.

• It’s not laziness—it’s division
Drawing from James 1’s image of being double-minded, the conversation explores what it looks like to pray sincere prayers while still rowing toward something else. The problem isn’t usually effort. It’s divided trust. We don’t often tell God “no”—we just quietly say “not yet.”

• Our modern “not yet” prayers
Referencing Augustine’s famous, “Lord, make me chaste… but not yet,” the group laughs—and then gets honest. Where do we postpone change today? Comfort, habits, relationships, control? Resistance rarely sounds rebellious. It usually sounds like “tomorrow.”

• Identity is the deeper issue
The heart of Step 6 isn’t behavior modification—it’s identity transformation. Jamey revisits three common identity lies:

• I am what I have.
• I am what people think of me.
• I am what I do.

If we believe those, then letting God change us can feel like losing ourselves. But if we are already God’s beloved, then change isn’t loss—it’s freedom.

• What didn’t make it into Sunday’s message
The group creates space for what couldn’t be said in the sermon—clarifying that readiness isn’t about emotional hype or dramatic surrender. It’s quieter than that. More honest. More patient.

• What becoming ready actually looks like
For the listener who feels resistance, the group makes it practical:
Becoming ready might look like noticing where you say “tomorrow.”
Naming your excuses honestly in prayer.
Sitting with God before trying to fix yourself.
Letting willingness be smaller—and slower—than you expected.

• Encouragement for the not-yet-ready heart
If you’re thinking, “I want to be entirely ready… but I’m not there,” the encouragement is simple: stay. Stay honest. Stay with God in that space. Readiness isn’t forced. It’s formed.

Step 6 reminds us that transformation doesn’t begin with trying harder.
It begins with becoming honest enough to admit where we’re not ready—and trusting God enough to stay there with Him.

That’s not failure.
That’s preparation.

Join Us This Sunday

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Made for Mondays | STEPS

Step Five: The Confession: Into The Light

This week on Made for Mondays, Jamey is joined by Tyler, RaChelle, and Doug for a conversation that leans into one of the most uncomfortable—and most life-giving—steps in the STEPS journey: Step 5, The Confession.

After some easy weekend chitchat (Olympics, Lunch with Jamey, Super Bowl energy, and all the usual real-life moments), the group shifts toward what God has been stirring through the Bible Reading Challenge, setting the stage for a deeper conversation.

Then they dig into Sunday’s message.

Confession often carries a lot of baggage. For many of us, it sounds intense, dramatic, or reserved for people with really messy lives. But what we heard on Sunday—and what this episode keeps circling back to—is a simpler, more disruptive truth: healing happens in the light.

Rather than re-preaching the message, this episode slows things down. The group sits with Step 5, turns it over, and asks what it actually looks like to practice confession in everyday life, especially as part of what we’re calling The Year of Practice.

Here’s where the conversation goes:

• Confession as a rhythm, not a moment
The group reflects on the idea that confession isn’t a one-time spiritual event, but an ongoing rhythm in following Jesus. That shift surfaces both curiosity and resistance—especially for those who grew up seeing confession as something reserved for emergencies or major failures.

• Information vs. being known
They explore why it’s often easier to share facts about our lives than the true condition of our hearts. Confession, they note, isn’t about dumping information—it’s about allowing ourselves to be fully known.

• The real risk of being seen
Confession feels risky not because we don’t love Jesus, but because we can hide from people. The group names common fears: judgment, misunderstanding, and the possibility that a relationship might change once the truth is out in the open—and reflects on where those fears come from.

• “In solitude, we can convince ourselves of anything”
Tyler revisits a powerful line shared in a conversation at Believers, and the group unpacks how isolation makes it easier to minimize, rationalize, or delay change. Community, they reflect, interrupts those inner narratives and brings clarity where self-talk distorts reality.

• Who confession is for
James’ instruction—“confess your sins to each other”—opens a thoughtful discussion about discernment. Not everyone. Not no one. Each other. The group talks about what makes someone a safe and faithful witness, and why wisdom matters when choosing where confession lives.

