Your Parenting Mojo - Respectful, research-based parenting ideas to help kids thrive copertina

Your Parenting Mojo - Respectful, research-based parenting ideas to help kids thrive

Your Parenting Mojo - Respectful, research-based parenting ideas to help kids thrive

Di: Jen Lumanlan
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A proposito di questo titolo

 Parenting is hard…but does it have to be this hard? Wouldn’t it be better if your kids would stop pressing your buttons quite as often, and if there was a little more of you to go around (with maybe even some left over for yourself)? On the Your Parenting Mojo podcast, Jen Lumanlan M.S., M.Ed explores academic research on parenting and child development. But she doesn’t just tell you the results of the latest study - she interviews researchers at the top of their fields, and puts current information in the context of the decades of work that have come before it. An average episode reviews ~30 peer-reviewed sources, and analyzes how the research fits into our culture and values - she does all the work, so you don’t have to! Jen is the author of Parenting Beyond Power: How to Use Connection & Collaboration to Transform Your Family - and the World (Sasquatch/Penguin Random House). The podcast draws on the ideas from the book to give you practical, realistic strategies to get beyond today’s whack-a-mole of issues. Your Parenting Mojo also offers workshops and memberships to give you more support in implementing the ideas you hear on the show. The single idea that underlies all of the episodes is that our behavior is our best attempt to meet our needs. Your Parenting Mojo will help you to see through the confusing messages your child’s behavior is sending so you can parent with confidence: You’ll go from: “I don’t want to yell at you!” to “I’ve got a plan.” New episodes are released every other week - there's content for parents who have a baby on the way through kids of middle school age. Start listening now by exploring the rich library of episodes on meltdowns, sibling conflicts, parental burnout, screen time, eating vegetables, communication with your child - and your partner… and much much more!Jen Lumanlan - M.S., M.Ed Genitorialità e famiglie Relazioni
Episodi
  • 259: Understanding Why Your Child Hits (And What Actually Helps)

    259: Understanding Why Your Child Hits (And What Actually Helps)
    Feb 16 2026
    When your three-year-old hits you, their sibling, or another child, it's easy to feel frustrated, embarrassed, or even angry. You might wonder if this challenging behavior means something is wrong with your child or your parenting. In this episode, I help you see hitting in a completely different way. Instead of viewing it as a problem to eliminate, we'll explore what your child is trying to communicate through their actions. You'll discover how hitting is often your child's attempt to meet important needs when they don't yet have the words or skills to do it differently. This shift in perspective changes everything about how you respond. Most advice about hitting focuses on consequences, time-outs, or behavior charts. But these approaches miss what's really happening. In this episode, I walk you through real examples from parents dealing with hitting, and show you how to identify the feelings and needs driving the behavior. If you're not sure where to start with identifying your child's needs, this quick quiz can help you figure out which needs might be going unmet. You'll learn practical strategies for helping your child develop replacement behaviors for hitting that actually meet their needs. Whether your child hits when they're frustrated, overwhelmed, or seeking connection, you'll leave with tools to support them while also taking care of yourself and keeping everyone safe. Questions this episode will answer Is it normal for 3 year olds to hit? Yes, hitting is common in early childhood. Three-year-olds are still developing language skills and emotional regulation, so they often use physical actions to communicate feelings or meet needs they can't express in words yet. What is a replacement behavior for hitting? Replacement behaviors depend on what need your child is trying to meet. If they're seeking sensory input, alternatives might include squeezing play dough or pushing against a wall. If they're expressing frustration, they might learn to stomp their feet or use simple words like "I'm mad!" How do I get my 3 year old to stop hitting? Focus on understanding the feelings and needs behind the hitting rather than just stopping the behavior. Help your child identify what they're feeling, figure out what need they're trying to meet, and practice new ways to meet that need that work for everyone. Is it normal for a 3 year old to be very aggressive? Frequent hitting or other challenging behavior in early childhood often signals that your child has important unmet needs. This doesn't mean something is wrong with them. It means they need support learning new strategies to meet their needs. How do you teach children to communicate their needs? Start by helping your child recognize and name their feelings using simple...
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    28 min
  • RE-RELEASE: Parental Burnout: Is Your Exhaustion Affecting Your Children?

