This episode discusses childhood narcissistic abuse, hair-based control, bullying, and physical abuse involving a hairbrush. Please take care while listening and pause or skip if you need to.

In this episode, I share how hair-based control, criticism, and abuse shaped my relationship with my natural curls. I talk about reclaiming my hair through a curly cut, bangs, purple curls, and learning to choose what feels like me.

• I reflect on growing up feeling shamed for my curly hair and having it cut or straightened against my wishes.
• I share how criticism from abusers and bullies affected my confidence and the way I styled my hair.
• I talk about reclaiming my curls, trying a curly cut with bangs, and embracing purple highlights.
• I reflect on what feels authentic now, including the complicated feelings I still have about my gray hair.
• I invite you to consider your own relationship with your hair and what might bring you joy.

00:31 Introduction and episode overview
01:26 Personal hair trauma and its connection to narcissistic abuse
01:58 Cultural influences and childhood experiences with hair
03:15 Healing journey: reclaiming natural hair and joy
04:13 The role of trauma and shame in hair relationships
05:34 Tools and practices for healing hair trauma
09:11 The significance of hair as identity and expression
14:01 Breaking free from abusive conditioning and reclaiming self-love
20:29 The importance of authentic self-expression through hair
25:34 Celebrating natural hair and embracing aging
30:37 Healing invitation: reflecting on your own hair story

• EP.081: Rumination OCD with Dr. Michael J. Greenberg

• Find a Helpline
• In the U.S., call or text 988 for the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.

✨ Stay connected with Hello Trauma Brain:

🎧 Listen on all platforms → hellotraumabrain.riverside.com

🔗 All links in one place → bio.site/hellotraumabrain

⭐ Subscribe + leave a 5-star review wherever you listen

📱 Follow @hellotraumabrain on social → Instagram | TikTok

▶️ Subscribe on YouTube and hit the bell

💛 Donate via PayPal → paypal.com/paypalme/rmichellerising

📧 Email Raysa → hellotraumabrain@gmail.com

In this trailer, I'm announcing Season 4 of Hello Trauma Brain, premiering October 22, 2026. This season, I'm digging into toxic shame, shame that was never mine to carry in the first place, and I'm giving it back to the people it actually belongs to: my abusers.

• Season 4 premieres October 22, 2026
• This season's theme: releasing toxic shame
• A mix of solo episodes, conversations with fellow survivors and trauma experts, and illustration episodes using media to show what narcissistic abuse can look like in real life
• New episodes every other Thursday or as my trauma brain allows
• While you wait, you can catch up on Seasons 1–3 wherever you listen, and subscribe now so you don't miss the premiere
• Remember you deserve to heal

If you're struggling, you're not alone. Support is available right now.

🌍 International: findahelpline.com

🇺🇸 US: Call or text 988

✨ Stay connected with Hello Trauma Brain:

🎧 Listen on all platforms → hellotraumabrain.riverside.com

🔗 All links in one place → bio.site/hellotraumabrain

⭐ Subscribe + leave a 5-star review wherever you listen

📱 Follow @hellotraumabrain on social → Instagram | TikTok

▶️ Subscribe on YouTube and hit the bell

💛 Donate via PayPal → paypal.com/paypalme/rmichellerising

📧 Email Raysa → hellotraumabrain@gmail.com

⚠️ Content warning: This episode touches on place-based trauma triggers, institutional gaslighting, references to a dangerous situation (no specific details), financial abuse, and OCD/rumination. Please take care of yourself while listening.

In this episode, I get real about what happened during my latest vacation. It was three days, a lot of layers, some real joy, and some genuinely hard stuff, and my C-PTSD showed up the whole way through. I talk about learning to actually plan for myself instead of winging it and hoping for the best, what happened when old triggers came up on the road, and how I found my way back to myself after a really rough day two. This is also our Season 3 finale, so I'm looking back on the season and sharing what's coming in Season 4.