• Confession as a spiritual discipline
Instead of asking why confession matters, the conversation turns practical: What would it look like to practice confession as a regular discipline rather than an emergency response? They explore how increased honesty, intentional relationships, and preventative rhythms could reshape spiritual growth.

• Accountability without shame
Accountability is reframed not as control, but as protection for the healing confession begins. The group reflects on how accountability has

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Made for Mondays | STEPS

Step Four: The Examination: A Fearless Inventory

This week on Made for Mondays, Heather is joined by Jamey, Adrienne, and Kirk for a conversation that might sound intimidating at first—but turns out to be deeply freeing. Together, they unpack Step 4 of the STEPS journey: a searching and fearless moral inventory.

Yes… fearless. Deep breaths.
And no—this is not a shame spiral.

After some weekend chitchat and reminding us all that we’re real people with real lives, the group reflects on this week’s Bible reading, centering especially on Psalm 139—a passage that is both comforting and confronting in the best possible way.

From there, the conversation moves into the heart of the step.

Pastor Jamey reframes moral inventory not as condemnation, but as inspection—bringing what’s real into God’s light so it can finally be healed. Anchored in Psalm 139 and shaped by the truth of Romans 8:1 (“There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”), Step 4 becomes less about self-punishment and more about Spirit-led honesty.

Here’s where the conversation goes:

• First reactions to “moral inventory”
The group starts light—but honest—naming the gut reactions many of us have when we hear that phrase: avoidance, anxiety, curiosity, or something else entirely. Those reactions often reveal how we’ve been taught to look at ourselves—and what we expect to happen when we do.

• Inspection vs. condemnation
Jamey talks about the subtle but important difference between avoiding self-examination out of fear and inviting God into the process with trust. One leads to hiding; the other leads to healing.

• Shame-based introspection vs. Spirit-led inventory
The group contrasts the inner spiral of shame with the gentle conviction of the Holy Spirit. They reflect on what helps them stay honest without turning inward reflection into self-punishment—and how “no condemnation” reshapes the entire process.

• From vague to specific
Referencing Lew Smedes’ insight that vague confession leads to vague forgiveness, the conversation explores how easy it is to hide behind general phrases like “I’m just struggling.” The group encourages naming the actual thing—carefully, honestly, and safely—so freedom can take root.

• The courage of Psalm 139
Psalm 139:23–24 becomes the centerpiece: “Search me, God… lead me.”
Why does that prayer feel risky? And what picture of God helps us trust Him enough to pray it anyway? The group reflects on inviting Jesus into one specific area of life this week—not harshly, but gently and truthfully.

• Practice, not pressure
As this Year of Practice continues, the group reminds listeners that Step 4 isn’t about rushing or fixing. It’s about cooperating with God. They discuss small, realistic ways to make space this week—through prayer, journaling, or quiet—for God to surface what actually needs attention next.

The episode closes with this reminder:
Step 4 isn’t about fixing yourself. It’s about trusting God.
You don’t have to do it fast.
You don’t have to do it alone.
And nothing you uncover is a surprise to Him.

The group also highlights the value of BeGroups—wh

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Made for Mondays | STEPS

Step Three: The Decision — “I Think I Will Let Him”

This week on Made for Mondays, Heather sits down with Jamey, Chelle, and Tyler to unpack Step Three of STEPS: The Decision—the moment where we stop white-knuckling our way forward and begin practicing surrender.

After weekend chitchat and reflecting on this week’s Bible reading from Genesis 49, Exodus 1–10, and Matthew 15–18, the conversation turns toward one of the most deceptively difficult spiritual shifts:
moving from trying harder to trusting deeper.

Pastor Jamey reminds us that we cannot heal our inner world through willpower alone. But when we release control and trust God’s care, He leads us toward shalom—not just peace as calm, but peace as wholeness. Surrender, as the group explores, isn’t giving up on life; it’s giving up our own way so Jesus can form something better on the other side.

Here’s what they dive into:

• The small places control shows up
From thermostats and dishwashers to driving directions and group texts, the group laughs—and then gets honest—about how control sneaks into everyday life. Those same instincts often follow us into our faith, especially when life feels uncertain.

