Episodi

  • 3 Senior Leaders Admit It: Sometimes You Just Don't Know | S01E04

    3 Senior Leaders Admit It: Sometimes You Just Don't Know | S01E04
    Jun 22 2026
    Three senior leaders get honest about what happens when the pressure is real, the answers aren't there, and everyone in the room is looking to you anyway. The MD behind Starbucks South Africa, the CIO of Tiger Brands, and the head of HR at Pernod Ricard Africa share what deciding without certainty has actually looked like, and what it took to step into it.The question most senior leaders carry privately and rarely say out loud: what do I do when I'm supposed to know and I don't? This episode is built around exactly that. Leah McCrae asked a boardroom of executives "is it okay if I don't know?" and it turned out to be one of the most trust-building moments of her career. Eugene van der Merwe had no management manual for leading through a pandemic where colleagues ended up in ICU on ventilators. Devandre Lawrence went for counselling to understand the childhood trauma underneath the persona he had built, and found it was the thing that made him the leader he is today. The conversation that doesn't usually happen at this level.Guests:Leah McCrae is the Managing Director of Rand Capital Coffee and the force behind Starbucks South Africa. She built the brand through bankruptcy, COVID, load shedding, and supply chain chaos, and became a leader who describes herself as intentionally vulnerable, and means it.Eugene van der Merwe is the Chief Information Officer at Tiger Brands. At the time of recording, he was approaching the end of more than a decade as CIO of AVI Limited, where he led an essential services company through a pandemic and a major cyber event, both times with people's lives and livelihoods genuinely in the balance.Devandre Lawrence is Head of HR at Pernod Ricard Africa. He came into a 24/7 FMCG environment as a gay man from a disadvantaged community, built a persona to survive it, and found his way through in a process that made him one of the most human voices in this conversation.They explain:◼ Why "is it okay if I don't know?" was the most trust-building thing Leah ever said in a boardroom◼ What leading through a pandemic actually looks like when the decisions your team executes carry a real risk of death◼ How childhood trauma shapes the leader you become, and why counselling isn't a detour from the work, it is the work◼ The difference between transparency and honesty in a crisis, and why not everyone on your team can hold all of the information◼ Why psychological safety looks different for each person on your team, and why getting that right opens the real conversationTimestamps: (00:00) - Episode trailer (01:12) - Welcome to Leading Awake (02:50) - The PEAK Practice Programme (intro) (03:30) - The belief shift: leadership doesn't have one look or sound (05:26) - Why humility is the thing nobody put in the leadership manual (07:02) - "Is it okay if I don't know?" (Leah's boardroom moment) (09:39) - Bringing a company out of bankruptcy through COVID (12:00) - The ivory tower that doesn't exist (12:23) - When the decisions could cost someone their life (Eugene, COVID) (14:46) - What it takes to decompress when colleagues don't make it (17:11) - Leadership holds no title, it holds identity (19:34) - Coming into an industry that expected a different leader (22:00) - Why Devandre went for counselling (and what it changed) (25:11) - Leah on depression, loneliness, and the mask every leader wears (27:38) - "We're all just winging it" (and why that's actually okay) (29:15) - The PEAK Practice Programme (mid-episode) (31:39) - Pre-decision values: the answer before the crisis hits (32:19) - The cyber event and the humans behind the 36-hour shift (35:05) - The only way out of a wrong decision is honesty (40:36) - Psychological safety: the environment that opens the conversation (43:00) - Rapid fire: what's most improved your leadership effectiveness (45:44) - Closing thoughts + PEAK PracticeFollow our guests:◼ Leah McCrae◼ Eugene van der Merwe◼ Devandre LawrenceAbout Leading Awake:Leading Awake is a podcast for senior leaders who want to see clearly under pressure, connect more deeply, and respond more wisely in the high-stakes moments that count. Each episode is an honest, unscripted conversation with senior leaders who are willing to drop the mask and talk about what it actually takes to lead at the highest levels.Host Gilan Gork started as a professional mentalist working with the human mind on stages across more than 40 countries, including Fortune 500 companies, governments, and NATO. That work pulled him deeper into the inner game of leadership, and into the body of work that became PeakAwake.More at https://peakawake.comThe 14-Day PEAK Practice Programme:Everything in this episode points to the same thing: when the pressure is on, your perception narrows, exactly when you need it to be widest. The PEAK Practice Programme is a 14-day guided audio practice built to train the inner capacity to see clearly and respond wisely in real conditions. 10 to 15 minutes a day. Leaders ...
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    49 min
  • C-Suite Confessions: How High Performers Lead Without Breaking | S01E03

