What if the version of you that you've been performing as your whole life… isn't actually you?

In this episode of I'll Have What She's Having, I sit down with Emerant Barclay, a liberation guide, mystic, shadow worker, and former exotic dancer, for one of the most honest conversations I've had on this podcast about identity, masks, freedom, and what it actually takes to come home to yourself.

Emerant has lived in worlds most people would never put together. A degree in finance from one of Canada's top universities. A career in social work. Four years as an exotic dancer. And now, deep spiritual work helping people strip back the layers of who they think they need to be in order to be loved.

This conversation is about the identities we've built, the stories we've mistaken for truth, and what happens when we start asking: who am I underneath all of this?

In this episode we explore:

• What liberation actually means as a daily practice, not just a concept

• Why we build identities and how they can become invisible cages

• How performing can feel safe but costs us the depth of real connection

• What Emerant learned about boundaries, power, and expression from exotic dancing

• Shadow work: why the parts of you that you've been hiding hold your biggest gifts

• The wounds of the feminine and how cultural programming shapes who we think we need to be

• How to tell the difference between intuition and fear

• What it means to "disidentify" from a story you've been living your whole life

• Why rejection of your authentic self hurts more than rejection of your performance, and why that's where the real alchemy happens

• How to start being with what is instead of constantly trying to fix or become something

• Radical self-trust and what it looks like to lead your life from the inside out

  
  

If you've ever felt like you're living behind a mask, if you know there's more of you that wants to come out, or if you're ready to look at the shadows you've been avoiding…

This episode will meet you there.

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Meet Our Guest:

Emerant Barclay is a liberation guide, mystic, energy worker, and shadow dancer. With a background in finance and social work, and years of experience as an exotic dancer, she brings a rare blend of grounded practicality and deep spiritual wisdom to her work. She helps people dissolve the illusions of who they think they need to be and return to the resonant truth of who they actually are.

Podcast: Naked Conversations

IG: @emerantbarclay

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Why does sex sometimes feel like you're watching it happen instead of actually being in it?

Why is it so hard to answer the question "what do you want?" when a partner asks?

And why does your body sometimes tense up, go numb, or shut down during the moments that are supposed to feel the best?

In this episode of I'll Have What She's Having, I'm getting into one of the most powerful and underrated practices in my entire toolkit as a sex coach. It's something that has completely changed the way I experience sex, the way I trust my body, and the way I show up in relationships.

Most of us, regardless of what's between our legs, have spent our lives disconnected from our own genitals.

We've been taught to perform, to please, to push through.

We've overridden the signals our bodies were sending us because we didn't think we had the right to listen. And then we wonder why sex feels flat, or why we can't seem to fully let go, or why we don't even know what we like.

This episode is about rebuilding that connection. Learning to actually listen to your body, not just during sex, but as a daily practice that changes everything.

I walk you through:

• Why most people are completely disconnected from their sexual center (and don't even realize it)

• What's actually happening when your body tenses, goes numb, or shuts down during sex

• The link between your genitals and your intuition, and why this matters way beyond the bedroom

• 4 simple practices to start rebuilding that connection, whether you have a pussy, a cock, or anything in between

• What consent with your own body actually looks like (and why your body might not trust you yet)

• My personal stories of what happened when I finally started listening, including how my body literally screamed at me after years of being ignored

• How this practice completely transformed my capacity for pleasure, presence, and partnership

This episode is for anyone who has ever felt like they're going through the motions during sex, can't figure out what they actually want, or knows something is off but can't name it.

It applies to all bodies. All genders. All genitals.

Your body has been talking to you your whole life. This is how you learn to listen.

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Go Deeper

https://www.krishall.ca

Join our retreat in Mexico:

https://www.krishall.ca/application-wild-women-unleashed

Join the Sex Witch Circle!

https://www.krishall.ca/sex-witch-circle

Sex Coaching:

https://calendly.com/krishall2/consultation-call

Download The Pleasure Portal (FREE)

https://www.krishall.ca/the-pleasure-portal

Learn Sex Magic (FREE)

https://www.krishall.ca/sex-magic

Use code KRIS10 for 10% off sex toys:

waands.com

Submit your questions:

https://www.krishall.ca/podcast

IG:

https://www.instagram.com/kris.the.pleasure.engineer/

https://www.instagram.com/illhavewhat_shes_having/

What happens when you've done everything "right" and your body still says no?

