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You Are Not Crazy

You Are Not Crazy

Di: Jessica Knight
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You know something is wrong. You just can’t always explain what it is.

Why do you keep apologizing when you didn’t do anything wrong? Why can one nice interaction make you question months of mistreatment? Why do you rehearse conversations before you have them? Why are you still trying to make someone understand you when explaining yourself has never worked? Why does every individual incident sound small when the pattern has changed your entire life?


You Are Not Crazy is a podcast about making sense of the relationship experiences that don’t make sense.


I’m Jessica Knight, an emotional abuse coach and survivor. I take the confusing, contradictory, often ordinary-looking moments inside emotional abuse, coercive control, trauma bonds, narcissistic relationships, and high-conflict separation and slow them down so we can understand what is actually happening.


We look beyond labels and individual incidents to the patterns underneath them: what a behavior does, what it gets you to do in response, what happens when you resist it, and what you eventually learn to believe about yourself.

Because emotional abuse doesn’t only hurt. It can change the way you communicate, make decisions, respond to conflict, interpret other people’s behavior, and trust your own perception.


Here, we talk about gaslighting, manipulation, trauma bonding, intermittent reinforcement, coercive control, high-conflict divorce, post-separation abuse, difficult co-parenting dynamics, and the process of rebuilding self-trust after a relationship that taught you to doubt yourself.


But this isn’t a podcast about diagnosing every difficult person or telling you that every conflict is abuse. It’s about understanding the pattern.


What happened? What did it make you do? Why did your response make sense at the time? And what changes once you can finally see the mechanism underneath it?


You are not crazy. There is an explanation.

Let’s find it.


Learn more about Jessica’s work and resources at emotionalabusecoach.com.

© 2026 You Are Not Crazy Igiene e vita sana Psicologia Psicologia e salute mentale Relazioni Scienze sociali Successo personale Sviluppo personale
Episodi
  • Why People With Personality Disorders Rarely See Their Own Harm

    Why People With Personality Disorders Rarely See Their Own Harm
    Oct 21 2026

    In this episode, I break down something that confuses almost everyone who has loved a person with personality pathology. We assume that if someone caused real harm, some part of them would know it. I explain why that assumption is usually wrong, and what impaired self-awareness actually looks like from the inside of a disordered mind. I walk through the defense mechanisms that protect a person from ever feeling the shame that would normally lead to change, including denial, minimization, and projection. I also talk about why explaining yourself or providing evidence rarely works, even when your reasoning is airtight. If you've ever wondered how someone could cause so much pain and still seem to feel fine, this episode will help you understand the psychology behind it.

    Support the show

    *Please Note: there is a long intro that explains my services. If you do not want to listen, just fast-forward 5 mins past. This intro will be changed in future recordings to be shorter. I am not paid to record this podcast and it is a free offering. Offering my work is the only way I can sustain the podcast*

    Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy

    *New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship

    Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
    Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
    Email: jessica@jessicaknightcoaching.com

    {Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse


    {E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
    {Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
    {Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner
    Mostra di più Mostra meno
    15 min
  • The Cost of Being Someone Else's Nervous System

    The Cost of Being Someone Else's Nervous System
    Oct 16 2026

    I'm sharing a pattern from my own past relationship with a partner who had borderline traits, the slow erosion of any separate identity, where a walk to pick up my daughter became a negotiation and a boundary became proof I didn't love him. I break down why explaining yourself never works in this dynamic, what I call the "fake repair" cycle, and why mapping the pattern on paper changed everything for me. I also talk about why healing sometimes means accepting you'll be the villain in someone else's story.

    Support the show

    *Please Note: there is a long intro that explains my services. If you do not want to listen, just fast-forward 5 mins past. This intro will be changed in future recordings to be shorter. I am not paid to record this podcast and it is a free offering. Offering my work is the only way I can sustain the podcast*

    Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy

    *New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship

    Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
    Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
    Email: jessica@jessicaknightcoaching.com

    {Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse


    {E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
    {Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
    {Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner
    Mostra di più Mostra meno
    12 min
  • Knowing Your Pattern Isn't the Same as Changing It, with Stefanos Sifandos

    Knowing Your Pattern Isn't the Same as Changing It, with Stefanos Sifandos
    Oct 14 2026

    I've been listening to Stefanos Sifandos for years, long before this podcast existed. I first came across him through Mark Groves during the stretch of my life when I was busy diagnosing everyone around me, and something he said pushed me to flip the question from why this person does what they do to why I keep attracting people like them. I still have the notebook where I wrote it down. When I told him about it, he added a second question that landed even harder: why do I stick around?

    In this episode we talk about the ideas in his book, Tuned In and Turned On (Hay House). Stefanos explains what he calls the delusion of awareness, which is the belief that being able to recite your pattern and trace it back to your childhood means you've done something about it. We get into how he defines a trauma bond and why intense sexual chemistry so often keeps those relationships going, including the fight-and-make-up cycle that feels like repair but never actually produces any. He also explains why wounds that formed in relationship have to be worked through in relationship, and what a small first step looks like for someone who is using work to avoid an unhappy home.

    I asked him how he works with a couple when only one person is willing to look at themselves. His answer was "with great difficulty," and I was honestly relieved to hear it, because it matches what I've seen.

    You can find his book at tunedinandturnedonbook.com and apply to coach with him at coachwithstef.com. He and his wife, Christine Hassler, run Be The Queen, a three-and-a-half-month program for single women that begins in late October, with a free webinar series beforehand.

    Be The Queen Program: https://to102.isrefer.com/go/lm/a295/?utm_source=partner&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_campaign=a295

    Support the show

    *Please Note: there is a long intro that explains my services. If you do not want to listen, just fast-forward 5 mins past. This intro will be changed in future recordings to be shorter. I am not paid to record this podcast and it is a free offering. Offering my work is the only way I can sustain the podcast*

    Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy

    *New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship

    Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
    Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
    Email: jessica@jessicaknightcoaching.com

    {Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse


    {E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
    {Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
    {Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner
    Mostra di più Mostra meno
    54 min
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