What if the version of you that you've been performing as your whole life… isn't actually you?

In this episode of I'll Have What She's Having, I sit down with Emerant Barclay, a liberation guide, mystic, shadow worker, and former exotic dancer, for one of the most honest conversations I've had on this podcast about identity, masks, freedom, and what it actually takes to come home to yourself.

Emerant has lived in worlds most people would never put together. A degree in finance from one of Canada's top universities. A career in social work. Four years as an exotic dancer. And now, deep spiritual work helping people strip back the layers of who they think they need to be in order to be loved.

This conversation is about the identities we've built, the stories we've mistaken for truth, and what happens when we start asking: who am I underneath all of this?

In this episode we explore:

• What liberation actually means as a daily practice, not just a concept

• Why we build identities and how they can become invisible cages

• How performing can feel safe but costs us the depth of real connection

• What Emerant learned about boundaries, power, and expression from exotic dancing

• Shadow work: why the parts of you that you've been hiding hold your biggest gifts

• The wounds of the feminine and how cultural programming shapes who we think we need to be

• How to tell the difference between intuition and fear

• What it means to "disidentify" from a story you've been living your whole life

• Why rejection of your authentic self hurts more than rejection of your performance, and why that's where the real alchemy happens

• How to start being with what is instead of constantly trying to fix or become something

• Radical self-trust and what it looks like to lead your life from the inside out

  
  

If you've ever felt like you're living behind a mask, if you know there's more of you that wants to come out, or if you're ready to look at the shadows you've been avoiding…

This episode will meet you there.

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Meet Our Guest:

Emerant Barclay is a liberation guide, mystic, energy worker, and shadow dancer. With a background in finance and social work, and years of experience as an exotic dancer, she brings a rare blend of grounded practicality and deep spiritual wisdom to her work. She helps people dissolve the illusions of who they think they need to be and return to the resonant truth of who they actually are.

Podcast: Naked Conversations

IG: @emerantbarclay

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Go Deeper

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Why does sex sometimes feel like you're watching it happen instead of actually being in it?

Why is it so hard to answer the question "what do you want?" when a partner asks?

And why does your body sometimes tense up, go numb, or shut down during the moments that are supposed to feel the best?

In this episode of I'll Have What She's Having, I'm getting into one of the most powerful and underrated practices in my entire toolkit as a sex coach. It's something that has completely changed the way I experience sex, the way I trust my body, and the way I show up in relationships.

Most of us, regardless of what's between our legs, have spent our lives disconnected from our own genitals.

We've been taught to perform, to please, to push through.

We've overridden the signals our bodies were sending us because we didn't think we had the right to listen. And then we wonder why sex feels flat, or why we can't seem to fully let go, or why we don't even know what we like.

This episode is about rebuilding that connection. Learning to actually listen to your body, not just during sex, but as a daily practice that changes everything.

I walk you through:

• Why most people are completely disconnected from their sexual center (and don't even realize it)

• What's actually happening when your body tenses, goes numb, or shuts down during sex

• The link between your genitals and your intuition, and why this matters way beyond the bedroom

• 4 simple practices to start rebuilding that connection, whether you have a pussy, a cock, or anything in between

• What consent with your own body actually looks like (and why your body might not trust you yet)

• My personal stories of what happened when I finally started listening, including how my body literally screamed at me after years of being ignored

• How this practice completely transformed my capacity for pleasure, presence, and partnership

This episode is for anyone who has ever felt like they're going through the motions during sex, can't figure out what they actually want, or knows something is off but can't name it.

It applies to all bodies. All genders. All genitals.

Your body has been talking to you your whole life. This is how you learn to listen.

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Go Deeper

https://www.krishall.ca

Join our retreat in Mexico:

https://www.krishall.ca/application-wild-women-unleashed

Join the Sex Witch Circle!

https://www.krishall.ca/sex-witch-circle

Sex Coaching:

https://calendly.com/krishall2/consultation-call

Download The Pleasure Portal (FREE)

https://www.krishall.ca/the-pleasure-portal

Learn Sex Magic (FREE)

https://www.krishall.ca/sex-magic

Use code KRIS10 for 10% off sex toys:

waands.com

Submit your questions:

https://www.krishall.ca/podcast

IG:

https://www.instagram.com/kris.the.pleasure.engineer/

https://www.instagram.com/illhavewhat_shes_having/

What happens when you've done everything "right" and your body still says no?

In this episode, I sit down with Victoria Icenhower, aka The Self-Love Scientist, and she shares something I've honestly never heard anyone talk about so openly: her body shut down her menstrual cycle entirely. No period. No sleep. No desire. Nothing.

She was married, following the path she thought she was supposed to follow, and trying to have a baby. But her body wasn't having it. And it turns out, that was the wake-up call that changed everything.

Victoria's journey from a disconnected, unsatisfying sex life to a deeply embodied pleasure practice is one that so many women will see themselves in.

We get into:

• How shame gets wired into us from childhood and shows up in our sex lives decades later

• Why so many women have never actually gotten to know their own bodies

• The moment Victoria realized she had been dissociating during sex for years

• How a yoni egg became the gateway to reconnecting with her body

• What dearmoring is and why every woman should know about it

• Why your menstrual cycle is a vital sign (and what it means when it disappears)

• The connection between nervous system regulation and sexual pleasure

• How to start a self-pleasure practice even when you've never had one

• Why a woman who knows her own pleasure holds the power

This conversation is for anyone who's ever felt disconnected from their body, gone through the motions during sex, or wondered why pleasure feels so hard to access.

You are not broken. You just haven't been given the tools yet.

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Meet Our Guest:

Victoria Icenhower is a self-love scientist and women's empowerment coach who supports women in cultivating deeper intimacy with themselves through embodiment, confidence, and intentional pleasure practices. After leaving a marriage and losing her menstrual cycle, she embarked on a journey of radical self-discovery that led her to build a practice rooted in sensuality, nervous system healing, and sexual reclamation.

Website: theselflovescientist.com

Podcast: Love & Lattes

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Go Deeper

https://www.thepleasure.engineer

Join our retreat in Mexico:

https://www.thepleasure.engineer/wild-women-unleashed

Join the Sex Witch Circle:

https://www.thepleasure.engineer/sex-witch-circle

Sex Coaching:

https://www.thepleasure.engineer/coaching

Download The Pleasure Portal (FREE)

https://www.thepleasure.engineer/the-pleasure-portal

Learn Sex Magic (FREE)

https://www.thepleasure.engineer/sex-magic

Use code KRIS10 for 10% off sex toys:

waands.com

Submit your questions:

https://www.thepleasure.engineer/podcast

IG:

https://www.instagram.com/kris.the.pleasure.engineer/

https://www.instagram.com/illhavewhat_shes_having/