In this episode, I sit down with Victoria Icenhower, aka The Self-Love Scientist, and she shares something I've honestly never heard anyone talk about so openly: her body shut down her menstrual cycle entirely. No period. No sleep. No desire. Nothing.

She was married, following the path she thought she was supposed to follow, and trying to have a baby. But her body wasn't having it. And it turns out, that was the wake-up call that changed everything.

Victoria's journey from a disconnected, unsatisfying sex life to a deeply embodied pleasure practice is one that so many women will see themselves in.

We get into:

• How shame gets wired into us from childhood and shows up in our sex lives decades later

• Why so many women have never actually gotten to know their own bodies

• The moment Victoria realized she had been dissociating during sex for years

• How a yoni egg became the gateway to reconnecting with her body

• What dearmoring is and why every woman should know about it

• Why your menstrual cycle is a vital sign (and what it means when it disappears)

• The connection between nervous system regulation and sexual pleasure

• How to start a self-pleasure practice even when you've never had one

• Why a woman who knows her own pleasure holds the power

This conversation is for anyone who's ever felt disconnected from their body, gone through the motions during sex, or wondered why pleasure feels so hard to access.

You are not broken. You just haven't been given the tools yet.

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Meet Our Guest:

Victoria Icenhower is a self-love scientist and women's empowerment coach who supports women in cultivating deeper intimacy with themselves through embodiment, confidence, and intentional pleasure practices. After leaving a marriage and losing her menstrual cycle, she embarked on a journey of radical self-discovery that led her to build a practice rooted in sensuality, nervous system healing, and sexual reclamation.

Website: theselflovescientist.com

Podcast: Love & Lattes

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Go Deeper

https://www.thepleasure.engineer

Join our retreat in Mexico:

https://www.thepleasure.engineer/wild-women-unleashed

Join the Sex Witch Circle:

https://www.thepleasure.engineer/sex-witch-circle

Sex Coaching:

https://www.thepleasure.engineer/coaching

Download The Pleasure Portal (FREE)

https://www.thepleasure.engineer/the-pleasure-portal

Learn Sex Magic (FREE)

https://www.thepleasure.engineer/sex-magic

Use code KRIS10 for 10% off sex toys:

waands.com

Submit your questions:

https://www.thepleasure.engineer/podcast

IG:

https://www.instagram.com/kris.the.pleasure.engineer/

https://www.instagram.com/illhavewhat_shes_having/

What if most of what we've been told about erectile dysfunction is… wrong?

In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Elliot Justin, MD - CEO and founder of FirmTech and a leading expert in sextech and sexual health wearables - and what he reveals about erections, arousal, and performance completely challenges the mainstream narrative.

Here's the thing: his research shows that when you remove cardiovascular disease from the equation, men in their 70s can have the same erectile function as men in their 30s.

So if it's not age… what's actually causing it?

Spoiler: it's not what most doctors are telling you.

We get into:

- Why most men don't actually have erectile dysfunction (even if they think they do)

- The real reason men lose erections (hint: it's emotional, not physical)

- How sexual performance is a window into your nervous system, stress levels, and overall health

- The connection between erections and cardiovascular health that could literally save lives

- What "normal" actually looks like at different ages

- How new wearable technology is giving real data about what's happening in the body

- Why penises and vaginas are way more similar than we think

And yes, women may have nocturnal erections too

Whether you have a penis or love someone who does, this episode will shift everything you thought you knew about sexual performance.

The research from Firmtech has genuinely taught us something very important about the human body & sex - let's get into it.

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Meet Our Guest:

Dr. Elliot Justin, MD, is the CEO and Founder of FirmTech and an expert in the intersection of sexual and cardiac health. His award-winning Tech Ring is the first smart intimacy wearable of its kind, enhancing pleasure while tracking essential health metrics. His research is redefining what we understand about erectile health, aging, and arousal.