    C-Suite Confessions: How High Performers Lead Without Breaking | S01E03
    Jun 2 2026
    Three senior leaders get honest about what it costs to keep leading when you're stretched thin. The CEO of Lew Geffen Sotheby's International Realty, the Chief of Payments and Partnerships at JUMO, and the former CMO who led Kulula, British Airways, and Hollard share the moments work was quietly costing them everything else, and how they got themselves back.The numbers don't stop. The deadlines don't stop. And somewhere in the middle of it all, the people who matter most start getting scraps. This is a conversation that doesn't usually happen in public. Three senior leaders open up about navigating mental health at the top, running toward every crisis until something breaks, and the moment a child said "mommy, we need you back".Guests:Yael Geffen is the CEO of Lew Geffen Sotheby's International Realty, one of South Africa's most recognised property brands. She has spoken openly about navigating bipolar disorder while leading at the highest level, and what that openness gave her back.Brad Roper is the Chief of Payments and Partnerships at JUMO, leading live partnerships across the African continent. He defines his job by running toward whatever is on fire, until the moment his family told him he had stopped being playable.Heidi Brauer is the former Chief Marketing Officer at Hollard, after leading brands like Kulula and British Airways at the top of South African corporate marketing for over a decade. Today she runs her own consultancy and brings a lens on leadership from outside the corporate machine.They explain:◼ Why Brad realised he was giving the people he loves the scraps (and what changed when his mom told him "you're not playable")◼ What Yael learned by disclosing her bipolar disorder at the top of one of South Africa's biggest property brands◼ The moment Heidi's son said "mommy, we need you back", and what she did with eight weeks notice and nowhere to go◼ How Yael reframes her mental health as a "brilliant burden", and what that does for how she leads◼ Why Heidi's "agenda-less meetings" surface more useful insight than the meetings with agendasTimestamps:(00:00) - Episode trailer (01:03) - Welcome to Leading Awake (03:28) - The belief shift: what these leaders changed their mind about (07:34) - The mental health conversation: Yael's relapse, firing, and the culture she vowed to build (11:22) - Brad on the turnstile, imposter syndrome, and head/heart/health (14:08) - Yael on imposter syndrome and a "crisis of confidence" (15:17) - Heidi and Pierre: "promise me you'll never change" (19:00) - "Mommy, we need you back": Heidi's bathroom mirror moment (20:48) - The PEAK Practice Programme (mid-episode) (22:52) - "Red is good" and the family reckoning: Brad on running toward crisis (24:41) - Heidi: keeping the main thing the main thing (26:11) - Brad's rituals for staying present (27:41) - "The person getting scraps was me": Yael on self-discipline (30:46) - Heidi on the restructure she didn't survive (31:30) - Agenda-less meetings: the gem in the last 10 minutes (33:16) - Three closing reflections from the table (34:52) - Closing thoughts + PEAK PracticeAbout Leading Awake:Leading Awake is a podcast for senior leaders who want to see clearly under pressure, connect more deeply, and respond more wisely in the high-stakes moments that count. Each episode is an honest, unscripted conversation with senior leaders who are willing to drop the mask and talk about what it actually takes to lead at the highest levels.Host Gilan Gork started as a professional mentalist working with the human mind on stages across more than 40 countries, including Fortune 500 companies, governments, and NATO. That work pulled him deeper into the inner game of leadership, and into the body of work that became PeakAwake.More at https://peakawake.comThe 14-Day PEAK Practice Programme:Everything in this episode points to the same thing: when the pressure is on, your perception narrows, exactly when you need it to be widest. The PEAK Practice Programme is a 14-day guided audio practice built to train the inner capacity to see clearly and respond wisely in real conditions. 10 to 15 minutes a day. Leaders who've completed it call it one of the most practically useful things they've done for their leadership.Start here: https://peakawake.comIf this conversation lands with you:Follow Leading Awake on your podcast app so you don't miss the next conversation. And if you have a moment, please leave a rating or a review. It sounds like a small thing, but it's the most useful way to help platforms recommend the show to other senior leaders who'd benefit from these conversations.If you know a leader who'd recognise themselves in this episode (the one running toward every crisis, the one whose family is quietly waiting for them to come back) share it with them. That's how community builds.
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    37 min
  • 3 Execs Drop the Mask: Staying Human Under Pressure | S01E02

