WARNING: If you or someone you care about is experiencing a mental health crisis and/or suicidal ideation, the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline is available via call, text, chat, and with resources for Deaf/HoH folks. Please use discretion in listening to this episode.

I currently do want to live AND there are times when I don't. I know that in those times, most of the things that people say in an attempt to be helpful actually ends up making things worse. So I thought it might be useful to have the version of myself who wants to live write a letter to the version of myself who doesn't, and include all the things that I think would actually be validating, useful, and hope-giving when I'm at my lowest. This episode includes the entirety of that letter.

Transcript of the letter

Instagram post (caption): @CharlieMerril

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More resources are available at https://therapize.joygerhard.com/

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Interested in DBT and want to hear about it from the patient's side instead of the therapist's side? You're in luck! I've done a variety of DBT skills groups and individual therapy, and have finally created an episode all about: what DBT is, who created it, what various DBT programs are like, and an overview of what skills are covered in the skills training manual. I also go over what I love about DBT and where it's gaps are.

DBT references:

DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets – online pdf version;

DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets – buy the manual from a Black-owned book store!

Other resources used in this episode:

NY Times article - Expert on Mental Illness Reveals Her Own Fight by Benedict Carey;

Wikipedia article - Marsha Linehan;

Wikipedia article - Dialectic Behavioral Therapy (DBT);

Wikipedia article - Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT);

Book - Building a Life Worth Living: A Memoir by Marsha Linehan

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More resources are available at https://therapize.joygerhard.com/

Please rate, review, and subscribe to this podcast wherever you listen.

Follow me on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and TikTok

Like what you hear? Support me and this podcast on Patreon.

My sister Ruth joins me for the second part of our conversation around accepting that she hurts others and others hurt her. We identified where she’s out of acceptance in episode 49, so in this episode we’re practicing acceptance of those things, step by step. It’s a lengthy process but we get faster as we go and she moves closer to accepting by the end of the episode!

DBT references:

DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets – online pdf version;

DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets – buy the manual from a Black-owned book store!

DBT handouts used in this episode:

Mindfulness Handout 5 – Taking Hold of Your Mind: “How” Skills

• Non-judgmentally;

Emotion Regulation Handout 19 – Build Mastery and Cope Ahead

• Cope Ahead of Time with Difficult Situations;

Distress Tolerance Handout 9 – Improving the Moment;

Distress Tolerance Handout 11 – Radical Acceptance;

Distress Tolerance Handout 11A – Radical Acceptance: Factors That Interfere;

Distress Tolerance Handout 11B – Practicing Radical Acceptance Step by Step

Distress Tolerance Handout 14 – Half-Smiling and Willing Hands

Distress Tolerance Worksheet 9 – Radical Acceptance

Other resources used in this episode:

Ep 29 – annoyance when skills work

The Book of Forgiving: The Fourfold Path for Healing Ourselves and Our World by Desmond Tutu and Mpho Tutu;

The Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control: A Path to Peace and Power by Katherine Morgan Schafler;

Instagram account: Christabel Mintah-Galloway on relational repair:

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More resources are available at https://therapize.joygerhard.com/

Please rate, review, and subscribe to this podcast wherever you listen.

Follow me on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and TikTok

Like what you hear? Support me and this podcast on Patreon.

My sister Ruth joins me to drill down to what she's not accepting around how she impacts others. Because she's not accepting that she hurts others, she's unable to repair relationship effectively. It takes quite a bit of testing various ideas to land on what lies at the root of her fear that she might hurt other people. But we find it!

DBT references:

DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets – online pdf version;

DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets – buy the manual from a Black-owned book store!

DBT handouts used in this episode:

Mindfulness Handout 3 – Wise Mind: States of Mind;

Interpersonal Effectiveness Handout 17 - Validation;

Interpersonal Effectiveness Handout 18 - A “How To” Guide to Validation;

Emotion Regulation Handout 6 - Ways to Describe Emotions;

• Shame;
• Guilt;

Distress Tolerance Handout 11 – Radical Acceptance;

Distress Tolerance Handout 11A – Radical Acceptance: Factors that Interfere

Other resources used in this episode:

Cognitive distortions

The Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control: A Path to Peace and Power by Katherine Morgan Schafler;

Characteristics of white supremacy by Tema Okun

Radical acceptance comic

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More resources are available at https://therapize.joygerhard.com/

Please rate, review, and subscribe to this podcast wherever you listen.

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Like what you hear? Support me and this podcast on Patreon.

