In this episode, we talk about what it really means to stay connected — to your partner, to your friends, and to yourself — especially when life gets busy, overwhelming, or isolating.

We unpack how some people struggle with being part of a community and disguise that discomfort as "not wanting community" at all. The fear of closeness, accountability, and emotional presence — and how disconnection can quietly become a defense mechanism.

Kelsi reflects on realizing she can sometimes come off mean or distant, not because she doesn't care, but because she's deeply in her own world. Janai opens up about acknowledging that she does crave a relationship — and that her resistance isn't about independence, but about fear of being hurt again.

We also dive into why vulnerability can feel especially hard in spaces with other Black women. How early conditioning, comparison, and competition among little girls can follow us into adulthood, making softness and openness feel unsafe even in rooms meant for sisterhood.

If you've ever struggled with intimacy, community, emotional walls, or letting yourself be seen — this episode is for you.

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🍒 @thekelsilee
🍒 @janaiiman
✨ @xo.upfromhere

In part two of this conversation, we go deeper into emotional intelligence — what it actually looks like, how it's developed, and the conversations that need to be happening but rarely are.

We talk through the kind of honest, patient conversation you'd have with a man if you were truly trying to teach emotional intelligence — not to shame, emasculate, or "fix" him, but to help him understand himself, his emotions, and the way they show up in relationships.

We unpack how important it is to cultivate safe spaces for Black men to explore vulnerability, emotional language, and self-awareness — while also holding space for a harder truth: women sometimes play a role in reinforcing toxic hypermasculinity by expecting men to be "hard," stoic, and unshakeable, only to belittle or dismiss them when they finally open up.

The conversation explores how emotional safety is built (and broken), how gender expectations shape emotional expression, and why healing requires accountability on both sides. Not just from men, but from women too.

If you've ever struggled to communicate emotionally with a partner, questioned what healthy masculinity looks like, or wondered how to create safer emotional dynamics in relationships, this episode is for you.

Follow us on Instagram:
🍒 @thekelsilee
🍒 @janaiiman
✨ @xo.upfromhere

In part one of this two-part episode, we kick things off by talking about the vision boards Janai and Kelsi made — what we're calling in, what we're intentionally building, and how our desires are shifting as we grow.

We break the ice with a new segment we're officially coining Whiteboard Confessions, playing games that lead us straight into honesty, laughs, and unexpected takes. From there, the conversation takes a turn into dating, standards, and self-awareness.

Janai shares about a recent date and the long list of things she didn't like — and Kelsi challenges whether that list exists because of pretty privilege… aka having options. That opens up a deeper discussion about how privilege shows up differently depending on gender, and whether pretty privilege for women mirrors what weaponized incompetence has historically been for men.

We unpack how women have evolved so much in the workplace and the world at large that they no longer need men in the same ways — and how some men internalize that shift through resentment, hostility, and a growing hatred toward the modern woman.

The episode closes by setting the stage for a deeper conversation on emotional intelligence — what it looks like, who's actually doing the work, and why it's becoming the real divider in modern relationships.

If you're interested in dating dynamics, gender roles, power shifts, and the uncomfortable truths shaping modern relationships, this episode is for you.

Follow us on Instagram:
🍒 @thekelsilee
🍒 @janaiiman
✨ @xo.upfromhere