Discover more at:

myfirmtech.com

_____

Go Deeper

https://www.thepleasure.engineer

Join our retreat in Mexico:

https://www.krishall.ca/application-wild-women-unleashed

Join the Sex Witch Circle!

https://www.krishall.ca/sex-witch-circle

Sex Coaching:

https://calendly.com/krishall2/consultation-call

Download The Pleasure Portal (FREE)

https://www.krishall.ca/the-pleasure-portal

Learn Sex Magic (FREE)

https://www.krishall.ca/sex-magic

Use code KRIS10 for 10% off sex toys:

waands.com

Submit your questions:

https://www.krishall.ca/podcast

IG:

https://www.instagram.com/kris.the.pleasure.engineer/

https://www.instagram.com/illhavewhat_shes_having/

Let’s talk about (oral) sex baby!

Let’s talk about you and me....

Oh yes, to celebrate EPISODE 69 of this podcast, welcome to the Oral Sex Special.

We found the most asked questions, the most spoken about fears, and the most confusing parts about oral sex, and we talked about it all.

We’re talking about techniques, myths, communication challenges, confidence, and pleasure principles that can completely change the experience for both partners.

Great oral sex isn’t about having the best technique (although that doesn’t hurt!). It’s about connection & energy.

It's about slowing down, paying attention, and learning how to become a more connected, responsive, and generous lover.

This episode talks about:

• The biggest mistakes people make during oral sex

• Why technique matters less than you think

• How to communicate what you actually want

• The difference between performance and pleasure

• Why so many people might feel anxious or self-conscious

• How to create more confidence in the bedroom

• Practical tips that can improve intimacy immediately

Whether you're single, dating, in a long-term relationship, or simply curious about how to create more pleasure in your sex life, this episode is packed with practical advice, honest conversations, and plenty of laughs.

If you've ever felt unsure about oral sex, or wanted a place to talk about it more...

This episode is for you.

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Meet Our Guest

Back once again after the "redefining our relationship” conversation in EP 66, Graham (my ex partner and current lover) comes on to chat about one of his favourite things in the world - where we have a lot of shared history and understanding.

Find him & his men’s coaching resources at:

grahamzell.ca

_____

Go Deeper

https://www.krishall.ca

Join our retreat in Mexico:

https://www.krishall.ca/application-wild-women-unleashed

Join the Sex Witch Circle!

https://www.krishall.ca/sex-witch-circle

Sex Coaching:

https://calendly.com/krishall2/consultation-call

Download The Pleasure Portal (FREE)

⁠https://www.krishall.ca/the-pleasure-portal⁠

Learn Sex Magic (FREE)

https://www.krishall.ca/sex-magic

Use code KRIS10 for 10% off sex toys:

waands.com

Submit your questions:

⁠⁠https://www.krishall.ca/podcast⁠⁠

IG:

https://www.instagram.com/kris.the.pleasure.engineer/

https://www.instagram.com/illhavewhat_shes_having/

Dating can feel confusing, frustrating… and honestly, exhausting.

So many people are trying to “get it right” - say the right thing, act the right way, or not mess it up.

But what if that’s the very thing keeping you stuck?

In this short solo episode, I’m sharing the #1 shift that changes everything when it comes to dating.

It has nothing to do with strategies, rules, or trying to be more confident.

It’s about feeling worthy of the partnership you seek.

We can talk about self-love all day long, but if you don’t feel worthy of being loved in the way you want to be, you’ll never find the love you’re looking for.

This episode is less about what to do and more about who you are when you’re doing it.

If dating has ever made you question yourself, shrink, or overanalyze every interaction…

This 15-minute pep talk is exactly what you need.

_____

Go Deeper

https://www.krishall.ca

Join our retreat in Mexico:

https://www.krishall.ca/application-wild-women-unleashed

Sex Coaching:

https://calendly.com/krishall2/consultation-call

Download The Pleasure Portal (FREE)

⁠https://www.krishall.ca/the-pleasure-portal⁠

Learn Sex Magic (FREE)

https://www.krishall.ca/sex-magic

Use code KRIS10 for 10% off sex toys:

waands.com

Submit your questions:

⁠⁠https://www.krishall.ca/podcast⁠⁠

IG:

https://www.instagram.com/kris.the.pleasure.engineer/

https://www.instagram.com/illhavewhat_shes_having/