There’s a specific kind of frustration that shows up for high-capacity leaders.

You know what you want.
You’ve thought it through.
You’ve made the decision consciously.

And yet… you still hesitate.
You still circle the same choice.
You still feel slower than you “should” be.

In this episode, I name what’s actually happening and it’s not procrastination, fear, or self-sabotage.

It’s something I call identity lag.

Identity lag happens when your life starts moving faster than your nervous system can comfortably integrate. Your mind may be clear, but your body is still catching up to who you’re becoming.

In this conversation, I share:

• Why feeling “stuck” is often a sign of integration, not failure

• How high-capacity leaders experience identity lag more intensely

• The difference between intuition and nervous system stress

• Why clarity isn’t always the missing piece — and what actually is

• How shifting from self-monitoring to leadership and contribution can unlock movement again

I also share personal stories from my own life — moments when everything was aligned on paper, yet my nervous system reacted with hesitation and fatigue right before stepping into something meaningful.

If you’ve ever told yourself:

• “I should be past this by now”

• “Why does this feel harder than it should?”

• “What’s wrong with me?”

This episode is here to gently take the pressure off.

Nothing is wrong with you.
You’re not behind.
Your system may simply be integrating a new level of responsibility, visibility, or truth.

And that deserves support — not force.

• 🧭 Free Energy Audit: https://www.brendawinkle.com/audit
• 🌊 The Intuitive Leader Retreat (March 3–5, 2026 | Lincoln City, OR): https://www.brendawinkle.com/retreat2026
• 🌱 The Spiritual CEO Community: https://www.skool.com/thespiritualceo/about
• The Elixir - https://www.brendawinkle.com/elixir

If this episode resonates, I’d love to hear from you.
Send me a message on Instagram, TikTok, or Facebook or leave a rating and review on Apple Podcasts to help this work reach more leaders who need it.

Keywords: Brenda Winkle, Your Yes Filled Life, identity lag, leadership guide, psychic medium, somatic coach, ambitious leaders, emotional patterns, behavioral patterns, high-capacity individuals, nervous system response, integration, decision-making, personal growth, health improvements, self-monitoring, outward service, contribution, leadership, emotional regulation tools, The Elixir, Intuitive Leader Retreat, identity transformation, community building, inner child work, protector parts, vision clarification, transformation process, patience, self-compassion, podcast community, Apple Podcasts, review and rating, embodying gifts, yes-filled lives.

Sometimes the exact thing you want - more leadership, more impact, a bigger decision, a new season - can make you feel anxious, exhausted, frozen, or unusually triggered.

That doesn’t mean you’re failing.
It often means you’re in identity lag and your nervous system is activated.

In this episode, I break down why growth can feel heavy even when you’re ready, how to tell the difference between intuition and stress responses, and what to do so you can keep moving without self-betrayal.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Why “I feel scared, so it’s not aligned” is often a misread

• What identity lag is (and why it can make you tired)

• The difference between fear, avoidance, and a stress response

• Why strategy works when identity is stable (and backfires when it’s not)

• The 3 supports that create real identity integration:

  1. regulation

  2. mirroring

  3. spacious, embodied decisions

If growth is making you tired, edgy, emotional, or frozen—nothing is wrong with you. Your body is prioritizing safety during change. And with the right support, you can stabilize into who you’re becoming.

Intuitive Leader Retreat (March 3–5, 2026 | Lincoln City, Oregon)
A small, embodied container for nervous system regulation, identity integration, and real-time mirroring.
➡️ https://www.brendawinkle.com/retreat2026

The Elixir ($77 on-demand)
14 short, powerful tools (3–6 minutes each) for real-time emotional + nervous system regulation.
➡️ https://www.brendawinkle.com/elixir

Ongoing community: The Spiritual CEO membership
Weekly support to lead your life + business with steadiness, ethics, and connection.
➡️ https://www.skool.com/thespiritualceo/about

Free: Download the Energy Audit
➡️ https://www.brendawinkle.com/audit

Keywords: nervous system regulation, identity shift, identity lag, somatic coaching, emotional regulation, freeze response, overthinking, people pleasing, intuitive leadership, spiritual entrepreneur, embodied decision making

Identity isn’t something you “figure out.” It’s something you shift into. In this episode, Brenda breaks down four practical ways identity actually changes - not through mindset hacks or pressure, but through embodiment, nervous system safety, and self-trust.

If you’ve done the training, earned the credentials, and still feel like you’re negotiating with yourself to move forward… this episode will land.

You’ll learn why identity shifts can feel so destabilizing, how child parts and protector parts quietly shape your decisions, and what actually helps you step into the version of yourself you already know is emerging.

In this episode, we explore:

• Why identity change can feel threatening to the nervous system
• The concept of secondary gain (what you may be unconsciously protecting)
• How clothing, roles, and self-permission reinforce identity Child parts vs. protector parts -and how they impact confidence and visibility
• Why you don’t need one income stream to be “legitimate” How turning the spotlight outward makes identity shifts easier
• What internal safety has to do with decision-making Why over-consuming information can stall momentum

Ways to go deeper:

The Elixir – 14 on-demand somatic tools for emotional regulation https://www.brendawinkle.com/elixir

Intuitive Leader Retreat (March 3–5, 2026 | Oregon Coast) https://www.brendawinkle.com/retreat2026

Spiritual CEO Membership https://www.skool.com/thespiritualceo/about

Free Clarity Guide – discern next steps and mentorship alignment

Free Energy Audit: brendawinkle.com/audit

Keywords: Brenda Winkle, Your Yes Filled Life, podcast, leadership guide, psychic medium, somatic coach, identity transformation, shifting identity, personal growth, coaching, entrepreneurial identity, secondary gain, self-inquiry, physical appearance, clothing, identity fluidity, multiple roles, income streams, Internal Family Systems, child parts, protector parts, emotional healing, nervous system regulation, somatic coaching, Intuitive Leader Retreat, spiritual entrepreneurs, self-acceptance, internal dialogue, self-compassion, identity integration, authentic self, emotional regulation, Spiritual CEO membership, personal narrative, psychological insights, mindset shift, overcoming barriers, coaching industry perceptions, self-worth, community recognition, professional identity, self-discovery, personal narrative, listener engagement, podcast growth, self-empowerment, compassionate engagement.