Greed Power and Self Confidence 
Hello and welcome back to Embrace The Wrestle.  I’m glad you’re here!!  
I’ve been thinking a lot about this crazy upside down we seem to be living in, and what we can do to make it better.  
I don’t know about you, but I know I become disheartened, disappointed, discouraged by all of the discord, all of the blaming, and certainly all of the violence that is taking place. It seems that no matter where I look, in my local community, my state, the United States, and the world, there is ugliness that is pervasive.   It all hurts my heart.  
In everyday life people can be so cruel to one another…. Reading comments on FB, or on the Neighbor app… I don’t understand why people have to be so mean.  And then if I look at the bigger picture of politics and politicians, I become even more disappointed and even ANGRY.  GREED and POWER.  That’s what I see.  
Why “everyday people” have to be so mean to one another, or why people in powerful positions often see the need to hide the facts from us “everyday people” … I can become so incensed… do they really think we’re so stupid that we’re not able to see thru their lies???  I don’t care which side of the fence you’re looking at politically, they’re all lying to us (at least that’s my humble opinion).  
GREED… wanting more and more, taking and not giving.   POWER… being in control with selfish motives.  
I may not understand all of the underpinnings of GREED and POWER, because I think there can be as many reasons for these types of behaviors/actions as there are people, but I do think there are some basic characteristics. underneath all of this.  
On an Individual level I think we can become so concerned about being “right” that we become “threatened” by the possibility of being wrong, we become “threatened” by someone that holds a different opinion.  It feels better if others are in agreement with us, group consensus can tell us that WE’RE RIGHT, and it’s COMFORTABLE knowing that others are in my camp.  
But the problem with that comfort in “knowing that we’re right” can put BLINDERS on us…. We’re only able to see things in a certain way, through “our” lens of what’s right and wrong.  It doesn’t leave any room for discussion, let alone questioning or re-examining our stance.  
My thoughts have long been that the more CONFIDENCE a person has, the better their SELF-ESTEEM is the more comfortable that person is going to be with listening to a different viewpoint, to actually having a calm/civil discussion with someone who holds a different viewpoint.  If I like the person I am and feel comfortable and CONFIDENT in my skin then I’m going to be able to allow myself to think outside of the “box” that I’ve created for myself, or perhaps that others’ have created for me.  I believe that SELF CONFIDENCE allows us to be comfortable with those who disagree with us.  The SELF-CONFIDENT person isn’t going to be Threatened by someone with a different opinion.  The SELF-CONFIDENT person is going to welcome discussion and even questioning.  
Perhaps the most significant part of being SELF CONFIDENT is that it allows us to be wrong without feeling that we’ve “lost face”, without losing faith in ourselves.  But to the contrary, if I don’t have much SELF CONFIDENCE I’m going to be threatened by “being wrong”, I’m going to feel that I “lost face”, that others are judging me because I was wrong…. That’s going to feed into my feeling “less than”.   None of us want to feel “less than” … so if that’s my fear I’m going to fight hard to prevent that from happening…. I’m going to tear the other person down first…. I’m going to make

New Year Transitions and Confessions

Hello….And Happy New Year !! I hope the New year is off to a good start for you! 

I’m BACK… after a rather lengthy, and unplanned absence 😊  I didn’t intend to “ghost” the podcast, but that’s certainly what happened.  I was shocked, and a little embarrassed to realize the last Podcast I put out was in October….early October of 2022.  
So much has happened since then….in the world, in our nation (the US) ….  It seems there’s a never-ending occurrence of TRAGEDY that is plaguing our Nation, and I’m sure in all of our personal lives as well

