Love Thy Neighbor Show copertina

Love Thy Neighbor Show

Love Thy Neighbor Show

Di: Tom Vann Dan Dennis and Colette Fehr
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Love Thy Neighbor is a straight-talk relationship show from Tom Vann, Dan Dennis, and licensed therapist Colette J. Fehr - born the day Colette knocked on their door and they realized they were literal next-door neighbors. Together, they bring 50 years of broadcasting (Dan 30, Tom 20) and 15 years of clinical counseling (Colette), plus real-life reps: Tom's 20-year marriage, Dan's 15-year marriage, and Colette's second, thriving chapter. Expect humor, empathy, and practical advice from both sides of the wall. New episodes every Thursday, wherever you get your podcasts.2025 Igiene e vita sana Psicologia Psicologia e salute mentale Successo personale Sviluppo personale
Episodi
  • LTN 50 - Since You've Birdgone

    LTN 50 - Since You've Birdgone
    Oct 15 2026
    Love Thy Neighbor: Episode Notes Hosts: Tom Vann, Colette Fehr, Dan Dennis | Guest: None Sponsors / Ad Reads Central Homes Roofing: Commercial spot (added in post). Segment Rundown Cold open: Combos for dinner. Dan admits that when his daughter's mother is away, dinner is a bag of Combos with a side of salt and vinegar Bugles. The hosts joke that oversharing on the show works as their therapy. Someone adds that pro athletes probably eat Combos for dinner too.Birdgate setup. Dan brings up the Kelly Clarkson "Birdgate" story after seeing Colette's Instagram post about it. The hosts note it's been all over the major outlets, including a hashtag built from her song titles, and agree that making the news doesn't make something important anymore. Colette plugs her Instagram handle.The Art of Play. Colette lays out the facts. Clarkson visited Art of Play, a high-end magic, toy and curiosity shop in Brooklyn co-owned by wealthy partners, one of them an award-winning children's author. The hosts take a side trip into overpriced whimsical wooden toy stores (Winter Park Village, St. George Street in St. Augustine) and tease Clarkson for saying the store looked "rad."The Pretty Woman post. Clarkson posted that staff side-eyed her when she asked about a bird on the wall and treated her like she couldn't afford it, comparing it to the Rodeo Drive scene in Pretty Woman. Her fans piled on, and the store's reply came across as snarky rather than apologetic. The bird is a $15,000 animatronic piece by a Seattle artist. It's one of only two in existence and is fixed to the wall, and the price really refers to commissioning one from the artist.Video and tone-deafness. The surveillance footage shows a short exchange, and the hosts see no body language that looks rude, only Clarkson's frustrated exit. One host calls it tone-deaf to complain publicly about not getting to buy a $15,000 bird while people are struggling. The hosts compare her outfit to the breakdancer Raygun and point out that everyone in the store was dressed casually.Perception is subjective. Colette says everyone filters interactions through their own mood and hurts. She thinks a misunderstanding is more likely, since the bird wasn't really for sale and staff may have pointed her to a cheaper option. She mentions Clarkson's recent leave from her show and her divorce as context for a possible hard day. A host remembers being locked out of a gold shop in Little Vietnam.Punching down. Dan relates to firing off a reaction, and credits Tom with teaching him to "give it a beat." The hosts discuss consequences: employees fear going to work, the store has received threats, and the owner said Clarkson put them in danger. They talk about the responsibility that comes with a huge platform and the ripple effects on staff, contractors and families. Colette wishes Clarkson had asked her fans to back off instead of going silent.Colette's review scars. Colette describes a bad vendor experience around her book launch. When a colleague asked about that company, she gave a measured answer, and he quit two weeks after joining for the same reasons she had. She also tells how a couple who never became clients left her practice one-star Google reviews after she held a boundary, and her rating still hasn't recovered.Fan backlash. Colette's long Birdgate video drew a lot of views and some hate from Clarkson's fans, who number close to 9 million followers.Shane Gillis and SNL. Colette taking her shoes off sets off a foot joke aimed at Tom. The hosts mention BDM show voicemails asking why they didn't comment on Gillis using the word "whore" on SNL. Colette doesn't love the word, but she argues comedians need room to try things and fail, and the audience's groan was the pushback. Another host says Gillis likely planned the joke and ties it to a gym sketch from his own show. They compare it to Jimmy Kimmel and call the all-or-nothing online outrage exhausting.Outrage as distraction. The hosts see celebrity gossip and outrage as a distraction from real life, like any other vice. They note that online communication loses facial expression and nuance and turns into blame, character attacks and tribalism.The relationship lesson. Colette's main point: when our feelings get hurt, we either swallow it and build resentment or lash out with blame. The better path is to pause, ask why it hit so hard, and come forward vulnerably so repair is possible. Tom questions Clarkson's intent: was she trying to buy the bird, or to hurt the store?Taking feedback. Tom explains that Dan is emotional and feels criticism as an attack. Colette plugs her book The Cost of Quiet, says she leans toward people-pleasing, and tells about setting a polite boundary with someone who then attacked her character and used her own book against her. She uses a restaurant-manager example to show that you can't control how people react, even to kind feedback.Don't turn off the faucet. Dan says he and Andrea have worked on this: ...
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    50 min
  • LTN 48 - Kentucky Steve

