The skill of validation can be both incredibly useful AND really challenging to use interpersonally and with ourselves. My sister Ruth joins me for a conversation about what challenges she's encountered in practicing validation. We discuss some of the beliefs we grew up with around validation and problem-solve ways to remove those roadblocks.

DBT references:

DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets – online pdf version;

DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets – buy the manual from a Black-owned book store!

DBT handouts used in this episode:

General Handout 4 – Skills Training Assumptions;

Interpersonal Effectiveness Handout 17 – Validation;

Interpersonal Effectiveness Handout 18 – A “How To” Guide to Validation;

Emotion Regulation Handout 5 – Model for Describing Emotions (alternate version: E Wheel);

Emotion Regulation Handout 6 – Ways to Describe Emotions;

Distress Tolerance Handout 8 – Self-Soothing

Other resources used in this episode:

Levels of Validation

Beliefs that Get in the Way of Self-Soothing

How to Tell if You're Invalidating Yourself

Examples of Validation Phrases

Biosocial theory graphic by Jesse Finkelstein

Instagram @theaustralianfeminists: psychological invalidation

Instagram @hellothrivers: healthy vs toxic empathy

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More resources are available at https://therapize.joygerhard.com/

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WARNING: If you or someone you care about is experiencing a mental health crisis and/or suicidal ideation, the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline is available via call, text, chat, and with resources for Deaf/HoH folks. Please use discretion in listening to this episode.

I currently do want to live AND there are times when I don't. I know that in those times, most of the things that people say in an attempt to be helpful actually ends up making things worse. So I thought it might be useful to have the version of myself who wants to live write a letter to the version of myself who doesn't, and include all the things that I think would actually be validating, useful, and hope-giving when I'm at my lowest. This episode includes the entirety of that letter.

Transcript of the letter

Instagram post (caption): @CharlieMerril

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More resources are available at https://therapize.joygerhard.com/

Please rate, review, and subscribe to this podcast wherever you listen.

Follow me on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and TikTok

Like what you hear? Support me and this podcast on Patreon.

Interested in DBT and want to hear about it from the patient's side instead of the therapist's side? You're in luck! I've done a variety of DBT skills groups and individual therapy, and have finally created an episode all about: what DBT is, who created it, what various DBT programs are like, and an overview of what skills are covered in the skills training manual. I also go over what I love about DBT and where it's gaps are.

DBT references:

DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets – online pdf version;

DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets – buy the manual from a Black-owned book store!

Other resources used in this episode:

NY Times article - Expert on Mental Illness Reveals Her Own Fight by Benedict Carey;

Wikipedia article - Marsha Linehan;

Wikipedia article - Dialectic Behavioral Therapy (DBT);

Wikipedia article - Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT);

Book - Building a Life Worth Living: A Memoir by Marsha Linehan

———

More resources are available at https://therapize.joygerhard.com/

Please rate, review, and subscribe to this podcast wherever you listen.

Follow me on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and TikTok

Like what you hear? Support me and this podcast on Patreon.