On this week's episode I'm excited to chat with Dr. Carol Shilliday, a clinical psychologist, IFS assistant trainer, and author of the new book Inside ADHD: An Internal Family Systems Workbook to Understand Your Parts and Emotionally Thrive. We discuss ADHD, shame, acceptance, and keeping a spare set of keys.

Takeaways

• Is it brain wiring or parts? Yes. IFS lets us stay curious instead of picking one
• "Am I ADHD enough?" Not struggling as much as someone else doesn't mean you're not struggling
• The compensation and anxiety link
• Traits that come with ADHD get labeled as character flaws: lazy, too much, not enough
• Overachievers, perfectionists, and maskers often polarize with parts that burn out or give up
• Strategies don't stick until there's acceptance
• Healing the shame makes room for what works
• Low estrogen lowers dopamine, so hormones amplify ADHD for women
• Advice for partners and mixed neurotype relationships
• Opportunties to learn from Carol

Join Carol in February 2027 for IFS and ADHD: Clarity and Healing, a two-day online workshop focused on working with ADHD clients in neuroaffirming ways.

Find Carol
Website

Book

About Carol
Carol Shilliday, PsyD, is a licensed clinical psychologist with over three decades of experience. She is an IFS assistant trainer, Level 3 certified IFS therapist, and IFS approved clinical consultant who specializes in working with adults with ADHD. She runs groups for IFS therapists and practitioners with ADHD and for those who want to lead their own IFS groups. She is the author of Inside ADHD: An Internal Family Systems Workbook to Understand Your Parts and Emotionally Thrive.

Episode Sponsor
This episode is sponsored by Souliology. Souliology offers retreats and immersive learning experiences for IFS professionals, many led by IFS Senior Lead Trainers and eligible for continuing education credits. Their programs support deep professional and personal growth, offering space to step away from the demands of daily life so you can return to your practice more present and resourced for the clients you serve. Souliology: Where growth meets depth. Learn more at souliology.com

About The One Inside

I started this podcast to help spread IFS out into the world and make the model more accessible to everyone. Eight years later, that's still at the heart of all we do.

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I co-create The One Inside with Jeff Schrum, a writer, producer, and IFS Level 2 practitioner who helps therapists, coaches, and teachers shape and share their story.

Resources

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Sponsorship

Want to sponsor an episode of The One Inside? Email Tammy.