Episodi

  • 368: Reclaiming Your Pleasure and Power in Difficult Times with Regena Thomashauer

    368: Reclaiming Your Pleasure and Power in Difficult Times with Regena Thomashauer
    Oct 25 2026
    If the last couple of years have taught us anything in the DEI space, it's that living in constant hyper-vigilance will burn you out . Between economic shifts, societal pushback, and the sheer mental load of caring for everyone else, so many of us are operating in complete fight or flight mode. In this episode of Allyship in Action, I sat down with the incredible Regena Thomashauer—aka Mama Gena—to talk about how we can shift out of defense mode and back into our own innate power . I'll be honest, when Regena pulled up music for an impromptu 15-second dance break right in the middle of our interview, my initial instinct was to laugh off my bad "Elaine from Seinfeld" moves. But feeling my heart rate settle and my nervous system calm down in real time reminded me of an essential truth: as women and leaders, we cannot pour from an empty cup or lead effectively when we're disconnected from our own joy. Key Conversation Themes
    • Pleasure as a Biological and Healing Modality Connecting to body-based pleasure triggers vital neurotransmitters like oxytocin, dopamine, and endorphins that calm the nervous system and lower cortisol. "If we are not actively connecting to our erotic aliveness, we are leaving one of the most profound healing modalities on the table."
    • Rebalancing Divine Masculine and Feminine Energies True systemic progress requires honoring both masculine and feminine perspectives equally rather than forcing women to conform to male-centered organizational or cultural norms. "Masculine and feminine are equally divine, equally sacred, and equally holy. The feminine excluded from leadership positions, from spiritual culture, it's damaging to both men and women."
    • Surrendering to Your Aliveness in Crisis Surrender is not about submitting to external circumstances. It is an act of reclaiming internal power and grounding yourself when facing financial or personal hardships. "In hard times, how do you, instead of turn on yourself, turn on to your erotic aliveness. That is the biggest difference, because if you cannot connect, you surrender to that erotic aliveness that lives inside every woman."
    • Overcoming the Conditioning Against Self-Celebration Women are socialized to stay humble and small, but normalizing bragging builds connection, restores joy, and changes team dynamics in workplace environments. "Women, by nurture don't like bragging. We've been socialized to be humble. When you brag, you're creating a pleasurable experience and turning on all those neurotransmitters."
    Actionable Takeaway Start your next team meeting or individual work routine with a brief, intentional shift into positive energy—whether that is a 15-second physical dance break to reset your nervous system or sharing a single brag to celebrate a personal or professional win.
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    27 min
  • 367: Building an Equitable Future Through Moral Conviction and Uncomfortable Truths with Evelyn Carter