    RE-RELEASE: Parental Burnout: Is Your Exhaustion Affecting Your Children?
    Feb 9 2026
    Are you exhausted in a way that sleep doesn't fix? Do you find yourself more irritable with your children than you ever imagined possible? You might be experiencing parental burnout and you're far from alone. In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Moïra Mikolajczak, one of the world's leading researchers on parental burnout, along with listener Kelly, who shares her raw, honest experience of burning out while raising her young daughter. Dr. Mikolajczak reveals groundbreaking research showing that parents in burnout have cortisol levels twice as high as other parents - even higher than people suffering from chronic pain or experiencing marital abuse. We explore why Western parents are at such high risk compared to parents in other cultures, what happens when the pressure to be a "perfect parent" collides with isolation and lack of support, and most importantly, what actually works for recovery. Kelly opens up about the moment she had a complete breakdown far from home, unable to even find her way to a train station, and the seven-month journey that followed. If you've ever felt like you're racing through life unable to stop, or wondered whether your exhaustion is affecting your children, this episode offers both validation and a path forward. Questions This Episode Will Answer What is parental burnout? Parental burnout is an exhaustion disorder where parents feel completely depleted by their parenting role. It includes four main symptoms: extreme exhaustion that doesn't improve with sleep, emotional distancing from your children, loss of pleasure in parenting, and a painful contrast between the parent you are now and the parent you wanted to be. What are the symptoms of parental burnout? The clearest warning signs are fatigue that persists despite adequate sleep and increased irritability, especially when you're with your children but not at work. Parents may experience mood swings, feel unable to recognize themselves, struggle with violent feelings toward their children, or completely lose confidence as a parent. How does parental burnout affect children? When parents reach the emotional distancing stage of burnout, it can lead to either neglect, violence (verbal or physical), or both. However, the impact on children can be reduced significantly if the other parent or a support person can compensate by providing consistent care and emotional presence. What causes parental burnout? Parental burnout results from a severe imbalance between parenting stressors and resources. Key risk factors include parental perfectionism, low emotional competence, poor co-parenting quality, inconsistent parenting practices, lack of leisure time, and the intense pressure in Western cultures to be a "perfect parent" while managing everything alone. How is parental burnout different from job burnout? While both involve exhaustion, they occur in different contexts. Job burnout centers on work exhaustion and distance from work beneficiaries, while parental burnout involves exhaustion from parenting and emotional distance from your children. You can have one without the other - in fact, many burned-out parents escape into their work. What does parental burnout feel like? Parents describe feeling like they've reached the end of their tether just thinking about what they need to do for their children. One parent in this episode describes racing forward like a heavy train that couldn't be stopped, then experiencing a complete collapse where she couldn't get out of bed, seemed physically sick, and had no energy despite having been fine the day before. How do you recover from parental burnout? Recovery requires two things: being heard in a truly non-judgmental way, and rebalancing...
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    1 ora e 2 min
  • Episode Summary 08: What Is Collaborative Parenting? Real Parent Story

    Episode Summary 08: What Is Collaborative Parenting? Real Parent Story
    Feb 2 2026
    When you started parenting, you probably had ideas about the kind of parent you wanted to be. Maybe you imagined patient bedtimes and peaceful mornings. Then reality hit, and you found yourself doing things you swore you'd never do. Parent Maile Grace knows this feeling well. In this conversation, she shares how her parenting values have shifted since her daughter was born. She talks about moving away from strategies like timeouts that seemed to work in the moment but didn't align with what she truly wanted for her relationship with her child. You'll hear how she supports her kids when they're fighting instead of jumping in to fix everything, and why building connections with neighbors matters more to her now than having a perfectly organized home. If you've ever wondered whether collaborative parenting actually works in real life, this episode gives you a peek into one family's experience. Questions this episode will answer What is collaborative parenting? Collaborative parenting means working with your child to solve problems instead of using punishments or rewards to control their behavior. It involves understanding what your child is struggling with and finding solutions that work for everyone. What are parenting values? Parenting values are the principles that guide how you want to raise your children and the kind of relationships you want to build with them. They often include things like respect, connection, autonomy, and understanding. How do children solve problems? Children learn problem-solving skills when adults support them through conflicts rather than immediately fixing things. They practice identifying their own feelings and what matters to them, then working together to find solutions. What is collaborative problem solving? Collaborative problem solving is an approach where parents help children navigate challenges by exploring what's hard for everyone involved and creating solutions together, rather than imposing consequences or rewards. How much sibling fighting is normal? Sibling conflicts are a regular part of childhood. Instead of trying to eliminate fighting completely, parents can focus on supporting children through these moments to help them develop problem-solving and relationship skills. Why is parent collaboration important? When parents work collaboratively with children, kids learn to understand their own feelings and what matters to them. This approach builds stronger relationships and helps children develop skills they'll use throughout their lives. What you'll learn in this episode
    1. How one parent's values shifted from wanting a "well-behaved" child to prioritizing connection and understanding
    2. Why some common parenting strategies work in the short term but can damage relationships over time
    3. A real example of how collaborative problem-solving looks when siblings are fighting
    4. How to support children in working through conflicts without immediately stepping in to fix things
    5. What it means to let go of trying to control your child's behavior
    6. Why building neighborhood connections became a higher priority than maintaining a perfectly organized home
    7. The difference between parenting strategies that change behavior and approaches that build skills and relationships

    Taming Your Triggers If you see that your relationship with your child isn’t where you want it to be because you:
    • Speak to them in a tone or...
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    28 min
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