Chapters

00:30 The Struggles of Taking a Vacation with CPTSD
09:45 Reclaiming Vacationing: A Personal Journey
13:41 Planning for Self-Care: A New Approach to Vacations
17:25 Facing Triggers: A Road Trip Through Memories
24:41 Finding Joy in the Unexpected: Day One of the Trip
24:47 The Challenges of Day Two: A Poorly Organized Event
27:46 Gaslighting and Reflection: The Aftermath of Day Two
30:44 The Aftermath of Burnout and Recovery
32:35 Therapeutic Insights and Validation
34:38 Restoring Faith in Experiences
40:02 Season Three Recap and Lessons Learned
43:45 Looking Ahead to Season Four
43:58 Healing Invitation

Resources mentioned:

• Gregory Alan Isakov's website: gregoryalanisakov.com

Episodes mentioned:

• EP.071 - Transcend Trauma
• EP.072 - SurThriving
• EP.073 - Screaming Body
• EP.074 - CPTSD Q&A
• EP.078 - Home After Abuse
• EP.079 - Unlearning Stuck
• EP.081 - Rumination & OCD

If you need support:

• Find a helpline near you: findahelpline.com
• US: call or text 988

✨ Stay connected with Hello Trauma Brain:

🎧 Listen on all platforms → hellotraumabrain.riverside.com

🔗 All links in one place → bio.site/hellotraumabrain

⭐ Subscribe + leave a 5-star review wherever you listen

📱 Follow @hellotraumabrain on social → Instagram | TikTok

▶️ Subscribe on YouTube and hit the bell

💛 Donate via PayPal → paypal.com/paypalme/rmichellerising

📧 Email Raysa → hellotraumabrain@gmail.com

Episode Overview

This bonus episode is a quick update from me: I was recently a guest on The Chaos to Connection Podcast with Diane Sorensen, where we talked about C-PTSD, estrangement, boundaries, and inner child reparenting. I'm sharing a few reflections on what came up for me after listening back, plus a preview of what's ahead for Hello Trauma Brain.

In This Episode

• I announce my guest appearance on The Chaos to Connection Podcast (episode 299) with host Diane Sorensen
• We talked about C-PTSD, estrangement, boundaries, and inner child reparenting
• I reflect on what I wished I'd mentioned about C-PTSD, including its roots in relational trauma
• A preview: Diane Sorensen will be a guest on Hello Trauma Brain during Season 4
• What's next for HTB: the Season 3 finale is coming soon, with Season 4 launching in September 2026

Resources Mentioned

• 299. The Patterns That Once Protected You: Understanding Complex Trauma with Raysa (my guest appearance on The Chaos to Connection Podcast, hosted by Diane Sorensen)

Stay Connected

✨ Stay connected with Hello Trauma Brain:

🎧 Listen on all platforms → hellotraumabrain.riverside.com

🔗 All links in one place → bio.site/hellotraumabrain

⭐ Subscribe + leave a 5-star review wherever you listen

📱 Follow @hellotraumabrain on social → Instagram | TikTok

▶️ Subscribe on YouTube and hit the bell

💛 Donate via PayPal → paypal.com/paypalme/rmichellerising

📧 Email Raysa → hellotraumabrain@gmail.com

⚠️ Content Warning: This episode mentions trauma and references to suicidal ideation. Please take care of yourself.

Heads up: some audio distortion + no YouTube this time (copyright claim). Full video on Spotify. 💛

Have you seen K-Pop Demon Hunters? This award-winning animated film is stunning, but what stopped me cold was how accurately it portrays toxic shame: where it comes from, how it's used to control us, and how we begin to heal. In this episode, I break down key scenes through a C-PTSD lens, exploring the connection between toxic shame, the inner critic, narcissistic abuse, and what it looks like to reclaim your voice.

⏱️ Chapters:

00:00 Intro

08:52 Shame & Its Origins

14:50 K-Pop Clip Analysis Begins

17:37 Shame Steals Rest & Joy

19:21 C-PTSD Thieves of Joy

19:48 The Burden of Toxic Shame

22:12 Rumi's Shame

23:50 Voice & Value

26:40 Shame as Control

29:04 Hope vs. Shame

30:45 Healing Through Compassion

32:35 Facing the Past

35:00 Acceptance & Vulnerability

37:09 Fear of Rejection

39:29 The Inner Critic

43:16 Gray vs. Dark Gray Rocking

46:50 Empowerment Through Music

49:52 Healing from Shame

56:37 Healing Invitation

📚 Resources mentioned:

• 🎬 K-Pop Demon Hunters (watch on Netflix)
• 📖 Healing the Shame That Binds You by John Bradshaw
• 🌐 Brené Brown shame vs. guilt research
• 📖 Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving by Pete Walker
• 🌐 Dr. Ramani Durvasula narcissistic abuse expert
• 📲 RRP Therapists on Instagram
• 📺 Ruri Ohama ADHD Notion system (YouTube)

🆘 If you or someone you know is struggling:

🌍 Worldwide crisis support: findahelpline.com

🇺🇸 US only — call or text 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline)

✨ Stay connected with Hello Trauma Brain:

🎧 Listen on all platforms → hellotraumabrain.riverside.com

🔗 All links in one place → bio.site/hellotraumabrain

⭐ Subscribe + leave a 5-star review wherever you listen

📱 Follow @hellotraumabrain on social → Instagram | TikTok

▶️ Subscribe on YouTube and hit the bell

💛 Donate via PayPal → paypal.com/paypalme/rmichellerising

📧 Email Raysa → hellotraumabrain@gmail.com

In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Michael J. Greenberg, licensed clinical psychologist and the director of OCD Associates, to talk about something I've lived with since childhood but only recently learned has a name: rumination OCD. For a long time, I thought rumination was something that happened to me, a side effect of trauma. But Michael's work helped me see that rumination is actually something we do, and if it's something we do, it's something we can stop.

We talk about what rumination is, how it differs from intrusive thoughts, the six engagement patterns that keep rumination going, and how attachment and complex trauma can intensify OCD loops. This conversation opened my eyes to how treating OCD requires different tools than treating C-PTSD, and I hope it offers you the same clarity it gave me.

Chapters:

10:49 Conversation with Dr. Greenberg begins

13:02 Understanding Rumination in OCD

14:11 The Control of Rumination

17:08 The Complexity of Stopping Rumination

19:56 The Role of Core Fears in OCD

35:49 Core Fears and Emotional Conflicts

37:37 The Role of Attachment in OCD

52:06 Dependency and Control in Treatment 58:11 Inner Child Work and Its Challenges

01:02:48 Understanding Rumination and Compulsions 01:04:13 The Six Types of Rumination

01:07:57 Navigating Emotional Flashbacks and Feelings 01:24:22 Healing Invitation

Connect with Dr. Michael J. Greenberg:

• Website
• Email: michael@drmichaeljgreenberg.com

Resources Mentioned:

• Dr. Elna Yadin
• David Malan’s book Individual Psychotherapy and the Science of Psychodynamics
• Dr. Michael Alcée’s Website

✨ Stay connected with Hello Trauma Brain:

🎧 Listen on all platforms → hellotraumabrain.riverside.com 🔗 All links in one place → bio.site/hellotraumabrain ⭐

Subscribe + leave a 5-star review wherever you listen 📱 Follow @hellotraumabrain on social

▶️ Subscribe on YouTube and hit the bell

💛 Donate via PayPal → paypal.com/paypalme/rmichellerising

📧 Email Raysa → hellotraumabrain@gmail.com

April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month, and in this episode I share my personal experiences as a survivor of sexual abuse and emotional incest. For a long time, I didn't have names for what happened to me. I just knew something felt wrong.

• 00:00 Sexual Abuse Awareness Month
• 05:20 Trauma Anniversaries
• 09:40 Emotional Incest
• 25:27 Consent and Boundaries
• 33:21 Spectrum of Sexual Abuse
• 36:13 Grooming and Why Survivors Stay Silent
• 40:44 Resources and Healing

• RAINN Hotline — 1-800-656-HOPE
• Crisis Text Line — Text HOME to 741741
• SNAP
• Psychology Today Therapist Finder
• YWCA (not YMCA 😅)
• Incest Aware Alliance
• Healing and C-PTSD Foundation
• Silently Seduced — Kenneth Adams
• Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents — Lindsay C. Gibson
• The Emotional Incest Syndrome — Patricia Love
• Fawning — Dr. Ingrid Clayton
• Perry Power on Instagram
• Brad Shore on YouTube
• EP.064 with Dr. Ingrid Clayton
• RAYE — Life Boat
• Redd & The Paper Flowers

✨ Stay connected:

📱 Instagram

🌐 hellotraumabrain.riverside.com

🌐 All platforms via Bio Site (quick links to every player 🙂)

💛 Donate via PayPal

📧 hellotraumabrain@gmail.com