    367: Building an Equitable Future Through Moral Conviction and Uncomfortable Truths with Evelyn Carter
    Oct 18 2026
    If you have ever caught yourself second-guessing how you navigate a delicate conversation around race at work, trust me, you are not alone. This week, I had the absolute joy of sitting down with the brilliant Dr. Evelyn Carter, social psychologist and author of Was That Racist? We geeked out over the fascinating science of human behavior, laughed about our shared moments of awkwardness, and got real about why true inclusion requires us to drop the polished corporate scripts. Dr. Carter brings a refreshing blend of research-backed clarity and vivid personal storytelling that makes you feel both deeply challenged and surprisingly hopeful. We talked about how bias sneaks into our everyday micro-behaviors, why the traditional business case for diversity falls flat, and how we can empower the next generation to stand firm in their values.
    • Unconscious Bias Leaks Into Physical and Social Spaces. Even when we do not consciously endorse biased beliefs, implicit social cognition leaks into our non-verbal behavior, influencing how we interact with others and navigate shared spaces. "Those feelings of disgust, those feelings of wariness come through in the way that we decide what we want to physically keep close to us or not. We often opt for comfort over discomfort."
    • Grounding DEI in Moral Conviction Over the Business Case. Relying solely on financial performance or corporate metrics to justify equity cheapens human dignity; true inclusion stems from a deep moral mandate to right historical wrongs. "I am not doing diversity, equity, and inclusion work because it is going to make a company more money. I am doing this work because I fundamentally believe the way that we collectively behaved as a society in our past was wrong, was immoral, and led to horrific outcomes..."
    • Standardizing Hiring and Promotion Systems to Block Bias. Organizations must create structured processes backed by objective criteria, rather than relying on subjective gut feelings or affinity bias that naturally favor dominant groups. "If we cannot structure a process around it, then what you have actually been calling 'I know it when I see it' is really just bias."
    • Nurturing the Next Generation's Natural Pursuit of Justice. Young people are keen observers of systemic injustice, and adults must lean into those candid discussions rather than stifling uncomfortable truths. "Don't just put your kid in front of that movie, have a conversation about the historical fiction that it depicted and the real-life story behind it. Use the media that they are watching and make it relevant for them."
    Actionable Takeaway. Replace vague culture fit metrics in your team's hiring and promotion decisions with concrete, objective criteria to eliminate implicit affinity bias and ensure equitable evaluation for every candidate. Follow Dr. Evelyn Carter's work here https://www.evelynrcarter.com/.
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    37 min
  • 366: Get Clear on Q4 Prioritization with Dr. Jolander Headley

    366: Get Clear on Q4 Prioritization with Dr. Jolander Headley
    Oct 11 2026
    By the time the fourth quarter rolls around, most of us in leadership are running on coffee, sheer willpower, and a quiet prayer that our calendars don't spontaneously combust. We rush to cross off every single goal set in January, regardless of whether our teams actually have the bandwidth left to carry it. In my latest chat with the incredible Dr. Jolander Headley, we unpacked why this year-end frenzy is a recipe for disaster and how we can lead with a lot more intention and a lot less chaotic exhaustion. We laughed about our own high-octane DISC profiles, because it turns out two driven, influential leaders in one room can produce some serious sparks, but the core message was clear: if you want to retain your best talent and build a workplace that actually lasts, you have to lead yourself first. That means taking a deep breath, dropping the perfectionism, and asking ourselves what truly matters before we ask our people to do one more thing. Key Themes Prioritization Starts with Self-Awareness: True alignment begins when leaders drop the denial and look inward to understand how their own behavior and blind spots impact the rest of the team. "You cannot improve what you refuse to acknowledge... If you can't lead yourself well, it's challenging to lead others well. So you want to lead yourself well. Start with self-awareness." Retention Decisions Are Made in Q4: The end of the year creates heightened anxiety and prompts employees to evaluate their career trajectories, making it critical for managers to reassess workloads rather than pushing teams to the breaking point. "As quarter four approaches, retention risks can increase. This is a time that leaders push their teams to accomplish every remaining annual goal that had been established, regardless of capacity, forcing burnout." Shift to Sustainable Performance Over Burnout Culture: Building an enduring organization requires sustainable leaders who create proactive burnout prevention models and focus on intrinsic motivators like autonomy and personal growth. "Employees will increasingly expect their organization to demonstrate that high performance can be maintained without chaotic exhaustion. We cannot build sustainable organizations without developing sustainable leaders." Prioritization Activities to Do with Your Team: Managers need to create space for intentional recalibration, such as evaluating team bandwidth, throwing "stay celebrations" to recognize current value, and carrying non-critical tasks into the next year. "The idea of a stay party is that you're giving the flowers while they're still there. Eelebrating the progress of the organization without being complacent." Actionable Takeaway for Listeners: Set aside 60 minutes this week for a Q4 Priority & Capacity Audit with your team: review every remaining annual goal together, identify who is quietly becoming the go-to person for everything, and explicitly choose at least one low-impact project to pause or carry over into the new year. Follow Dr. Jolander Headley at https://jolanderheadley.com/
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    26 min