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Made for Mondays | STEPS

Step Eight: The Damage: Name Those We've Harmed

This week on Made for Mondays, Heather is joined by Tyler, Jamey, and RaChelle for a conversation around one of the most stretching steps yet: Step 8 — making a list of people we’ve harmed and becoming willing to make amends.

After some light weekend catch-up (including dinner at Lofay’s 👏), the group reflects on the Bible Reading Challenge, walking through Numbers and Mark, and noticing themes of new life in Jesus—especially how Paul and other Jews wrestled with what transformation actually meant.

Then they step into Sunday’s message.

And let’s be honest—Step 8 hits differently.

Because it’s one thing to talk about personal growth.
It’s another thing to start naming the people impacted by our brokenness.

Here’s where the conversation goes:

• The first reaction
When you hear, “Make a list of people you’ve harmed,” what rises up first? Resistance? Fear? Defensiveness? Maybe even relief? The group unpacks why that reaction is so common. Naming harm confronts the image we prefer to manage—the version of ourselves we’re most comfortable believing.

• Why we remember our hurt more clearly than our harm
Drawing from Tyler’s “two lists” tension, the conversation explores why it’s easier to recall who hurt us than where we’ve hurt others—even unintentionally. It reveals something deeply human: we instinctively experience life from the center of our own story. Step 8 gently invites us to shift perspective.

• Zacchaeus and dignified shame (Luke 19)
Luke includes the detail that Zacchaeus climbs a tree—an undignified act for a grown man in that culture. Why does that matter? The group reflects on how shame isolates, but Jesus moves toward him anyway. Even more powerful: Jesus calls Zacchaeus by name before repentance or repair happens.

Being seen with grace makes honesty possible.
Grace doesn’t excuse harm—it creates the safety to face it.

• Grace and responsibility belong together
Heather repeats a key line: “Grace doesn’t make responsibility unnecessary—it makes it possible.”
The group discusses why grace is often misunderstood as the removal of accountability instead of the empowerment to embrace it. What would change if a church truly believed conviction and compassion could coexist?

They also name the important distinction between conviction (which invites growth) and condemnation (which attacks identity).

• Cleaning up our side of the street
Step 8 asks us to own our part—even when we’ve also been hurt. That’s a hard tension. The conversation makes space for the reality that acknowledging harm we’ve caused doesn’t minimize wounds we’ve experienced. Both can be true. The key is resisting comparison and scorekeeping, which only delay freedom.

• Beginning, not finishing (Year of Practice)
In alignment with The Year of Practice, the focus shifts from completing Step 8 to simply beginning it well.

A healthy first attempt might look like:

• Choosing posture before productivity
• Pacing the process instead of rushing it
• Exercising safety and wisdom
• Distinguishing willingness from full readiness

Because Step 8 isn’t about

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