The second half of my conversation with my sister Anne about the end of a decades-long friendship. This half focuses on validation - I validate her and she validates herself. We also uncover some delightful analogies to explain her experience.

DBT references:

DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets – online pdf version;

DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets – buy the manual from a Black-owned book store!

DBT handouts used in this episode:

Mindfulness Handout 4 – Taking Hold of Your Mind: “What” Skills

• Observe;
• Describe;
• Participate;

Interpersonal Effectiveness Handout 6 – Guidelines for Relationship Effectiveness: Keeping Respect for Yourself (FAST);

Interpersonal Effectiveness Handout 17 – Validation;

Interpersonal Effectiveness Handout 18 – A “How To” Guide to Validation;

Emotion Regulation Handout 8 – Check the Facts;

Distress Tolerance Handout 11 – Radical Acceptance;

Distress Tolerance Handout 11B – Practicing Radical Acceptance Step by Step

Other resources used in this episode:

Competency tiers

Levels of Validation

Valid/Justified/Effective graphics

• Summary
• Table
• Flow chart
• Venn diagram
• Definitions (getting into the weeds)

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More resources are available at https://therapize.joygerhard.com/

Please rate, review, and subscribe to this podcast wherever you listen.

Follow me on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and TikTok

Like what you hear? Support me and this podcast on Patreon.

My sister joins me for a conversation about friendship loss that’s just dripping with judgements. I validate her experience then practice turning her judgements into non-judgmental language with a heavy dose of laughter.

DBT references:

DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets – online pdf version;

DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets – buy the manual from a Black-owned book store!

DBT handouts used in this episode:

Mindfulness Handout 4 – Taking Hold of Your Mind: “What Skills”

Mindfulness Handout 5 – Taking Hold of Your Mind: “How Skills”

• Nonjudgmentally

Interpersonal Effectiveness Handout 17 - Validation

Other resources used in this episode:

The Spoon Theory – by Christine Miserandino

Spoon Theory – Wikipedia

Competency tiers graphic

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More resources are available at https://therapize.joygerhard.com/

Please rate, review, and subscribe to this podcast wherever you listen.

Follow me on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and TikTok

Like what you hear? Support me and this podcast on Patreon.

I’m getting ready to enter a PHP (Partial Hospitalization Program) after my time in a psych hospital, and I have some anxiety. And shame. And judgements. So, use a lite version of Cope Ahead for how to manage my anxiety, and then do some self-validation by way of comparing where I am now to where I was 4 years ago. A little bit of Check the Facts squeezes it’s way in there too.

DBT references:

DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets – online pdf version;

DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets – buy the manual from a Black-owned book store!

DBT handouts used in this episode:

Mindfulness Handout 5 – Taking Hold of Your Mind: “How” Skills

- Nonjudgementally;

Interpersonal Effectiveness Handout 17 – Validation;

Interpersonal Effectiveness Handout 18 – A “How To” Guide to Validation;

Emotion Regulation Handout 6 – Ways to Describe Emotions;

Emotion Regulation Handout 8 – Check the Facts;

Emotion Regulation Handout 19 – Build Mastery and Cope Ahead

- Cope Ahead;

Emotion Regulation Handout 22 – Mindfulness of Current Emotions: Letting Go of Emotional Suffering;

Distress Tolerance Handout 7 – Distracting (Wise Mind ACCEPTS);

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More resources are available at https://therapize.joygerhard.com/

Please rate, review, and subscribe to this podcast wherever you listen.

Follow me on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and TikTok

Like what you hear? Support me and this podcast on Patreon.

Fresh off a 12-day psychiatric hospitalization, I’ve got stories to tell and stereotypes to dispel. I discuss how I came to voluntarily admit myself, getting covid and being quarantined for 8 days, medical gaslighting, and self-harming to avoid discharge. I also share what hope I’ve been able to find since getting out and where my focus is as I’m adjusting to being home again.

DBT references:

DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets – online pdf version;

DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets – buy the manual from a Black-owned book store!

Other resources used in this episode:

Instagram: @pat.radical.therapist

Instagram: @liberatorywellnessnetwork

Instagram: @asma.therapist

Instagram: @ismatu.gwendolyn

Instagram: @decolonizingtherapy

TikTok: @gigistherapyworld

The Future is Disabled: Prophecies, Love Notes, and Mourning Songs by Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha

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More resources are available at https://therapize.joygerhard.com/

Please rate, review, and subscribe to this podcast wherever you listen.

Follow me on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and TikTok

Like what you hear? Support me and this podcast on Patreon.