    LTN 48 - Kentucky Steve
    Oct 9 2026
    Love Thy Neighbor: Episode Notes Episode: "Kentucky Steve" Hosts: Tom Vann, Colette Fehr, Dan Dennis | Guest: None Sponsors / Ad Reads No sponsor segments or ad reads in this episode. Segment Rundown Cold open: credentials check. The hosts list what qualifies them. One was forklift certified in the early 2000s, one is a Universal Life Church reverend, and Colette has been a licensed relationship therapist for almost 15 years. They joke about their UCF degrees: an interdisciplinary studies degree and a business degree from before the internet. Colette shares that she started as an English and communication double major at Flagler and finished communication at UCF. Getting a reluctant partner to therapy. Listeners have written in about partners who resist couples therapy. The hosts note the stereotype that men are usually the reluctant ones. Tom says he felt that way years ago with Crystal. They have been together 20+ years since they were teenagers, and he worried that going to therapy meant they were headed for divorce. Not all therapy is equal. Colette says some people resist because they had a bad experience before. Couples therapy done by someone without specific training can do harm. She stresses researching therapists and finding one trained to work with two people and two truths at once. How to broach it. Her advice is to be open, honest and vulnerable. Frame therapy around how important the relationship is, ask how your partner feels, offer to do the research, and ask for just one session. She says more men are reaching out to her than when she started, and many tell her it's nothing like they expected. Don't ring the alarm bell. A host admits he tends to treat small problems as emergencies and compares it to a computer crapping out before an edit. The group agrees that urgency triggers divorce fear. The advice is to raise therapy during a calm moment, not mid-fight or as a threat. Fear of being the bad guy. Colette promotes emotionally focused couples therapy (EFT), which is based on attachment science, as the evidence-based gold standard, and says it doesn't take sides. Tom says he expected to face his wife plus "her lawyer." Instead he found a neutral mediator. The hosts joke about him then trying to keep the therapist on his side. Life in waves. Tom says relationships have highs and lows, and the goal is to spend more time in the middle. Therapy can even out the extreme bad stretches. Colette talks about "raw spots" from past wounds and plugs her book The Cost of Quiet. She explains that people tend to pick partners very different from themselves. As a big extrovert, she has almost always ended up with quieter partners. Finding the right fit. Look for specific couples training, ask which model a therapist uses, and make sure both partners click with them. Colette offers listeners referrals if she isn't the right fit. A host says most therapists he contacted readily referred him elsewhere. Colette notes clients often say she was the only one who responded, and says providing referrals is an ethical standard. Role play: "the game's on." A host plays a dismissive husband who refuses therapy, then floats Zoom therapy as a compromise. Colette says she doesn't do consultation calls or meet-and-greets and prefers clients come to her office. She does use Zoom for clients in other parts of the state and through her coaching company. The 11th hour. When a relationship is really struggling, Colette says to get honest without threatening. She cites a stat that over 70% of divorces are initiated by women, rising to about 90% among college-educated women, which gets a joke about college. She describes men who are only ready to work on things after their wife has seen a lawyer. Her point: if a partner asks for therapy, they're still fighting for the relationship. Hard things are valuable. A host is complimented for seeing value in difficult things like workouts and long business hours. The group suggests applying the same reframe to relationships. Enter Kentucky Steve. Colette mentions her husband, who is in his 60s and grew up on a farm in Kentucky, and says he probably wouldn't have done therapy if he hadn't married a therapist. The hosts riff on the character "Kentucky Steve": tractors, quiet coffee on the porch, snapping beans. They declare it the episode name. Busyness as identity. A host brings up a clip from Insights from the Couch about work-life balance and retirement. He relates to staying busy as his whole "dad personality" and admits he doesn't know what "taking care of yourself" means. Colette ties this to "gray divorce." Divorce is down among younger people but rising for those over 50, often after years on autopilot focused on kids and work. Relationships as plants. Colette compares a relationship to a potted plant, or even an orchid, that can't be neglected for decades. There are side jokes about one host loving plants and hating succulents, and Colette admits she has a black ...
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    48 min
  • LTN 48 - The Dinner Divorce

