I've been listening to Stefanos Sifandos for years, long before this podcast existed. I first came across him through Mark Groves during the stretch of my life when I was busy diagnosing everyone around me, and something he said pushed me to flip the question from why this person does what they do to why I keep attracting people like them. I still have the notebook where I wrote it down. When I told him about it, he added a second question that landed even harder: why do I stick around?

In this episode we talk about the ideas in his book, Tuned In and Turned On (Hay House). Stefanos explains what he calls the delusion of awareness, which is the belief that being able to recite your pattern and trace it back to your childhood means you've done something about it. We get into how he defines a trauma bond and why intense sexual chemistry so often keeps those relationships going, including the fight-and-make-up cycle that feels like repair but never actually produces any. He also explains why wounds that formed in relationship have to be worked through in relationship, and what a small first step looks like for someone who is using work to avoid an unhappy home.

I asked him how he works with a couple when only one person is willing to look at themselves. His answer was "with great difficulty," and I was honestly relieved to hear it, because it matches what I've seen.

You can find his book at tunedinandturnedonbook.com and apply to coach with him at coachwithstef.com. He and his wife, Christine Hassler, run Be The Queen, a three-and-a-half-month program for single women that begins in late October, with a free webinar series beforehand.

Be The Queen Program: https://to102.isrefer.com/go/lm/a295/?utm_source=partner&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_campaign=a295

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*Please Note: there is a long intro that explains my services. If you do not want to listen, just fast-forward 5 mins past. This intro will be changed in future recordings to be shorter. I am not paid to record this podcast and it is a free offering. Offering my work is the only way I can sustain the podcast*

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Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
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Email: jessica@jessicaknightcoaching.com

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