    3 Execs Drop the Mask: Staying Human Under Pressure | S01E02
    Jun 2 2026
    Three senior executives drop the mask and get honest about what it actually takes to stay human at the edge of pressure. The former CEO of Kantar South Africa, the Vice President of IT at DHL Sub-Saharan Africa, and one of South Africa's youngest CIOs share the inner game of leading at the top when the numbers, the deadlines, and the expectations never let up.The numbers don't stop. The deadlines don't stop. And somewhere in the middle of all of it, there's a question most leaders feel but rarely say out loud: can I stay human and still deliver? This is the conversation that doesn't usually happen in public. Three senior leaders running banking, logistics, and global market research operations get into the signals that tell you you've drifted, the difference between compassion and empathy, and what it actually takes to keep showing up as a human being when the board is waiting for results.Guests:Ivan Moroke is the former CEO of Kantar South Africa, where he spent his career turning human insight into meaningful growth. He knows better than most that the numbers only ever tell you half the story.Mahendra Beharie is the Vice President of IT at DHL Sub-Saharan Africa, leading digital transformation across one of the most complex logistical landscapes on earth.Nomonde White-Ndlovu is one of South Africa's youngest-ever CIOs and an award-winning driving force in banking. She leads with a clear philosophy: hard on delivery, deeply soft on people.They explain:◼ Why silence from your team is a red flag, not a relief◼ How a leader knows they've drifted (and what their body tells them first)◼ The difference between compassion and empathy, and why leaders need the first more than the second◼ Why the calmest person in the room is often the one carrying the most◼ What it actually means to lead from the bottom, not the topTimestamps:(00:00) - Episode trailer (01:04) - Welcome to Leading Awake (02:50) - The PEAK Practice Programme (03:29) - What's lighting you up outside of work (05:43) - The belief shift: leadership isn't a zero-sum game (07:24) - The oxymoron of servant leadership (08:48) - Hiring for your blind spots (10:23) - Daily rituals for staying grounded under pressure (14:18) - The signals that tell you you've drifted as a leader (15:21) - Are your people's eyes still shining? (18:14) - When silence is louder than any metric (19:48) - How the office strips humanity from leaders (20:33) - Compassion vs empathy: a leader's real distinction (24:51) - The PEAK Practice Programme (mid-episode) (26:28) - Backing the hire everyone said no to (30:45) - The accent bias most leaders don't admit (33:05) - Navigating the bias you don't see (and why kindness saves lives) (37:11) - Three closing reflections from the table (39:54) - Closing thoughts + PEAK PracticeAbout Leading Awake:Leading Awake is a podcast for senior leaders who want to see clearly under pressure, connect more deeply, and respond more wisely in the high-stakes moments that count. Each episode is an honest, unscripted conversation with senior leaders who are willing to drop the mask and talk about what it actually takes to lead at the highest levels.Host Gilan Gork started as a professional mentalist working with the human mind on stages across more than 40 countries, including Fortune 500 companies, governments, and NATO. That work pulled him deeper into the inner game of leadership, and into the body of work that became PeakAwake.More at https://peakawake.comThe 14-Day PEAK Practice Programme:Everything in this episode points to the same thing: when the pressure is on, your perception narrows, exactly when you need it to be widest. The PEAK Practice Programme is a 14-day guided audio practice built to train the inner capacity to see clearly and respond wisely in real conditions. 10 to 15 minutes a day. Leaders who've completed it call it one of the most practically useful things they've done for their leadership.Start here: https://peakawake.comIf this conversation lands with you:Follow Leading Awake on your podcast app so you don't miss the next conversation. And if you have a moment, please leave a rating or a review. It sounds like a small thing, but it's the most useful way to help platforms recommend the show to other senior leaders who'd benefit from these conversations.If you know a leader who'd recognise themselves in this episode (the one running everything while quietly stretched thin, the one carrying the room without anyone noticing) share it with them. That's how community builds.
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    43 min
  • Welcome to Leading Awake | The Inner Game of Senior Leadership | S01E01