    LTN 48 - The Dinner Divorce
    Oct 1 2026
    Love Thy Neighbor: Episode Notes Episode: "The Dinner Divorce" (LTN48) Hosts: Tom Vann, Colette Fehr, Dan Dennis | Guest: None Sponsors / Ad Reads No sponsor segments or ad reads in this episode. Segment Rundown Cold open: intro debate. The hosts argue over whether they need to introduce themselves at the top of every show. Tom calls it pointless since listeners already know who they are. They float making a new intro with names in it for year two, to mark the show's anniversary.What's a food divorce? Colette talks about her recent news appearance on "food divorce," which is when couples eat separately and each person handles their own meals. She puts it alongside other trends like sleep divorce. Dan asks why those couples even live together.The Dennis family dinner. Dan says he and Andrea sit down to dinner together every night, while Maisie often eats at dance. He calls the ritual almost as important as sex because it's when Andrea opens up, including her project manager work gossip. He also covers meal kits like Home Chef and Blue Apron and his weekly meal prep for Maisie.Colette on connection rituals. Colette explains that shared meals are one of the few unstructured connection rituals couples have left. People who grew up eating as a family tend to keep doing it. She shares how she ate alone in her room as a teenager after her parents divorced, making prank conference calls.Tom at the head of the table. Tom's family eats together too, and he likes sitting at the head of the table. He jokes that nobody should introduce themselves there either. He complains that his kids share nothing, eat slowly, and ignore his celebrity stories (he recently talked to the actor who played Puddy on Seinfeld). Colette suggests word games to liven things up, and Tom says his car-ride games haven't gone well.Dan's date nights. Dan says he's recently enjoyed date nights at a local tavern known for crispy pizza, where he mostly just listens to Andrea talk.Quiet Kobe. Tom's wife took their youngest son Max to Hamilton at Dr. Phillips, so Tom took his oldest son Tommy to Kobe Japanese Steakhouse. The two barely talked all night, then Tommy turned on the TV as soon as they got home. Lots of jokes about the oil, the "double white" rice, and the aftermath. Tom also recalls quiet car rides with the men in his family, including a story that started with "one time I killed a man."Companionable silence. Colette reframes the Kobe night: small talk isn't necessarily more connecting than silence, and parents shouldn't feel guilty about quiet moments. Dan and Andrea both thought the outing was great. Dan mentions upcoming one-on-one time with Maisie while Andrea travels for work.In defense of food divorce. Colette says her household basically has a food divorce because of schedules. She wants quiet after a day of doing therapy, and she and her husband still share meals a few times a week. She also points to GLP-1 use and the mental load of meal planning, often carried by women. Her takeaway: do what works, but make time to be present."What's for dinner?" prank. A host describes his favorite prank: asking his wife what's for dinner at her most stressed moment. It works every time.Email: friend in a scam. "Baltimore Beef Stew" writes about a friend putting $50,000 into an MLM-style unclaimed property scheme despite being warned. Colette says he's already said his piece. Adults have to make their own choices, and he can set limits on what he'll do if it goes badly.Florida Treasure Hunt. The hosts explain that Florida's unclaimed property site, fltreasurehunt.gov, is a real government website even though the name sounds like a scam. They guess the scheme is built around middlemen charging people for money they could claim themselves.When it's your money too. Colette says it's different when a bad decision will land on you financially, like an elderly parent you'd have to support. She shares that she once voiced doubts when her late mother gave money to a questionable religious organization, then let it go.Ask before advising. Tom admits he's a blunt truth teller with the people he loves. His example is laughing off the Grizz's AI-assisted spy novel, and his wife says he comes off like a jerk. Colette's fix is to ask whether someone wants your opinion first. She notes that offhand comments can stick with people for years, and that it's okay to say you're not ready to hear someone's take.Tom's coward approach. Tom says he nods, checks his watch, and then says "that's not going to work" after the person leaves. Also a riff on a past helicopter pilot dream.You don't have a crystal ball. A host says he often stays quiet and then watches things play out just as he predicted. Colette counters that she has seen couples she privately doubted turn things around. She says it's unethical for therapists to tell clients whether to end a relationship, and references Dolly Parton hearing her plans wouldn't work. Joke about the Nigerian prince actually ...
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    49 min
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