I’ve personally gone through a couple of TRANSITIONS since the fall…. Not the least of which was turning 65 ….. I guess that makes me an official “senior citizen” …. I’m now on Medicare (talk about mind boggling) …. It seems rather surreal to me….. 65 sounds like such a serious age….. I won’t say that 65 sounds “old”, but it does sound rather “mature”, or what I like to call “seasoned”.  And, I dare say I have become rather well “seasoned” in these 65 years!  Although my body sometimes feels achy and stiff, I feel young at heart 😊, and my mind seems young, at least in the way I look at things and the things that excite me and get my creative juices flowing!  
Wisdom is probably what I value the most of this age.  I certainly don’t know all of the answers, and sometimes I’m not sure I understand the questions lol.  Life has brought me many lessons, some quick and easy, and others that have been drawn out and downright hard.  Through these experiences I like to think I’ve gained some Wisdom.  With Wisdom comes a sense of knowing and understanding….. what I know and understand is that the Universe ALWAYS has our back… we just have to pay attention, and sometimes we just need to get out of our own way.    Another thing I know for sure is that I still have a lot to learn!
 Aside from Transitioning to “official Senior Citizenship” I’ve also made a work transition since the last podcast.  
For anyone who has listened to previous podcasts you may remember that I’ve been talking about making a job change at the 1st of the year, this year 2023.  I’m very happy to say that this has happened.   I’ve changed from doing Geri Psych consultations at Long Term Care and Independent Living facilities to working in an outpatient Mental health private practice. 
I’m glad to back in this type of setting.  Although I learned a lot and am glad I had the experience of working with the Geriatric population, and their families, I feel that I’m back to where I like being the most, outpatient.  I’ve been with this practice on a very part-time basis for the past 5 or 6 years.  It’s good to be here with expanded hours, and to be able to work with others in a collegial way. 
What about you? What Transitions did you go thru last year? Are you in a transition now? Are there changes you’re planning or have in the works?  I would really enjoy hearing about your Transitions and Changes.  Remember, you can always email me at ladema@embracetherwrestle.net, or you can go to the website: www.embracethewrestle.net and leave a voice message there.  Just go to the Contact page on the website, you’ll see an orange button that will allow you to record a message 😊 Isn’t that cool??? And no worries, I’m the only one that can listen to your message …. 

So, I’m 65 and I just made a job change… I do realize this is the age at which many people are thinking about retirement or have already retired.  But I’m still not done!  Lol I feel there’s still a lot for me to do.  

My plan overall plan remains the same… to continue to grow and expand The Willow Group… my business.  This podcast is one arm of that business.  My plan all along has been to add a variety of services to the business, all along th

In this episode LaDema talks about Emotionally Healthy Boundaries and why they are important.  Several examples are given of different scenarios and how Emotionally Healthy Boundaries could be set.  

Take Away Points: 

*When do we know that we need Emotionally Healthy Boundaries: 
   . Usually when we are feeling resentful, angry, or realize we’re doing a good deal of whining or complaining about something.  

*Without EMOTIONALLY HEALTHY BOUNDARIES: 

          .We can subject ourselves to feeling EXPOSED or VULNERABLE
          .We are always consenting to what everyone else wants or needs, at the expense of sacrificing our own wants/needs

*What are some the things that Prevent us from setting EHBs? 

          .The fear of REJECTION or ABANDONMENT 

          .Wanting to AVOID CONFRONTATION

          .Feelings of GUILT (we are not doing anything wrong)

          .We were never taught or shown how to do this 

*What’s the Risk or Cost of EMOTIONALLY UNHEALTHY BOUNDARIES: 

          .We can share too much too soon, leading to that feeling of Vulnerability or Exposure

          .We can keep our Boundaries so tight or rigid that we close ourselves off from others

          .We don’t allow ourselves to say NO out of fear of REJECTION 

          .We keep a weak sense of self because we base our self value on how others treat us

          .We continue to allow ourselves to be DISEMPOWERED by allowing others to make decisions for us…this can lead to a feeling of POWERLESSNESS over self

          .We Don’t take RESPONSIBILITY for ourselves, because we’re allowing others to make decisions for us… this can lead to a sense of VICTIMIZATION. 

*The BENEFITS of EHBs: 

          .We have a sense of taking good care of ourselves, and this can lead to improved or positive Self-Esteem

          .We are protecting our Emotional and Physical space from being intruded upon

          .We begin to feel a sense of ASSERTIVENESS as we practice saying Yes or No in SPEAKING UP FOR OURSELVES

          .We end up EMPOWERING ourselves to make healthy choices and take RESPONSIBILITY for ourselves!! 

*Dos of EHBs 

          .Do be CLEAR, CALM, FIRM, RESPECTFUL when setting EHBs 

          .Do REMEMBER your are NOT responsible for the other person’s reaction to your boundary 

          .Do REMEMBER that it takes TIME and PRACTICE 

          .Do EXPECT that the EHBs will be TESTED… likely more than once

 
email: ladema@embracethewrestle.net
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