    Welcome to Leading Awake | The Inner Game of Senior Leadership | S01E01
    Jun 2 2026

    When was the last time you were in a high-stakes moment and you felt completely clear? Not just composed on the outside, but actually clear. For most senior leaders, that kind of clarity is rarer than it should be, because pressure narrows the lens exactly when you need it widest. Leading Awake is a new podcast about how to get it back.

    This is a short, honest introduction to the show. Host Gilan Gork explains who Leading Awake is for, why it exists, what season 1 will cover, and what makes it different from the frameworks-and-five-laws leadership content most senior leaders are already tired of. If you're new here, this is the place to start.

    What you'll take from this episode:

    ◼ Why pressure compresses clarity exactly when senior leaders need it widest
    ◼ What makes Leading Awake different from the typical frameworks-and-five-laws leadership content
    ◼ How a former mentalist ended up coaching senior leaders at NATO and Fortune 500 companies
    ◼ What's coming in season 1: the six conversations on the schedule
    ◼ Why the inner work of leadership isn't a soft topic, it might be the most consequential one there is

    Timestamps:

    • (00:00) - The clarity question: what every senior leader feels but rarely says
    • (01:35) - Welcome to Leading Awake
    • (02:16) - From mentalism to NATO: an unusual background for leadership
    • (04:00) - What this show is: real conversations with senior leaders
    • (05:30) - "I didn't realise how many others felt the same way"
    • (06:00) - Season 1: the six conversations on the schedule
    • (06:48) - The 14-Day PEAK Practice Programme
    • (07:50) - Why this show exists: the inner work of leadership

    About Leading Awake:

    Leading Awake is a podcast for senior leaders who want to see clearly under pressure, connect more deeply, and respond more wisely in the high-stakes moments that count. Each episode is an honest, unscripted conversation with senior leaders who are willing to drop the mask and talk about what it actually takes to lead at the highest levels.

    Host Gilan Gork started as a professional mentalist working with the human mind on stages across more than 40 countries, including Fortune 500 companies, governments, and NATO. That work pulled him deeper into the inner game of leadership, and into the body of work that became PeakAwake.

    More at https://peakawake.com

    The 14-Day PEAK Practice Programme:

    Everything in this episode points to the same thing: when the pressure is on, your perception narrows, exactly when you need it to be widest. The PEAK Practice Programme is a 14-day guided audio practice built to train the inner capacity to see clearly and respond wisely in real conditions. 10 to 15 minutes a day. Leaders who've completed it call it one of the most practically useful things they've done for their leadership.

    Start here: https://peakawake.com

    If this introduction lands with you:

    Follow Leading Awake on your podcast app so you don't miss season 1. And if you have a moment, please leave a rating or a review. It's the most useful way to help platforms recommend the show to other senior leaders who'd benefit from these conversations.

    If you know a senior leader who'd find this show useful (the one stretched thin and still leading, the one carrying weight no one sees), share this episode with them. It's a short intro to what Leading Awake is and who it's for. That's how community builds.
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    10 min
  • Trailer: Mask-off Conversations with Senior Leaders

    Trailer: Mask-off Conversations with Senior Leaders
    Apr 2 2026

    In high-stakes leadership, the problem is rarely that you don't know what to do. It's that you can't always see what's actually happening. When pressure rises, your perception narrows and your mind gets busy. When a leader's lens is distorted, everyone downstream pays the price.

    Leading Awake is a roundtable podcast for mask-off conversations with senior leaders, founders, and executives on the inner experience of leading, the part most leadership content leaves out.

    Your host, Gilan Gork, founder of PeakAwake, draws on two decades as a mentalist working with leaders in 40+ countries (clients from NATO to Fortune 500 teams) to ask the questions most interviewers don't, and hear what most leaders don't usually say.

    See clearly. Connect deeply. Respond wisely.

    peakawake.com
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    2 min