Our guest today, Sam, leads us to the grand finale of Season 2! He shares about learning how to trust himself to make positive change now that he’s gotten a year clean. We discuss how many of us used to make changes in our lives due to survival or self-sabotage until it just became normal. We hope for change in recovery to look more like growth, but how do we know the difference? We take a look at whether we’re running from something we need to deal with or running toward improving quality of life. We are learning to redirect the perseverance we had during addiction toward new goals and cope with the feelings that stand in our way. We find that the root of our addiction (even after we’ve put down the substance) is dealing with feelings. If we are using our survival mindset to deal with them, survival is all we get. We do the work to change our mindset, which changes our feelings and actions. Our goal in recovery is not only to gain more abundance, but most importantly, to gain an abundance mindset.

Tool References: Super Powers (Toolkit 1), The Other Side of Fear (Toolkit 1), Our Normal is not Normal (Toolkit 2)

Our guest today, Jaclyn, has over two years clean and breaks the ice with some humor around navigating dating in recovery! Through conversation we explore our motivations behind sex, relationships, and most importantly the relationship we’re building with ourselves along the recovery journey. Not only are we learning what we’re looking for in others, we’re discovering what it is WE have. Afterall, the other person isn’t the only one who has to bring things to the table in the relationship! We talk about how we end up attracting whatever we’re giving- for good or bad. Beyond dating, practicing intimacy with anyone can be tough, even with friends or a sponsor. We all carry around past negative experiences that our minds have created stories about- “She doesn’t care...He’ll hurt me...I’m not good enough.” These stories often need some updating to make room for new experiences to happen. We discuss how recovery gives us the ability to examine our stories and provides us with the choice of writing a new one. Vulnerability takes risk, but the reward? Connection.

Tool References: Perspective (Toolkit 1), Check Motivation Light (Toolkit 2), Vulnerability (Toolkit 2), Editing the Story (Toolkit 3)

Today, Elyse brings in our guest Arianna who describes her journey with gaining tools in recovery yet having trouble with accumulating clean time. She talks about the “switch” and how there seems to be a struggle between our old self and the one we’re learning to grow into. Elyse describes this as being something that we’re actually constantly doing throughout our recovery journey; there are many layers of surrender and changes that a life in recovery demands. Besides the desire to use a substance, there are other aspects of life that we find new tools to deal with as well, like romance and finance. Awakenings may happen for some in large climactic moments, but they can also be realizations that growth is required in more areas of life. Through discussion, we explore how a lot of areas still have similar basic needs- from substances to sex and relationships to finances- the core needs could really be fun, comfort, security, feeling loved...Luckily, the recovery journey directs us toward letting go of our old coping mechanisms and finding new ways to get our needs met. Arianna points out the importance of having a group of supportive people who can offer us security when we’re still working toward building it within. As we replace unhealthy things with the healthier versions, we learn to fill the void without the chaos. The side benefit? Realizing that the journey of growth is much more exciting anyways.

Tool References: The Switch (Toolkit 1), Core Needs (Toolkit 2)