• “God, fix this” vs. “God, lead me”
The conversation names a tension many of us recognize: praying for relief without actually wanting transformation. Whether it’s a relationship, a stressful season, or a recurring emotional pattern, the group reflects on how surrender often feels more threatening than the pain we already know.

• When surrender feels like loss
Looking at Jesus’ words in Matthew 16, the group wrestles with the idea that surrender can feel less like peace and more like losing control. What does surrender actually look like in normal, everyday life—and how do we take a concrete step when resistance shows up?

• The parts we give… and the parts we guard
Quoting C.S. Lewis, the group reflects on the truth that Jesus doesn’t want a portion of us—He wants all of us. They discuss which parts of life feel easiest to offer God, and which parts we carefully protect, along with how that changes when we trust that Jesus is freeing us, not undoing us.

• Praying differently
Where are we most tempted to pray “fix this”—and what would it sound like to pray “lead me” instead? The conversation highlights how community plays a vital role in keeping us honest when we slide back into control mode, reminding us that surrender isn’t meant to be practiced alone.

• Open hands, not clenched fists
Jamey revisits the powerful image from Sunday’s message: clenched fists versus open hands. The group reflects on what it means to physically and spiritually release control—and what it looks like to place something we’re holding tightly back into God’s care.

• A faithful next step
Rather than trying to be the Savior, the episode closes by inviting listeners to take one faithful next step this week—perhaps inviting a trusted person into the decision so surrender becomes a lived practice, not just a good idea.

Join Us This Sunday

We’re continuing STEPS and walking this journey together.

📍 On Campus: 9 & 10:45 AM (weather per

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Made for Mondays | STEPS

Step 1. The Problem: I Can't

This week on Made for Mondays, Heather is joined by Jamey, Adrienne, and Tyler as they continue the STEPS journey by unpacking Step One—the uncomfortable, freeing, and surprisingly hopeful place where real change begins.

After weekend chitchat and reflecting on this week’s Bible reading from Genesis 18 and Matthew 6, the conversation turns toward a truth many of us quietly avoid:
we are really good at managing appearances… and not very good at admitting powerlessness.

This episode explores what it means to stop pretending we have it together and start telling the truth about where we’re stuck—not in a dramatic collapse, but in the ordinary, Monday-morning kind of struggle where we keep thinking, “I should be further along by now.”

Here’s what they talk through:

• Powerlessness vs. image management
Step One invites us to admit we can’t control what’s broken in us—but most of us are far more fluent in curating competence. The group discusses where resistance shows up when the problem isn’t out there but in here, and why naming that honestly is harder than it sounds.

• “Not that bad” as a spiritual stall tactic
The phrase “it’s not that bad” gets exposed for what it often is: a quiet way of settling for less freedom than Jesus offers. The conversation explores why minimizing our struggles feels safer than naming our real withered hand—and how that safety actually keeps us stuck.

• Stretching what can’t stretch
Looking at Jesus healing the man with the withered hand, the group reflects on why Jesus asks him to do the very thing he cannot do. What does that reveal about how transformation actually begins—and how does it confront our instinct to fix, hide, or self-improve before showing up honestly?

• What makes honesty possible in church
Jamey shares the conviction that the church should be “the safest place in the world for a sinner.” The group wrestles with what helps create that kind of safety—and what shuts it down—both personally and communally.

• Whose eyes are we most aware of?
When we imagine being fully seen, whose gaze shapes us most: other people, our inner critic, or Jesus? The answer often determines what we’re willing to bring into the light—and what we keep hidden.

• A listener question worth sitting with
A faithful listener writes in asking where Scripture encourages that first small turn toward God—the 0.1-degree shift for someone who feels far away or powerless. The group reflects on biblical moments where God meets people not after the full turnaround, but right at the first honest step toward Him.

• Weakness as the doorway to power
Paul reframes weakness as the very place where God’s power shows up. The episode closes with a practical invitation: one small stretch of faith this week—a prayer you’ve been avoiding, a confession, a text asking for help, or simply showing up to a group.

And finally, the conversation lands on this image:
Jesus with outstretched hands on the cross—not asking us to try harder, but inviting us to trust deeper.

Join Us This Sunday

We’re continuing STEPS as we move into Step Two

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