Why “just do as you’re told” doesn’t work — and what to do instead.

If you're a caregiver, teacher or parent exhausted by difficult behaviour, this episode is for you.

In this solo episode, Andy Baker (behaviour specialist, author, and trainer) challenges the outdated scripts we've inherited around control, punishment, and compliance — and shares a powerful mindset shift that actually works.

From his own story of being mugged at knifepoint to practical insights for managing aggression, defiance, or withdrawal, Andy explores how a person-centred, trauma-informed approach to behaviour support can improve outcomes for everyone — including you.

Whether you work in a care home, a classroom or your own home, this episode helps you move from reactivity to reflection, from “what’s wrong with you?” to “what’s going on for you?”

• Book: Targeting the Positive: With Behaviours That Challenge by Andy Baker

• Able Training: www.able-training.co.uk/podcast

1. Challenging behaviour is subjective – what we find difficult often says more about us than the person we’re supporting.

2. Old logic harms connection – the “do as you’re told” mindset leads to fear, shutdown or escalation.

3. New logic builds trust – curiosity, empathy, and focusing on needs (not punishment) create better outcomes for everyone.

• 00:00 – The problem with “just being difficult”

• 01:20 – Andy’s story: being mugged, fear, and the start of a career in behaviour

• 02:00 – What does “challenging behaviour” actually mean?

• 04:00 – Subjectivity, values, and why we label behaviour

• 06:00 – Task-focused vs. person-centred: why we get stuck

• 07:30 – The pause: learning to respond, not react

• 09:00 – From punishment to curiosity: the ‘new logic’ in behaviour

• 11:00 – The danger of “should” and “must” scripts

• 12:00 – Maladaptive vs. disliked behaviour

• 13:00 – The cultural lens: are our expectations even right?

• 14:00 – 3 mindset shifts to start using tomorrow

• 15:10 – How “Targeting the Positive” can help you become the weatherman of behaviour

If you’ve ever thought “why won’t they just behave?” — you’re not alone. This episode gives you a practical, mindset-shifting framework that moves beyond punishment and helps you better support children, adults, or anyone with distressed or confusing behaviour. It’s compassionate, empowering, and refreshingly honest.

In this vital conversation, I’m joined by Ben Gyles, co-founder of Urban Nest Property Solutions and The Housing Partnership Forum, to tackle the growing gap between housing and care. Ben shares his personal connection to council housing, his work supporting care providers and councils, and how housing shortages and visa changes are creating a chokehold on care delivery across the UK.

Whether you’re a parent, teacher or caregiver, this episode sheds light on how stable, trauma-informed housing isn’t just about bricks and mortar – it’s about creating safety, healing and dignity for those we support.

1. Care Needs a Roof: Housing is not just a backdrop to care delivery – it’s a fundamental part of it. Without suitable homes, care packages are delayed, disjointed or completely unworkable.

2. The System is Reacting, Not Planning: Providers, councils, and landlords are trapped in reactive firefighting. We need better communication, forward planning and strategic housing pipelines to meet future care needs.

3. Homes Can Heal: Trauma-informed environments matter. With insight from his partner, therapist Silvia Costa, Ben shares how thoughtful design can support mental wellbeing and long-term recovery.

• 00:00 – What happens when care is approved, but there's nowhere to go?

• 02:00 – Delayed discharge and the £2bn cost of nowhere-to-go patients

• 05:00 – The impact of housing shortages on small care providers

• 10:00 – The missing link: communication breakdown between councils, landlords and providers

• 20:00 – How Urban Nest is bridging the gap with property pipelines

• 25:00 – Visa changes, staff shortages and housing as recruitment infrastructure

• 30:00 – How trauma-informed design transforms housing into healing

• 35:00 – Advice for caregivers and advocates struggling with housing support

• 40:00 – Behaviour, stability and the ripple effect of insecure housing on families and schools

• 45:00 – What councils and government could change today

• 50:00 – The Housing Partnership Forum – a new space for collaboration

• The Housing Partnership Forum: Join on LinkedIn

• Ben & Silvia on LinkedIn: Ben and Silvia

• Your Local Guardian Article: Urban Nest launched to save Croydon's forgotten homes

• Targeting the Positive (Book) by Andy Baker: Find it on Amazon

If you work in care, education or support families in any way, this episode will challenge how you think about housing. Ben Gyles offers a fresh, solutions-focused perspective on how to overcome housing barriers in care – from planning better homes to understanding trauma-informed design. It’s a conversation packed with heart, real-world examples, and practical hope.

In this powerful solo episode of Able to Care, Andy Baker – behaviour specialist, author, trainer and speaker – explores one of the most transformative frameworks in person-centred support: the Six C’s of Preventative Wellbeing.

Too often, we fight fires instead of fireproofing. Whether you're a parent trying to reduce meltdowns, a carer supporting someone in distress, or a teacher dealing with disengagement, this episode reframes the problem: It’s not just about reacting to behaviour – it’s about creating environments where the behaviour doesn’t need to happen.

Andy introduces the Six C’s – Comfort, Consistency, Connection, Choice, Competency, and Challenge – and explains how each one contributes to better outcomes for those we support, and for ourselves. Grounded in trauma-informed practice, psychological safety, and real-world experience, this model gives carers and professionals a clear, compassionate roadmap for prevention and wellbeing.

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• Targeting the Positive – Andy Baker’s book exploring proactive and person-centred behaviour support.

• Able Training – The Target System – Learn more about the framework featured in this episode.

1. Preventative wellbeing is proactive, not reactive. When we build safety, predictability, and purpose into environments, we reduce distress – and therefore, behaviour that challenges.

2. The Six C’s aren’t just theory – they’re culture. Comfort, Consistency, Connection, Choice, Competency, and Challenge must be embedded into everyday life, not just stuck on a poster.

3. You can’t thrive in fight-or-flight. Until people feel safe, they cannot learn, relate, or grow. Support must begin with emotional safety.

• 00:00 – Why Firefighting Doesn’t Work

• 01:40 – The Six C’s Explained

• 02:53 – What is Preventative Wellbeing?

• 04:28 – Comfort: Psychological and Physical Safety

• 07:17 – Consistency: The Quiet Rhythm of Trust

• 09:49 – Connection: The Gateway to Regulation

• 11:11 – Choice: Autonomy and Dignity in Action

• 13:17 – Competency: Building Self-Esteem Through Mastery

• 15:11 – Challenge: Stretching Without Overwhelming

• 17:00 – How to Use the Six C’s in Practice

• 19:13 – From Compliance to Culture

• 19:50 – Final Thoughts and a Call to Reflect

• You’re a parent who wants less shouting and more connection

• You’re a teacher frustrated by behaviour but unsure what’s beneath it

• You’re a carer trying to create calm, not just contain chaos

• You’re a leader looking to reduce burnout and improve wellbeing

This episode helps you see support differently – not as a response to behaviour, but as an opportunity to shape it before it ever appears.