in this episode, we’re talking about the fear of weight gain — and why you can’t just “get over it.”

if you’ve ever thought i want recovery, but i can’t handle my body changing, this episode is for you.

we unpack why weight gain can feel like danger (not just discomfort), how avoidance wires fear, and why waiting to feel “okay” before taking action keeps people stuck for years.

i also want to name this clearly: i recovered into a smaller body, and that comes with privilege. my experience is not universal. the fear, however, is something many of us share — and it deserves compassion, not shame.

in this episode, we cover:

• why weight gain fear feels paralyzing, not superficial
  
  
  
• how avoidance makes food and body change feel unsafe
  
  
  
• the identity layer behind the fear (being “the small one,” the disciplined one, the acceptable one)
  
  
  
• thinness as protection in a cruel culture
  
  
  
• why you can’t think your way out of this fear
  
  
  
• why exposure — not confidence — is what actually reduces fear
  
  
  
• why body neutrality is a win (you don’t need body love to recover)
  
  
  
• the moment i accidentally saw my weight years into recovery — and what it taught me
  
  
  

takeaway i want you to sit with:

you don’t have to want your body to change.
you don’t have to feel ready.
you don’t have to love your body.

actually, recovery happens when you do it afraid.

fear in one hand. fork in the other.

if this episode brought up insight, familiarity, or emotion — i’d love to hear from you. dm me or leave a comment wherever you’re listening. this podcast is a conversation.

follow along on instagram: @recoverwithchloe

Creators + resources:

i’m linking a few creators and clinicians i deeply respect who speak about recovery, body change, and weight stigma from perspectives beyond my own — including diverse body sizes, racial identities, and queer experiences:

• shira rosenbluth, lcsw — eating disorder therapist speaking openly about recovery into a larger body
  
  
  
• dr. rachel millner — body trust provider focusing on fear, safety, and weight stigma
  
  
  
• food psych podcast (christy harrison) — recovery, culture, and weight stigma conversations
  
  
  
• sonya renee taylor — body liberation through racial justice and collective healing
  
  
  
• megan jayne crabbe — lived recovery experience and body change narratives

in this episode, i share my eating disorder + recovery story — but not in the “before/after, numbers, shock value” way. i’m not here to give you content you can compare yourself to. i’m here to give you context, meaning, and the parts that actually matter.

i talk about the early moments where body awareness and objectification started showing up way before food did, how perfectionism and high achievement shaped my brain, and how passion (for me: musical theatre) quietly morphed into an eating disorder before i even realized what was happening.

this episode is about the function of the eating disorder — not just what it looked like.

important note before you listen

i do not share weights, numbers, behavior details, or “sick photos.” my goal is for you to leave feeling less alone, not more activated.

in this episode, we cover:

• the earliest body memory i can still remember (and why it mattered)
• how objectification and “being perceived” can wire body shame early
• perfectionism: not the drive to achieve — the fear of failing
• passion + obsession: how a “good trait” can become a risk factor
• the perfect storm: temperament + stress + environment (college, change, isolation)
• how my eating disorder became intertwined with identity and performance
• the moment i realized i had achieved my dream… and felt trapped by it
• how the eating disorder functioned like an escape hatch (and why that’s so hard to let go of)
• what actually helped: support, treatment, and building a life i didn’t need to be saved from
• the question i want you to sit with: what is your eating disorder doing for you?

sponsor / resources mentioned

if you want real tools (not just insight), Recovery Skills Training is my step-by-step program that teaches the skills of recovery: food guilt, fear, identity, internal leadership, exercise, real-life situations, and more.

get $57 off with code PODCAST:
https://recoverwithchloe.thrivecart.com/recovery-skills-training/

follow along on instagram: @recoverwithchloe (instagram.com/recoverwithchloe)

timestamps
00:00 intro + how i’m sharing this safely
02:34 why “ed storytime” can be harmful
06:06 early body awareness
12:27 perfectionism + high achievement
15:12 passion → disorder
18:47 the perfect storm in college
25:04 broadway + identity crisis
30:15 the eating disorder as an emergency exit
32:54 treatment + recovery
37:34 the questions
39:12 closing thoughts

if anything in this episode brings up insight, familiarity, or emotion — i’d love to hear from you. comment wherever you’re listening, or DM me your thoughts. your story matters too.

welcome to the first episode of recovered-ish.

in this episode, i share why i started this podcast, what recovered-ish actually means, and why the idea of “full recovery” isn’t as clear-cut as we’re often told.

i’m 30 years old, over a decade into eating disorder recovery, and both a therapist and recovery coach. if you asked me today whether i’m fully recovered, my answer wouldn’t be a simple yes or no — and that nuance is exactly what this episode explores.

this conversation focuses on the messy middle of recovery. the part that rarely gets talked about. the years where life expands and gets more meaningful, while food and body thoughts can still show up.

in this episode, we cover:

• why i named this podcast recovered-ish
• why recovery isn’t linear and doesn’t have one finish line
• the pressure to be “fully recovered” and how it can backfire
• how perfectionism sneaks into recovery
• redefining recovery in a way that’s sustainable and real
• what progress actually looks like without chasing perfection

sponsor / resources mentioned

if this episode resonates and you want more structure, tools, and support, check out Recovery Skills Training — my step-by-step program that teaches the practical skills of eating disorder recovery.

get $57 off with code PODCAST:
https://recoverwithchloe.thrivecart.com/recovery-skills-training/

timestamps

00:00 intro to recovered-ish
00:25 why i started this podcast
02:20 the reality of eating disorder recovery
03:15 is full recovery even possible?
05:24 my personal recovery journey
11:44 perfectionism in recovery
15:05 redefining what recovery means
20:16 learning to stay in the process
29:11 final thoughts + what’s next

follow along on instagram: @recoverwithchloe

if you’ve ever felt stuck in the in-between or questioned whether you’re doing recovery “right,” this episode is for you.